She aches for my touch. The craving look in her eyes tells me all her dirty secrets. I rub her clit fervently, burying myself inside her deeply so I can feel her every shaky move. She throws her head back and an agonizingly lustful cry slips from her mouth. Then a wave of pleasure washes over her as she reaches the peak of her second orgasm. I feel it all, and it’s making her so tight and wet, I can’t help but plunge inside her as far as I can.
“You’re making me come,” I say, my cock pulsating from her orgasm.
One. Two. On the third thrust my cock bursts inside her. I groan loudly, gripping her ass tight as I shoot my load into her. I’m lost in ecstasy as I close my eyes and drop my hands to the hood of the car. Our bodies are still connected and we sit there for a while, just holding each other. With her arms wrapped around my neck she pulls me closer, letting me lean down onto her. It’s a hug that’s so filled with love it shoots straight to my heart. I’m still panting against her wet skin, rain falling down on us both, and yet she doesn’t seem to care. We’re naked, we just fucked out in the open on a fucking car, and it was so fucking hot. I’m still lying on top of her, connected in every way possible, my cock slowly spilling out of her. This was so utterly carnal … so what I needed.
We both needed this. Needed each other.
And shit, even after fucking her, I still haven’t had enough. I’ll never have enough.
CHAPTER 19
DARK PAST
Autumn
We spend the rest of the night holding each other, having more sex. Each time I think we’re too tired to continue, Hunter’s ready for another go. I don’t know how he does it, but I won’t resist. His cock has a maddening effect on me. I’m at a loss for words when he fingers me again and again until I’m so sated I can’t even walk anymore. We do it on the hood of the car, this time from behind, against the door, on the passenger seat of the car, and in the back. He has an insatiable appetite for me, his cock constantly hardening the moment I say something naughty. And each time he comes, he pushes in and out, making sure his come goes deep inside. He probably does it because he wants to mark his territory and claim me as his again. It makes me giggle a little.
I’m lying on top of him now, completely wasted. Drunk on love. He leaves little pecks on my head and softly caresses the back of my neck and my shoulders. The rain is still pounding down on the car, and we’re still in the middle of nowhere, but I don’t care anymore. I have him and that’s all I need right now.
We’re under a blanket that he found tucked in the back. It’s enough to keep us warm. Our steamy sex has us all hot, and even the windows are misty. Yep, with his sex drive he really is an animal. My animal.
Fiddling with the hair on his arm, I can’t stop wondering why he chose to fight for my mom. It’s a huge deal, and I feel like I haven’t thanked him enough.
“Thank you …” I whisper.
He looks down at me, cockily lifting one eyebrow. “For what?”
“For coming after me and, well, you know … this.” I blush.
The corner of his mouth quirks up into a smile. “No way in hell I would’ve let you go. It’s my fault you ran off anyway, so it’s my responsibility to fix it.”
“I was mad at first, and I totally get that you were defensive … I understand now, and I don’t want you to think I’m not proud of you. I am.”
His hand moves to my cheek and he strokes me softly.
“That’s all I ever want. For you to love me just the way I am. That’s all I ever ask.”
I smile at him and he kisses my forehead, his soft lips sending shivers down my spine the moment they make contact with my skin.
“I do. I love you. I get it now. You’re doing it because there’s no other way to make things work. To earn enough. And to help my mom. I don’t understand, though …”
“What don’t you understand?” he asks gently, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Why you would do that. I mean, it’s your money. You earned it fair and square.”
“And I get to spend it however I like,” he says, shrugging. “If I have to fight, I’d rather fight for a good cause. Your mom can’t fight for herself, so I’ll fight for her.”
I gaze at him in utter amazement. He is so freaking admirable … I can barely believe my ears.
“God … you’re amazing, you know that?”
He chuckles. “Hardly. I just realized that your family is important to you. I can tell you need your mom. I never needed my mom … I don’t even know what it feels like to have a real mom, which sucks. But seeing yours made me realize things are different in other families, and I don’t want you to have to live without her. I hate my family, but I want to protect yours. Anything to keep you from having to live through the same shit I did.”
He inhales and exhales loudly, his nostrils flaring.
It still flabbergasts me that he doesn’t have a family except for his brother, and that he hates his mom. The look on his face turns sour the moment he mentions her, and I wonder why. I want to know more about him, his past, and what happened to him that made him so afraid of losing people. Which in turn made him so afraid of losing me. He’s so protective … I need to know why.
“Why … Why do you hate your family?”
He briefly looks at me, but then sighs again, his smile disappearing.
“I don’t mean to be nosy,” I say. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, it’s okay,” he says. “I should tell you. You deserve to know.”
I swallow, waiting until he starts speaking again.
“My mother was a drug addict. Always was, probably still is. I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen her in years. It’s because of her that I have a learning disability. It’s because of her that I can’t study, because I can’t remember anything without writing it down. She took drugs when she was pregnant. First with Jessie, then with me.”
I gaze into his eyes as he tells his story, the weight of it all not really sinking in. It’s so unreal.
