“So … now what?”
She shrugged and sat up. “I’m sure you’re exhausted. I could let you get some rest.”
Caleb also shrugged. “You can hang out for a while if you want.”
He was tired and resting sounded divine, but he didn’t want to miss out on spending some time with Jan and getting to know her a bit. This could have been his only chance.
“Okay.” She patted the bed next to her. “Take a load off.”
Caleb’s stomach tingled, his palms started sweating. He stepped forward tentatively. Jan laughed. It was high-pitched and melodic, full of joy.
“I’m not going to bite you.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the smile fell from her lip. Her gaze darted to the wound on his arm.
“Sorry,” she whispered. She jumped to her feet. “Let me get something to cover that.” She left the room before he could say anything.
He rolled his eyes and sat heavily on the bed. Way to ruin that without saying a word. He wiped his hands down his face. Was she even going to come back? As soon as the thought traveled through his mind, she stepped back into the room with a roll of gauze and other medical supplies in her hand. She set them down on the bed and took a seat. She held out her hands, and Caleb extended his arm. She grimaced as she looked at his bite.
“Does it hurt?”
Her fingers were warm against his flesh, her hands soft. He stared at her long digits as they wrapped around his arm.
“Not too bad. It’s just a little tender.”
She ran her fingertips gently around the edge. The action tickled slightly and sent goosebumps up his arm.
As if it was second nature, Jan turned to the supplies she had brought and tore strips of gauze. She folded one into a square and squeezed antibiotic ointment out of a tube onto it, then placed it gently on his arm. She secured it in place with more gauze wrapped around his arm. Caleb’s gaze drifted from her hands to her face. Her lips turned down in a frown, her eyes glistened with tears. Her focus was intense on her job. Caleb sighed. He could only imagine how many times she had done this before—and how differently things turned out.
“Is this where you stayed …after …”
She nodded. “Yeah. Marjorie was really supportive. She’s taken in quite a few of us. Although, she’s getting to the point where she can’t take really young ones anymore.” Jan taped the gauze down and met Caleb’s gaze. “Thankfully, the need isn’t as great as it used to be, but I think that makes her lonely.”
“So you don’t stay here anymore?”
“No. Once I turned 18, they got me into my own apartment. That gets pretty lonely, too.” She smiled a small smile and pulled her hands into her lap. “What about you?”
“I still have a guardian. I’m not 18 yet.”
A bitter chuckle escaped Jan’s lips. “It’s funny, isn’t it?” She cocked her head to the side.
“What’s that?”
“That they think we still need a guardian. Without knowing your story, I have a feeling that you took care of yourself for quite a while before making it here. I’m sure the circumstances were much worse, much graver, much more dire. But here, they want life to go on as normal. To make us think that nothing ever changed.”
Her tone was knowing and slightly angry, like she had been through the exact same scenario, and Caleb didn’t doubt at all she had. Part of him was curious to know what happened to her, but the other part couldn’t deal with her pain.
She averted her gaze to the bed. “Well, enjoy it while you can. Life weighs you down quickly.” Her shoulders slumped. “Worse than it already has.” She sat in silence for a moment, then straightened up. “Do you think you’ll be able to help those that have turned? Bring them back to humanity?”
“I don’t know. I’m not even sure what I am.”
Jan reached forward and grabbed his hand. “Well, whatever you are, we’ll figure it out together. What do you need me to do?”
CHAPTER 18
Caleb tightened his grip on Jan’s hand. When was the last time someone had shown him this much compassion? And Matt didn’t count. Caleb wasn’t convinced he could trust Matt or that he wasn’t acting out of selfishness. There was just something about Jan that seemed so caring, so genuine. He couldn’t place what it was exactly, but he could feel it. He felt it when they had pizza the first time, and she said she had seen his favorite movies. It was weird, but he felt connected to her. Caleb had survived on his own, and he could continue to do so, but it was also nice to be with people. The more he thought about it, the more he realized the BZ—Lilah—had shown him compassion also. There was a gentleness about her, something very childlike. He remembered how pathetic she looked holding the stump where her arm had been ripped off and how she’d helped him to his feet after he’d collapsed. That caused him to shudder slightly. He thought about the regulars in their ghetto and how vacant their eyes were—how mindless their actions were. But Lilah was different. She had thoughts and could act on her own. And so could those RBZs that haunted the alleys. Was that his fate? Would he become one of them? He shuddered again.
“Are you all right?” Jan asked. She placed a hand on Caleb’s arm.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
She squeezed his arm. “None of us do. But that’s just life.”
Caleb shook his head. True, in a way, that was life. None of them knew exactly what would happen in the next hour, but he could make an educated guess what fate could befall her by taking on this risk of helping him. “I know that you could suffer the same fate as Rachel.”
Jan clicked her tongue and gently pushed his arm. “You still dwelling on that? I could also get struck by lightning or choke on pizza crust or fall down the stairs at work. You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.” She turned her gaze from him and pulled her hands into her lap.
