by Sara Shepard
“This is Sutton,” Emma said shakily.
“Hello, Miss Mercer.” Quinlan’s voice was tight. “I thought you should know that Thayer posted bail. We had no choice but to release him.”
“What? ” Emma gasped. “When?”
“A few hours ago.”
Her heart was pounding so fast she was sure it was going to explode from her chest. Thayer had been on the loose for a few hours? “Did Mr. Vega change his mind?” Did Madeline know? Why wouldn’t she have said anything?
“It wasn’t Mr. Vega,” Quinlan said.
“Who was it?” Emma demanded, passing the wooden sign that marked the beginning of the trail.
There was a long pause. Emma listened to breathing on the other end. “Look,” Quinlan finally said. “I noticed how freaked out you were about Thayer in the station the other day. If there’s anything you want to tell me about him, any reason you might be afraid of him, you should speak up now. Normally I don’t believe a word you’re saying, but I know you’re either hiding something or are truly scared of something. Which is it, Sutton?”
Emma ran her tongue over her teeth. If only she could tell Quinlan the truth. If only he’d believe her.
“After months of hiding, he resurfaced in your bedroom, Sutton,” Quinlan went on. “If there’s any reason he might want to hurt you, we can protect you.”
Emma shut her eyes. Protection was what she wanted most in the whole world. But Quinlan wouldn’t believe her if she told him the truth. He would think she was making it up. Or, worse, if he bought the story that she was Sutton’s twin, he’d think she was the murderer. “I’ll be fine,” she mumbled.
Quinlan’s breath caught on the other end. “Okay,” he said after a pause. “Well, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” The line went dead.
Somewhere in the distance, a coyote howled. Emma’s fingers trembled as she stuffed the phone into Sutton’s clutch. Had she just made a huge mistake? Should she have told Quinlan the truth, now that Thayer was on the loose?
Snap.
Emma whipped around, suddenly on alert. She’d wandered so far onto the trail during her talk with Quinlan that she was surrounded by darkness. She couldn’t see the house anymore. She spun in every direction, trying to make sense of which way she needed to walk to get back to the party. The wind whistled through the desert brush.
“Hello?” she called out. Silence. She took a step in one direction, then another. “Hello?” All sound had fallen away. It was like she was in the middle of nowhere.
A hand landed on the back of her shoulder. Emma froze, her body going cold. All at once, she realized her mistake in wandering out there alone in the darkness. It was Thayer. It had to be. He’d come back to hurt her, just like he’d hurt her sister. She hadn’t been listening to his messages carefully enough. She hadn’t been playing along.
“Sutton,” a voice whispered.
The hiss of my name echoed over and over in my head. All at once, I felt the same bright, snapping sensation and familiar tingle. Another memory was coming, maybe the final piece to what happened to me that terrible night. I surrendered to the vision, letting it take me away.
28
WE ALL FALL DOWN
“Sutton!”
Thayer’s fingers dig into my upper arm as he yanks me into the thick brush. I kick and scream as he clamps a hand over my mouth again and drags me farther from the parking lot. The brush thickens and attacks my skin in sharp scrapes. Tears sting my eyes and blur my vision, but I can’t wipe them away—he’s got my arms pinned against my sides as he heaves my body over the dirt.
“Thayer, stop!” My voice is muffled against his grip. My feet kick out and send leaves and soil flying.
Thayer drops me carefully to the ground and angles my body against the scratchy bark of a tree’s thick trunk. “Jesus, Sutton, stop screaming for one freaking second.”
I pry his hand from my mouth and take gulping breaths. I’m ready to let out another yell when I see Thayer’s shoulders relax. He drops his arms and plants his hands on his knees, out of breath. “You’re faster than I thought,” he says. His eyes scan the brush over his shoulder. “I’m trying to protect you. I think we got away in time.”
“Wait, what?” I ask, blinking hard. It takes a moment for my thoughts to recalibrate as Thayer cuts through the brush onto the main road. I trail after him. “Was someone chasing us? Who?”
Thayer shakes his head. “Trust me, you don’t want to know,” he pants.
