by Pike, Leslie
It’s funny, because it’s most likely true.
“Or he’s going to use it on her. Just for the special occasion,” I say.
“As if BB needs a reason.”
We’re in my birthing suite watching the Oscars. I feel pretty good, except for the mild contractions I started having three hours ago.
“Ow,” I say rubbing my belly.
“Another one?” Jack says getting out of his chair and coming to my side.
I just nod and clench my teeth a bit.
“They’re getting a little more frequent.”
Just as the words leave his mouth, the nurse walks in.
“She’s having another one. Do you think she’s going into labor for real?” Jack asks.
The nurse washes her hands and puts on a new set of gloves. “I’m going to check things out. How are the Oscars going? Have you won yet?”
“No, my category comes toward the end of the evening.”
“All the nurses are rooting for you.”
“I appreciate that, Betty. But I’m just rooting for my son to be born tonight.”
She watches the monitor for fifteen seconds more, until the contraction passes. Then she goes to the end of the bed and engages the stirrups. I place my feet in them.
“Okay, let’s have a look.”
I feel her fingers as she determines how much my cervix’s effaced. She removes her hand and peels off the gloves.
“It looks like a go. You’re dilated to three, almost four.”
Jack and I look at each other and feel the rush of the moment.
“Can I take a walk?”
“Sure. Let’s see if that gets your water to break. Just take it slow. And, Jack, you be there to give her a hand if she needs one. See you in about a half hour. If you need anything, just ring for me.”
And she’s gone.
“Help me out of here,” I say to Jack.
Just as we’re about to hoist me out of bed we hear Finn’s name.
“Wait. They’re announcing the Best Supporting Actor category,” I say.
Susan Sarandon and Michael Caine look perturbed and a little confused. I don’t think the monitors are working correctly.
“I’d like to be able to continue, but there’s something wrong with the bloody monitor,” says Michael impatiently.
The audience laughs at one of their favorite sons.
“Oh there it is, it’s back,” says Susan.
Michael continues. “The nominees for Best Supporting Actor in a motion picture are, Finn Kennedy for Father Kolda’s Sins, Josh Brolin for Normandy, Adrian Brody for Power and Persuasion, Steve Carrell for Something Big.
He opens the envelope and says, “The Oscar goes to. Josh Brolin, for Normandy!”
The crowd responds as expected, but we’re disappointed.
“Damn it,” Jack says.
“I think Finn was better than any of those actors.”
“Getting nominated is a great start for a relatively new actor.”
“Take me for a walk. I don’t want to miss your category.”
He helps me out of the bed and makes sure I’m covered in the back.
“Thank you, baby. I don’t want my fat ass showing,” I smirk.
“Stop it. It’s a perfect ass. Still,” he says giving me a love pat to prove his point.
I move slowly, making sure each step is on firm footing. It helps that I’m hanging on to the IV pole and pulling it along.
“Give me a little pole dance, baby,” Jack says.
I wiggle my ass side to side, keeping my feet perfectly stationary.
“That’s my little stripper,” he nods.
We move out into the hallway. At the entry of our door two private security guards stand watch. Jack has made sure the paparazzi don’t worm their way into my room.
“Take it slower, Nicki!”
“Any slower and the old man with the walker will pass me.”
Out here in the corridor things are lively. And even though I’m the star of this show, the eyes are still on Jack. Movie star trumps mother-to-be. Prospective fathers and hospital staff make it a little harder for me to pass. Not only am I nine months pregnant, I’m attached to a pole. Just as we’re about to pass the nurses station on my left and the two cute doctors on my right, I feel something strange. There’s a release inside of me, and then liquid exiting my nether regions. It splashes all over the floor.
My water broke.
“Oh!” is all I can say. As much as I expected and wanted it to happen, I’m still surprised.
Jack takes a beat before he realizes what’s happening. It’s like a slow motion movie where each character turns toward the explosion or loud sound. All eyes are on me. First to my face, then down to the floor, then lit with their reactions.
“Her water is breaking or broke, whatever!” Jack says excitedly to the nurses at the station. They go into action.
“Oh my God. It’s happening, Jack,” I say startled.
From somewhere in the office behind the desk a wheelchair appears, pushed by Nurse Betty. She readies the footrests and comes up behind me. Jack hasn’t let go of my hand.
“Here you go, honey. You’re not walking back,” she says.
I don’t care that I’ve got moosh running down my legs or amused eyes watching our reaction. I’m only aware it’s time. Baby’s coming tonight. I see the same thing in Jack’s eyes. It’s a little fear and a lot of wonderment.
When we get back to the room, I get cleaned up and have my gown changed. I’ve got to admit this hospital bed feels pretty good right now. Just as I get the covers over me, I feel a contraction building. I start to do my breathing.
“Contraction again?” Jack asks.
I don’t answer because the pain level has increased a bit. Maybe a bit and a half. But it passes in a minute and I’m back to myself. The nurse gets things ready for another quick exam, feet in the stirrups, fingers in place.
“You’re at four now. Good. Everything’s progressing just as we like to see it.”
“The pain’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I think I can take this without an epidural.”