Caleb’s hand chilled without her flesh to warm it. He wanted her hand back in his, but he didn’t have the confidence to reach for it. She also had a faraway look in her eye, as if she was lost in her thoughts. Her lips were pressed into a thin line; her eyes scrunched to narrow slits. She took long deep breaths and held them for a few seconds in between. Was she fighting back the urge to cry? Caleb reached forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. He was sure she was holding back tears. He’d seen the look many times before. It was the look of remembering the hard times and doing terrible things to survive. The look of remembering lost loved ones.
Jan cleared her throat and turned back to him. She grabbed both of his hands in hers and turned them so she could view his tattoos. “Why wings?”
Caleb felt exposed, as if she could see through the ink at the scars below. “To remind myself that one day I’ll get to fly away from here and be free.” He shrugged one shoulder. “I just don’t know if it will be with angels or devils.”
She rubbed her thumbs over the tattoos. Caleb cringed slightly, but he also enjoyed her touch.
“You still haven’t told me why the angel wing is on the left.”
“Not everyone has a good side. Even if we wish we did.”
Jan cocked her head to the side. “So I guess you think no matter what you’re doomed to be with devils or fallen angels. Maybe we all are. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of that we wish we didn’t have to do.” She turned his hands over and placed hers on top. “That doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person.” She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but then closed it and forced a smile. “It’s getting late. You need to tell me your plan so we can get this accomplished.”
Part of him really wanted to know what she had been about to say, but the other part knew it was something terrible, something dark, something to do with the undead, and that part of him was content not to hear it.
Caleb nodded. He relaxed at the change of topic. “I need you to hack through the security wall to get into the personnel files.”
Jan’s forced smile turned into a genui
ne one, and she giggled softly. “Oh, that’s it? I thought you wanted me to do something challenging.” Her shoulders slumped, and she pursed her lips. “There’s no way I can get through the system.”
“Sure there is. I wrote most of the code. I can get you through.”
“How? You can’t step foot into Zomtech.”
“We can do it over the phone. I can walk you through it that way.”
Jan straightened up, and her face brightened. “That just might work. Marjorie actually has a phone. I insisted on it when I lived here so I could make sure she was okay.” Her hope faltered slightly. “But they may be able to trace you here. It’ll probably take them a few days, but they’ll figure it out.”
“Then we’ll find a different phone. It’ll be fine.”
Jan shook her head. “There’s no time. The longer you stay in the city, the greater the risk of them finding you. Even if they trace the call here, Marjorie will have no idea what’s going on, so they won’t be able to get anything out of her. And, hopefully, you’ll be long gone by then.”
“Are you sure? They killed Rachel, and she wasn’t involved at all.”
Jan swallowed visibly and nodded. “Marjorie will be fine.”
An uneasy feeling settled over Caleb, but there wasn’t much choice. He had to have faith Jan was right and that Marjorie would be fine. He took a breath.
“Okay. It’s best to do it at the end of the day so you can leave immediately afterward. Do you have a thumb drive or disk you can put the info on?”
“Yeah. The scientists use flash drives to transfer huge data to us. That part is easy.”
“Good. Once you’re in, you can transfer all the data onto there and bring it to me.”
“Okay. Sure. We’ll meet at the pizza place. Then you’ll need to get out of Dodge.”
“I’ll need to see what’s in those files. It’s pointless to have the information if I don’t know what it says.”
“For safety’s sake, you should probably figure that out later.”
“And you should probably come with me. For safety’s sake.”
Jan nodded. “Yeah.” She averted her gaze to her lap. “Yeah.” The word was spoken barely above a whisper.
It was hard for Caleb to tell what emotion was tied to her word. Was it anger? Sadness? Disappointment? Did it matter? Either way, he needed to reassure her—and himself—everything was going to be all right. He was about to tell her they were going to be okay when she stood from the bed and strode to the door. Just before closing it, she turned to Caleb.
“I will call you at 4:30. Be ready.”
The door closed with a click. Crap! Should he have walked her out? Well, it was too late to worry about it now. Caleb wasn’t very good at reading girls, but even he could pick up on the hint Jan could show herself out.
Exhaustion settled over him. His eyes grew heavy. Caleb knew he needed rest. Things were going to get worse before they got better—if they got better. He laid back on the pillow and folded his hands over his stomach. He stared at the ceiling. Pain radiated through every muscle of his body but seemed to be heavily concentrated in his left shoulder. Smirking, he rubbed it gently with his right hand. What had he done? He ran through the most recent events. Oh, right. He slammed into the door of the Jeep after taking out the cop car. Man, he must have hit it pretty hard. The muscle was balled beneath his fingertips and tender to the touch. He stopped massaging his arm and placed his hand flat on his chest. His eyes were heavy. He desperately needed rest.
So many things can go wrong. So many people could be killed.
Or they could be saved.
You aren’t strong enough. You never have been. You have the scars that prove that.
Caleb slammed his hands into the mattress at his sides and gritted his teeth.
I can change things!
He rolled over and forced his eyes closed. The voice in the darkness kept whispering that he was going to fail, but Caleb did his best to ignore it.
* * * *
Caleb stood in front of the metal door and readjusted his grip on his gun. The sweat on his hands was making it difficult to hold the weapon upright. The pounding on the other side of the door grew in intensity as more undead joined the hunt. The hinges shuddered on the wall. They weren’t going to hold for much longer.
