More silence. I swallowed.
“Did you, uh, did you have a nice birthday? You know, as much as...” I trailed off, realizing what I was about to say. As much as you could after you woke up alone, as much as you could on your first birthday without your father and brother...
“Yeah,” he muttered, sparing me the most fleeting of glances as he stood. He made his way down the lower tiers. I bit the inside of my lip in frustration. The auditorium used to be for bands and theatre performances and such, maybe ten or more years ago, but it mostly sat empty now ever since the school buildings underwent an extensive remodel.
Unthinking, I snatched my bag and trailed after him, my footsteps carrying me at a far slower pace than his.
“Ren... would you just stop? Please?” I wasn’t sure that he would, but he did, his hands gripping his hips, his head down. Reaching him, I placed a firm hand on his forearm, my lungs protesting the second bout of physical exertion in less than thirty minutes. “We can’t even be friends now? Can’t talk to each other? Christ, you were inside me a few days ago!”
The whole situation shredded my insides, until it felt like everything swirled around inside of me, untethered. I felt untethered, ungrounded. Our relationship had always been dysfunctional, but we’d had one. Few days passed where we didn’t have some interaction, and I’d needed it. That was before I’d even realized I’d fallen for him. And now... nothing. In fact, this. It was worse than nothing. Moisture stung my lids and I bit out a curse, gritting my teeth. Dammit, I couldn’t do this again.
“No point making things harder.” It was that robot voice again, the one where a freaking cyborg asked a random human for directions. I couldn’t take it. This stilted, closed off Reno may as well have been an alien for all the resemblance he bore to the old, confident, cocky, teasing Reno.
My chin lifted, a bite of anger slashing through the ever-present pain and heartache.
“Make what harder? Cutting me completely out of your life? Pretending I don’t exist? Forgetting that you came to my trailer drunk and had sex with me? Ignoring the fact that I love you and I’m trying so fucking hard to be here for you!” My voice had risen with each heated word. I knew I was screeching by the end of my tirade, my hands fisting and chest heaving.
“Well, fucking stop!” he yelled, taking me aback. Shock registered in his eyes the exact moment it did in mine. He exhaled roughly, thrusting a hand up over his face then through his hair. Voice calmer, he said, “Just stop, Riley. Stop forcing your way into my life.” He stressed each word. Like he meant them.
My heart felt like it broke apart inside my chest. Actual physical pain bloomed. Like my ribs had cracked and the jagged edges pierced my insides. Lids flowing closed, I rocked my head from side to side and inhaled through my nose. I’d allowed him into my heart against my better judgement, and what did I get? A swift boot through it. I couldn’t begin to understand his pain, but I was standing here offering to share it, and he was throwing my every effort back in my face.
Opening narrowed eyes on him and refusing to curtail my acrimony, I said, “Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you forced your way into mine.”
I knew the anger would be short lived, and I’d regret lashing out at him when he was adrift in such turbulent waters. But I squared my shoulders, turned on my heel, and stormed away from him, feeling rudderless and empty.
My feet carried me forward without knowing the direction or destination. They just kept me moving, treading water until... I didn’t even know anymore.
He’d twisted me round in circles and then stepped back to watch the fallout.
Thirty
Reno
“You coming with?” Le asked.
I shook my head, spinning the cap on the bottle in my hand. Leon planted his ass down on my sofa. I felt rather than saw his head shift, his eyes landing on me.
“How long you planning on avoiding her?”
I stood and walked to the counter, setting the empty water bottle in the recycling.
“She’s messed up, Ren. Like, really hurting.”
He had no concept of the agony his words inflicted. I planted both palms flat on the surface of the countertop and squeezed my eyelids closed, fighting every single instinct I had. All I wanted to do was crush every bit of hurt and sadness clouding her gorgeous green eyes. But the fact was, I’d put them there. And I couldn’t achieve what I was trying to achieve without hurting her. Didn’t mean that seeing it and hearing about it didn’t kill me. What was the alternative? Do what I did last weekend? I’d cracked. I’d sat on that bench long after she’d left, and I hadn’t been able to erase the devastation on her face or the pain in her voice. They’d repeated on a loop in my mind until I’d wanted to smash my way through everything in my path. Numbing myself hadn’t helped, instead of making everything go away, the half bottle of whiskey had weakened my defenses. Her beautiful fucking face, those slim curves wrapped tight in a little black dress, had taken up every inch of space in my head. She’d been the only damn thing I’d wanted.
