by Lily Zante
“About your past, Savannah. Let me in,” he pleaded. “You can let it all out.”
“Let what out?” She gave a nervous laugh as he looked at her for the longest time.
“The pain that can drag you down.”
“Is that what it felt like?” She asked, “the guilt you carried, and the pain, about Ivy and Zachary?”
“Yes.”
“And it helped to tell me?”
“Yes.”
She knew what he was trying to get her to do. She was guilty of hiding her past, of trying to keep those memories buried and she had discovered that suppressing them didn’t make them disappear. Perhaps she had to let them out, as he had done, but she wasn’t yet ready for that. Not yet.
“In time, Tobias.” She smiled as she felt his hidden hardness under the water.
“In time,” he whispered as she leaned forward and kissed him, melting into his mouth again. He was so familiar, the taste of him, the scent of him and she knew every curve and ridge of his body, of his mouth, his lips, his hands and his most private places. She felt as if she’d been with him for years, not a few months. Their kiss started deep and slow and went deeper, turned more sensual, and she raised her body so that her breasts were level with his face, barely giving him the chance to lap at them before she slid onto him slowly, letting him fill her completely.
Her breasts tingled as he slid inside her, the feel of him making her shiver. “You feel so good.” His words were slow, his voice strained, as she swallowed him to the hilt. “Uh-huh,” she murmured, closing her eyes and moaning in ecstasy.
He fit with her just right. He teased and tasted and touched and loved her more than anyone ever had.
His eyelids flew wide open. “I’ve been meaning to ask you…” he pulled his mouth away from her breast long enough to cause her distress. She stared at him in disbelief, unable to stop herself from moving up and down. “What?” she gasped, as his fingers stroked her under the water.
“The Gala dinner.”
Oh, god, what? She couldn’t think about anything right now, she could only feel. And the feel of him rubbing against her had already set her nerves on fire. “Don’t talk,” she begged.
And so he didn’t. His hands held her steady around her waist, and she, lost and giddy from the feel of him inside her, clawed her fingers into his chest.
~~
“How come you’re always working late, Mommy?” Jacob asked as she put the book way.
“I’m not always working late,” she protested, with a playful laugh. It was only one night a week. “I had some extra things to do.”
“Like what?”
“Like…stuff. The stuff I normally do. I had to get it done before Grandpa and Grandma come. I’ve take a few days off work and you and I are going to take them around the city.”
“Awesome!”
“Go and brush your teeth, honey,” she said, putting away the book they had been reading together. She was taking four days of leave and spending three of those with her parents and Jacob and one day with Tobias. But to her parents, she was going to pretend that she was returning to work on Thursday. They didn’t yet know about Tobias.
When he’d driven her back home earlier, when he had her full attention, he had asked her once more to consider the Gala dinner. “It’s barely a month away, Savannah.” Maybe he thought it would be enough time to get used to this. She wasn’t so sure she was ready to step out into the world as the woman Tobias Stone was dating.
Jacob came running back into the room, smelling minty. “Can Grandma and Grandpa come to my awards ceremony?”
“Honey,” said Savannah, soothingly. “They won’t be here then but I know they would if they could. I think Grandma and Grandpa are working right up until Easter so that they can spend more time with you while you’re at home.”
“Are you coming?”
“Am I coming? Jacob Samuel Page, how could I even think of missing something like that?” She was so proud of him. He seemed to be settling in fine at this school despite the likes of Henry Carson.
“I’ve told Briony that I’ll be coming into work later that day.”
“Did you see Mr. Stone today?”
She lowered her head and pretended to smooth out a wrinkle in the duvet before answering and feeling brave enough to look at him. “He was in the office. Why are you asking?”
“I think he likes you, Mommy.”
She tried to stifle the smile that itched at the edge of her lips. “What makes you think that?”
“We see him a lot and I think he likes talking to you ‘cos he doesn’t really know me.”
“He does know you.” She gave his nose a gentle tap. “He’s bought you all the right toys, hasn’t he?”
“I guess,” admitted Jacob. “It’s good that he spends time with us ‘cos I really like being with him.”
“It’s fun, isn’t it?”
“We never did stuff like that before.”
“What stuff?”
“Like go out, with daddy.”
“No. We didn’t do much of that,” she recalled, her fingers touching the two intertwined rings on the necklace Tobias had given her. “Do you miss daddy?”
“No.” His mouth set in a firm line. “I like it with the three of us. You, me and Mr. Stone.”
She felt relieved.
“When are we going to see him again?” Jacob asked.
As well as making time for one another once a week, she and Tobias had decided to spend at least one day on the weekend together, with Jacob. “This weekend.”
“Really?”
She nodded. “Tobias has booked us on an Easter egg hunt.” Jacob nodded his head excitedly. It had been Tobias’s suggestion and it pleased her that he was so thoughtful when it came to her son. She hoped that the more time the three of them spent, the more Jacob would get used to seeing her and Tobias together, before she told him about their relationship.
“But it’s not Easter yet.”
“Grandma and Grandpa will be over during the Easter weekend and Tobias won’t be able to see us then.”
“Why? Don’t they like him?”
