by Staci Hart
“Bullshit. You had everything to do with it.”
And then I knew she didn’t know. This was about us leaving, and I relaxed by the smallest degree. “I don’t know why you have to blame everything on me. What the fuck did I ever do to you?”
She stepped around the table with her hands on her hips. “You really don’t get it, do you? Pretty Cory, so easy-going. Everybody just loves you, don’t they?” she mocked.
“Don’t be an asshole, Jade.”
“But it’s true, isn’t it? They don’t see you, not really. They want to worship you like you’re the queen bitch. Well, you’re not. I run this. Not you. But you’ve been challenging that for years.”
I shook my head, and a frustrated laugh burst out of me. “I haven’t been challenging anything. Being in charge is the last thing I want. And no one worships me, they respect me. Not the same thing. If you understood that, we wouldn’t be leaving.”
She fumed. “I don’t know what you did to convince them. There’s no way you’ll find jobs like what I had for you. No way you can pay for Jill’s school as a fucking bike messenger. What are you going to do, Cory?”
“I’m going to leave here and move on. Past that, it’s none of your fucking business. And as for the girls, you’ll have to take it up with them.”
“If you stay, they’ll stay,” she countered.
Rage rolled off me as I took a step toward her. “Why does it matter so much to you? Do you just need somebody to push around? You talk a big game, love to act like you don’t need us, but the second shit gets real, you’re back to this. Look at you. You’re practically begging.”
Morgan, Erin, and Cher stepped into the doorway, eyes bouncing between Jade and me.
Jade’s lip curled. “Fuck you, Cory.”
I took another step. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this, it’s that your choices define you. Good or bad. Right or wrong. You made your decisions, and now you have to deal with the consequences, just like the rest of us.”
“I just wanted the money, Cory. All you had to do was say yes and do the fucking job, and none of this would have happened.”
“Sure, we wouldn’t be leaving and you wouldn’t have threatened Jill, but we still would have gotten fucked over. You still would have pushed me to steal from Van, even though you knew I didn’t want to. But that’s the whole point. You wanted. It doesn’t matter what anyone else wants. Only you.”
Jade pointed at me, lip peeled back to bare her teeth. “You used to want the same thing. I don’t know what happened to you. We used to be on the same page. It used to be about the thrill. About the money. But now you’re this pious asshole, spewing bullshit all over everybody, playing the victim.” She mocked me with a whiny voice and flailing hands. “Oh, Jade’s so fucking mean. Boo-fucking-hoo. Everybody, feel so bad for me because I’m so goddamn oppressed.”
A tingle worked up my neck, into my cheeks, fists clenched by my sides at her taunting. “God, you’re so fucking clueless.”
She just kept going. “So now you’re all just going to leave? And do what? Live straight? Because you better bet your fucking ass that I’ll tell everyone I know not to work with you.”
“The only thing I want right now is to get the fuck away from you.”
“What if I said you couldn’t leave?” Her words were quiet, menacing enough that the hairs rose on my arms.
Tension whipped between us. “You should try that and see.”
Jade moved closer, and Morgan moved toward us. I put my hand up to stop her. It was my turn.
Anger rolled off Jade as she approached me, fueling my own. She had no right to be pissed, not after what she’d done. Every offense passed through my thoughts, pulling my wounds open wider. I wasn’t going to take shit from her. Not anymore. Never again.
She stopped a few feet in front of me, eyes narrowed. “You can’t leave.”
“And what, you’re going to force us to stay? I thought you said you didn’t need us.”
“I don’t need anybody.”
I shook my head. “You’re a walking contradiction, you know that? Why put up a fight if you don’t need us? Why do you give a fuck what we do?”
A flush crept up her neck, and her lips turned down a hair more. “Because, Cory. I made you. I made all of you.” She swept a hand. “I made this. It’s mine.”
“We’re not yours to own. Did you really think this would last forever? You didn’t think we would eventually want more out of life than hitting up electronics stores while you berated us on the regular? We already told you we were leaving. You even told us to go. Didn’t you believe us then?”
“I thought you were smarter than that.”
I laughed, the sound tight and bitter. “You thought we were bluffing? I mean, I knew you were delusional, but this is next-level.”
“Fuck you, Cory.” She spat the words at me like nails.
I stepped closer, my smile slipping away with my composure. “You fucked me over like it was nothing, had my sister stalked. You blackmailed me with her life. Her life, Jade. If I’d done the same with Jace, you would have killed me. You’re lucky you and I are different.”
Her voice was low. “Oh, I don’t know about that. We’re not so different, you and me. Two sides of the same coin.”
I glared at her. “We’re not the same, and we never were.”
“Not true. We’re more alike than you want to admit.”
Fury flashed through me, partly because she was right. “It’s over. You can’t crawl back after you shit all over everything and pretend like it didn’t happen. We’re leaving, and you’re not going to stop us.” My hands were shaking, and I knew if I didn’t walk away, I was going to hit her. And if I hit her, I didn’t know if I could stop.
I turned to pick up my box.
