by Lily Zante
“I’m trying,” she replied. He was here because they were together. It couldn’t get any simpler than that. “Did you drive here?”
“Morris is parked along that road.” He pointed behind him. Horrified, she glanced over his shoulder. “You came in the Limo?”
“No, did you want me to? I would have if you’d aksed.” He smiled at her sweetly.
“You’re not helping to calm me.” She smiled as a few moms walked past, their gazes lingering on Tobias.
When they had passed, he moved his head towards her. “I told him to bring the Merc,” he murmured, his lips hovering around her ear before he pulled away. “Come on, Savannah. I don’t want to be late.” His fingers reached out for her hand. “May I?” And she let him hold it.
They walked into the hall and looked for empty seats. She whispered to Tobias, “this way”. Heads turned and people stared at them both as they made their way. She smiled and nodded at the faces she recognized, some teachers, including Jacob’s class teacher, whose smile looked as if it would light up the school hall.
She let go of Tobias’s hand as they sat down and even then people on either side of her, and across the hall, continued to stare at them both. He leaned in towards her, “Relax, Savannah.”
Easy for you to say, she thought. The way these women were ogling Tobias she didn’t think she could ever relax again. “There he is,” said Tobias, oblivious to the fact that all eyes were on him as he happily waved to Jacob. She turned and saw Jacob’s teacher leading the children in to the hall. Jacob had seen them and if the smile on his face grew any wider, he would need stitches to sew up the sides of his lips. He waved at them, a tiny wave, but he looked so happy that Savannah was happy Tobias was here. She looked at him beside her. He looked proud, smiling as widely as Jacob, and she realized in that moment that she was secondary to this. Tobias had come for Jacob—she’d known it on a deeper level but only now did she understand it at a heart level. She watched Jacob nudge Lenny who followed him like a lapdog.
In that moment she relaxed, because it no longer mattered to keep their liaison a secret. Things were unfolding as they should, if she allowed them to, if she stopped worrying and got out of her own way. She settled down and watched the ceremony unfold.
“Better now?” Tobias asked.
“I’m fine,” she replied, looking at his blue eyes, soft and shiny, and the expression on his face gentle. It was going to be fine because Tobias was by her side.
They watched as the children from Jacob’s class filed to the front and were honored with awards for exemplary behavior, working well, putting forth good effort and attaining achievement. Soon it was Jacob’s turn and Savannah watched, pride spilling out of her, as he walked up to the principal. He beamed back at her as he received his certificate. She took pictures, as many as she could in that three second slice of time.
“I got a few nice shots,” Tobias whispered, putting his cell phone away. She hadn’t expected him to be as excited as he was. And then she realized: he’d never had a chance to do this before.
He almost could have, had life not conspired against him. Savannah’s chest tightened. Today must have been tough for Tobias, but she’d been too embroiled in her own worries to pay him any notice. Maybe he had been thinking of Zachary and the other life he might have had? Had Ivy lived, this could very well have been his life, only with a different woman and a different boy. Savannah swallowed, pushing the thought away, trying to bury it before it wormed its way back to the forefront of her mind.
She wanted to enjoy this moment, Jacob’s moment and not dwell on painful thoughts; like the guilt she sometimes felt for being lucky enough to have Tobias, knowing that he had once belonged to someone else. Watching him as he smiled through it all, she was none the wiser as to what he really felt inside. Slowly, she reached out for his hand, covering it with her own.
“You’re Jacob’s mom?” A woman to her left asked her. Savannah didn’t recognize her and the woman elaborated. “I wasn’t sure until I saw you take his photo. I’m Dean’s mom, Cindy.”
Savannah vaguely recollected Jacob mentioning the name. “It’s nice to meet you,” the woman whispered. She looked at Tobias. “Is that your husband?”
“No,” Savannah replied and turned her attention back towards the front of the hall. Henry Carson got up to receive his award and his father cheered loudly—the only parent to have done so—before getting a stern look from the teachers’ row.
Jacob’s class members walked away and sat back down again. It had lasted no more than an hour and at the end the principal closed the ceremony and wished them all a good Easter break. As soon as it ended, parents stood up and started to follow the children as they filed out of the hall. She and Tobias also started to leave and she saw Jacob looking at them. She pulled her hand away from Tobias’s and waved back. There was a time and place for her son to find out about her and Tobias and this wasn’t it. He waved as if he’d won a ticket to Disneyland before soon disappearing from view.
“Shall we go?” Tobias asked, placing his hand on the small of her back. She nodded.
“Savannah?” She turned and saw Lenny’s mom behind her.
“Julia.” The two women hugged briefly.
“The boys did well, didn’t they?” Savannah remarked as they stepped to the side, out of the way of the outgoing parents who suddenly seemed in a rush to leave. Lenny had also received an award for being a good citizen.
“They certainly did.” Lenny’s mother replied. “I’m so proud of them. Jacob did well settling into a new school and being a model student.” She held her hand against her chest, her gaze darting to Tobias who stood and smiled politely by her side. “And this is—?”
“This…” Savannah turned to Tobias. “This is Tobias Stone.”
