by Parker, Ali
The thing about shared truths, or even similar hurts, was that it could easily affect the way you looked at someone or thought about them. Being damaged goods didn’t go away just because the other person was damaged too. Sometimes the combined damage was just too extensive, the need to try and fix or numb too consuming to leave space for something as arbitrary as lust or attraction.
Other times still, the need to drown the pain in sex just took over. It wasn’t so much about wanting the other person as it was about silencing the voices in your head, drowning out your own memories and quieting your own mind.
I’d been on the receiving end on all of the above, and several different combinations of those reactions. With Will, though, it didn’t feel like any of them. It really did feel like nothing had changed between us, except that we now had a deeper understanding about who the other was. And that felt too damn good.
“Okay, so we’ve covered the basics and the past drama, how about right now?” Even though I’d learned a lot about Will today, I found myself wanting to know more.
“Right now?” He lifted his free hand to his chin and scraped his thumb and forefinger over it. “What about right now?”
“You’re an electrician, right? Is that what you want to do with the rest of your life?”
Will nodded, his entire body perking up for the topic. His steps seemed suddenly lighter, his shoulders less tense as his lips pulled into a grin. “Absolutely. I love my job. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am, but I still want to keep going.”
“You’re passionate about it.” It wasn’t a question. It was pretty obvious to me that he really was.
Will nodded anyway. “I’m building up my reputation and making a name for myself. All I want is to make a success of my business.”
“I wish I had something I was that passionate about.” Although to be fair, I hadn’t really tried to find anything. It always kind of felt like what you were meant to do would find you. Besides, I really did prefer living for the moment I was in. “It’s admirable that you’ve found and are living your passion. Not many people really get to do that.”
Will cocked his head. “What about your right now, then?”
“The girls and I have gotten jobs close to the house. We’re just taking things slow, figuring it out as we go along.”
Waiting for him to tell me that we were still young and that there was no rush, I was surprised when he just shrugged. “Everything doesn’t have to be about the future. Figuring it out as you go along is fine too. There’s nothing wrong with living in the moment.”
I blinked, feeling a rush of affection for this guy who seemed to understand every facet of my life so much better than any stranger I’d ever met. “I could kiss you right now, Will Campton.”
He came to an abrupt stop beside me again, but this time he yanked on my hand to stop me too. “Why don’t you?”
“We’re in public.” It wasn’t really an excuse, given that public displays of affection weren’t exactly taboo, but… “If I did kiss you out here, I’m pretty sure some families would get a lot more than they’d bargained for.”
“Being in public didn’t stop you before.” There was an almost naughty glint in his eyes, his lips curling into a sexy smirk. “Are you going to let it stop you now?”
“Yes. I draw the line at exhibitionism in front of kids.”
Will’s eyes grew round, then he burst out laughing. “Good point. They’d be scarred for life.”
“The girls are at our place, but we could go to yours?” My teeth sank into my bottom lip as I waited for his answer. I’d just basically propositioned him, point-blank, and asked him to take me to his place.
Will released a heavy sigh, rubbing his hand through the hair at the back of his head before his eyes darted away from mine. “I would take you to my place, but you’d look at me differently if I did.”
“I don’t think that’s true at all.” After everything we’d told each other today, why would he think I would start looking at him differently now? If only he’d seen the place where I grew up or even the apartment I’d shared with the girls before we’d left New York, he’d know I wasn’t used to the lap of luxury.
I didn’t want to pry, though. Our emotions were raw enough as it was after the scrubbing we’d given them earlier. If he wasn’t ready to let me see his private space on the same day, that was fine.
I was about to tell him all about the shitty apartment, which had been our home for the last few years, when I felt a sharp prick in my back. A small yelping sound I wasn’t proud of rang out, prompting Will to frown at me before we were both turning.
A man stood there, dressed in a dark-red hoodie that cast most of his face into shadows. He was holding a small knife, which must have been what he’d prodded me with. He brandished it like it was a fucking machete. “Give me your money. All of it. Now.”
Will’s hand shot out to grab my wrist. He encircled it in an iron grip and pulled me behind him so fast I hadn’t even had time to try and resist. Not that I would have, but still.
The man must have focused on me before, obviously figuring I was an easier target than the tall, muscled guy with me. Perhaps he’d thought that threatening me would keep Will from turning the tables on him.
I still couldn’t see the man’s eyes, and now that I was hidden behind Will, I doubted I would get a good enough look at him to be able to give a description to the authorities anyway, but I did see his head tip back. As soon as he saw Will’s face, he gave a little jerk. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t stick around for another second, turning and running off. I stepped out from behind Will, raising a brow. “What the hell was that all about?”
“I have no idea.” His eyes were trained on the man’s back as he wound his way through the crowds on the main part of the beach, eventually disappearing. Will’s jaw was tight, his arms folding across his chest with bulging biceps. “I’m glad I was here, though. Guys like that would cut you up even after you’ve given them your money, just to show that they can.”
