“I know that look,” Shy said, pouring tea into mismatched vintage cups with saucers. “What are you thinking about?”
“I’m just thinking about how far off course my life has gotten the past few years.” There were few people who would understand her plight. Most would say she was crazy to complain. Outwardly, she had everything she’d ever wanted. But inside she still felt empty, as though she’d gotten so used to ignoring her inner voice it had abandoned her altogether, leaving her alone to figure things out.
“What do you mean?” Shy asked, frowning as she sat down beside Sophie. “Are you not happy in L.A.?”
That was the sixty-four thousand dollar question. Was she happy? It didn’t feel like it. In fact, if she re-traced her steps she’d realize moments of happiness and contentment had been fleeting lately, maybe even limited to the time she spent with Dalton.
“I’m not happy period, Shy.” She sighed, realizing she’d made a dramatic statement. “I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to come here and dump all this on you.”
Shy slapped Sophie’s hand before sliding the plate of cookies between them. “Nonsense. That’s what good friends are for. Now tell me what’s got you so down.”
It was difficult to put into words, since it just felt like an abstract sense of discontent, but Sophie tried to paint her friend a picture, hoping she would be able to help her put things in perspective. “Ever since I started Easton’s I had this dream of being featured in all the big magazines, seeing celebrities with my bags on the red carpet-”
“And you’ve realized that dream,” Shy said, squeezing Sophie’s forearm. “And I for one, couldn’t be more proud of you. What you’ve accomplished, all on your own, is nothing short of a miracle.”
Sophie appreciated the praise, but her miracle was beginning to feel like a nightmare. “I don’t know if I’ve changed or my vision has changed,” Sophie said, thinking aloud. “But it feels like I don’t own the business anymore. It owns me.”
“What do you mean?”
Sophie reached for a paper napkin imprinted with bright pink roses before taking a cookie. She broke it in half before popping a bite in her mouth, trying to buy some time to make sense of what she was thinking. “I love the creative process. I love making things, seeing my designs come to life. I don’t get to do that anymore.”
“Why not?”
“I’m too caught up in the logistics of running a business.” She chewed in silence, watching Shy do the same. “My only creative expression is during the design process now and that’s not what I wanted. It just sort of happened, when I wasn’t looking.”
“Well, it’s your baby,” Shy said. “If things aren’t the way you want them to be, change them.”
It seemed so easy, but to Sophie it felt like a runaway train she couldn’t stop. “I wish I could. But if I were to get more involved in making the bags, I’d have to delegate something else, and I don’t know what that would be.”
Shy seemed to consider what Sophie was saying before she asked, “Has Easton’s outgrown you?”
“What do you mean?” Sophie chuckled at the question until she realized Shy was serious. “How could it have outgrown me? I am Easton’s.”
“Sometimes we have a vision,” Shy explained, reaching for a second cookie. “Everything comes to life in our imagination. All the pieces fall into place and everything looks perfect. We decide that’s the way we want it to be, but we never stop to consider whether our vision will feel as good as it looks.”
Knowing her friend was making a profound point borne of personal experience, Sophie processed her opinion before asking, “Is that where you think I went wrong? I focused too much on my vision without stopping to check in with myself on whether I was happy with the direction we were taking?”
“It’s easy to lose touch with yourself,” Shy said. “Especially in the pursuit of a dream that can feel so much bigger than you are.”
Shy summed it up perfectly. Her business almost felt like a huge boulder rolling downhill, threatening to crush her if she didn’t figure out how to get out of the way. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“It’s never too late to make changes. You just have to figure out what would make you happy and follow that path.”
Shy made it sound so easy, but she’d always been a one woman show by choice. She didn’t understand how much of a burden it was to meet payroll every week. “I have other people to think about,” Sophie said, thinking about the meeting she’d had with her staff.
“You mean your employees?” Shy asked. When Sophie nodded, she said, “That does complicate things if you decide you want to scale back your operation but-”
“Scale back?” Sophie was horrified at the prospect. She’d work so hard to build, not to tear it all down on a whim. “What are you talking about?” We’ve seen at least thirty percent growth a year for the past five years. Why would I reduce production when demand is higher than ever?”
“Because you just said yourself you don’t love it anymore.”
Is that what she said? She may have felt it. Shy may have sensed it, but she didn’t think she had the courage to admit it aloud. “I feel trapped.” She swallowed hard, feeling the words get caught in her throat along with the oppressive emotions of living a life that made her feel like she was selling out.
“You’re not trapped,” Shy said, emphatically. “This is your life. The decisions you make are your own. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. As much as you love those women who work for you, you’re not responsible for them, Sophie. They had jobs before you hired them and if you dissolved Easton’s tomorrow they would be fine.”
Shy knew her friend was right. Maybe she was being selfish, thinking about how much she would miss those women if they weren’t a part of her life anymore. “But the idea of dissolving the business is ridiculous. We did eight million in sales last year. You don’t just dissolve a successful company.”
“You’re right, you don’t,” Shy said, quirking an arched brow. “You sell it.”
“Sell it?” Sophie had never even considered the possibility of selling her baby. “What would I do if I sold my business? It’s my life.”
