* * * *
I met Steven at an outdoor café on the upper east side of Manhattan. He knew about Danny and I, and he was jealous, flaming jealous. After the waiter finished checking out Steven and locking eyes with him, he looked me up and down and decided that I wasn’t a threat. He decided to seat us. Before I could get comfortable in chairs that weren’t made for comfort, Steven began to grill me.
“Sydney, tell me about that gorgeous green eyed sexy Brit of yours,” Steven said salivating over his words and not the food. He expected to hear all sort of juicy gossip.
“What is there to tell? I’m sure Tracy told you everything you needed to know.” Tracy a college friend introduced me to Steven.
“Danny is in Los Angeles and Canada filming. He’s finished, now he is up for a Golden Globe, that’s it,” I said not giving him what he wanted.
“All I want to know is… are you going with him?”
“Going with him where Steven?” My thoughts were aimlessly straying.
“To the Golden Globes… lady.”
“I don’t think so; he hasn’t asked me. And I don’t want to spoil his chances.”
“You don’t want to spoil his chances; spoil his chances for what? Girl you have a lot to learn. Did you just come across the border or fall off a turnip truck? You’re going to let that man go alone to one of the biggest events in Hollywood, and let the world think he is available?”
“I don’t like to suffocate a man, and besides, his agent may have someone they want him to bring.”
“You don’t like to suffocate a man, well that is the first stupid thing I’ve heard today, and you beat out Tracy with her stupid nonsense yesterday. Tracy informed me that she didn’t see anything wrong with her husband’s ex wife living in the basement of their home. Is there a full moon or something?” Steven said raising his voice, snapping his fingers, shaking his head, and gesturing with his hands.
The waiter must have thought Steven had signaled him to take our order because he showed up and plopped two glasses of water on the table with a sliver of lemon in each one.
With a bored and snobbish look, his nose in the air, and a perfected English accent, the waiter made a suggestion of what we should order. We didn’t want to hurt his feelings, nor have him rehearse for a part in a play, so we agreed to his recommendations, if only to get back to our conversation.
Steven peered at me for a few minutes waiting for an answer to the question he posed before the waiter interrupted, and then realizing that he wasn’t going to be satisfied, he questioned, “Are you crazy?” Steven shouted so loud that the couple at the next table glanced over, and the haughty waiter put his finger over his lips and said, “Quiet.”
“I’m not crazy Steven. I know what I’m doing.”
“You think you know, you don’t know men,” he said, as if he had a patent on what men want. The waiter brought our Caesar salads and wine, and then paused long enough to hear Steven.
“You are making a big mistake. You better grab that man and suck his cock like I know you know how, and never let him out of your sight,” he said laughing and enjoying the sound of his words.
The waiter left blushing after tucking his card under Steven’s glass of wine.
“Steven please! Finish your meal.”
“Sydney you are hopeless,” he stated, stuffing salad into his mouth. “Honey I might try him. I bet I could turn him out.”
Steven you can’t control that supposedly straight man you are dating. How do you expect to tell me what to do with my man?” I needed to shut him up, because I didn’t hear what I wanted from him.
“Sydney you need to stop,” Steven said, realizing I had hit a home run.
I stared at Steven, gazing into oblivion, knowing that Steven was trying to get a rise out of me.
I continued stabbing my salad with my fork, and trying to make a decision. The “What Ifs” were running through my mind. There I go falling into Steven’s trap, and he’s sitting there with a joker’s grin plastered on his face.
My mind was a great big ball of confusion. I felt like screaming. My mind made me a prisoner. I opened Pandora’s Box within myself, and now I’m shocked at what I’m finding.
I left Steven at the café to finish his lunch and exchange glances with his future victim. I rushed back to my apartment. It was a mistake talking to Steven because he reinforced all my fears.
I packed my clothes, carried my bags, and walked out the apartment where a cab was waiting. I didn’t remember the ride to the airport, or my flight landing in Las Vegas, because my mind was preoccupied. I was having a mental discussion with Danny, a sort of dress rehearsal on what to say to him.