“I’m glad you were here too.” While I’d been thinking about it, I wouldn’t be bringing Valerie and Olive to this part of the beach when we came to the ice cream shop after all. We could just stick to the shop and tables around it.
We were all tough cookies, but I didn’t want to take unnecessary risks. My friends had been through enough. If I even told them about this, they’d freak out.
My heart was hammering—thundering—like a herd of wild horses now that it was starting to sink in what had almost happened. That had been a knife being stabbed into my back. Holy hell.
“We should get you home.” Will took my hand yet again, much more gently this time, and strode back to where he’d parked his truck. We’d finished our ice creams, but I threw away my napkin in the concrete trash can at the edge of the parking lot.
Will stopped next to me, his hand resting protectively on the small of my back for the second that I paused. He stayed at my side, eyes alertly scanning our surroundings until he closed the passenger door safely behind me.
Only relaxing when we were driving away from the beach, he put his hand on my thigh and chatted to me all the way back to the house. “Thanks for coming on that walk with me.”
“It was my pleasure.” Despite the incident with the knife, it had still been an enjoyable afternoon getting to know him. Pausing with my hand on his door handle, I turned in my seat to face him again. “Can I see you again?”
“I’ll make sure you do.” Will reached up, brushing some of the windblown strands of hair that had escaped my messy, post-shower bun out of my face and tucking them behind my ear. My breath caught at the tender look in his eyes, my gaze automatically dropping to those lips of his.
Instead of kissing my mouth, though, he brought his mouth to my cheek and planted the softest of kisses there. “See you soon, Heidi. I promise.”
Chapter 19
Will
All night, I tossed and t
urned. I had been expecting to after spending all damn day in that place, then I’d washed away all the old horrors from haunting my immediate memory by being with Heidi.
For a couple of hours, I’d thought I’d actually be getting some sleep. Only to have it all fucked up again by a single question and stupid, goddamn Roscoe.
The idiot obviously hadn’t been paying attention when I’d tried to teach him a lesson. A couple of months ago, I’d caught him pulling a similar trick to what he’d tried with us today.
The kid was only a year out of the system and was honing his craft as a petty thief and pickpocket. I’d tried to lure him to the light side, offered to let him work with me on a few jobs, but he’d refused.
After that, I’d told him to at least get rid of the damn hoodie if he insisted on making a living that way. Walking around on the beach in Florida wearing a thick jacket with the hood pulled up was like sending a fucking text message to every beat cop to keep a close eye on you. He might as well have a warning sign printed on his back. Caution: Thief inside.
I flopped onto my stomach, trying to fall asleep by burying my head in my pillow. Roscoe was a moron. If the kid kept going the way he was, it was only a matter of time before he ended up in jail. Prison even.
Whatever. I’d speak to him again the next time I ran into him, but I couldn’t be held responsible for his actions. I didn’t want him to get caught, though, so I’d give it my best. Maybe offer him a bit more money per job if he agreed to come work a legit job with me.
Aside from my worry about him, there was also the fact that he’d come this fucking close to letting Heidi know I was acquainted with a mini-knife-wielding delinquent. More than that, he’d almost let her know that he was afraid of me.
Me, who for all the world had looked like an aboveboard, honest electrician who was unarmed and out on a date.
Talk about making it fucking obvious that all was not as it seemed with me. I didn’t think Heidi suspected anything, though. I was pretty sure she’d believed me when I’d said I had no idea what that was about, even if it had only been partially true.
I really did have no idea why he’d targeted us, why he was back on that beach in that hoodie, or why he’d taken off like that. Either way, it was still partially true. By extension, that meant that it was also a lie. Like so many other parts of my life.
Therein lies my other reason for not being able to sleep: the lies. It killed me to know that she was trying to get to know me, but I was hiding a massive part of my life from her. Sure, it was quite literally the criminal side of my life I was hiding, but it was still a lie. One I wouldn’t be able to come clean about.
I was going to get out of that business, but I wasn’t yet, and that part of my life, while lengthy, would always have to be kept secret. I was sure I would get over having to keep it eventually, but I wasn’t there yet.
Having Roscoe and Heidi so close together today had been a collision between my past and what I wanted for my future that I hadn’t been prepared for. What I did know was that I was going to do my best to keep Heidi from that part of my life.
I flipped onto my back, folding my arms behind my head. The sky was already lightening outside, meaning I really hadn’t gotten a wink of fucking sleep, and my time to do it was nearly over. I couldn’t sleep, though, not with all that shit tumbling through my mind.
And then there had been that damn question. But we could go to yours?
That, above all else, was what was stealing my sleep. It had fucking killed me to have to say no, but I couldn’t bring her here.
The springs in my lumpy mattress were stabbing into my back, the spots where the paint was peeling off the walls shadowed in the low, early-morning light. Even if I couldn’t see much of my bedroom, it was still a damn shithole.
A woman like Heidi deserved a mansion with a California king-size bed and fresh fruit in the morning. No doubt if she ever saw my place, she’d lose interest in me faster than kids lost their virginity on fucking prom night.