I felt her move before I saw her, a blur in my periphery as she lunged for me. I leaned back, narrowly avoiding her fist, and she lurched as her hand cut through the air. Her body moved past me from the force of her swing, and I twisted away. My hands slammed into her shoulder blades, sending her sprawling across the kitchen floor.
There was no thinking. I flew at her, climbed on top of her and backhanded her. She scrabbled against me, our arms tangled together as she scratched and shrieked, thrashed to try to buck me off. I was immovable. My fist closed, Van’s face in my mind as my knuckles connected with her cheek. Her words echoed in my ears as I hit her again. And again. My knuckles split with my heart, and rage flowed out, pumped through my blood.
Arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me off Jade as I kicked and screamed. I wanted my hands around her throat, wanted to squeeze until she disappeared. And I would have done it.
Part of me wished I had.
I strained against Morgan and Cher as they pinned my arms, pushed against Erin’s hands as she leaned against me. My eyes were on Jade. She propped herself up on her elbow, hair a gnarled mess, nose bloodied and lip split. She spit a gob of blood on the concrete and looked up, locking eyes with me as she wiped her nose with the back of her shaking hand.
“We are leaving,” I roared, “and you will let us go, or so help me God, I’ll come back here and fucking kill you.”
“It’s over, Jade,” Cher said from behind me.
“Say it!” I screamed.
Jade stiffened but never broke eye contact, just stared at me for a long time before she looked away. She spit again. “It’s over.” Her voice was raspy and thin.
Erin leaned back to look at me. “Go wait in the van, Cor.”
I barely heard her. I couldn’t look away from Jade, couldn’t comprehend anything outside my need to hurt her. All I wanted was to make her pay.
“Cory!”
I blinked and met her eyes.
“Go wait in the van,” she urged.
Leave. I have to leave. I nodded, and the arms and hands around me relaxed. Jade and I watched each other as Cher pulled me out the door and down the stairs, into the daylight and onto the sidewal
k. I sank onto the curb, heavy and cold, bloody hands shaking as I dropped my face into my palms, hoping to God that Jade would really let it go. For all of our sakes.
I LAY COCOONED IN my comforter the next morning, my eyes on the bare window of my new room. I’d woken to the unfamiliarity of a new place, boxes lining the bare walls, artwork propped against them. My life was a mess in more than a few ways, but leaving felt good. Knowing I could walk into the kitchen without seeing Jade, knowing I may never see her again — all of it was a comfort. Maybe I could let it go. Start over.
I rolled over onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. Wide beams ran across the room, interspersed with hanging lights. No pipes, no wires. I’d left them behind, along with my baggage. Abandoned it all with Jade, where it belonged. All except for Van. I’d carry the burden of what I’d done to him around with me forever.
My chest ached, though the hurt had burned down to embers. I’d done everything I could. Now I just had to live with the consequences.
I slipped out of bed and through the quiet loft, into the bright kitchen to dig through one of the many boxes on the counter for coffee filters, thinking through everything on my list for the day. Mostly, I’d be unpacking, although I’d be meeting Jill after school. It was time to tell her everything. I played over that speech, imagining her reaction, hoping she would still accept me when it was all said and done.
Three boxes later, my fingers grazed the crinkling plastic around the coffee filters, and I almost cheered. I pulled them out, but my smile fell when I realized I still didn’t have the actual coffee. I sighed and kept digging.
Erin walked in, yawning, black hair tossed.
“Hey,” I said over my shoulder.
“I slept like a million bucks, dude.” She stretched and sat down at the table. “You?”
I hit the end of the box I was on and moved to one at the table. “So good. Being away from her … I don’t know. It feels fresh.”
“I know what you mean. I forgot how much I fucking hate moving though.”
I laughed into the box of random kitchen shit.
Morgan blew into the room, phone in hand, looking bedraggled and wired with Cher in her wake. “Guys, Sammy and Trevor got arrested.”
Erin’s eyes went wide. “For real?”
Morgan nodded. “I’ve been watching the news and checking police blotters for word. There’s an article in the Times. Check it out.”
She handed me the phone, and I read the article aloud. “Trevor Vargas and Samuel Paulson were arrested and charged with grand larceny after police discovered a warehouse containing stolen property when responding to a fire department request for backup. Both men are being held without bail at the Manhattan Detention Complex.” I set her phone down on the table. “Do you think they’ll come after us?”
Morgan picked up her phone and flipped it around in her hand. “I don’t know. They’re at the top of their ring … they run their whole operation and deal with other fences as individuals, if what Jace and Jade say is true. They might go after Jace and Jade, but what could they really do? They’re in jail, and it sounds like they’re not getting out. They’re not big enough to orchestrate a takedown from prison.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It feels too easy. What if they send someone after Jade and Jace? Because if anyone approaches them with even a hint of a threat, they’ll rat me out in a second.”
Morgan folded her arms. “We need to just bust them too.”
“No. I’m over it. I’m done.”
She snorted. “I don’t know how. I’m not over it, and it didn’t even happen to me.” She flopped down into a chair. “Seriously, it would be so easy. We just crawl back to her for another job and bam, set her up. She’d never see it coming because she’s such a megalomaniac. She’d buy it without a second thought.”