And I’d found myself outside her trailer, knocking on her door.
Thinking about that night wasn’t good for me. If I were being honest with myself, I’d say it scared the shit out of me. Staring down at her wavy blonde hair spread out over the pillow beneath me, her cheeks flushed and her trusting eyes gazing right into mine, feelings I thought I’d forced into submission had hit me square in the chest with the force of a sledgehammer. The thought of letting her go, of walking away and leaving her, had wrecked me. For a second, I’d thought about staying. So, I’d disconnected before she’d even stopped clenching around me. Then I’d brought up a fucking ten-inch thick wall and reinforced it with steel.
We didn’t have a future. There was no us. I had to remember that. I couldn’t keep slipping carelessly in and out of her life, muddying the waters and blurring the lines, just because I couldn’t control my dick. We both needed a clean break. Even if it had taken everything I had in me to walk out of that room.
Unimpressed by my lack of response, Leon pushed to his feet, his head shaking and his eyes speaking his displeasure better than any words could. “I’ll leave you to it, then?” He posed it as a question and hesitated, awaiting a response.
Face impassive, I obliged. “Yeah, sure.”
He exhaled through his nose, a clear snort of displeasure, before he turned and pulled the door open. “Yeah, sure man.”
My mouth opened, unplanned words spewing from my lips, “Le...”
He pivoted swiftly, brows raised. Mine drew together. I fucking knew I shouldn’t say it, but I was about to, anyway. “Watch out for her... yeah?”
The corners of his lips twitched briefly, like he knew I’d tried to stop myself, and couldn’t. Throwing me a quick salute, he dipped his head, eyes solemn when he replied, “Always.”
I didn’t know why the fuck his response had my hands fisting; the skin stretching taut over my knuckles. Or why I wanted to tear his face off. But I stood there, face blank, watching my best friend leave to go take care of my fucking girl, and all I knew was, I fucking hated it.
I was still stewing, trying to figure out what the hell my problem was, when I heard his phone ring through the open window.
“Yo? What!?”
My eyes narrowed at the change in his tone and I edged closer, my curiosity peaked. Leon stood motionless, phone pressed to his ear, his free hand landing on the back of his head.
“What the fuck is she doing there?” He dropped his hand, digging into his pocket for his keys and jogging for his car. “I’m on my way. You called Mack? Just tell him to meet me there.” He cursed, shut his phone off and flung the driver side door open.
“Le?” I called. His head lifted, blue eyes meeting my questioning ones. “What’s up?”
Wedging himself between the open door and the car, he gripped the edge of the frame. His other hand rested on the roof, playing with the keys in his grasp, as he weighed up the benefits of
telling me. We both knew he’d tell me. Resignation flashed in his gaze. Drawing his lips tight, he cocked his head.
“That was Liss. Riley’s wasted.”
I felt my chest tighten; my shoulders immediately stiffen. That was before he finished.
“She’s over at Baker's field.”
My jaw strained. I could tell by the look on his face I wouldn’t fucking like the next part.
“With half of Dalton’s fucking football team.”
I was moving before he got the words out, slamming the trailer door without bothering to lock it, and striding for Leon’s car. His forehead touched the roof of the car briefly and he muttered a fuck.
I threw the passenger door open and, as soon as his ass hit the leather, said, “Fucking drive.”
Dalton Academy. Otherwise known as the school for every rich, entitled prick in Richmond West. To say I felt uneasy was a massive fucking understatement. My knees bounced, fingers flexing. Christ, I’d have been less uptight if she were back in East side, slumming it with drug dealers and bare-knuckle fighters, which said a fucking lot about the character of those assholes from Dalton. These were guys who’d date rape a girl for daring to say no, because the word didn’t fucking apply to them. And the football Gods? Yeah... egos the size of the empire state building and wallets to match. Top it all off with the fact that Mommy and Daddy’s pockets happened to be deep enough to cover the cost of the average cop’s integrity. These guys did whatever the fuck they wanted, and they were fucking untouchable with it. Riley with those guys, drunk... my teeth ground until my jaw ached. If they’d fucking touched her...