* * * *
Las Vegas
The sound of car horns, people, and slot machines colored the day because all were competing on the same sound wave. I do remember arriving in Las Vegas early Friday morning. I retrieved my bags, walked outside the airport into the soothing heat, and took a car to the Wynn Hotel.
The Wynn Hotel sets on blocks of land that once housed casinos, which welcomed the royalty of old Hollywood. Now young Hollywood comes to party with its millions in new money. The cab took me to the check in for the Tower Suites. Bentleys and Mercedes lined the colorful careful manicured driveway.
Walking through an endless maze, I finally found my way to the check in counter. After a gracious greeting, doors opened, and I strutted toward the registration desk. All eyes followed me, because I looked gorgeous in my white Valentino pantsuit that Steven so carefully selected. I asked him if he could find a more expensive pantsuit. Steven’s feelings were hurt before he realized that I was kidding, because that suit cost a small fortune.
I sauntered to the desk, and explained to the little cute girl standing at an impressive counter, that there is a reservation for five days in the name of Danny McCloud.
“Danny McCloud, he is so sexy! Will he be here too? I can’t wait!” Stated the young woman in a high pitch excited girly voice, too young to be dressed in a pale beige conservative suit. She glanced at me trying to act important and sophisticated. I had known her type because I was once that type. Pretending to be a woman of the world, nevertheless, she had more living to do to meet those standards.
This is a pretty girl of eighteen, who melted at hearing Danny’s name. I gave her a half smile and sauntered away.
The bellman escorted me to the room and it impressed me. It was just like Danny to give me the best, even when he had very little money, but now he’s a star, and according to reports, making in the eight-figure range.
I unpacked, showered, ordered something to eat, because by then I was hungry. I ate, slept, and woke to see lights and stars become a part of the room’s décor.
Placing a beautiful sheer cream negligee near the bed to stimulate Danny’s imagination, I waited for my love, my life.
My body lay bare under the sheets.
It was a hot day, about an hour after midnight when I felt his kiss on my cheek, his warm hands caressing my breast, his fingers easing throughout my body—from my head, buttocks and legs. His breathing was intense as his hands and mouth moved along my skin. I felt his breath; it vibrated like a heartbeat.
Danny leaned over me. I gazed into his handsome face and lost myself once again in those emerald eyes. He gently turned my body over and began kissing my back and buttocks. His tongue and fingers danced through every sensual pore, and goose bumps showered my skin from the tantalizing massage. My legs became rigid as the blood flowed throughout my body, and every hair on my head tingled. He only stopped long enough for both of us to catch our breath.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” were the only words I could ease through my lips.
“Hello beautiful,” he said smiling softly. “How long have you been here?” he asked trying to gain control of his body. “No don’t answer. I’ll be right back,” he whispered in my ear.
I heard the water flowing, and I tiptoed out of bed. I walked into the shower with him. He turned to face me, a
nd I saw the look in his eyes, a hungry look. I knew my body excited him, so I sashayed closer and closer to him. I turned his body around and began to wash his back. I lay my head on his neck and kissed it slowly and passionately. I took my hands, placing them around to the front of his chest, touching each hard ripple. I rubbed against his hard butt. He turned to face me with a smile on his face and there he stood in all his glory—with his body welcoming me with a hard erect penis, and he said, “Look what I have for you.”
I knew he was ready and would spill his life inside me; he was hot and full just from looking at my body, but he wasn’t going to let me control him, at least not yet. He wanted to enjoy every second of our erotic lovemaking.
Danny’s hands reached for my arms and brought me to his body, and his wonderful head moved to kiss my firm breast as my nipples pulsated with his touch. A floodwater rushed out of me.
He opened my legs and felt me to check my heat and moisture. Steam was rising. Danny turned off the shower, and I sat on the bench exposing all for him to see. He bent down and crouched between my legs hungry for my body.