“It’s not that they don’t like him.” They don’t know about him. “It’s more that Tobias wants us to spend time with your grandparents.”
She’d have to tell Jacob soon, when she was ready. Her parents’ impending visit was going to complicate things further and she would have to sneak around again. It was one thing Rosalee knowing she had a lover, it was a whole different thing if her parents found out.
That was why she couldn’t think about the Gala dinner that Tobias seemed so keen on her attending. She wasn’t ready to put herself on the arm of New York’s most eligible bachelor. In fact, she wasn’t sure she would ever be ready for that.
Not while the ghost of Colt Brookes still haunted her.
Chapter 3
“I’ll get these written up for you.” Candace finished scribbling into her notebook. “It’s going to be a busy few weeks,” she commented, closing her folder.
“Every week is busy,” replied Tobias. There never was a let-up or a slow week for him. Though lately, his mind had been more fixated by his recently revived love life than by the business which normally consumed him. He liked these new changes in his life and it put a smile on his face thinking about it.
“What’s funny?” Candace asked, looking curious.
“Nothing,” Tobias dismissed her comment. She hadn’t still managed to drop that annoying habit of speaking to him as if she had a right to know about everything he was up to. He sensed that some news must have spread around the office because it wasn’t only Candace who’d been asking subtly veiled questions.
Matthias had too.
He’d made a few comments which Tobias had thought were odd. He knew Savannah was justified in her mistrust of his PA, and rightly so. He sensed that office politics played a large part in her hesitation of making their relationship public.
Candace stood up.
“Don’t forget you’re one of the keynote speakers at the Charity Gala next month.”
“I know.” Getting Savannah to come along was something he had to fix. “What’s the exact date?” He opened his cell phone to check his calendar.
“9th April.”
The dinner was a few weeks before his trip to Dextronics and he wondered if he could convince Matthias to stay behind so that he could take Savannah along with him instead. It would cause problems between him and Matthias, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t been able to manage it for the trip to Hong Kong, but if her parents were over, it seemed to be the ideal opportunity for them to go away.
One step at a time. He had to convince her to attend the Gala dinner first.
“You’re sitting with Brigitte Obenchain.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s going alone, too, I imagine. She’s also giving a keynote speech.” Candace rifled through her folder. “Here’s the table plan I’ve been sent.”
He looked away, refused to take it. “I’m bringing a date.” One way or another.
“Naomi?” Her voice rose in pitch.
“No,” he replied, his voice tight. He didn’t like it when Candace pried but he had to give some validity to the rumors he sensed had been going around. “We’re no longer together.”
She cleared her throat. “I see. Who shall I put you down with?”
“Plus one for now. That’s all. You may go.” He turned to his computer and started to reply to his emails long before he heard the door close. The corners of his lips curved upwards. Tobias could imagine the cogs of his PA’s brain grinding together at full speed.
Maybe he’d get to ask Savanah tomorrow at the Easter egg hunt. Convincing Savannah Page to take a chance on him might not be as difficult as he first imagined.
Chapter 4
Chocolate spots dotted his mouth and chin as Jacob happily chomped his way through the one Easter egg that Savannah had allowed him.
“You look as if you’re enjoying that, buddy,” Tobias said, giving Savannah’s waist a quick squeeze while her son was deeply engrossed in the egg. Jacob looked up, nodded in agreement and carried on.
If she’d let him have his way he would have happily taken the entire basket of eggs he’d found in the Easter egg hunt. Tobias had booked the tickets and the event included a full buffet lunch as well as the privilege of having a photo with the Easter Bunny. This didn’t appeal much to Jacob but she managed to convince him, not wishing to hurt Tobias’s feelings. What she couldn’t get Jacob to do was to take part in cupcake decorating. He made a face as if it were an unbearable activity though he happily sat down at one of the many craft tables that were set out.
They had enjoyed another relaxed Saturday and it seemed as if it was a normal family day out for them. She loved it, Jacob thrived on it, and Tobias looked more carefree and relaxed than ever. She watched him looking over her son’s shoulder with interest, genuine interest, and more interest than his father had ever shown him. Spending the weekend with the two men in her life only reminded her what a long way she had come from when she had first arrived in New York.
After the craft session was over they wandered over to the grassy area where Jacob was sitting on the ground looking over the bag of goodies each child had received. She and Tobias stood a few feet away, leaning against a low wall. She lowered her head onto Tobias’s shoulder, enjoying the peace of the perfect moment.
“Hey,” he said, softly. “Tired?”
She lifted her head up and found Jacob looking at her. “I keep forgetting,” she said, smiling at her son as she moved away from Tobias slightly.
“It’s easy to do,” he replied.
It was becoming increasingly difficult not only to hide their romance at work, but to remain detached and aloof around Jacob as well. They were tactile around one another and there were far too many moments where they had almost held hands or slipped their fingers around one another’s waist or hips. In the office and around other people, Tobias maintained his control as well as his distance but whenever they were alone at work, their frequent glances at one another masked their desire to be closer. Candace suspected. Savannah knew she did. Yet Briony hadn’t said a word, but it was only a matter of time, Savannah felt sure.