Leon swung the car into a muddy verge, the back tires sliding. I was out and pounding a path through the trees before it came to a complete stop.
“Ren! Fuck dude, hold up!”
I didn’t. I sped toward the clearing. The dim orange glow of the bonfire flickered into view through the leaves.
“The fuck? You can’t run in there solo, dude! Goddammit, Ren! Argh... fucking great.” I heard his pace increase as he followed.
His argument made sense. I’d get my ass handed to me if I strolled in there holding nothing but my dick. That meant fuck all to me right now. Riley was there. I was here. I wanted her where I could see her, where I knew she was safe, and that would be as fucking far away from that bunch of morally bankrupt motherfuckers as possible. That was literally the only thought on my mind as I stormed toward a bunch of Dalton’s shitheads. Private school mama’s boys who, if you saw them alone or even two or three together, would piss in their pants and run in the other direction. Packed up like tonight, outnumbering us four to one? Yeah, they’d be ballsy as fuck.
“Oh, hell no!”
My eyes scanning the collection of bodies fanning out from the bonfire, I didn’t slow my gait or spare a glance as my entrance drew attention.
“You boys seen this shit? Looks like Claremont put all the trash out in our backyard tonight! Damn!”
My fists twitched. Fuck, I wanted to hurt him... Get Riley first. Fuck people up second.
“Ho, ho!” A second asshole hollered. “Dude, your ass needs to get the fuck back to that shithole town you call home. You fucking lost?”
This little bitch got inches from my face, fucking begging for a beat down. Lucky for him he had the money to fix his face after I rearranged it and shoved his shiny teeth down his throat. My fist lifted just as Le appeared in my peripheral and shoved the ugly blonde fuck, knocking him on his ass.
“Mack texted. Just pulled up,” he panted. He stopped to catch his breath, his eyes immediately shifting to locate Riley and Liss. This seemed to be a private gathering, but it was still early. I’d only clocked five, maybe six guys so far. It made me fucking crazy thinking how vulnerable Ri was right now. Le’s arm shot out as we rounded the fire, finger pointing. “There’s Lissa.”
My gaze darted in the direction he’d indicated. My legs kicked into action and my heart tried to fight its way through my fucking rib cage. Fuck, I didn’t need to see anything that would push me over the edge. I already knew I was skirting it. One semi-decent reason away from mauling someone to death. Since Brett and O died, it felt like a beast had taken up residence in my head, angry as fuck and looking for any excuse to get out. But if someone had put their hands on Riley, I wouldn’t need him. I’d kill them with my bare hands with a damn smile on my face, knowing that was all me.
It didn’t escape me that the thought of seeing some other guy touching her blasted a wave of pure panic and primal rage through me. The idea had acid settling in my gut, bile rising. I couldn’t handle that. Couldn’t even think about it without wanting to put my fist through someone. That was a reality I had no intention of dealing with. Not now. Not ever.
Rounding the other side of the fire in stride with Le, adrenaline pumping through me like a drug, my pulse kicked into goddamn overdrive when my eyes landed on her. And my knees tried to buckle. Fuck, she was beautiful. I was a goddamn volcano ready to blow, but the sight of her hit me like a sucker punch. Every-damn-time. I just wanted to get my hands on her. Controlling that impulse never got any easier.
“Maddox, the renovator,” the biggest cocksucker of them all drawled. “The fuck are you doing in my town?” Cool grey eyes observed my approach, but it was his arm I took issue with. The one draped around Riley’s shoulder. That had me grinding my teeth to dust and my vision growing hazy, turning blood red.
Riley’s blonde head shot up at the sound of my name, her glazed eyes finding me instantly. My heart fucking stopped. Her face lit up, eyes sparking, and her pink lips split into a wide grin, like she was happy as shit to see me. A split second later, they turned down and her eyes shadowed over as her whole face fell. It was fucking crushing. It damn near killed me to see how much I’d hurt her. The need to undo it was so fucking intense, I almost buckled under the weight of it. I wanted to carry her away from here and pretend like nothing could touch us. But I knew too much to fool myself. My eyes flicked back to dickhead number one.