It wasn’t that I thought she was shallow or some kind of spoiled princess. Maybe I had thought that she would be when I first met her, but I knew now that it wasn’t true. A girl like Heidi, though, she was used to at least a certain standard of living.
This was not it. This small one-bedroom hellhole with all the locks on the door and the musty smell that clung to the space no matter what I did. It was the fucking walls that smelled like that, I swore it.
As much as Heidi might like me, or like spending time with me at least, if I brought her here, she would see I wouldn’t be able to offer her much more than a quick orgasm in an old ride.
No, I couldn’t let that happen.
We’d only just met, and it wasn’t like I was getting ready to pop the question or anything—hell no—but I knew that I was eventually going to be able to offer her more than that. I had to keep believing I could, or else why was I working my butt off to get out of here?
I sure as shit wasn’t doing it just because. I was doing it because I wanted something better for myself in the future. I wanted to give myself a better damn future than the shitty hand fate had dealt me in the past.
I couldn’t stand the thought of Heidi seeing me as this. Thinking about me forevermore as that guy. The poor orphan who lived in a scummy dump.
No way. That wasn’t who I was. I wasn’t poor anymore, even though I was an orphan, who lived in a scummy dump.
As the sun broke free above the concrete jungle surrounding my apartment, I realized that I couldn’t do anything about the orphan bit, but she was one, too, so that didn’t matter so much.
What I could do was to change my living situation. I had enough money to buy a house in cash. A place I could take her to and be proud of for living there.
An hour later, I was showered and dressed, standing outside Rayce’s front door. He opened it up, his eyes red and still swollen from sleep. There were indents from his pillow running along the side of his scowling face. “What the fuck are you doing here at the butt-crack of dawn?”
“I need your help.”
Rayce yawned, nodding. “Sure, let me just get dressed and grab my bat.”
“It’s not that kind of help.” I wanted to roll my eyes, but considering the last favor I’d asked him for, it would have been unfair. “Go get dressed, I’ll make us some coffee.”
“Aye, aye, Captain,” Rayce said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I flipped him off as he sauntered away, but he just laughed. “Better make a strong coffee. I only just fell asleep a couple of hours ago.”
“I haven’t slept at all,” I countered, going into his kitchen and making the strongest coffee I could manage to rustle up.
Once I had both of our mugs ready to go, I carried them to the living room and fired up Rayce’s laptop. I logged into his guest account, though, he might as well just have named it “Will” given that I was the only one who used it and the only one who had the password.
Rayce finished showering and got dressed, coming out and planting his hands on the backrest of my chair. He bent over, peering at what I was doing. “Are those real estate listings?”
“Yep.”
Rounding the couch, he came to sit beside me and picked up his coffee before leaning over. “You do realize all the houses you’ve got open are in the expensive part of town, right?”
“Yep.”
“Wow, you’re a chatty one today, aren’t you?” He sipped his coffee. I felt him watching me click through the listings. “Quick question that might require a more than a one-word answer. How are you going to convince a realtor that you can afford these houses? You won’t qualify for a mortgage that big on your salary.”
“Which is why I don’t plan on taking one.” I narrowed the houses on the screen to the final three, then called the realtor, and set an appointment to view the properties first thing that morning.
Rayce and I killed the time until the appointments by talking shit and looking at some other places in more affordable nei
ghborhoods. I knew it would make more sense to invest in a house there, but goddamn it, I was tired of always being the reasonable, sensible one.
On the way to the first appointment, Rayce cocked his head and turned in the passenger seat. His eyes were narrow and his expression serious. “Why do you need a house all of a sudden? Weren’t we just discussing this the other day?”
I tightened my fingers on the steering wheel, inhaling and exhaling slowly. “I don’t want to bring a girl to my shithole of an apartment, okay? I’ve met someone that I’d really like to bring home, but there’s no way I’m bringing her there.”
“That’s some fucked up logic, brother,” Rayce argued, trying to talk me out of it. “Also, that’s what hotels are there for. Men have used hotels to fuck women they didn’t want to—or couldn’t—bring to their houses for years. If you want to really impress her, splurge on a suite. It’s still way cheaper than a house, and it makes you look good.”
“I don’t want to take her to a hotel, I want to take her to my home.” I knew I was being stubborn, but now that the idea was in my head, I couldn’t let it go.
For his part, Rayce kept trying to convince me not to buy a house all the way to the first house I might want to buy. The realtor was already there, eyeing us critically from the second we stepped foot out of the truck.
She was a prissy-looking chick, wearing a tight red power suit and a bun so severe it looked like she’d had a facelift. “Are you Mr. Campton?”
She frowned at me when I raised my hand, her lips pressing into a disapproving line. “I’m Justine Smith. I’m sorry to be so blunt, Mr. Campton, but did you look at the price of this listing before you made the appointment?”
My head reared back, and Rayce snorted beside me. “Women can be such dicks sometimes.”
Justine had clearly heard his comment, her nostrils flaring. “Excuse me? That’s terribly rude.”