“It’s just not worth it, Morgan. I feel like we’ve pressed our luck enough times to keep putting ourselves at risk.”
“But what about Jill? Do you really think Jade’s going to leave her alone? She doesn’t let anything go, Cory. I don’t think she’s going to start now, not after everything that’s happened.”
Dread twisted through me, but I shook it off. “She’d better drop it. I’d like to think that she knows better than to push me, at this point.”
“Me too, but Jade never learns,” Morgan said with the shake of her head.
“I’ll take my chances. It’s possible that she may never find out that we stole the painting back, and if she does, I’ll deal with that when it happens.”
“But—”
“No, Morgan. Just drop it, okay?”
She sighed. “Fine. Did you guys delete your numbers yet?”
I nodded. “I burned all the fake numbers and old texts in my app. She hasn’t tried texting my real number yet.”
“Same,” Cher added, and Erin nodded.
“Good. We should run tonight to celebrate escaping the clutches of the beast.”
Cher stretched. “Ugh, that doesn’t sound like a celebration. I’m exhausted.”
Erin yawned again. “Agreed. Let’s start with coffee, yeah?”
I snorted. “Good luck finding it.”
She rolled her eyes as she stood and pulled it out of the first box she came to. “Please.”
Cher got up. “We need bacon.”
Morgan chuckled and turned to me, dropping her voice. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
She looked me over. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
She nodded. “Well, if you change your mind …”
I tried to smile. “Thanks, Morgan. I’ll run with you tonight. We’ll ditch these losers and get high.”
Morgan grinned. “The higher the better. Let’s hit Midtown, if you’re looking for a view.”
“Deal,” I answered with a smile.
We chatted easily through breakfast, though my mind drifted to Jill, to Jade, to Van, around and around, spinning faster when I retreated to my room to empty boxes, a sad substitute for emptying my cluttered mind.
I watched Jill from across the table at Genie’s that afternoon, malts melting and untouched between us. She was surprisingly calm, considering what I’d just told her.
She sat quietly, watching me. “Stealing?”
I nodded.
“With Jade and Erin?”
“And Cher and Morgan. Yes.”
She shook her head. “What the hell, Cory.”
I took a breath, still nervous, even though she seemed calm. “You know we used to run in high school, but once we graduated, Jace sort of stumbled on the opportunity. It was too easy, too much money. I could take care of you, give you what I never had.”
“I feel like scum that you did this for me.”
I reached across the table for her hand. “Don’t. Helping you has been the only good thing about my life for a really long time. It’s the only thing I’m really proud of.”
Her eyes misted up, and she looked down at our hands. “How were you paying for school? What did you do with all the cash?”
“I have a safe deposit box for most of it, your college fund. For school, I use a prepaid credit card. It’s not as hard as you’d think to manage illegal cash. I have a bank account for my legit stuff, work, phone bill, though those are really the only things I use it for. Groceries and stuff.”
“Why even have a job?”
I shrugged and spun my straw in my malt. “I don’t know. I just get bored. I didn’t want to sit around all day and do nothing, and I didn’t want to depend on stealing either, I guess. We all have jobs, everyone but Jade and Jace.”
“I can’t wrap my brain around this. I mean, I’ve known the girls almost all my life, and I never imagined something like this, even though I knew something was up.” She fiddled with a cocktail napkin on the table, rolling the edges between her fingers. “What changed?”
“Jade’s been running things for a long time. You know that guy
I told you about?”
Jill raised an eyebrow. “The hot photographer?”
I chuckled through the burn in my chest. “Yeah. He’s rich, and Jade wanted me to steal from him.”
Her face tightened, brow drawn. “Tell me you said no.”
“I couldn’t refuse.”
“Why?” The word was an accusation.
I took a breath. “Because she threatened me.”
Jill gaped, shaking her head, her voice hard. “And you backed down? I somehow can’t believe you’d do that.”
I nodded. “The stakes were too high.”
“What the hell could she have …” She met my eyes, and I saw the recognition behind them. Her voice was soft. “Oh. Me. She threatened me.”
My throat squeezed shut, and I tried to swallow. “There was no way around it, Jill. I had to do what she said, and then I had to walk away. Risking my own life … I don’t care about that. But I’m not going to take part in anything that puts you in danger.”
She was quiet for a moment. “What did she want you to do?”
I sat back in the booth. “He had an expensive painting. Jade and I stole it from him.”
“You told me you were righting a wrong.”
“I stole it back and returned it to him. Told him the truth. It didn’t go well.”
“You could have gone to jail.”
I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “Things definitely could have gone worse. But I think it’s over now. I just want to move on, you know?”
“So Jade’s done? She’s not still blackmailing you?”
“No. We cut ties with her and moved out, and I left her with a bloody nose and a few threats of my own. But if you see her, call me. If you ever see anything weird, anything, tell me. Okay?”
“All right.” She watched me for another moment. “What was she going to do to me?”
My lips pressed into a flat line, and I shook my head. “I’m not telling you that, Jilly.”
“I want to know.”
I leaned forward, laid my forearms on the table, and pinned her with a look. “You don’t. It won’t do any good. Just know that I won’t let anything happen to you.”