I didn’t say that I sometimes came and lay on Reno’s bed because I missed him, that his scent still lingered on his comforter. I didn’t say any of that, because Leon knew Reno was avoiding me, and I didn’t want to add humiliation to the pity radiating from his eyes. I glanced down again, chewing my lip, suddenly awkward around a guy I’d snuck behind the communal dumpster and swapped saliva with dozens of times.
“I was just heading home.” I thumbed in the direction of my trailer, as if he didn’t know where it was, as if it wasn’t yards away from his.
He nodded, clearing his throat.
Words I hadn’t planned on speaking tumbled from my lips. “He’s not coming back, is he?” We both knew I didn’t just mean to the trailer. He’s not coming back to me.
Leon looked away.
“Leon? Just tell me what’s going on. I need to know he’s okay.” I heard myself pleading, but I couldn’t stop it. Let him pity me.
Meeting my eyes with a severe lack of enthusiasm, he sighed heavily. “He’s okay, Riley. He’s—” he broke off, his head slumping back as he ran a hand through his sandy hair, mussing it. “He’s okay.”
I struggled to curb the moisture gathering in my eyes, pressing my lips together while I inhaled through my nose.
“Okay. He’s with you though, right? Is he outside? Are you here for his stuff?”
His gaze skirted away, but not quickly enough to hide the flash of guilt that set a symphony of alarm bells ringing. “What? What is it?”
“Yeah, he’s with me.”
My narrowed gaze focused in on his face, then over his shoulder. My head craned to look beyond him. Looking for someone. “You’re not telling me something. Where is he?”
I took a step toward the door.
Huffing a resigned breath, Leon raised his hands, stalling my movements. His blue eyes pleaded with mine for leniency, understanding. Only I didn’t know what for. Yet.
“Look, Ri, he’s going through a tough time. He’s doing what he needs to do.”
Lead settled in my chest, pressing my heart down into my stomach. My voice was harsh. “And what is it he needs to do?” He didn’t answer with words, but guilt clung to his face like mold. “Why are you even here? Where is he?”
His hands landed on his hips, head shaking.
“I’ve got all night, Leon. You obviously came here for a reason? So, go ahead,” I said, flinging my arm out behind me with dramatic flair. “Don’t fucking mind me.”
He exhaled a lengthy sigh, his mouth twisting into a grimace. “It doesn’t matter. I didn’t know you’d be here, Ri.”
“What did you come here for, Leon?” I asked again, my voice quiet and tightly controlled, the eerie calm that came before a storm.
“Nothing. Look, I gotta get back.”
He went for the door. I pre-empted him, springing forward and blocking his path.
“Just fucking tell me! I haven’t heard from or seen him for almost two goddamn weeks. He’s acting like I don’t exist, and I don’t even know why! I don’t know what I’ve done wrong! What the hell could you tell me that could hurt more than that?” My voice escalated, desperation governing my emotions and seeping into my words.
He grabbed my flailing wrists, holding them still. “He’s at a party, okay? Some chicks we met down at the fight scene told us about a party. He’s... there.”
My brows sunk low over my eyes. “And why aren’t you there? With him? Where is it... this party?”
“He's not thinking straight right now, Ri, but I’m sober. One hundred percent sober, haven’t touched a drop. I’m looking out for him. I left him with Mack and the guys while I—” he broke off.
“Leon,” I growled.
“Fine! For fuck's sake, Ri!”
That sinking sensation in my stomach turned into a whirlpool, a giant vortex sucking my insides out of me. I swallowed, throat bone dry, my voice barely fighting through the ball of grief that had settled in my throat. I whispered, “Just tell me.”
“I came to grab condoms.”
“Condoms?” I blurted, frowning.
“Yeah, these chicks are all over us. None of us had any. Didn’t exactly go out with the intention of… well, anyway… wouldn’t trust any of those Richmond hoes. Fuck knows where they’ve been. This was the nearest place I could think to get some. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Heart pounding and unable to meet his eyes, I asked quietly, “Does Reno need them?”
