“Aye, name it then, Alainn.”
“I need a servant, specifically a servant-girl that you trust completely to bring me my milk both morning and night.”
“You don’t care to simply come for it yourself as you’ve done these past months?”
“No, I think that is not possible any longer.”
“Because of the Widow McCree, you’ll no longer come visit me in the kitchen?”
“Aye,’tis because of her I no longer feel comfortable being there.”
“I don’t see what you have against the woman, Alainn. She seems amicable enough and I quite like the woman. She’s been dealt a hard blow, havin’ her husband taken from her with a wee son to raise, and I’m told she and her grandmother have had some type of fallin’ out, so the healer no longer wants her in her chambers so very much. Now she has no choice but to help out in the kitchen to make certain she has food enough to feed the two of them.”
“I’m sure they’d hardly starve, Cookson! Killian allows none of his servants or villagers to go without food. He has drastically reduced the rents and allowed his subjects to thrive more readily than any chieftain I am aware of.”
“But she feels she must work for her keep, she’s a proud woman and does not expect charity.”
“But who cares for her wee son while she spends her days there?”
“Eireen has him some, but he is with his mother a good deal of time in the kitchen. Thus far it has not proven to be detrimental to any of the duties.”
“A busy kitchen is no place for a small child; there are many harmful and dangerous objects within. He could be burned or scalded. The many open hearths are a great peril to a wee one and what of the vast quantity of knives and cleavers?”
“Alainn, you spent most of your childhood in a kitchen or a healer’s chamber and both are dangerous places. You survived well enough. You seem to have a clouded opinion of the woman and I am uncertain why, but I have much to do for even your husband has not yet broke fast and I am told he is off to visit your grandfather this morn, so I must soon get back to my duties. There is a young woman, Nellie O’Shea, who seems most trustworthy. Do you know her?”
“Aye, I know of her, she seems a reliable young girl.”
“I’ll have her bring you the mixture you require with your morning and evening meal, if that is acceptable to you.”
“Aye, it is much appreciated, I am grateful to you, Cookson.”
“Aye!” He smiled as he left, but Alainn did not find herself prone to smiling this day.
As she entered the great hall, she saw most of the many tables from the celebration had been cleared away. The enormous head table had been readied for the morning meal and Alainn felt herself wishing she was back at Castle O’Brien. It was the first time she’d felt this way since she’d arrived at Killian’s castle. She longed to be back there, preparing herbal concoctions for the many patrons who appreciated her talents and knowledge. She longed to speak with Cook and Margaret and Molly, to her Aunt Siobhan or Rory, and to take her breakfast in the kitchen where she’d taken her meals nearly all her life. And she desperately longed to go to the magical fairy glade where she’d always gone when life felt difficult.
She was overwhelmed with loneliness and homesickness and soon tears were brimming in her eyes. She had no desire to have Killian see her teary eyes or her dismal mood, so she hurried up the winding back steps toward the castle’s closest tower. As she stood at the top of the east solar looking down and watching the sun rise over the nearby lake, she touched her belly and felt her son move. She inhaled a deep breath and tried to calm her unsettled feeling, but even the beauty of the morning and the knowledge she would soon birth their son, didn’t seem to aptly cheer her this day.
She fought the tears, but they rolled softly down her cheeks and fell upon her gown. She swiped at the tears angrily and pushed her unbound hair back behind her shoulders. She saw the bright sky begin to turn darker and fill with grey clouds. She inhaled several times and held out her hands toward the sky. She watched the clouds begin to scatter and the sun peeked through once more. She smiled at that, but still a soft sob escaped her lips.
“You would trade this life as a fine noble lady and a chieftain’s wife, to go back to being a commoner?”
She heard the male voice behind her and looked into the concerned face of Danhoul Calhoun who so perceptively read her thoughts.
