“I’m on my way out,” she said, glancing at her diamond watch. “So I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Where are you going?” he asked, slamming the door. He knew he had no right to ask, but he couldn’t help himself. He had to know.
“Out to dinner,” she said, tossing her black evening bag on a console table in the hallway before making her way into the living room.
He thought of all the times they’d cuddled on that very couch, under the throw she’d selected when they were on a shopping trip, sharing a big bowl of popcorn before the heated kisses led them to his bedroom. She’d spent so much time in his house. They’d made so many memories here. He didn’t know how he was going to go on living there without losing his mind.
“With who?” he asked, finally.
“Why do you care?” She sat on the sofa and crossed her legs, fully aware of the fact her dress was riding up her thigh to reveal an indecent amount of smooth skin.
Closing his hands around the back of the armchair in front of him, he said, “I don’t care. Just tell me why you’re here. I have things to do.”
She stretched her arms along the back of the sofa, a smile teasing her full lips. “You seem a little edgy, Mitch. Don’t you trust yourself around me?”
Hell, no. What man in his right mind could resist her? “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but I’m not interested.”
“I’m not the one whose playing games,” she said, her voice soft and sultry. She kicked her heels up on the ottoman, displaying her incredible, bare legs. “I’m here to lay my cards on the table, to show my hand, so to speak.”
She was showing him more than her hand and the effect left him breathless. Looking at her stretched out like that, thinking of all the times she’d laid beneath him on that couch, begging him to take her to bed, was wreaking havoc with his self-control. Knowing he was about to snap, he forced himself to take a deep breath.
“I want you.”
The shuddering breath that escaped at her reckless invitation left little doubt she’d hit her mark. “Can’t happen.”
“Why not?” she asked, looking innocent as she blinked those angelic eyes at him. “You don’t want me anymore?”
He wanted her even more than he wanted those pills he’d nearly taken, but he knew he couldn’t have her. Those pills were his poison and whether she knew it or not, he was hers. A life with an addict, recovering or not, wasn’t the kind of life she deserved.
“I can’t.”
“Just tell me why.”
He hung his head, praying for the strength to make her see reason. Why was she making this so hard on him? Why couldn’t she see this was killing him and just let go of the ridiculous notion that they belonged together?
“Is there someone else?”
“Goddammit, stop asking me that!” he shouted, turning away from her.
Jumping off the couch, she crossed the room. “It’s a fair question. What other reason could there be?” She got in his face when he tried to side-step her. Reaching for the side zipper running the length of her dress, her eyes locked on his as she slowly pulled it down.
“What the hell are you doing?” He watched the fine fabric fall to the floor before she stepped out of it. She was wearing a black lace bra and matching panties he’d never seen before and the will it took to resist tearing them off was making him feel light-headed. “Put your clothes back on.”
“Is that really what you want?” She reached around to unfasten her bra before it joined the dress on the floor. “Or is this what you want?”
He closed his eyes, knowing he would hate himself in the morning if he took her up on her offer, but feeling his resolve fade more with every passing second. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”
“You’re wrong.” She reached for his hands, fastening them to her hips. “That’s the only thing that matters, what you want and what I want. If we want each other, the rest is irrelevant.”
He swallowed when her perfume filtered through the thick air to strip away the last of his willpower. “You think that now, but you don’t know what you’re saying, Soph. Trust me, this isn’t good for you. I’m not good for you, baby.”
Her fingertip traced the top button of his shirt before popping it and the next ones loose. “You’re wrong,” she whispered, kissing the warm skin she bared after slowly peeling his shirt apart. “You are so good for me. You whet my appetite for things I’ve never craved before.”
“God.”
He dug his fingertips into her hips as she reached for his belt buckle. This may be one of the stupidest, most reckless mistakes he’d ever made, but he knew if he sent her home now he’d regret it for the rest of his life. It may be the epitome of selfishness, but he needed to make love to the woman of his dreams one last time.
“I told myself if you let this happen it would put my fears to rest,” she whispered, kissing his neck while lowering his jeans. “I’d know you weren’t seeing someone else if you could make love to me.”
“Stop saying that, please, baby. There’s no one else. There could never be anyone else.” He groaned when she took him in her hand, pushing his boxer briefs aside. “I’m so in love with you, you have no idea.” He cursed himself for revealing too much, but it was too late to take it back and he wasn’t sure he would if he could. If this night was meant to be their last, he wanted it to be their best, to give her memories that would fill the empty nights ahead when he couldn’t be there to hold her and remind her how special she was.
“I have some idea,” she said, stepping forward as she forced him to step back until the back of his legs eventually hit the edge of the sofa. With a firm hand, she pushed him back, grinning when he sprawled on the couch. All the humour fled when her eyes found his and she whispered, “I know because I love you just as much. You’re the man I’ve been waiting my whole life for, Dalton.”
“No.” He wanted to let her go on believing that almost as much as he wanted to believe it himself, but it wasn’t fair to either one of them to linger in a fantasy world when tomorrow they would both have to face the harsh reality. “You’re wrong, sweetheart. There’s someone so much better out there, just waiting for you to find him.” He’d rather swallow crushed glass than encourage her to find another man, but his conscience reminded him he had no choice. He was a liar and a fraud who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as this incredible woman.