He hesitated. It was all the answer I needed. Vomit worked its way up my throat and I gagged, heading blindly in the direction of the bathroom that seemed to take another piece of my heart every time I stumbled through the door. If I kept going like this, I’d walk away from this place completely empty.
Leon trudged behind me, grabbing my hair as I heaved over the toilet bowl.
“Shit, Ri. I didn’t...” His hand landed on my back, rubbing softly. “Shit.”
Shit. That was one word for it.
My boyfriend, who hadn’t confirmed if he still was that but had said he loved me once upon a time, was probably waiting for his best friend to bring him condoms so he could fuck a random girl he’d picked up a few hours ago.
Agony like I’d never known speared me, straight through all the important bits, heart, stomach... fucking soul.
Twenty-Three
Riley
Sitting on the bathroom floor, my back against the shower stall door and Leon hovering over me, I blew out a breath and let my arms drop to my sides.
“Ri, I know how that sounded, but it’s not as bad as you’re thinking,” Leon said.
I raised my brows, shooting him the best sardonic glare I could muster.
He sank down beside me, scrubbing his hands over his face. “The fuck did I say condoms for?”
“Because it’s the truth,” I muttered, wearily.
He twisted his head. “I’m a fucking idiot,” he said, berating himself.
“Don’t feel bad for telling me the truth, Le. It’s better I know now, right? It would have been nice if he’d ended things with me first, but if that’s what he wants—”
“That’s not what he wants,” he interjected, not a hint of doubt in his voice.
“What?” I asked, head furrowing as I shifted to look at him.
He shrugged. “He’s not into it, Riley. He’s going through the motions.”
I rubbed my fingers over my forehead, trying to make sense of what he was telling me. “I don’t know what to say. I think… I think that makes it worse.”
“Nah, it doesn’t.” Assured blue eyes snagged mine, holding me there. “You know, I always knew how he felt about you. Long before he ever told me, I knew. And when he finally did tell me, I asked him whether you were worth our friendship. He told me I wouldn’t like his answer. Not once in fifteen years had we fought over a chick, but he fought for you, Ri.”
My lids shuttered against the tide of emotion welling inside of me. A tight knot of pain formed in my gut. I let my head fall back and ran my fingernails through the loose strands of hair, resisting the urge to tug.
“Doesn’t matter now, does it?”
His firm hand caught mine, gripping onto it before giving my fingers a gentle squeeze. “He’s crazy about you, Ri. Always has been. He hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off you since he hit puberty. I used to see the way he looked at you and wonder why the fuck he held back. I mean, I wasn’t complaining, but I couldn’t figure him out. He’d bring you up in conversation, ask about you, where you were. Half the time I don’t think he even realized he was doing it.”
Warmth bloomed in my chest, and my throat worked overtime to voice my thoughts. “But he’s with someone else tonight.”
Leon lowered his gaze, dropping his chin to rest on his bent knees. “Whatever stopped him from making his move back then, Ri, didn’t change the way he felt about you. My point is, he still looks at you the same way, still talks about you, asks about you, without knowing it. You’re in here.” He raised t
wo fingers and tapped them against his temple. Then he lowered them, spreading his hand out over his heart and bringing his eyes back to mine before adding softly, “And here. You always have been.”
My breath caught, warm moisture pricking my lids as my heart thundered behind my ribs. I couldn’t form words.
Using his palms, Leon pushed himself to his feet and stood, towering over me. His steady stare bore into mine.
“I shouldn’t have stood between you two. I acted like an asshole last year. I never apologized for that.”
I offered him a weak smile, my brain struggling to function. “Don’t worry about it.”
He thrust his arm out, offering his hand. Clutching it, I let him haul me up from the floor. He chucked my chin with his thumb and forefinger before mussing my hair a little.
“I love you, Ri. But not the way he does. And I think that might be because you never looked at me the way you look at him.”
My head fell forward, water tracking from my eyes. “I want to believe you, but he’s pushing me away.”