“Thayer, tell me what you—”
Tires screech behind us, and I turn just in time to see a car careening out of the Sabino Canyon lot. Off-yellow, perfectly round headlights rapidly advance on us, and with a jolt I realize it’s my Volvo—my father and I restored the vintage headlights, which look different from modern-day Xenons.
My insides whirl with fear and surprise. I dart off the path, nearly impaling myself on a prickly pear. Then I turn to Thayer next to me. “Someone’s in my car!”
“H-how?” Thayer asks slowly, still breathing hard.
But there’s no time to explain about how I’d dropped my keys by the door. The car barrels straight at us, the tires squealing. I can’t make out the driver’s face, but whoever it is has straight, determined arms locked on the steering wheel. Thayer freezes in the middle of the road, right in the car’s path.
“Thayer!” I scream. “Get out of the way!”
But it’s too late. The car strikes him with a sickening thud. Time slows as Thayer’s body flies into the air, crumpling against the windshield with a loud crack.
“Thayer!” I wail again.
With the scream of rubber on pavement, the car reverses. Thayer rolls off the hood and the car speeds away. The headlights click off and the car vanishes, leaving us in eerie silence.
I can barely feel my legs as I stumble to where Thayer’s body lies limp on the ground. His leg is twisted awkwardly. There’s blood on his head. He looks at me weakly, letting out a low moan. “Oh my God,” I whisper. “We have to get you to the hospital.” My thinking is suddenly crystal clear. I reach into my pocket for my phone. “I’ll call 911.”
“No,” Thayer moans, grabbing my hand with what strength he has left. “I don’t want my parents to know I’m here. They can’t know I’m back in town.” His breathing heaves. “I need to go to a different hospital. Somewhere out of town.”
“That’s impossible. I can’t drive you anywhere. Some maniac has my car,” I protest.
“Laurel.” Thayer reaches a hand into the pocket of his shorts and pulls out his own cell phone. “She’ll do it. I’ll call her.”
A twinge of jealousy spikes my insides. I don’t want Laurel doing this for him. I don’t want my sister sharing in the secret that he’s back. But this isn’t time to get territorial. I sit back on my haunches, feeling helpless. “Okay. Call her.”
Thayer dials, and I hear ringing. “Laurel?” he says when she answers. “It’s … me.”
There is a sharp gasp on the other end; surely Laurel is incredulous. She has every right to be. As far as I know, Thayer hasn’t contacted anyone since June. Except me.
“I’m hurt,” Thayer goes on. “I need you to come and get me.”
Thayer holds up a hand. “I can’t explain, okay? I just need you to go with me on this. I’m at Sabino Canyon.”
He gives her the rest of the details, and I can tell by his relieved expression that Laurel said she’d do it. When he hangs up, I rest my hand on the stubble lining Thayer’s jaw. He feels too cold and his eyes are wild like an animal’s. Blood seeps from the wound on his head. Whenever he moves he winces; his leg is bent horribly.
“I’m so sorry,” I say softly, trying hard not to cry again. “I don’t understand what happened. I don’t know who could have been following us. I should have never suggested we come here.”
“Sutton.” Thayer’s eyebrows narrow in concentration. “This isn’t your fault.”
But I can’t help feeling
that it is. I freaked out and ran away from Thayer. I dropped my keys at my car. I bend my face close to Thayer’s and rest my head on his chest. All of my fears about him seem so unfounded. I’d let myself get caught up in the rumors about him instead of trusting that he loved me.
Before I know it, headlights appear on the road, almost as if Laurel’s been waiting around the corner. I stand up and Thayer glances at me with surprise. “Where are you going?”
“I have to hide,” I tell him. “No one should know we’ve been talking. Laurel will keep the secret that you’re back in town, but not if she knows I’m involved.”
Thayer looks shocked, maybe even a little scared. “But …”
“Believe me,” I interrupt. “This is the best way.” I press my lips to his. I can barely make myself pull away, but when I do, I tell him, “I’ll be in touch as soon as I can—look for my note.”
I clamber up the side of a small hill packed with desert sand and hide behind a cluster of thick bushes. The headlights grow brighter and bounce along the trail, illuminating rocks and slick mud. Laurel’s car skids to a halt, and her door flies open. She explodes from the car and runs to Thayer’s side, her blonde hair flying.