“I’ve already found the man I want.” She lowered herself on his lap, kissing him until their mingled breath was the only thing between them. “And I don’t intend to let him go.”
A million objections surfaced in his mind, but the words wouldn’t come. He selfishly wanted to believe, just for a minute, that he could give her the kind of forever she’d always dreamed about.
They’d never made love like this before, their eyes locked as their bodies moved in sync. Even when they kissed, their eyes remained open as though they were afraid if they closed them they’d find they were dreaming.
No condom was the first rational thought that permeated his lust soaked brain by the time they’d both reached climax, but since he would trust her with his life and knew she was on the pill, he wasn’t concerned.
“I don’t care what you say,” Sophie sighed while flicking her tongue over his earlobe. “You don’t want to end this any more than I do.”
“I never said I want to end it,” he said, closing his eyes as he tried to figure out how he was going to pull himself out of the hole he’d dug. Making love to her only complicated things more. Telling her he loved her would give her false hope. He really was a selfish, thoughtless bastard. “I said I have to end it. For your sake, baby.” He touched her cheek, brushing back the strand of hair that clung to her moist lips. “Everything I’m doing right now is for you. Don’t ever doubt that.”
There was a part of him that wanted to believe they did belong together and maybe one day, a year or two from now, when he was feeling good physically and had kicked the
drug habit, they could find their way back to each other and she would understand that he’d tried to spare her a world of hurt by refusing to allow her to venture into hell with him.
“You have to tell me why you’re saying these things,” she said, curling her hands around his shoulders. “You can’t just tell me you love me, but can’t be with me, without offering some explanation. It isn’t fair!”
“You’re right, it isn’t fair. None of this is fair.” He’d told himself being intimate again would soothe some of their pain, but judging by the look in her eyes, it had only intensified hers. “But this is the way it has to be, Sophie. I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry.”
She stood up slowly, backing away from him as one would a cobra about to strike, as though she was suddenly fearful. “I was all wrong about you. I thought if you loved me, you couldn’t have sex with me unless you wanted a future with me. But I was wrong. You have no qualms about using me, do you? Have you been using me all along?”
“No!” He jumped to his feet, cursing when his knees screamed in protest. Grabbing her shoulders to haul her up as she bent to pick up her clothes, he said, “You’ve got to believe me when I tell you none of this was intentional. I thought we could have a life together, but that was before I had to face facts about myself.”
“What kind of facts?” she asked, looking sceptical. “Oh, I get it. You’re afraid you couldn’t be faithful to just one woman for the rest of your life, right?”
It would be easier to let her believe that, but he’d already deceived her enough. “That’s not it.” She would be more than enough woman for him until he drew his last breath.
She slammed her fists into his chest. “Damn it! Stop talking in riddles and just tell me the truth already!”
I’m a drug addict. I’m hooked on pain pills and can barely get through a day without them. I’d do anything to get them, even if it meant breaking the law. I’m out of control and refuse to drag you down with me. “I already told you, I can’t talk about it.”
“You told me after the wedding you’d-”
“That was before.” He collected her dress and undergarments, thrusting them into her hands. “Before I ended things with you, when I still thought we could find a way to make it work.”
She slapped him across the face so hard his head snapped back, but that was nothing compared to the throbbing pain in his chest.
“I hate you!” she sobbed. “I wish I’d never come here!”
“That makes two of us.” He was trying to act indifferent, as though the last half hour wouldn’t be burned in his memory for all eternity. “I didn’t ask you to come. That was your call.” He was trying to ensure she never came back, because he knew if she did, he would never survive another encounter like this one. “I didn’t ask to have sex with you. You came on to me. Just remember that.”
She glared at him as she dressed, the shock on her face registering her disbelief at his callous treatment. “Who the hell are you? You’re not the same guy I’ve known half my life. That man wouldn’t treat me this way.”
She was right. The battle with drugs had changed him. He didn’t even remember the man he’d once been. “You’re right. Now that you realize that, it should be easy to forget what we had.”
“What we had?” she asked. “What we had was a lie. You made me fall in love with someone who doesn’t even exist. You conned me and I think that hurts more than anything else.”
He watched her storm out of his house before he sank back on the couch, curling into the fetal position as he pulled the throw over his naked body. It still smelled like her. Bringing the soft fabric to his nose, he inhaled deeply as tears burned his eyes. He knew there wasn’t a pill on the planet strong enough to relieve this kind of pain. It was bone-deep, soul crushing pain that made broken bones and dislocated shoulders feel like a splinter.
This was the kind of a pain a man never recovered from.
***
After stopping at home for a quick shower to wash the scent of Dalton from her skin, Sophie was late arriving at High Rollers. She and Carly had agreed to meet a few friends for an early dinner so they could all get a good night’s sleep before the big day.
“We were beginning to think you’d bailed on us,” Carly said, standing to kiss her cheek.