Leon sighed heavily. “He lost his brother and his dad a few weeks ago. They were the only family he had left. He let a bunch of guys kick the shit out of him just so he wouldn’t have to think about it or feel any of it. If you ask me, he’s doing the same thing right now. He’s scared because he feels too much. So, he’s trying to convince himself he doesn’t. Because then he won’t have to lose you, too.”
I frowned up at him. “But I’m right here. Waiting for him.”
His hands swiped over my cheeks briefly, and he narrowed his eyes on me. “You ever think maybe you should stop waiting? Go to him?”
Indignation burned through me. My fingers curled into my palms as my heart sped. “I did!” I said through clenched teeth. “I went to him. And both times he walked away. He left me.”
Leon shook his head. “And you let him.”
My mouth shot open, ready to deny it, to tell him he was an insensitive bastard who knew less than nothing. Then it hit me.
I’d hounded him with phone calls I knew he wouldn’t answer. Bombarded him with messages I knew he wouldn’t reply to. Stayed at his place, knowing he wouldn’t be coming back. I’d only physically gone to him twice since the funeral. I’d convinced myself it was better to wait for him to come to me because I didn’t want to push him, but really it was because I had needed that reassurance, that guarantee that I wouldn’t face his rejection. I’d been thinking about my needs. How hadn’t it occurred to me that he might have needed that from me? That he might have needed me to prove that I’d be there, not just say the words. The person who’d lost almost everyone that mattered had all but begged me to be the one who stayed. The times I’d gone to him, he'd needed me. He’d shown it in different ways, but he’d still shown it. He had needed me. Not some random hook-up who meant nothing to him. Me. And I’d stayed away, too afraid to hear him say he didn’t want me.
The thought of him with someone else made my stomach sick, but I’d left him alone in his grief. Too scared to fight for him, for us. And now I was in pain anyway, my heart breaking without him. We were a little lost, but I knew how I felt about him, and a few weeks ago he’d kissed me and told me he loved me with the entire school as a witness.
That hadn’t died. It couldn’t have. I wouldn’t let it.
Reno was worth it. We were worth it.
My head snapped up. “Where is he, Leon?”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but he narrowed them quickly and cleared his throat. “I’m not bringing you there, Ri. It’s a fucking cesspool. He’d kill me. Leave it for tonight. I’ll get him home. Come see him tomorrow.”
“Leon,” I grated.
“No fucking way, Ri, not doing it.” His brows drew down. “Don’t fucking look at me like that. You wouldn’t want to go there. It’s seedy as fuck.”
My lips parted to argue when a set of headlights lit up the window, drawing both of our heads around. My mom’s car. I flattened my mouth and dipped my head once in agreement.
“You okay?” Leon asked, bending low to reach my eyes.
I hiked one shoulder, pulling my lips up at one side.
His hands rubbed over my arms and he dropped a quick kiss to the top of my head. “I gotta get out of here, yeah?”
I let him go, watching from the open doorway until his tail lights faded from sight. Then I hauled ass over to the trailer three down and threw the door open.
My mom jumped, almost toppling over the heels she was busy taking off.
“Mom,” I barked as she gaped at me, “I need your car.”
Her brows came together. “Uhm, okay… keys are on the hook?”
There was a question in her voice. One I didn’t have time to answer.
Twenty-Four
Riley
“Good, you’re awake—”
“Are you dying?” a voice saturated with sleep asked.
“What? No.” I scrunched my face, my eyes trained intently on the road ahead of me.
“Is anyone dying?”
“No! I nee—”
“Did you get arrested and need bail money?”
“Jesus, no! Everyone’s good. Nobody’s incarcerated. What the hell is wrong with you? I’m call—”
“’Kay then. Love you. Bye-bye.”
“Don’t you—” She'd hung up! That little—I hit redial. “You hung up on me?”
She groaned. “Why in the hell are you calling me at this hour, woman?”
“Because…” I drew it out, my heart beating a mile a minute as I traversed the streets uneasily. I glanced down at my phone on speaker on the passenger seat cushion, and the car swerved.
