by Zoe York
Still carrying Maya, who was now squirming, he walked into the airy, gourmet kitchen space and used his free arm to hug Jack as he peered into the frying pan. “Sweet potato?”
His kid grinned up at him and nodded. “Salmon cakes! Yeah, with sweet potato and green onion and an egg! I know, it sounds gross—“ Dani interjected a weak protest but Jack kept going “—but they taste amazing! And I’m cooking them!”
Huh. And here he’d been making mac and cheese like a chump. “They look great.”
“We made a sauce for them, too.”
“Really?” Ryan couldn’t get over seeing his son cooking lunch like a man. “Tell me more about the sauce.”
“We started with mayo…” Jack listed off all the ingredients, then told him how they put the lemon in the microwave to make it warm first. “So the juice comes out better.”
“I can’t wait to try it. Do you think you could make it again at home?”
“Maybe if Aunt Dani writes down the recipe for me?”
“I can do that,” Dani nodded. “Hey, Ryan, can you grab the salad and put it on the table?”
“Sure can.” He set Maya down and opened the double-wide stainless steel doors. “You’ve got enough food for an army in here.”
“Well, yeah. I’ve got an army in my house, literally.”
“And you love it.” He winked at her as he carried first the salad bowl to the table, then the trays of cold meat she’d already prepared.
“Yep.” She grinned back him.
He left her to the final preparations, and followed Maya back into the living room.
“Okay, everyone to the table!” Dani hollered a few minutes later. Oh yeah, the mother gene is strong in that one, Ryan thought. It reminded him of how Lynn used to call everyone to the table, Maya hanging off her leg. You made them eat their veggies, baby. How did I forget about that?
Everyone swirled past him, heading to the big long table in the kitchen, and Ryan just stood in the living room, alone with his…not guilt. No, what he and Holly had shared wasn’t wrong. But that was just for him. That didn’t change this, the big family gathering where he was reminded that he still had a big hill to climb, parenting-wise. As he watched his kids clambering onto seats next to their adopted aunts and uncles, finding an adult to glom onto, he missed Lynn so much it hurt.
But there was also something new in his heart. A longing to share this with Holly, an aching wish that he hadn’t crept out of her trailer, that she wasn’t working today, that she could squeeze in between Gavin and Jack and help them fill their plates with salad and corn bread.
Did she like to cook? Would she help Jack and Dani, or would she be in the living room with Jake, twirling kids around in circles and laughing her beautiful laugh?
Don’t wish things could be different. Isn’t that what Holly had said just an hour earlier? He was being an idiot.
He reached for the cucumber salad, taking a big spoonful before offering some to Maya, who said no until Tom told her he loved cucumbers and then she wanted some. Always the way. Ryan shook it off and lost himself in the conversation and food, trying desperately to just enjoy what he had.
As they ate, talk turned to the church service and where everyone parked because Main Street had been closed off. The church was a few blocks away, but didn’t have a huge lot.
“Hey, what were you doing in town this morning?” Matt reached across the table for the bread basket as he nodded absently at Ryan. “I thought you were sleeping in.”
“Nah, I just stopped to see the film shoot after dropping the kids here,” Ryan said, his heart pounding.
“He went to see Holly,” Gavin said with a grin at the same time as Maya spilled her cup of milk and Dani leapt up, and for a second, Ryan thought maybe nobody heard him.
That would be too lucky.
How the hell did he know that? Ryan thought as his neck began to prickle, and he turned reluctantly in Olivia’s direction, his head swivelling as if pulled by an invisible rope of doom. She was looking at him far too knowingly. “Holly?” she mouthed, her eyes twinkling.
Eyes wide, he made sure that Dani had the spill under control before shoving up and out of his chair. “Hey, Liv. I almost forgot, I’ve got that baby stuff for you in the truck!” So what if he sounded like a panicky girl? That’s how he felt inside.
A few adult heads popped up, looking at him curiously, but Olivia made some similar noises, letting him drag her away. Lunch was almost over anyway and Ryan didn’t really care.