“But do you want it to be your life?”
Sophie sank back in the chair, contemplating her friend’s question. “But what we’re selling is unique. I’m not saying no one else could do what I do, but it wouldn’t be easy to re-produce. Everything is hand-made, including the embellishments. Materials are dyed to-”
“Who says you couldn’t continue on as the lead designer?” Shy asked. “You could sell to someone who wanted to run the business but needed you to design their seasonal lines.”
Sophie considered her current partnership with Jeremy. He was a brilliant business man, but his vision for the company was different than hers. If she told him she wanted to return to Texas to focus on the design and oversee production while she left him to handle the sales and marketing, she wondered if she could relinquish that much control.
“What are you thinking?”
Sophie chuckled. “Working with Jeremy is making me miserable because we’re butting heads all the time. He wants to take things in a direction I just don’t see them going. But I can’t deny he knows business. He’s built his own world renowned brand, grass roots style.”
“Maybe you’re holding on too tight,” Shy suggested.
“How so?”
“When you have a baby, you spend years nurturing him or her, knowing you’ll eventually have to let them go so they can find their own way.”
Sophie had often called Easton’s her baby, but she honestly didn’t believe it until she heard Shy describe the experience of motherhood.
“They may succeed without you or they may fail. There’s no way of knowing, but if you try to stand in their way you’ll only hurt them.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing?” Sophie asked, stunned by her friend’s insight. “You think I’m standing in the way of my company’
s growth?”
“I think you joined forces with Jeremy because you believed he had the tools to take the business to the next level and now you’re questioning him because his suggestions are making you uncomfortable.”
Sophie hated to admit it, but she feared Shy was right. She’d been telling herself that Jeremy just didn’t understand, but maybe she was the clueless one.
“Massive growth scares you because you’re already feeling overwhelmed. You think if you grow much more, you’ll lose all sense of yourself. You’ll get buried.”
Sophie closed her eyes, letting Shy’s words seep in. “That’s exactly how I feel.”
“Sounds to me like you have a choice to make.”
“Yeah.”
“You could relinquish control by either selling the business in its entirety to someone who would allow you creative input, or you could maintain creative control while partnering with Jeremy, but that would mean you’d have to let him run the business his way.”
“His way,” Sophie repeated, feeling the knot in her stomach tighten. “I’m not sure if I can do that.”
“I’m not saying it’s going to be an easy choice. Obviously it’s not. But if you want to re-claim your life and find some balance again, something’s got to give.”
“You’re right.”
“You don’t have to decide right now,” Shy said, covering Sophie’s hand with hers. “Just think about it.” She reached into a small crystal bowl in the middle of the table, extracting a single key attached to a crystal prism. “Would you be mad at me if I told you there was another reason I asked you to stop by today?”
“That depends,” Sophie joked. “What are you up to?”
“My next door neighbour is selling her place privately. She’s already bought a condo in Florida. She’s out there now getting settled and asked me to show the place while she’s gone.”
“I don’t understand,” Sophie said, looking at the suspect key. “What does that have to do with me?”
“Just have a look at it, Soph. I think it would be perfect for you.”
“But I have an apartment in L.A. and a condo here. Why would I want-”
“I have never been more creative or inspired than I’ve been since I moved here.”
“I can certainly see why,” Sophie said, stealing a peek at the meandering wildflowers that led to the small sandy beach. “It’s beautiful out here.”
“I saw how much you loved it when you came to visit me the first time,” Shy said. “I won’t lie. I thought how great it would be if we could be neighbours again.”
“That would be awesome, but I don’t think this is the right time for me to buy a property.”
“Think about it,” Shy argued. “Even if you do decide to stay on in L.A., you still need a place to stay when you’re here. That’s why you kept your condo, right?”
“Well yeah, but-”
“You could sell your condo and make this your home base instead.”
Sophie couldn’t deny she was excited at the prospect of starting over somewhere new. And the beautiful views and next door neighbours who felt more like family, definitely made this a more enticing prospect.
“I’m not making any promises,” Sophie said, eyeing the key ring. “But let’s check it out.”
“Yay!” Shy clapped her hands. “Just let me see if Trev’s up from his nap yet. If he is, we can be on our way.”
Chapter Nine
Sophie stared out the large picture window that overlooked the lake, imagining herself sitting on the stone patio that led from the kitchen, watching the sunrise over the water as she sipped her morning coffee. The property was perfect, but the cottage itself was in desperate need of updating.
From the outdated kitchen and bathrooms to the worn linoleum, scarred paint and peeling wallpaper, it was a contractor’s dream and a busy professional’s nightmare.
“So, what do you think?” Shy asked, propping her baby on her hip. “Is it perfect, or what?”
Sophie grimaced. “Perfect might be a bit of a stretch.”
“Come on, girl. Where’s your sense of adventure? You’re a visionary, right? An artist. Surely you can see the potential in this gem.”