“I tried to love her, because she was my mom and tried to take care of us. She did try sometimes. Her addiction was just in the way of everything. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her while she was sober. She even took me with her to buy drugs all the time. I was often her busboy … other times they’d beat me up because she didn’t have enough money or they’d use me to threaten her.”
I gasp, but shut my mouth again, giving him room to talk.
“My brother and I took care of each other, mostly. My mom was only good to … bring in some money.” He clears his throat, and I can tell it’s because he finds it hard to talk about this. I think it’s courageous he’s finally telling me about his horrible childhood.
“I never met my father. I don’t even know who he is.”
“What happened to him?” I ask.
“Who knows? My mom told us they were occasional fuck buddies, and that she lost sight of him a long time ago, only shortly after I was born. I guess you could say he was more of a sperm donor than an actual father.”
“Oh …”
“Yep. Can’t blame me for hating my family, if that’s what you call a family.”
I tighten my hold on him and hug him. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know … I just …”
“I don’t want your pity. That’s not why I told you.” He grabs my arms and nudges me to look at him. “You wanted me to show you where I came from, and now you know. But don’t fucking look at me with pity. I can’t … I can’t deal with that,” he says, closing his eyes. “I need you to look up to me, so that at least someone is happy with who I am and that I’m here.”
Oh God. Now I finally understand. His mother and all that she’s done gives him the feeling like he’s unwanted in this world. Like he doesn’t matter. And he needs my approval, my love, to feel good again. To feel needed. To be happy.
I slowly plant my lips on his chest, leaving little pecks wherever I go. “I
love you, Hunter. I love you more than anything in this world. You mean everything to me. You make me deliriously happy. You make me feel beautiful. You make me feel free. And I am proud to call myself your girlfriend. I am proud that you are who you are. I will never let you down like that. Ever.”
A delicate, appreciative smile flashes on his face, but I catch it just in time. His eyes soften with compassion. “You don’t know what it means to me.”
He takes my hand and brings it to his lips, kissing the tips of my fingers, sending shocks through my body. Then he leans in and cups my face, drawing me closer, placing his lips on top of mine in a tender moment of passion.
We stay like this for a while, kissing each other until we’re both tired. Fighting and fucking in one day has taken its toll on the both of us. So in each other’s arms we drift off into a cozy sleep.
♥♥♥
Hunter
4 years ago
A scream in the middle of the night wakes me up dead cold. My eyes shoot open and I jump out of bed. I’d recognize that sound anywhere. It’s my mom. Something is wrong.
I run out of my room in my shorts, still half asleep, but the adrenaline coursing through my body keeps me running. When I reach her door, I kick it open and find her pinned to the bed, a fat bald guy fucking her from behind.
Her cries sever my heart.
I storm into the room and shout, “Get the fuck off her!”
Her head turns toward me, barely able to move as she’s squashed by the asshole. “Hunter!”
The guy lifts his head when he sees me, squinting, still fucking my mom. She’s trapped underneath him with no way out. Torn panties lie on the floor and her shirt is ripped to pieces.
I run to the bed and pull on his shoulders, trying to get him off her, but I’m not strong enough. His hand rises from the bed and he pushes me aside with ease, knocking me down to the floor. Tears spring into my eyes as the jerk gets off her half-naked body and pulls his pants back on. “You little fucker,” he says, kicking me in the shin.
Then he turns around and throws some money at the bed. Jessie’s at the door with a bat in his hands. The guy laughs out loud, grabs the bat with one hand, and jerks it from my brother’s hand, throwing it to the floor.
“What a waste of money,” he muses. And then he saunters out the front door, slamming it shut behind him. With clenched jaws, Jessie’s eyes shoot from us to the door and back again, probably contemplating whether or not to go after him.
I’m still in complete shock. I knew my mom was taking men home with her, but this was different … this was rape.
Whimpering, she slowly creeps up from the bed. She picks up the money, her eyes red and swollen. I get up from the floor while my brother walks toward my mom and grabs the money from her hand.
“Hey! Give that back,” she says.
“No. What’s wrong with you? He just raped you!”
She frowns, sobbing. “I need it.”
My brother walks out the door and throws the money in the secret pot we’ve been hiding from her. The moment she gets her hands on any of it she’ll spend it on drugs. I know he’ll do anything to prevent that from happening again.
“Mom, are you all right?” I ask.
“I’m fine,” she snaps. “Just a little … roughed up.”
“Did he hurt you?”
She shrugs. “Like it matters.”
I hate that she throws her life away like that. Like it means nothing to her.
She gets up from the bed, her legs still wobbly, and I hand her some clean clothes to put on while I look away. After that, she immediately leaves the room, her eyes still blurry and her pupils dilated. She’s weak. Weak from all the drugs and alcohol.
And yet the first thing she does is reach for more.
Grabbing a little bag of coke and a bottle of wine from a stash she was hiding in the closet, she walks to the table and sits down, creating a fine line of coke in front of her. Before I have a chance to wipe it away, she’s already snorted it up.