Shit! I swung it back sharply. So, I had my license, but I probably shouldn’t honestly. I likely wouldn’t crash—providing I kept my eyes on the road. I drove like Miss Daisy rode shotgun.
“I’m driving to your place. I’ll be out front in about five minutes.” My eyes shifted to the speedometer. “Uh, make that ten. Maybe fifteen.”
“You’re speaking gibberish to me. It’s way too late, or early, for this crazy behaviour. Wait, you’re driving?”
Now I had her attention.
“Yep,” I proclaimed proudly, as a squirrel overtook me. Oh well. She didn’t need to know that. I applied a tiny bit more pressure to the gas. The squirrel jerked, then disappeared into the tree line. Well, that’s what you get for being a damned show off.
“Riley!!” Liss screeched for my attention, not for the first time by the sounds of it.
“Yes?” I asked, innocently.
“Why are you driving? More importantly, why are you driving here? And why am I being woken up at the ass crack of dawn?”
“Oh, calm down. It’s only one a.m., Grandma, and I’m coming to pick you up because we have a party to go to.”
Silence. Rustling. More silence. “Did you snap? Did you go crazy? Lose your marbles? That it?”
“Nope. Now, get up and get dressed. I’m getting the hang of this thing. I might be there in seven.”
“Seriously, I was sleeping like three minutes ago. Snoring, drool, dreams, the works. I can’t go to a party, you freakin’ lunatic. I look like an extra from The Walking Dead! Why would I go to a party?”
When I thought about why, my heart sank a little. Yeah, I had a newfound determination. And yes, I knew what I wanted now, that it was worth fighting through my fear, and the defenses Reno had erected. That didn’t mean the thought of what I might find there, what I might walk into, didn’t terrify me. But he was mine, and I would damn well convince him I wasn’t going anywhere.
“It’s in Richmond East,” I told Liss quietly, my voice heavy and sober, “with some fight scene crowd. Reno’s there. With a girl.”
She went quiet for a few drawn out seconds. “Give me five minutes.”
A breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding eased out of me. My lips formed a flat line of relief.
“You’ve got six,” I
said, and hung up. Then looked at the speedometer and grimaced. “... teen.”
I ignored the look of trepidation Liss wore as she lowered herself into the seat and secured the belt snugly around her waist. Neither of us said anything for the first few minutes as I drove the short distance out of town, my mind preoccupied with getting us to our destination without incident. When my eyes flickered briefly to Liss, it didn’t surprise me to see she harbored similar concerns. It would have been hard not to notice her white-knuckled grip on the handle, or the stiff way she held her frame, like her very life was in jeopardy.
Side eyeing her, I muttered, “You know, you could probably run faster than I’m driving. Plus, the roads are empty, like-wide-open-haven’t-seen-another-vehicle-the-entire-time-I’ve-been-driving empty. So, why the hell are you acting as if you’re about to croak?”
Without glancing my way, thumb nail wedged firmly between her front teeth, she said, “Trees, lots of trees. And street lamps. You could easily wrap this bad boy around one of those. Oh, and just FYI, we drive on the right side of the road in America. You know, in case you decided you might want to actually pick one lane and stick with it at any point during this delightful middle of the night road trip.”
Shooting a sharp glance in her direction, I grumbled, “I have remained within my lane at all times, thank you.”
She turned her head a fraction and arched a brow. Seeing an opportunity, I quickly twisted my face in horror and screeched, “Oh my God!” while swinging the car sharply to the left.
Liss’ face morphed into an expression of terror as she screamed, head swivelling back to front so quickly I worried she’d give herself whiplash. Righting the car smoothly, I looked through the window, a satisfied smirk playing over my lips.
Panting, one hand clutching her neck as if searching for a string of pearls, the other pushing into her chest like she was trying to force her heart back behind her rib cage, she turned on me. “You evil... I almost died there. I hope you know that!”
Untouchable: (Unstoppable - Book 1) (The Unstoppable Series) Page 11