Smirking, his friend followed him outside. As soon as the door clicked shut, she dropped her jaw. “Holly? As in Hope Creswell Holly?”
“Don’t make a big deal,” he said gruffly. “And you can’t tell anyone.”
“Tell them what?” She crossed her arms over the slight swell of her baby bump. “I mean, if I knew exactly what I shouldn’t say, I could probably keep my trap shut.”
“She’s leaving at the end of the film shoot.” He was reminding himself as much as Olivia. “We’re just friends.”
“Friends that…” She trailed off and if she said fuck he was pretty sure he’d die of embarrassment, but at the last minute she smiled and added, “Skip church together?”
“I wasn’t going to church anyway. And she was working.”
“She didn’t have a lot of scenes to shoot today.”
“You’re super annoying. And why aren’t you at work?”
“Union rules. They’re filming right through the weekend but us little people need days off. And you are the annoying one. Holding out on me. I asked you! In the diner! I didn’t know that Holly was Hope’s real name then, or I’d have figured this out sooner. Oooh, Ryan, this is fantastic! She’s so lovely and—”
He held up his hand. “She’s leaving. And she’s famous. I can’t do that.”
Olivia frowned at him. “Can’t do what?”
Can’t fall for a woman who’s so far out of my league it hurts. Can’t expose my kids to the painful scrutiny of the world. “Holly’s leaving in three weeks, six days and approximately twelve hours.”
“Pretty sure you’re not just friends if you’ve got that countdown going in your head. She’s a wealthy woman, Ryan. You don’t think she can fly back here for the occasional booty call?” He reared back as if Olivia had slapped him, and her eyes immediately softened. “So it’s not just sex. Or you haven’t had sex yet.”
“I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“You should tell her how you feel.”
“Stop!” He didn’t feel anything. “She knows I’ll miss her when she leaves. We’re friends. Leave it alone.”
“How did you…” Olivia tilted her head to the side. Did she see the panic on his face? He couldn’t have this conversation with Holly, or himself. He sure as hell wasn’t ready to start having it with all his friends. “Well, okay. I think it’s great, because she’s great, and you deserve good things in your life. Don’t be a martyr or anything.”
“I’m not doing anything of the sort. It’s not just as easy as snapping my fingers and anything being possible.” He dragged a breath into his burning lungs. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
“Do you actually have baby stuff in your truck?”
“No.” He winced. “What do you want? Name your price.”
“Lynn raved about the baby swing.”
“It’s all yours. I’ll drop it off tomorrow, and throw in a bouncy thing-a-ma-jig, too.”
— EIGHTEEN —
HOLLY jogged the last few hundred yards to the cottage, cooling down after a long trail run. It was almost dusk. She glanced at her watch. An hour or so until the kids were asleep, and she could slip over to Ryan’s house like she’d done every night this week. They were going to talk about maybe getting away for that date, either the next day or the following weekend.
Tomorrow was the start of a two-day weekend. If they didn’t get away just the two of them, Ryan had made some noise about maybe doing something with the ki
ds.
She’d been topless at the time, sitting on his lap in his living room while he lazily played with her boobs. A shiver went through her at the memory.
“You wanna do something fun with the kids this weekend?” He lifted her breast enough so he could kiss the plump swell spilling over his palm.
“If you can keep your hands to yourself, definitely.” She gently cupped his jaw and brought her mouth to his for a soft kiss. “I kind of like making you hold it in until we’re alone. Delayed gratification and all that.”
“Wind me up tight and take advantage of me, okay, I see your play there.” He nipped at her lower lip before sliding his hands down her body to her hips. She loved the feel of his hands there—everywhere—branding her with a possessive heat.
“It’s good for both of us.”
And it really was. Their chemistry was crazy, both playful and intense, and each time they came together, she just wanted more.
Don’t think of saying goodbye.