Caleb turned to his sister. Wait … sister? Was that right? Something about her presence seemed … off. His brain wouldn’t work for him to figure it out. Sweat streamed down the side of Nina’s face. She gnawed on her bottom lip, and her forehead was lined with worry. She held her gun in front of her, pointed at the door and ready to fire. She couldn’t have much ammo left. Maybe one or two shots. He was in the same boat.
A scraping echoed through the room, pulling Caleb’s attention back to the door. Chunks of plaster fell from the wall as the screws securing the hinges to the wall were pushed out. Time was running out. Caleb widened his stance and tightened his grip on the gun. He wasn’t going down without taking a few of them with him.
The door exploded inward, bringing with it a blinding white light. It forced Caleb’s eyes shut and pushed him backward. His spine connected with the concrete floor, sending tendrils of pain through his ribs and down his legs. The air left his lungs, and he gulped it in greedily, but he couldn’t get enough to satiate his body. His head rolled backward. Moans and groans filled the space around him, growing fainter until the world was dipped in silence.
Sweet saltiness danced on Caleb’s tongue. The taste reminded him of chocolate that had been sprinkled with salt. It had been a long time since he experienced the taste of chocolate, and the flavor brought back memories of Halloween and birthday parties. Laughter from long ago echoed through his mind—moments of joy and happiness.
The flavor faded from his tongue as he swallowed. No! He wanted it back. Where had it come from? With difficulty, he pried open his eyes. It took them a moment to adjust to the brightness, but when they did, he realized he was on the ground, surrounded by zombies. They gnashed their teeth and gorged on the bloody flesh of a victim. Caleb’s heart slid into his throat. He didn’t want to look, but he did anyway. Nina lay beside him, her eyes wide, the life drained out of them. Blood streaked her cheeks in marks shaped like fingers.
Caleb raised his hands to his face. They were covered in the dark crimson liquid. It glistened and shone in the light, tempting him to take a taste. His mouth watered. One lick wouldn’t hurt him. With the tip of his tongue, he licked his middle finger. The salty chocolate taste once again graced the surface of his tongue. More. He needed more. He turned back to his sister, but she was no longer there. In her place was Jan. It didn’t matter. She would taste just as sweet. He leaned forward, mouth open, ready to tear out her throat.
* * * *
Caleb jerked awake. He sat up in bed, panting to catch his breath. Nausea settled over him, and he gagged as the thought of eating his sister or Jan ran through his mind. As his fear and repulsion eased, he swung his feet over the edge of the mattress. Unconsciously, his right thumb started rubbing the scar on his left wrist. The taste of chocolate and salt lingered on his tongue.
CHAPTER 19
Caleb was afraid to go back to sleep. When he closed his eyes, he saw Jan’s pale face, her eyes staring at him with both a look of horror and pleading, and the taste crept into his mouth. He tried to convince himself it was just stress from needing to hack into the computers, and he almost believed it. It wasn’t because he was one of them. He couldn’t be. There was no way. He was immune. The bite hadn’t changed him. Not like it had the others.
Are you sure? How do you know you’re the same person?
His throat tightened.
They wouldn’t kill you. They think you are one of them.
His breathing hitched, black dots danced in front of his eyes. He sat on the edge of the bed and lowered his chin to his chest, sucking in air between gritted teeth. He wasn’t one of them, but he had changed. What did it mean? Visions of his bloody hands
moving toward his mouth entered his mind, but he pushed them away. Standing from the bed, he paced his tiny room.
* * * *
“Tell me about your parents.”
Caleb shifted on the couch so he was leaning against the arm. “What do you want to know?”
She shrugged. “I don’t care. Anything. What’s something fun you used to do as a family?
He leaned back on the couch and averted his gaze toward the ceiling. Searching his memory banks, he looked for moments that didn’t involve death and destruction.
“Well …” he said slowly. “My dad and I used to have an annual fishing trip.” He averted his gaze to the doctor.
The psychiatrist smiled. “What did you do on this trip?”
“It was just us guys. My mom and sister stayed home. It was always the week before school started, and we had been doing it for as long as I can remember.” Caleb brought his gaze to his lap. A small smile crossed his lips as the memory become prominent in his mind. “We went to a friend’s cabin that was right on the lake. We’d get up with the sun every morning and fish until we were hungry. Then after eating, during the heat of the day, we’d either hike in the nearby woods or swim.” He chuckled softly. “I can’t believe we used to swim in that water. It was so scummy. Algae always lined the beaches, and there were clouds of bugs floating over it.” He shook his head. “But I wouldn’t have changed a moment of it.”
“Did you catch lots of fish?”
“Sometimes. But that wasn’t really the point. It was more for my dad and I to bond.”
“Did you?”
Caleb nodded. “Yeah. I could tell him anything. He was my best friend.”
The words caught in his throat as he said them. Sadness and loneliness flared in his chest at the thought that he would never be at the cabin with his dad again. In fact, the last time he had been there, he had tried to take his own life.
“What about your mom? Did you do anything special with her?”
Saving Humanity Series (Book 1): Humanity's Hope Page 17