She could barely look Sabrina in the eye after what went down with her brother, but she forced a smile, reminding herself that Sabrina wasn’t to blame and she shouldn’t let Dalton’s behavior impact her relationship with his sister.
“I would never do that,” Sophie admonished as she winked at Kiara. “A girl’s night is exactly what I needed tonight.”
“What are you drinking?” Sabrina asked, holding up the bottle of red wine the waiter had set in the middle of the table. “Does this work for you?”
Sophie raised her glass, trying to ignore the tremble in her hand. “I took a cab here, so just about anything works for me.”
“Been one of those days?” Sabrina asked, sympathetically.
“No, in fact it’s been a very relaxing day,” Sophie said. “Carly and I went to the spa.”
“You don’t look so relaxed,” Kiara said, reaching for her wine glass. “My guess is it has something to do with the blow-up you had with Dalton at your parent’s place last night. Did y’all kiss and make up?”
Since they were all in the wedding party, they’d been at the rehearsal dinner to witness her melt down and now she couldn’t avoid explaining the whole sordid mess. “There was some kissing,” she admitted. “But there’ll be no making up. It’s over.”
Sabrina covered Sophie’s hand, looking anguished when she asked, “Are you sure, honey? I know how much my brother loves you.”
Sophie sneered as she withdrew her hand and reached for her glass. “That’s where you’re wrong, I’m afraid. The only person that man loves is himself.”
“Uh oh,” Carly said, her eyes wide. “I’m beginning to think I gave you some bad advice. Going to see him was a mistake?”
“The mistake was agreeing to go out with him in the first place.” Even though Sabrina was his sister and would undoubtedly try to defend him, Sophie didn’t intend to pull any punches. The sooner her friends realized she was done with Dalton, the better. “But I refuse to keep punishing myself. We all make mistakes, right? The important thing is that we learn from them.”
Sophie downed her wine before reaching for the bottle to re-fill her glass. When she emptied the bottle, she signaled the waiter to bring another.
Sabrina bit her lip, looking as though she was chomping at the bit to respond. Finally, when all eyes were on her, she said, “Things aren’t always as they seem, Sophie. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances.”
Sophie rolled her eyes. “Not you too. I suppose you’re going to tell me he’s harbouring some big secret that he can’t share with me? Whatever it is, I don’t give a damn anymore. Let him wallow in misery for the rest of his life for all I care.”
“Excuse me,” Sabrina said, tossing her napkin on the table before rising. “I need to use the restroom.”
“Wow,” Carly said softly, when Sabrina was out of earshot. “That was harsh. What the hell happened to make you turn on him?”
“He used me.” Sophie refused to feel guilty for bringing Dalton’s unforgiveable behavior to light. “I guess I will in denial, but that all changed tonight.”
“What happened tonight?” Kiara asked, frowning.
“Last night he told me it was over, but I thought he just needed me to prove to him how much I loved him and wanted to make this work. So I went over there and basically seduced him.”
“And?” Kiara said, rolling her hand. “What happened next?”
“He said it didn’t change a thing. He still didn’t want anything more to do with me.”
“Let me get this straight,” Carly said, raising her hand. “He had sex with you but he doesn’t want to get back together?”
“That’s right.” The wine, which ha
d tasted so smooth after the first glass now burned with bitterness. “So I’m done making a fool of myself. He can rot in hell for all I care.”
“Oh God, I feel awful about this,” Carly said, wincing. “If I’d known going to see him was going to make you feel worse I never would have suggested it.”
“It’s not your fault.” Sophie smiled, trying to back up her claim. “It was honestly the best thing I could have done. Last night and earlier today I was feeling sad and depressed it was over. Now I’m just angry. Believe me, anger feels a hell of a lot better.”
“I know what you mean,” Kiara said, nodding. “It’s the next step in the grieving process. According to my dad, the shrink, it’s healthy. It means you’re one step closer to acceptance.”
“Oh, I found acceptance on the ride over here,” Sophie said, smiling at the cute waiter who was opening the wine bottle at Carly’s side. “I’m over it.”
“You don’t get over the man you loved that quickly,” Carly said. “You’re just in denial.”
“I am not!” Carly may have known her most of her life, but she didn’t know what was in her heart. No man, not even Dalton was going to use her like that and get away with it. She was tired of his games, deceit and lies. She was ready to move on and if the cute cowboy making eyes at her from the bar had anything to say about it, it wouldn’t be long before Dalton was a distant memory.
Chapter Fifteen
The last thing Dalton wanted to do was go to High Rollers to pick his sister’s drunk ass up, but since she’d called whining about having too much to drink and needing a ride home, he felt guilty telling her to call a cab. She claimed Dylan was home with the kids so she couldn’t call him and since the few beers Dalton had had worn off hours ago, he didn’t have a reasonable excuse to leave her high and dry. He just prayed Sophie wasn’t part of his sister’s drunkfest. He could handle seeing her now.
But of course she was the very first person he spotted before his sister raced over to meet him at the door. “Who the hell’s that cowboy she’s dancin’ with?” Dalton demanded of Sabrina, while staring at the couple in question.
Possession (Texas Titans #8) Page 17