It did have high ceilings, plenty of natural light and amazing original features, including stained glass windows, bead board, and vintage crystal chandeliers. She could imagine the small house with a mix of shabby chic and cottage style furnishings. White, slipcovered sofas facing each other, distressed painted wood furniture and a few feminine touches in pastel colors and floral prints. Maybe Shy was right. Maybe this could be the perfect place for her.
“I’ll need to think about it.”
“Don’t take too long,” Shy warned. “It may look like a bit of a dump, but places here are in high demand. People don’t blink at the thought of modernizing, which is what worries me.”
Shy was a purist and she loved to upcycle old clothing and furnishings to give them a new lease on life. “You’re afraid someone will come along and take all of the character out of the place?”
“Can you blame me?” Shy asked, pointing to some of the huge homes that had been built on the other side of the lake. “Those were once charming little cottages. Now look at them. They’re the size of a department store.”
Her friend was exaggerating, but not by much. “Do you think the owner would hold off on selling the place until I come back next weekend if you told her I promised I wouldn’t tear the place down if I bought it, and I’d try to preserve as much of the original character as possible.”
Shy grinned. “I knew you’d feel that way. Actually, I think Mrs. Mathers could definitely be persuaded to wait a bit if I told her all about you. You see, she owned a little boutique in Arlington most of her life. She still loves fashion. In fact, I’m sure she’s heard of you.”
Sophie was surprised to learn the owner of this home was fashion conscious. The home didn’t reflect her sense of style. If anything, it looked tired and neglected.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Shy said, rubbing her son’s back when he laid his head on her shoulder. “But Mrs. Mathers didn’t use the place much after her kids went off to college and her husband passed on. It was just a little getaway spot for them. Her father built it. That’s why she couldn’t bring herself to sell it.”
“Until now?”
“Yeah, she’s getting on in years and her kids are scattered across the country now so none of them want the place. She hated the thought of it being torn down and she really doesn’t need the money so if I told her you were committed to preserving the cottage, I think she’d give you a little time to think about it.”
As Sophie looked around she imagined small kids racing around the house, building sand castles on the beach, and sneaking away to the treehouse when they got a little older and wanted some privacy. “Still, it’s an hour from my studio.”
“Assuming you decide against selling the business or re-structuring your partnership with Jeremy and wanted to work from Arlington, you could afford to keep the condo in town and use this as your little weekend getaway spot.”
Sophie couldn’t deny she loved the idea of having somewhere to escape the rat-race every weekend. Her brother and Carly said their little cabin in the woods was the sole reason they’d been able to maintain their sanity while planning a wedding and moving to a new house together.
“It does sound appealing.” Thoughts of Dalton crept into her head, but even if she did want his input he was half-way around the country.
“So what’s stopping you?” Shy smiled when Trevor held his hands out to Sophie.
Sophie gladly took him, giggling when he wrapped his chubby fist in her hair. “I told you I’ve been seeing someone, right?”
“Yeah, but I got the impression it wasn’t all that serious.”
“That’s because I was in denial.” Sophie kissed Trevor’s soft cheek. “It is serious. At least I think it could be.”
“So why don’t you show him the pl
ace before you decide?” Shy asked. “See what he thinks.”
“I’d like to, but he’s in Vegas with some friends and I can’t stick around until he gets back. I have a meeting I really can’t miss.”
“Maybe you could-”
Sophie’s buzzing cell phone cut her friend off. She knew Trevor was crawling, but there was no way she’d put him down on the dirty hardwood floor.
“Here, I’ll take him. It’s almost time for him to eat anyhow,” Shy said, reclaiming her son. “Why don’t you take another walk around the house and come back to my place when you’re done.”
“Thanks,” Sophie said. “I think I will.”
She was shocked when she saw Dalton’s number flash across her screen. “Hey,” she said, quickly connecting the call. “Your ears must have been burning. I was just talking about you.”
He chuckled. “Was it good or bad?”
“All good,” she assured him. Just the sound of his voice made her smile. “Where are you?”
“Back at my place. Just got in the door, in fact.”
“What?” She couldn’t keep the excitement out of her voice, though she knew she should be playing it close to the vest. “I thought you were going to be in Vegas until tomorrow night.”
“I was, but your dumbass brother got sick and we decided to come back.”
“What happened?”
“I think it was something he ate.” He laughed. “Or maybe it had something to do with how much he drank last night. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. It’s nothing serious.”
“Oh good.” She hesitated before adding, “You won’t believe where I am.”
“Try me.”
“Remember that artist friend I told you about?”
“The one who got married, had a baby, and moved to some little cottage?”
She loved that he remembered every detail she’d shared with him about Shyanne. “That’s the one. I came out to visit her today after I saw my parents and she walked me through her neighbour’s cottage. It’s up for sale and she thought I might be interested.”
“Why would she think that?”
He didn’t sound as enthusiastic as she thought he would, but she tried not to let that dampen her interest. She was an independent woman capable of making her own decisions. She certainly didn’t need his approval, though it would be nice if he was as intrigued with the idea as she was. If their relationship continued, she could imagine them spending a lot of time together at the cottage. Maybe even with their kids in tow, someday, but she didn’t want to get ahead of herself.
Possession (Texas Titans #8) Page 10