At least things were less complicated where Rosalee was concerned. Savannah could tell her without lying why she was going to be late on the days she spent with Tobias. One less lie in an ocean swimming with them, made a big difference.
The bigger worry was how she was going to tip-toe around her parents when they arrived. Savannah wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or worried. Although she was excited by the thought of her parents coming to visit, she wasn’t sure how long they were going to stay and therefore had no idea how this would impact her seeing Tobias.
“This isn’t his kind of thing, is it?” Tobias asked. “I get the feeling he’s bored.”
“No, he’s having a good time,” she rushed to reassure him. She’d mentioned a few weeks ago in passing about doing an Easter egg hunt for him. Her idea had been to have it in their apartment since they had no yard. Unbeknownst to her, Tobias had taken it upon himself to book a proper event. She’d been touched, even though she had almost choked when she’d seen the price of the tickets. “Jacob’s had a lot of fun today,” she told him, nudging him playfully in the ribs and not wanting him to think the hunt had been a disappointment. “Look at his face all covered in chocolate. That’s proof, if you want it.” She was about to touch his face but she remembered just in time as she saw Jacob walk over to them. “
“Can we go now?” He asked.
“We could go and watch the Easter Parade.” Tobias suggested but Jacob didn’t look convinced.
“Not your kind of thing, huh? What would you like to do?”
“Can we go to Bryant Park?” he asked. Tobias looked to her for an answer.
“We could,” she replied, especially since she hadn’t planned anything for today.
Jacob shrieked in excitement, causing Tobias to mess up the boy’s hair, playfully. Seeing the close bond that was developing between the two warmed Savannah’s heart. But before she could ponder anything further she saw him raise his hand at someone. She turned to look but couldn’t make out who it was in the sea of faces milling around the park.
“Who’re you waving at, honey?”
“Henry Carson.” The moment he said it, Savannah saw the troublesome little boy. His unsmiling and sullen face was recognizable even from this distance. He stood next to a familiar looking tall, thin man and woman—his parents and she presumed that the adorable doll-like toddler holding her father’s hand was Henry’s sister.
Jacob had grabbed Tobias’s hand and showed no inclination of going nearer. As for herself, Savannah smiled, and nodded her head.
“Don’t you want to go over and say, ‘Hi’,” Tobias asked, and was met with an emphatic ‘No!’ from Savannah and Jacob.
“Come on,” she said, laying her hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “Let’s go to Bryant Park.”
A short while later as they watched Jacob on the swings in the children’s play area, Tobias asked her. “What’s the deal with the boy from Jacob’s class.”
“He’s a little terror,” she said, and explained the series of episodes beginning with the Christmas concert when Henry had said that Jacob’s dad didn’t love him, to him laughing at her son for using his inhaler.
Tobias scrubbed his face, disbelieving. “I wish I’d have known. I’d have made sure we went over to say ‘hello’. That’s fucking insane.” The last of his words floated to Jacob who was walking up behind him. Her son stopped, in shock. Tobias turned to see what Savannah was looking at. “What’s the matter?” He asked Jacob. All she could see was her son’s eyes because he had clapped his hands across his mouth. “You used the F-word,” Savannah explained, sighing.
Confused, he asked her. “The F-word?” Then understanding, his eyes widened. “The F-word. So I did.” He turned to J
acob. “I’m sorry, buddy. I shouldn’t have said that. I won’t do it again.”
Suitably appeased, Jacob lowered his hands. “Do you want to come to my awards ceremony, Mr. Stone?”
“Your awards ceremony?”
Damn. Not this. Savannah’s throat dried up. “Mr. Stone is busy at work, Jacob. He can’t just drop everything to attend things like this.” What would everyone think? What would Lenny’s parents think? Savannah laughed nervously. “It starts as soon as the school day starts,” she told Tobias, trying to sound dismissive. “It’s just a small event in the morning.” She shook her head, implying that it was no big deal.
“It’s not a small thing!” Jacob retorted. “I got the award for being a helpful member of my class.” Savannah instantly regretted her words. She had wrongly trivialized her son’s ceremony and all because she didn’t want Tobias to attend.
“I’m sorry, honey.” She rephrased her words. “It is a big thing. It’s a great achievement, and I’m very proud of Jacob,” she told Tobias. “But I know how busy you are.” She hoped this last admission might explain why she hadn’t mentioned a thing to him about it.
“Please, Mr. Stone. Please come.”
“I would love to but are you sure it’s okay for me to…?” He turned to her for clarification, for support, for her permission.
She twisted her hands together. “If you want to…” She couldn’t say ‘no’.
“I absolutely want to.” Then in a lower voice and directing his words to her, “Only if you’re okay with this.” It was easy to see from the expression on his face that Tobias was eager to attend. Who was she to deny him? Who was she to ruin Jacob’s moment? She knew exactly why her son had asked Tobias and for that reason alone, she had to accept it. It would be a morning ceremony and not as many parents turned up at those preferring the evening concerts. Would it be too risky if Tobias was there?
“Come along,” she replied. “It would make Jacob’s day.”
Jacob looked down at the grass. “But if you really don’t want to, Mr. Stone, you don’t have to.”