Now she could only think of a good stretch, a hot shower, and being back in Ryan’s arms for another night. Part of a night. She couldn’t sleep over, and she knew that. Actually sleeping with him would be such a luxury.
So distracted was she by her thoughts that she almost missed the clink of wine glasses from inside the lake house before she opened the screen door. She didn’t hear it in time to run away, though, so when she froze in the doorway, Emmett saw her.
“Ahh, there she is!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide.
Oh, shit. “Liana. What are you doing here?”
It took all of her inner courage to step into the house and plaster on a smile. There was no way she’d escape to see Ryan tonight. Or maybe ever again.
“My bestie!” Liana Hansen cried out, putting down her wine glass and rushing across the room. She stopped short of throwing her arms around Holly. “Oh. You’ve been exercising.”
“Yep, just got back from a run.”
“Is that allowed? What if you twisted an ankle?”
Holly rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m playing a woman in a wheelchair, so I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem.”
“Ooh, right, I forgot!” Liana squealed and threw her arms around Holly’s neck, clearly forgetting that she thought the sweat was gross.
“So…why are you here, sweet pea? I’m happy to see you, really, but I’m working. And aren’t you on tour?”
“Tiny break! And I had to see you. You sounded so sad when we talked.”
They hadn’t talked, just exchanged some text messages, but that didn’t seem worth pointing out now that her best friend was here.
“I won’t stay long, just the weekend. Emmett says you’ve got two days off! I’m so excited! I love you!”
Holly laughed at the quiet stream of words in her ear and squeezed Liana all over again. “I love you, too.” She stepped back and pointed at Emmett. “Wine me up. I’m going to take a two-minute shower, then we can catch up.”
She pulled her iPhone out of the armband holder as she trudged up the stairs. Came home from my run and found a surprise visitor. My friend Liana. Might be able to sneak out later, but not any time soon. Heart heavy, she hit send, then clicked on Ryan’s name so his photo would pop up. She’d taken it on Wednesday. Two days earlier, and all of a sudden it felt like a lifetime. He was scowling because he wasn’t ready for the picture, but a ghost of a smile played at the corner of his lips and his eyes were all soft. The sexiest scowl ever.
No worries. Bedtime tantrums here. Might fall asleep in a pile of kids, but I’ll wake up if you end up getting away.
She didn’t get away.
When she woke up, slightly hung over from too much wine and too much Liana, there was a sleepy selfie of Ryan sent at half past six, Maya photobombing him over his shoulder.
OMG, so much cuteness she sent back.
I know, I’m adorable.
I meant Maya. She grinned as she climbed into the shower, then hopped out again and grabbed her phone. This is what I’m doing right now.
Rule number one of being a celebrity—no naked selfies. So she covered up the good bits and went for mood over content, taking a picture of her bare shoulder and smiling lips, barely parted, with the steaming shower in the background.
Her phone rang immediately. “Yes?”
“Okay, that was good. Great, even. I feel suitably punished for being cheeky.”
“What are you doing?” She reached into the shower and turned off the water, then crawled back into bed.
“Making breakfast.” He sighed. “And I just got a phone call from my in-laws. They just crossed the border at Port Huron. They’ll be here in four hours.”
“Oh.” Damn double damn. “Well, that’s sucky timing.”
“At least we’re both dealing with visitors at the same time. And I think they’re going to only be here for a few days, then they’re going to go visit Lynn’s sister until the movie’s done filming.”
That was something. “Well, I’ll miss you this weekend.”
“Maybe we can steal some kisses.” Like they had been until the week previous.
“Definitely. I’ll meet you by the woodpile.”
He rumbled a warm laugh in her ear at the same time as someone knocked on her door.
“I gotta go. Hostess duties call.”
“Okay. I…I’ll text you later.”
“Can’t wait.”
She hung up the phone and pressed her hands over her face. The knock sounded again. “Hang on!”
Grabbing her robe off the hook, she covered up and opened the door. When she saw it was Liana, she waved the tiny brunette into her room.
“Who were you talking to?”