I didn’t want my orgasm just yet, so I pulled his face to mine, looked starry-eyed, and then kissed his chest, kissed his mouth. I stood. He followed me. I glanced at him and walked out of the shower, showing off what Danny called a “great piece of ass,” while knowing he was out of his mind with intense passion and looking for a payoff.
I heard a door closing, and then moments later, I felt his naked body glide next to me in bed. I felt warmth radiating from his every pore. I felt excitement over take him, and his breathing heightened.
I sucked his neck hard while placing bruises that would take weeks to erase. Then he moved down my body and he lay kissing my breast for hours. I kissed his chest as I held his wet hot penis. Every portion of his body wanted me. I used my tongue, mouth, and hands with accuracy. I was gliding over his hot body and not missing any portion of the landscape. The landscape was beautiful—it was strong and yielding.
His body overflowed and he shouted. His groans of excitement gave me a glorious feeling, where I became excited at the stunned look on Danny’s face. I wanted to give him what he had given me, because I was thirsty and hungry for him. He reached his climax again, and again he overflowed out and in my body as he held me next to him with a look of amazement.
“You are the only woman that has ever created this kind feeling in me. I’m never going to let you go.”
“What if I died?” I said playfully.
“Then I’ll die with you.”
No, I said to myself, this is crazy, this sounds too serious. I had inadvertently created a situation I couldn’t handle; yet I was dizzy with the power I had over Danny.
What does he mean the only woman? All sorts of thoughts rushed through my unstructured mind. Consumed with glory and conquest of this young man caused arrogance and stupidity on my part.
“I’ve never been able to reach an orgasm like that. You are the only woman that can make me feel the way I do,” he admitted, as if I had given him a new toy he could cherish forever and ever.
“I don’t want to think of you doing this with any man. I want to be the only man in your life,” he said with a look that shook the foundation of my soul.
He had to be kidding; he was the only man in my life—the only man in my dreams who could cancel my thoughts of all men. Who would have thought, after past years, I had found that I wanted to pleasure a man, and satisfy him repeatedly, only because of his love of me, and my love for him.
We spent all night loving each other, giving each other what we needed and discovering what we could do to arouse each other. We were totally exhausted. What are some positions men and women use to engage in sex? I asked. Kamasutra has many positions—well we tried them all. Every part of my body ached with pleasure.
I fell into a deep sleep and I began to dream. It was a strange dream; I was still married to Mike, and he brought Danny to the house to have a threesome. There I was with my husband Mike, and he insisting I have sex with Danny, a stranger.
Danny and I began having sex, as Mike watched regretting his decisions. We enjoyed each other and forgot everything and everyone. We were lost in each other’s bodies. Then Mike became enraged as he stood over Danny and me.
I looked up and I started screaming; Stop! Mike No! I woke relieved that none of this was true and Danny was indeed my true love.
Heather with her infinite wisdom says that if you dream of death that means life. I realized that I’m in this wonderful place with a gorgeous, exciting man, and the nightmare of my first marriage was over, and I’m free for the moment.
Danny drunk too much wine and didn’t hear me cry out. Thank goodness!
I lay on top of Danny as he sleeps; I’m his security blanket, and he’s my teddy bear. We finally had the things we couldn’t live without. We were children again who couldn’t endure a separation from the ones we love, and we were the only two people in our world.
The curtains were closed to keep the world out, and there lay the man of my dreams.
I’m suddenly reminded of the song by Westlife: Flying Without Wings: “It’s waking up beside you to watch the sunrise on your face, to know I can say I love you in any given time or place.”
I’m flying without wings. I exposed my life to Danny. Life can be like a kaleidoscope with endless colorful dreams. Dreams unfulfilled are useless and can be a nightmare, but dreams can also be a way to make life bearable.
I use to have only my dreams, but now for the moment I have Danny. He’s a movie star and some women would give up husbands to make love to him. Here I am lying next to him, and I am breathless, speechless, and mindless!