“I have never held a great desire to be a lady of position, ’tis true, but I would not wish myself away from Killian. I only would ask to be free of some of the uncertainties I now face. The entire castle thinks of me as an unreasonable shrew. I am uncomfortable around most everyone for Ciara has capably managed to turn half the servants against me. They think she is a grieving widow who has been treated unfairly for no apparent reason by a bitter woman of noble birth. Killian believes my jealousy is completely unwarranted. And I feel an overpowering sensation of gloom around me. Surely whoever placed the curse upon the animals will attempt to cause further harm to me. Is there a dark power near us, Danhoul? Do you sense it?”
“Aye, there is something most definitely amiss. I cannot define it, not entirely either, but something evil is at work.”
“And is Ciara part of it?”
“Maybe, although not outwardly. Perhaps she may be cunning or skilled enough to hide her powers or her allegiance with the dark one. Sure I do not trust the woman entirely, yet I can’t aptly discern her powers. I do believe you are correct to be suspicious in regards to her.”
Alainn shivered and the tears fell once more.
“Ah, lass, don’t cry so. Sure between you and me and your husband, we’ll find a way to overcome whatever threatens the peace here.”
She looked up at his blue-grey eyes so filled with compassion and empathy and she was only driven to further fits of weeping. He hesitantly took her in his arms and softly patted her back trying to keep the embrace as innocent as possible, though he sensed on his part what he felt for her had never or never would be purely dispassionate. He did not distance himself from her even though he heard the boots on the steps behind them.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“You should both be warned if any of the servants or guards found the two of you like this you could spend time in the dungeon for injustices toward your chieftain!”
His tone infuriated Alainn and, though she moved from Danhoul, she glowered at Killian.
Alainn looked up at the blazing green eyes that bore into her soul. She wanted to cry again, perhaps even needed to weep until enough tears fell that she could rid herself of the uneasiness she felt. But as was typical with her, she chose sarcasm and anger over melancholia in dealing with Killian.
“Aye, send me to the dungeon if you like. Sure sending your wife and the mother of your unborn child to the pit would be more openly accepted than a recently widowed woman!”
“You seek comfort in the arms of another man, and I am not to flay you for it, then?”
“If I should seek comfort in his bed, then you can flay me for it!”
“The two of you might leave me out of your constant bickering! And Killian, Alainn is only hopin’ to make you feel some of the jealousy she now feels and, in truth, there’s no way you could ever feel what she feels, for she has only ever been in your bed! But you might try to put yourself in her position, Killian O’Brien and, if you don’t, you’re maybe not quite the man I thought you to be.”
“And what makes you believe I truly give a shite what you think, Danhoul Calhoun?”
“Because I know you are a man of conscience, of integrity and honor. You are burdened by what others think of you. It’s important to you to be respected, and the fact you shared a bed with a married woman is the one flaw that has haunted your Catholic conscience ever since. Perhaps you might dwell on why you were tempted to Ciara’s bed; why you could not resist her, even knowing she was wed. Consider the fact you may have had a spell put upon you, and maybe then you’ll see why your wife loathes the
woman as she does, considerably more so than the many other women you’ve had through the years.”
“You think Ciara cast a love spell upon me?’Tis not true, for I tell you plain, I never felt even a shard of love for the woman.”
“There are spells of lust as well, Killian. In truth, I have found they are far more difficult for a man to resist for ’tis more common for a man to feel lust than love at any rate,” Alainn explained.
“You’ve created such spells?” Killian questioned.
“Aye, not for me, but for those who sought a husband I have done so on occasion.”
Now the look in her husband’s eyes had gone from furious to displeased, but he was clearly considering all he’d been told.
“You think Ciara truly has powers?”
“Aye,” Danhoul said, and Alainn nodded.
“Christ, ’tis all we need to have two witches under one roof!”
“Tis a situation easily enough remedied!” Alainn sniped.
“I can’t turn her out, Alainn! What of the boy?”