“You value that throwing arm, Mateland, I suggest you fucking remove it right now.”
Craig Mateland. Star-fucking-Quarterback, about to get well and fucking acquainted with my fists. There was already bad blood between us. This topped it. He smirked, his head tilting to look down at Riley. I inhaled deeply through flared nostrils, my hands itching to pluck his fucking eyes from the sockets. Riley pushed up unsteadily, her skin-tight dress riding high on her thighs and her arms flailing for purchase as she wobbled on the skyscraper heels she'd worn to a damn field. I immediately lunged forward to catch her, as did Liss, but it was me her sharpened gaze snapped to, unfocused but aflame with anger and hurt. Her palm shot out, holding me off.
“I don’t need your help, Maddox. As you can see…” She waved her arm around clumsily, hitting herself in the eye. “I have new friends now.” My throat worked as I fought to control the effect her words had on me. “The kind that aren’t afraid to talk to me.”
Her words slurred, and that fact provided me with something else to focus on, something besides the evidence of how much I’d hurt her. My thoughts turned murderous, furious gaze slicing back to Mateland. “Did you fucking give her something?”
His lips kicked up as he got to his feet and raised both hands. I took a step forward, the veins in my neck bulging, and grabbed his shirt in my fist, twisting and tugging until we were nose to nose.
“Easy,” he said, laughing, full of bravado surrounded by his boys. “She came to us like that.”
Teeth bared, I sneered down at him. “The fuck. She. Did.”
Eyes swaying back to me, he shrugged like he didn’t give a fuck. “No need to drug a bitch when they show up begging for it, is there?”
My fist connected with his right eye. Three of his teammates jumped up, and then all hell broke loose. Le tackled one of them. Mateland rebounded and landed a blow to my stomach, doubling me over, and the other two fell on my back, taking me down to the ground. Riley screamed. Through
a set of legs, I saw her lunge forward, collapsing to her knees in the mud as Liss grabbed her from behind and tried hauling her away. Reaching back with an elbow, I launched it up with force until it connected with something that felt like a jaw. A body fell away followed by a groan. Le straddled someone on the ground, raining punches on their face. Feet came running. A boot connected with my kidney and I grimaced, sucking in a lungful of air, eyes still seeking Riley. I saw Mack racing for us, with Danny and Jason following behind. He got to Riley first, his brawny arms circling her and carting her away, passing her off to Jason as he yelled instructions. A fist made contact with the side of my face, sending my head spinning. My vision danced but my eyes held fast to Riley as Liss and Jason dragged her, kicking and screaming, from the field, her tear-streaked face straining back to me. Blows landed on me, head, back, sides. I could take a punch. And I needed Riley away before I could get in the game. Leon grappled with some big ugly bastard. Mack faced off against two guys, Danny another two, and then they were all throwing fists. These fuckers, though, had no idea what a real fight was.
I felt a blow to my jaw and shook my head, smiling as I spat blood on the ground. Pushing up a little, I shifted my lower leg and struck out hard, heel connecting with Mateland's ankle. He screamed and released me to clutch at his foot. Maneuvering into a kneeling position, I wrapped an arm around the leg of the second guy and hauled him forward until he was on his back. Sensing Mateland’s approach, I swung to my feet, fist already pulled back, and landed a solid blow to his face. His head snapped to the side, blood spraying from his nose. He went down hard, shoulder taking the full force of the impact with a crunch. When I turned around, chest heaving and fists drawn, blood rushed in my ears. Adrenaline had turned to bloodlust. I wanted to maim every single one of these fuckers. But the guy I’d taken down had disappeared. Mateland writhed in the mud, hands covering his face, and the rest of these pricks had their hands raised in goddamn surrender. Growling, I bent to Mateland’s level, snatching a handful of hair and dragging his battered face toward me. He screeched, his fingers digging into my skin as his body twisted.
Untouchable: (Unstoppable - Book 1) (The Unstoppable Series) Page 16