“None of your darn beeswax.” She threw herself onto the bed. She actually wanted to tell her best friend every last detail, but she’d keep the sharing to an acceptable-for-everyone level. “It doesn’t matter, he’s going to be busy this weekend anyway.”
“He?” Liana joined her, sliding onto her side and giving Holly a gleeful look. It wasn’t fair how pretty her friend was after a night of wine, although maybe the latter had only been Holly’s burden to bear. “You didn’t tell me about a he last night.”
“I know. I was hoping he’d stay a secret,” Holly said pointedly.
“We have no secrets, silly.”
”Okay. I’ve met a boy.” She could feel her face softening as she said it. “And he’s lovely, and not really available, not for the long-term, but he’s just…nice and handsome and good. He’s a good guy, not in the industry at all, and I can’t get enough of him.”
“A local?”
Very local. A few hundred feet away. “Yep.”
“So why isn’t he available? He’s not married, is he?”
Heavy emotion lurched through Holly’s gut. “No. But it’s complicated in other ways. He’s not comfortable dating someone famous, with the scrutiny that brings. Plus he’s got kids, so traveling to L.A. or wherever I’m filming isn’t an option. And I get it. But I wish things were different.”
“Do planes only fly in one direction?” Her friend scooted closer and wrapped her arms around Holly. “Anyone who puts that look on your face is probably worth flying back to Pine Harbour for, at least between movies. You hate the city.”
“I don’t.” It sounded weak, because yeah, she did. She loved big skies and coyotes in the distance. Her heart skipped a beat. She loved plaid shirts and work boots. But they didn’t love her. They liked her—a lot—for a safe, guaranteed-to-end private fling. “And even if I didn’t like it, that’s where a lot of my work is.”
“That’s what the Internet is for. I’ve been on tour for almost a year, and I’m still able to do deals and collaborate with people, from wherever I am in the world. It’s the same as when you’re on a film set. You don’t feel like you need to be in Los Angeles then, right?”
That was true. But Emmett lived in L.A., and while he was happy to travel with her, he wouldn’t move to Pine Harbour… “Oh my God,
” she groaned. “I just thought, ‘But how would I convince Em to move here?’ How out of touch with reality am I?”
Liana laughed and squeezed her tighter. “You can hire a local assistant, honey. I’m sure there’s a miracle worker here who can coordinate with him. He can be your California boots-on-the-ground warrior.”
“I don’t need an assistant.”
“Now you’re just talking crazy. Do you think Emmett will make us smoothies?”
“Yep. I’m going to have a shower, I’ll be down in a few.” She grabbed her best friend’s hand as Liana slid off the bed. “Don’t tell Maggie, okay?”
“Of course. You just remember that life is too short for regret, got it?”
Holly totally got it. She just wasn’t sure what she’d regret more—not taking a chance, or overstepping the bounds of her relationship with Ryan.
— —
Ryan watched his kids pile on their grandparents, then he moved in and gave big, welcoming hugs to Mike and Gloria Fenich. If he was only half-way happy to see Lynn’s parents, he buried that deep.
“Mom, Dad, glad to have you back.”
“We’re happy to be back, although we had a wonderful time down south. And we brought so many presents, our suitcases are bulging,” Gloria said loudly, winking.
Ryan just laughed and shook his head. His kids didn’t get spoiled that often. His parents loved them, but they had half a dozen other grandkids as well, and were four hours away. His three kids were the only grandkids Mike and Gloria had, and all five had missed each other something fierce.
“Come on in, I just put on a pot of coffee. Tell us about your trip. I’ve shown the kids some of your pictures on Facebook…”
An hour later, the conversation finally turned to the cottages. Gloria had taken the kids upstairs to put Maya’s new stuffed animal down for a nap, and Mike gave Ryan a stern nod. “Everything okay with the movie people?”
“Yes, sir. They seem happy with the accommodations. They’ll be gone in a few weeks. You can sleep in Maya’s room until then, when you’re here.”