“I didn’t say turn her out to be fodder for the wild animals. Send her to another village, there are many in the area. Find her a comfortable cottage if you must so I needn’t see her every day.”
“Would you be suggesting this, Alainn, if I’d not shared her bed? Would you be as suspicious about her if we’d not been together? Or is it your cursed jealousy that makes you mistrustful of Ciara?”
“Aye, perhaps it does color my opinion of her and I am unable to be impartial. But I do feel she is a troublemaker and she does possess some magical abililities. I am somehow unable to decipher her abilities as I usually can. You have always trusted in me and my abilities before, Killian. Why do you fail to believe me now when I tell you she is surely not to be trusted?”
He stared at her as he spoke. “I don’t believe your jealousy allows you to see Ciara clearly or fairly.”
She turned from him and inhaled deeply attempting to calm her unease.
“Do you sense her to be dangerous, Danhoul?” Killian posed.
“Not entirely, for I agree with Alainn there is something unusually difficult to determine about Ciara.”
“Can either of you tell me for certain Ciara is responsible for the spell placed on the animals?”
They both shook their heads.
“Do you believe she is evil or that she is allied with the demon?”
Alainn was clearly displeased, but she shook her head. “I don’t know for certain.”
“Danhoul?”
“I believe she is not trustworthy and that there is a level of darkness to her abilities?”
“And is there not a darkness to your abilities, Alainn? At times of unrest and turmoil do your powers not take on a dark side?”
“You dare compare her to me! Well, if you won’t see her gone, perhaps I might spend a time at my grandfather’s castle till you make the decision, Killian. The woman you claim to love and whom you know carries your child, or the woman who most probably placed a spell of lust upon you to lure you to bed, and whose son could be the child of any number of men?”
“So am I to banish each and every woman you might feel a hint of jealousy toward? You should not force this, Alainn! And why are you so certain there have been many men?”
“Because recently her husband’s spirit has come to me in my dreams. I have spoken to him at length of her many adulterous affairs!”
“You speak to the spirit of Will McCree?” Killian’s face had grown ashen at the consideration.
“Aye, in my dreams I do. He tells me there were many men.”
“But why would he stay with the woman, then, if she continued to behave so like a whore?”
“Because, in the beginning, he wasn’t willing to believe or accept her adultery and then, he, too, was not certain of the paternity of the child and he loved the wee lad dearly.”
“Then we’ll keep them here, Alainn, for a time. Perhaps you and Danhoul can learn the truth of it. If, by some turn of fate, the boy is mine, I can’t simply be done with him. Will you at least agree to that, Alainn? If you tell me he is not mine, I’ll find some other place for them to stay.”
“I could tell you now that you did not father her child!” She lifted her chin and her eyes filled with stubbornness.
“But you would not, for you have not spoken falsehoods to me before, and I trust in your word and in your abilities. One day it is to be hoped you can learn the truth.”
“And until then how will it be between you and me, Killian?”
Killian nodded his head to Danhoul and gestured that he and Alainn be given time alone to speak privately. When they’d heard his footsteps grow faint on the stone steps, Killian pulled her into his arms in a possessive embrace. His lips came down hard upon hers.
“This is how it will be between us, Alainn, it will be as it has always been for us!”
He lifted her gently yet capably against the stone wall and impatiently pulled open the lacings of her gown and her chemise. Her breasts were exposed entirely and he fondled and kissed them with a tender, but persistent passion. She felt his hand beneath her skirts, he held her against the turret. He capably one-handedly unlaced his trews and in little time he possessively thrust himself within her. She wanted to fight him, to remain angry at him, but he controlled her so entirely when he loved her. Her skin tingled and her body welcomed him as always. She felt herself gasping as his lips caressed her neck. As they reached their culmination together, she passionately called out his name and was certain even the people on the ground below who appeared barely larger than insects, would surely hear her being pleasured. As she felt his warmth spill within her, she heard his own jealousy in his voice.