We lay together in this enchanted room filled with flowers and amenities of the rich and famous. We lay together in an enormous suite, with fine wine, maids, and concierge service to satisfy our every whim and fancy. “There is nothing too good for my baby,” he stated proudly. We needed nothing that night but the bed and shower.
Now it’s early in the morning, and I see the sun glancing through the heavenly silk, ivory drapes that surround the scenic window, as if positioned in front of a stage, separating the actors from the audience. The performances began early that night, and finally ended. The curtains are closed and the actors have taken their bows.
I woke feeling a sense of apprehension and emptiness, which was of my own creation. I was constantly thinking about the differences in our ages, and I became insecure. I couldn’t get pass the thought that a difference in age with my husband Mike, who was fifteen or twenty years older than me had affected and almost ruined my life before I met Danny.
I silently moved with the grace of a cat to open the curtains, so as not to disturb Danny. The sun rose just above the mountains in a distance. I could see and feel the Las Vegas sun showering its warmth on my man. The beam from the morning sun created a spotlight on that handsome figure.
I crept back into the bed to feel the desire of his body one more time. I hugged him and melted into his body. His body presented a feeling of emotions that hadn’t been revealed. The occupation of my mind with past emotions concerning men, led a search around the room for the answers to the puzzle I was constructing.
My eyes landed on pillows strewn all around a wonderfully soft bed that would not want anything to touch its surface but soft white delicate silken sheets, and bodies in heat.
Clothes lay streaming along the floor like a tide had come and washed them away then leaving them as it receded.
There were clothes torn from bodies willing to make the sacrifice for lust. These were clothes of individuals, who put time and money into their selection to entice and excite the senses. A man’s leather jacket made to caress a body that deserved adornment. Shirts thrown, cascading over a beautiful soft pink lace bra and panties to fit a small body. There lay expensive jeans to fit the physique of my Greek God.
My panties so sheer as to give the appearance of an absence of their intention, but make
no mistake, their intentions were clear. I bought these garments to entice, to involve, to create an illusion, and masquerading my flaws— that of a desperate young woman loving a beautiful naive young man.
Lying close, Danny slept clutching my thong as if caught up in the allure of my scent. As he turned, I could see a quiet sexuality. A man at the height of his sexuality, not understanding his craving for sex, wanting sex, driven by passionate sex, and reeking with sexual desire.
A man not knowing the effects of the strength of his sexuality, what many women crave and dream of all their lives. Yet there I had him—all of him, and he didn’t even know that he was beautiful!
He’s a private peaceful man who found solace in only a few people. A man who needed the love I gave and the love he gave me. His body strong with a firm chest and arms created by nature and set affix for the world to behold. Arms so full and firm, that when held, you never want to release your hold on him for fear of never touching them again.
These qualities alone did not fashion the man I’m in love with. His face is a heart stopper, tanned from the recent sun, dark curly hair with sideburns cut short, and a wisp of light that nature painted so graciously.
His eyes are deep green. I could leap into them and roll on endlessly as if I were a child in a field of clover. His mouth covered sumptuous white teeth that said bite me, bite me anywhere, and his kiss was a promise of more to come.
His smile made me feel as if I could never share him with anyone, and his voice set my heart on fire; fire that was continuous and full of embers never to extinguish. When he spoke I could hear the Scottish and English accent he tried to mask, in favor of an American accent he thought everyone wanted to hear—not I. His accent is his charm.
He is twenty years old, some woman’s son. You could see she put pride, joy, and all her emotions into his body and soul. I on the other hand am twenty-five. He never suspected that I am older and I have been feeling guilty ever since I met him and fell in love with him. How could I marry a man where I am full of life’s experiences? He was at a disadvantage. How could I take those years from him? Maybe if I ended it now I could save myself some heartache. He could forget me in time. Would I forget him?
Obsession: Warm Bodies, Cold Hearts Page 2