“We certainly know who you are, Mr. Stone.” Lenny’s mother flashed him her brightest smile as she moved her bangs out of her eyes. “It’s great to meet you.” She gave Savannah a why-didn’t-you-tell-me stare. “What a treat for Jacob!”
“Jacob asked me,” Tobias replied. “And it was an honor to watch him collect his award.” Savannah’s attention diverted as she caught sight of Henry Carson’s parents eyeing them like hungry hyenas. The couple sauntered past them, looking straight ahead.
“Would you ladies excuse me?” Tobias gave her an apologetic glance as he fished his cell out of his pocket. He gave Lenny’s mom a smile that would have made her toes curl. Savannah couldn’t believe it when the woman’s face turned pink.
“Savannah?” Julia asked, her eyebrows lifting. “I had no idea you were with him! Why in god’s name didn’t you say something before? How come nobody knows? News like this doesn’t stay quiet for long.”
Savannah put her finger to her lips. She had no excuse, at least no excuse that Julia would understand. After all, who else would keep a relationship with someone like Tobias a secret? “It’s a relatively new development,” she mumbled, tucking her hair behind her ears.
“We need to meet for coffee.”
“I’m working,” Savannah replied.
“Let’s get the boys together one weekend, then.”
“That’s a great idea,” Savannah replied, and started to move out towards the main doors.
“I’ll call you!” Lenny’s mother shouted.
Tobias was still on his cell when she walked out. He grabbed her hand as soon as she got near and she didn’t try to wrestle it away.
Chapter 8
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He asked.
“No. It wasn’t.”
“Easier letting people know, don’t you think?” Tobias placed his hand on her thigh as Morris drove away.
“People were staring.”
“You’re beautiful. Why wouldn’t they stare?”
“You charmer,” she replied, shaking her head. “They were staring at you.”
“Were they?” He hadn’t been paying much attention to anyone else. He’d been busy looking out for Jacob, h
ad wanted to see the boy’s face and reaction when he saw that Tobias had come.
“You must be used to it.”
“I must be.” Tobias replied. “What made you take my hand back there, towards the end? I thought you didn’t want to draw attention to us as a couple?”
“It’s getting harder to do that.” She rested her head against his shoulder. “The moment you turned up at the school, there was no other conclusion for them to draw. Maybe subconsciously I want everyone to know, so we can go about living our lives.”
He liked her reasoning. “Maybe.”
“I’d like to tell Jacob soon, but I’m not sure when it would be the right time.” She lifted her head sharply. “Jacob can’t keep a secret and he’ll let it slip to my parents.”
Tobias grabbed his moment to press the idea home. “Would it be so bad for them to find out? Think about it, Savannah. You could see me in the evenings without having to lie to them. We could even go away.”
“Let me think about it some more.”
“Okay.” He kissed her on the lips, knowing that their pretense would begin again as soon as they walked into the office. “Thanks for letting me come today.”
“Thanks for coming. It meant a lot to Jacob that you did. Was it difficult for you—being there?”
His eyebrows pushed together. “Why would it be?” He was happy to have been asked. “I was so proud of him.”
“It’s just that I wondered if it might remind you of Zachary,” she said in a quiet voice. The thought had occurred to him when they’d been sitting in the school hall and he’d seen the rows of children sitting obediently. For a moment he wondered what it might have been like if he’d come to Zachary’s school. But then he’d seen Jacob, and the thought had floated away as easily as it had come to him. “I was more sad when Jacob first asked me to come, that time in the park. I went home that evening and thought how different my life might have been if Ivy and Zachary were still alive.” Savannah looked at him with sad eyes. “But thinking about it isn’t going to change a thing,” he told her. “I’ve accepted it and I’m moving on.” Now that he had met this woman perhaps he had another chance at finding happiness.
She said nothing.
“Don’t be sad,” he cautioned. “It doesn’t make much sense to expect to be happy if I think about the past. We have to be grateful for all our blessings, for what we have, and right now, I’ve got you and Jacob. I do, don’t I—have you and Jacob?”
She smiled. “You do.”
When the car stopped outside the Stone Building, Morris turned the engine off and waited quietly, almost invisibly, as if he was a part of the seat. “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” she said, looking out of the tinted windows. “What if someone sees you and me get out together?”
“Would it make you feel better if I got out and Morris drove you around the block and dropped you somewhere close by?”
She gave him a grateful look. “Morris, would you please drop Ms. Page around the block?”
~~
She stared at the conglomeration of people lurking near the elevator bank as she got out. Trust her luck to walk straight into a group of managers.
“Hey,” Briony gave her a welcoming nod. “How was it?”
“Good,” she replied, nodding at Matthias who stood by her side.
“Have you seen Tobias?” He asked. Savannah didn’t know whether to shake her head and lie or hide her face.
“I’ve only just got here,” she blubbered, thankful that Morris had dropped her around the block thus preventing her and Tobias from walking in together.
“Why are you all gathered around here?” Tobias asked, appearing from around the corner. He cast a dubious eye over the congregation of managers. Savannah was relieved to see that he avoided looking at her. “We thought you might have disappeared into your penthouse,” she heard Matthias say as she slipped away to her office.