“You will not seek comfort in the boy’s arms, and you will not deny me this intimacy that we share! I am your husband, for better or for worse, and you will not dictate when I can have you, woman. I have sworn to remain faithful to you and, by Christ Almighty, I promise you I will.” His voice came in ragged gasps as he kissed her neck, her shoulders, and his tongue found her breasts once more.
“You brutish savage, put me down! You will not order me about or order me to your bed!”
Her words only seemed to further arouse him for she felt him harden further. And what infuriated her more than his actions was the fact her blood still boiled with the need for him to take her once more.
As she glanced down at the great distance to the ground below, she whispered in his ear, “You have obviously taken the heights of passion to an entirely new level, Killian O’Brien!”
He lifted her pointed chin to face him and he looked deeply and fervidly into her eyes before he claimed her lips and her body yet again.
Chapter Twenty-Five
As they rode in the carriage on the pathway to her grandfather’s castle, she saw Killian smile at her for the first time that morning.
“So it’s entirely self-satisfied about beddin’ your own wife you are feeling then, is it?”
“’Tis not about the beddin’, but about the fact you wanted it as much as me.”
“You’re impossible, Killian O’Brien!”
“Impossible for you to resist!” He goaded her.
“And unnecessarily arrogant about it as well.”
He only smiled a devilish grin and kissed her once more.
“Why did you insist I accompany you to my grandfather’s castle? Are you afraid I’ll scratch out the trollop’s eyes or share another embrace with the boy as you refer to him? I assure you, he’s no boy!”
Killian’s smile faded, but he spoke with only a mild irritation in his voice. “Don’t make light of either, Alainn. Please avoid Ciara when you can, and don’t tempt another man or it will make you appear no better than she is.”
“I am nothing like her, Killian!” she emphatically declared.
He chose to ignore her comment, but spoke once more. “I believe you seemed in need of speakin’ with a friend, and now that you and Mary appear to be on good
terms once more, I thought it would be beneficial for you. I have sensed your maudlin temperament and I know how you miss Molly, and Cook and Margaret.”
“I do, and Rory and Aunt Siobhan as well.”
He noticed the loneliness in her tone and it worried him, especially knowing the topic he needed to discuss with Niall and Riley.
As soon as Mary came down the stairwell to the main entrance way of the castle, Alainn knew she had something on her mind. Alainn suggested they go for a walk for the sun was shining brightly and the morning was pleasant. They started out toward the south meadow where many late wildflowers still bloomed. Alainn was considerably shorter than Mary, for Mary was tall for a woman and her strides were long, yet even in her increasing term, Alainn enjoyed a brisk walk. Since she could not gallop freely on horseback, she longed for the exhilarating feeling of the wind blowing through her hair. She called to the wind and it responded immediately. As the warm wind blew, she untied her hair and felt it being tossed and blown.
The two young women talked companionably for a time, and Alainn was grateful Mary had put aside her displeasure with her. She thought the young Scottish lass might be a better person than herself for she doubted she could find it in her to act friendly toward a woman she knew her husband had feelings for. When Mary grew quiet, Alainn sensed she wanted to speak to her, but her often reserved manner made her uncomfortable speaking of certain topics.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, Mary. Whatever you need to say, I’ll listen and not be affronted.”
The woman’s cheeks colored and she still remained quiet.
“It has to do with physical intimacy; whatever you must speak to me of is in regards to that subject?”
“Aye!”
“What of it, then?” Alainn pushed further.
Alainn considered reading the woman’s mind to discover what troubled her, but she reasoned it might be better to allow her friend to voice her concerns aloud. Mary finally began to open up to her.
“You’ll ken my mother told me it was improper for a woman to experience pleasure from physical joining. While I do not find the act repulsive as she led me to believe it would be, I do not actually find it pleasurable. When I think I might actually begin to feel something akin to excitement, it is simply done with.”
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