“Thayer!” she cries, dropping to a crouch and putting a hand on his arm. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“I will be.” Thayer’s face tightens into a grimace. “I think my leg’s broken. I need you to get me to a hospital … somewhere out of town.”
“But we have amazing doctors here! You could—”
“No arguments, Laurel. Please.”
Laurel nods, staring at the odd angle of Thayer’s leg and looking freaked. “I’ll do whatever you need me to,” she says. I can tell she’s trying to sound tough.
My sister helps Thayer into the backseat of the car so he can sit with his legs stretched out. He moans as he pulls his body across the cushions. I try to catch a glimpse of him, but I can only see his white soccer sneakers dangling over the edge of the seat. Something inside me breaks open. I have a horrible premonition: This will be the last time I ever see him. That tiny peck on the lips was our final kiss good-bye.
Just after Laurel shuts Thayer’s door, she glances around the brush surrounding the clearing. Her hands shake slightly at her side. I watch, helplessly, as her eyes squint and stare. She’s looking through each bush and thorny branch, one by one.
I start to duck, but it’s too late. Her eyes lock with mine. She blinks and takes a sharp breath before running to the driver’s side and slamming the door.
A sharp gust of wind whistles through the branches above my head. My legs feel shaky and I dig my fingers into the wet dirt to steady myself.
Laurel reverses and pivots the car over mud and rocks. She flicks on her brights to illuminate the treacherous path ahead. Then she speeds away into the night. I watch the red taillights disappear into the distance, trying not to think about Thayer. But I can’t help it. I think of him wincing every time the car hits a bump. I think about when I’m going to see him again—if I’m going to see him again. And I think about how someone used my car to run down the boy I’m in love with …
But… who?
29
LIKE POISON
Emma whipped around, ready to find herself face-to-face with Thayer, ready to defend herself against someone twice her size in the middle of the desert with no witnesses. But instead, Laurel’s piercing blue eyes stared back at her.
“What are you doing out here?” Laurel snapped, retracting her hand from Emma’s shoulder.
Emma took a breath, her body still tensed. “Just taking a walk,” she said, unclenching her fists and resting them at her side.
Laurel put a finger to her lips. “Wait, let me guess,” she said, her words singed with annoyance. “I’ll bet you’re out here calling Thayer now that he’s out of jail.”
Emma flinched. “You know he’s out?”
“What, did you think you were the only one?” Laurel’s face dropped into a scowl. “I wish you’d leave him alone. He doesn’t need more of you, Sutton. You’ve done enough already.”
Emma stared at her. “What are you talking about?” Did Laurel mean how Sutton had hit Thayer with her car? How could she know about that?
Laurel crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. “I’m so sick of this. I know. I know what you’re hiding.”
Emma blinked at her. The night air hung heavy and silent between them. Panic gripped her limbs. Hiding? Was she talking about Emma’s real identity? Had she figured it out? Had Thayer told her?
“You’re going to stand there and pretend you have no idea what I’m talking about, aren’t you?” Laurel asked, her eyes widening.
Tiny scratching noises sounded in the underbrush as some animal scurried among the cacti. A shiver ran along the back of Emma’s legs and she tried to keep her glare even. The last thing she wanted was to give away how afraid she was.
“I was the one who saved him, after all,” Laurel spat. She yanked her honey blonde hair into a ponytail and stared at Emma like she was waiting for her to defend herself.
A low buzzing noise sounded. Emma couldn’t be sure whether it was music from the party or desert bugs swarming in the distance. Who had Laurel saved him from? From Sutton?
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Laurel,” she said finally, making her voice sound as condescending as possible.
Laurel cocked her head to the side and dug her heels into the dirt. “I saw you hiding in the bushes after Thayer got hit by that car at Sabino Canyon. He denied it, but I know you were with him.” She shifted her weight and crossed her arms over her chest. “Why were you hiding? Why did you pawn him off on me? So I could take him to the hospital to be treated? Was that too much for you to handle?” She dropped her chin and shook her head. “Or was it just your usual MO?” She stared at Emma a long moment before lowering her voice to say, “You created too big of a mess to pick up yourself.”