“Stop!” I yell, but she won’t listen to me.
She’s so fucking high she doesn’t even know what’s she’s doing anymore.
“You just got fucking raped and the first thing you think about is getting high again?”
She grabs for the bottle, trying to get the cap off, but even that is too much trouble for her. I snatch the bag of coke from the table, and she squeals in reaction.
“No!”
I tuck the bag in my back pocket and grab the bottle of wine with the other, jerking it away from her. She refuses to let go, her face contorting as I try to take the only thing that makes her happy.
And then her hand comes down on my face without warning.
I freeze, grasping for my cheek. She hit me. She fucking hit me. All because I try to protect her from herself.
My mom snatches the bottle from my hand and turns around, but my brother is right in front of her. His jaw is clenched, and I can tell he’s seething.
“Get. Out,” he hisses.
“No.” She turns around toward me again, but I just stare her down. “Give me the cocaine.”
“Fuck, no.”
“Get. Out. Now,” Jessie growls.
Her eyes start to get watery as she puts the bottle down on the table. “I’m trying to take care of you guys.”
“With drugs and alcohol?” Jessie snaps, slamming his fist on the table.
“I can’t help it. But I am trying to bring in enough money so we can live.”
“By letting yourself be raped?” he says through gritted teeth.
“He wasn’t … he just wanted more than I was offering.”
“He was! You’re defending him now?” How can she say that? Is it all because of the drugs? She wants them so badly she’d let someone abuse her. “Just because you let him in, doesn’t mean he can just take whatever he wants. And neither can you,” I snap, finally coming to my senses again. “I’m sick and tired of this.”
“But you don’t understand …” she murmurs, holding up her hand in an attempt to make things better, but I’m not buying.
“We understand enough. We gave you plenty of time and opportunities to redeem yourself, yet you keep fucking it up. You don’t give a shit about us. Not your life, nor ours. All you care about is your fucking coke. I’m done. I’m fucking done with it.”
“What?” she says, fear settling on her face.
“You heard me. This is done. Over. You put your hands on him again, and I’ll fucking put you to sleep myself,” Jessie says, pointing at me.
“But―”
“I’m not saying it again. Get out,” Jessie says, his stance rigid, his face unmoving.
My mother falls apart.
Tears flow over her bony cheeks, her chapped lips barely moving as she speaks. “No …”
“Get out!” Jessie pushes her toward the door. She almost trips over a chair, but regains her posture just in time. “And take your shit with you!” He throws a purse at her.
The look on her face breaks me. Pure and utter misery.
“Get the fuck out and don’t ever show your face here again!” Jessie yells as she turns around and runs out the door.
♥♥♥
Present
I shoot up from the car seat, my head hitting the roof of the car as I instantly wake up. I break out in a sweat. Terror. Pain. Agony. Hurt. My heart is filled with emotions I can’t place, but as I look around I realize it was only a nightmare. A nightmare about my past. Seeing my history play out in front of me like that makes me feel so powerless. No matter how I struggle I can never get that feeling out of my chest that I should’ve done something. That I could’ve saved her from herself.
Instead, me and my brother kicked her out. Or … he did. I’m not sure if it was the right thing to do, but it was better for our survival, that’s for sure. I hate her, but at the same time I wonder how she’s doing. If she’s stopped doing drugs. Probably not, but I can always dream.
I wish I
knew what it’s like to have a real mother who’s there for you. Someone my Leafy has and can’t bear to lose.
I caress her cheek as she lies on my chest, a cute wheeze coming from her nose. Looking at her gives me peace of mind. My past was a fucked-up mess, but she’s the light of my life. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m not planning on ever letting that go.
I wrap my arms around her and smell her hair. I will protect her with everything I have. She’s my family now, just like my brother is. And if she wants her family in her life, then so do I, and I’ll make sure it happens.
CHAPTER 20
CHANGES
Autumn
Three weeks later
I haven’t talked to my dad since our blowout. I’m thinking about calling him, but I don’t want this fight to erupt again. I wish we could just put it all behind us and focus on the future, but I know my dad isn’t capable of letting this go so easily. I don’t know what I should do, so I’ve been waiting and waiting, pondering it again and again.
All is well at school. I’m finally getting used to the idea of Hunter being off fighting somewhere while I’m here, studying. It took me a while to adjust to the fact that he’s gone, but I have trust in him now that I know why he’s doing it. I feel like I owe it to him, and I do. I give him my full support, knowing that his heart is in the right place.
However, I’ve been feeling so off lately. Evie has been having a lot of fun with her girlfriend Amber, going to parties with her, which she normally never does. I don’t want to feel this way, but I’m a bit jealous. It’s selfish, and I hate myself for it. Maybe I should just go with them, because they’re going tonight, and I want to remain a part of her life. Besides … I guess a little partying wouldn’t hurt me, I mean, I went to two parties with Hunter before, and those were probably way worse than what she’s going to. I want to be a little more loosened up and appreciate college life. Be courageous.
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