About an hour later, Briony entered her office. “So?” she asked, pulling up a chair, as she usually did when she wanted to chat. She settled herself down and placed her folder on Savannah’s desk. “What’s the latest?” Priceless first words.
“Jacob got an award for being helpful.” Pride echoed in her words.
“I have yet to meet this boy wonder,” replied Briony.
“We should set something up in a few weeks’ time. My parents are coming down on Sunday for a few weeks so we’re going to be busy for a couple of weekends, but definitely, it’s about time you and Jacob met.”
“I should think so! I already feel as if I know him, from all the things I’ve heard about him,” Briony replied. She cleared her throat as if she was going to say something important.
When she didn’t, Savannah asked, “How was your meeting?”
“Boring. Maybe I shouldn’t say that,” she corrected herself. “I mean, it was perfectly fine, as far as these things go. Matthias had a couple of new ideas he want to discuss.” She rolled her eyes. “These men come back from their trips with a million things for us to do. It doesn’t seem fair.”
“I thought he was on vacation that second week?” She knew that Tobias had returned early from Hong Kong.
“I expect he was.” Briony replied, yawning. She was clearly not interested in discussing the matter further. “What’s going on with you?” Briony asked. There it was again, the humongous elephant in the room. It was obvious to Savannah that the rumors had reached a certain level and now needed confirmation. She wondered whether Tobias had inadvertently mentioned something.
“Nothing much,” Savannah replied, shaking her head for double impact. “I’m taking a few days off next week to show my parents around the city.”
“Just you?”
“Just me?” Savannah asked, wondering what her friend was getting at. “And Jacob.”
“And Jacob…” Briony said, squaring her shoulders, as if she was expecting more and when Savannah chose to remain quiet, “Nice necklace,” she commented, staring at the chain which lay over her blouse. Savannah usually hid it inside her clothes, especially when she was at work.
“Thanks,” she replied.
“If you want to do lunch or anything, you know, to talk about things,” Briony said, “you let me know.” She got up to leave and her brief visit surprised Savannah.
“I will.”
She stopped at the door and shook her head, as if she couldn’t keep it in any longer. “You need to know that Candace has been talking.” Nothing new there.
“And?”
“You know I don’t like gossip.”
But still. “What did she say?”
Briony breathed out loudly. “I’m just saying that if anything is going on, anywhere, with anyone, it needs to be denied or confirmed. That’s all. I just thought you should know.”
“Kind of vague, don’t you think?” Savannah asked, amused.
“We both know what a conniving little witch that woman can be.”
“Noted.” She really was running out of time.
~~
“We need to make a shopping list,” she told Jacob later that evening when she had finished clearing the dinner dishes. They needed to do a lot of grocery shopping now that her parents would soon be here. She had made plans for a lovely lunch for Easter Sunday.
“Shall I do it, Mommy?”
“Sure,” she said, giving him the notepad. She looked forward to deciphering his scribbles later. They would need ham, and some mashed potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, biscuits and asparagus. Maybe she would get some deviled eggs. She listed the items one by one and watched him concentrate.
“Are you looking forward to Grandma and Grandpa coming over?”
His eyes gleamed. “I can’t wait. How do you spell potatoes?” She told him, then waited. “We won’t be able to see Mr. Stone as much when they’re here.”
Jacob looked up. “Are his parents coming to see him?”
“They might be,” she replied. “I don’t know.”
“Grandma and G
randpa don’t really know Mr. Stone, Jacob, so let’s not talk about him when they’re here.”
He looked disappointed. “Can’t I show Grandpa my Marvel Quinjet?” It was the toy that Tobias had given him for Christmas. Her insides churned. Expecting Jacob not to talk about Tobias was futile. Her son was bound to mention Tobias at some point.
She tried again. “Sure, you can. It’s just that they might worry because they don’t know him, and we wouldn’t want them to worry about us, would we?”
“Why would they worry? Mr. Stone is so nice.”
She didn’t have an answer for him.
“What’s next?”
“Huh? Oh, broccoli.”
“B—r—ok…how do you spell it?”
She spelled it out for him and let the matter rest. All she could do was hope for the best and hope that out of sight meant out of mind as far as Jacob was concerned. It made her anxious about leaving her parents alone with Jacob while she was at work but she needed their help, and they seemed eager to give it.
There was nothing she could do except tell everyone the truth. Why was she so afraid of people finding out? Colt was in her past and he couldn’t get to her now. They were divorced and he’d shown no interest in getting to know Jacob. It was fear itself that kept her from moving on. Fear not just of Colt, but fear of getting in deeper with Tobias, of being vulnerable and opening up to him. Fear of getting hurt. Perhaps that’s all it really was and she was using Colt as an excuse to stop herself from moving forward.
She got up and realized she’d forgotten to put the detergent tablet in the dishwasher.
“What’s a gold digger, Mommy?” She turned around in shock to find Jacob embellishing the shopping list with doodles.
“Why?” Her insides hardened like ice.
“Henry Carson said you were a gold digger.” Her heart plunged to the ground. She crouched beside his chair. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier? Why didn’t you tell me as soon as I got home?”