“No!” I yelled at my sister. “I hid because I was afraid you wouldn’t get Thayer what he needed if you knew I was involved! I was trying to do the best thing for him!” But of course she didn’t hear me. I thought again about the memory I’d just seen. I felt foolish for being so convinced Thayer was my cold-blooded killer when I now realized that he was just looking to protect me. The anguish of seeing him lying there, twisted and hurt, felt fresh and raw. Who could have hit him with my car and just sped away like that? Maybe whoever had been chasing us. Which meant Thayer might know who my killer is without even knowing I’m dead.
Emma, meanwhile, blinked at Laurel’s words. She tried to understand what they meant. Part of this made sense—Thayer was hit by a car that caused his limp. But she had no idea Laurel had been involved that night. And the way Laurel was talking, it sounded like Sutton hadn’t been the one to hit Thayer.
“What else do you know?” she asked slowly. “What else did you see?” If Laurel had seen Sutton hiding, maybe she’d seen someone else there, too. Sutton’s true killer.
A coyote howl pealed over the rocks. Laurel glanced in its direction and sighed. “If you mean did I see the two of you making out, I didn’t. And I don’t know who hit him, either. He wouldn’t tell me anything that happened. Do you know who hit him? Are you making him keep quiet about something?”
“I don’t know anything,” Emma said. It was the truth.
Laurel’s silk dress billowed in the wind. She ran the palms of her hands over her bare arms. “All you’ve done for the past month is pester me about the night of August thirty-first, trying to get me to spill that I was with Thayer. Thinking I didn’t know you were there, too. That is why you asked me over and over what I was doing that night, isn’t it? Because you wanted to know if I saw you? Well, I did. I saw you, hiding in the bushes and abandoning Thayer when he needed you the most.” She scrunched up her face with disgust. “How could you have done that? And how could you have screamed when he came into your bedroom? Are you trying to ruin his life?”
> “I’m sorry,” Emma blurted.
“Sorry’s not good enough,” Laurel snarled. “You need to stay away from him. He told me as much. Every time you’re around him, something terrible happens.”
“Wait, he told you that?” Emma asked, rewinding. “When did you talk to him?”
Laurel dropped her hands to her hips. “On the way to the hospital. I’m the one who cares about him, Sutton. I’m the one who took him to the hospital, where he was in surgery all night. And I’m the one who posted his bail, in case you haven’t figured that one out yet, while you were running around, hooking up with your new boyfriend.”
“You posted his bail? How?”
Laurel crossed her arms over her chest. “If you must know, I’ve been saving. And with the bond Grandma gave me years ago and all the money people contributed to the Free Thayer campaign, it was enough. But why do you care? Thayer obviously doesn’t matter to you. So just leave him alone, okay?” With that, she spun around and marched back to the party.
Emma ran her hands along her face, replaying everything Laurel had said over and over in her mind. The tables had just turned again. So … Thayer hadn’t killed Sutton? He’d left Sutton alive, then Laurel had taken him to the hospital. But there were so many unanswered questions. It had to have been Sutton’s car that hit Thayer, but who had been driving? Was someone else with them that night, someone who didn’t want them to be together? Or had someone stolen Sutton’s car?
If only I knew who Thayer was protecting me from. Who we were running from. Who was sitting behind the wheel when the car rammed straight into him.
But I didn’t know a thing. All I saw after that moment when Laurel and Thayer sped away was darkness. And with that darkness came a horrible realization: Emma and I were back to square one.
30
CHEESE, MILK, AND EX-CONS
On Saturday morning, Emma pulled into the parking lot of Trader Joe’s and eased Sutton’s Volvo into a prime spot in front of the store. After she turned off the ignition, she unfolded the shopping list Mrs. Mercer had given her that morning. It included things like tahini butter, kimchee juice, and unsweetened almond milk. “You know how particular Grandma is,” Sutton’s mother had warned as she went down the list, explaining each item. “Get this stuff exactly as I’ve described it, or I’ll have a very cranky motherin-law on my hands.” The whole family was preparing for Grandma Mercer’s arrival early next week for her son’s birthday party. Apparently, Grandma was a bit of a handful.