Nurse Betty looks at me like she knows something I don’t, which of course she does. “You’re just starting labor. Things are going to get more painful. The contractions will get stronger and last longer. And they’ll come more frequently. Don’t make any decisions about the epidural yet. We’ll be asking if you want it when the time comes.”
When the nurse leaves the room, I grab the remote and turn up the volume. “I don’t want to miss your category.”
Jack comes to my side and takes the remote from my hands. He clicks off the power. “Do you mind?”
“Don’t you want to watch?” I say surprised.
He takes my hand and locks eyes with me. “No I don’t, baby. I want to watch you. We’re about to meet our son. I have no interest in watching TV.”
The smile that lifts the corners of my mouth couldn’t be more genuine.
“God, I love you.”
He sticks out a foot and brings the chair to the bed, all without letting go of my hand.
“I love you too, Nicki.” He reaches out and brushed the hair back from my face. “Can I rub your feet or get you some ice chips?”
“No. I want you here. Don’t go.”
He kisses my hand. “I won’t. Are you nervous?”
“No. I’m excited. But…”
I’m interrupted by a strong contraction. Oh, this one hurts. I squeeze my eyes shut and bear the pain. I hear Jack rise. He comes to my side and leans in close.
“Breathe, baby.”
So I do. “Whoo, whoo, whoo.”
It lasts about thirty seconds I think.
“That was a good one. I think Nurse Betty may be on to something.”
He looks at the monitor and studies the graph. “Let’s see how close they are. It seems like they’re coming faster. This last one was at nine fifteen.”
“Did you call my mot
her lately? And your mother?”
“Yes. I told them things were progressing. And I’ve been texting them too. I’ll call again in a few minutes.”
“Did it sound too harsh that I didn’t want anyone here till it’s over?”
“No, you want it that way and it’s your choice. I think they understood. My parents did, they’re used to me. I don’t know about yours. I think they took it well. Maybe not Grandma, but the others.”
“My father told me even she came around. I just want it to be us, Jack. It’s so intimate. Just you and I, that’s how I want things.”
He smiles that adorable smile that’s only for me. It’s not the movie star one that has charmed women for decades. It’s the real one that only I get out of him. His upper lip slightly curls for just a beat before his lips part.
“It’s what I want too. They’ll be plenty of time for our families. But this will be just for the three of us. I want our boy to be in our arms first.”
I’m about to agree with him when the contraction starts. “Here I go again.”
“Let me look at the monitor.” He gets up and goes to the screen. “It’s nine-eighteen. Two and a half minutes apart.”
“Ohhh, this one’s a doozey!”
It grabs me and builds to a towering strength. Jack has returned to my side and puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Breathe!”
I can’t even respond the sensation is so sharp. It reaches a peak then backs down.
“Fuck me sideways,” I say letting go of the pain.
Jack starts laughing. “I’m sorry, baby, but I’ve never heard you say that.”
“BB taught me that one. She’s got a hundred of them.”
The door swings open and in walks the person I want to see most.
“Doctor Nakamura!” I say.
Jack’s shoulders relax. “I’m glad to see you. Can you just stay here and hold our hands?” he kids.
“I don’t think you need me quite that much. I was delivering twins, otherwise I would have been here sooner.”
She washes her hands and dons a new set of gloves.
“Let’s have a look.”
Taking her place, she places my feet back in the stirrups. She feels my belly and examines me thoroughly.
“How have you been feeling?”
“Other than the pain, I’m good. Nothing to report. Except I don’t feel the baby moving much.”
“There’s no room for him to move around easily now. You may feel him as he turns into the birthing position.”
She removes her fingers and strip off the gloves.
“I’m happy with your blood pressure. It’s been pretty even since you were admitted. You’re dilated to almost six now. Things are moving very quickly with you. It looks like the baby may be here by eleven or possibly much sooner. No promises though.”
I look at the clock. That means in an hour and a half or less, I may be holding my son. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes.
“I’ll be close. What have you decided bout the epidural? It’s time to make the decision.”
I don’t need to think twice. “I’m going to go ahead with it.”
I can tell Jack’s a little surprised. But he’s smart enough not to question me in this moment, because I’m starting to have another contraction, and it’s the most painful one so far.
Doctor Nakamura stands reading the monitor. Jack takes my hand and encourages my breathing. At this point it means nothing but I won’t burst his bubble. Let him think his breathing tutorial is helping me through this hell. It lasts two minutes or so then fades away. But they’re getting closer and lasting longer.
“We’re going to bring in the epidural. Jack, I’ll ask you to step out when we administer it.”
Jack’s about to protest when the doctor speaks up.
“I know you’d like to stay, but it’s hospital policy. It’ll just be a few minutes. Get a coffee.”
She’s not asking, she’s telling. He doesn’t bother to protest.
“You’ll be out of pain soon, Nicki. Just wish I could hold your hand through it.”
“Don’t worry, honey. I’m going to be so happy to see that needle, I’ll probably start singing.”
No sooner do I say the words than I feel a contraction building again.
“What? I’m having another one? Ow! Ohhh!”
I clench my teeth and try to endure the pain silently, but his is getting so strong I want to yell just in case it helps.
“Here, baby, squeeze me,” Jack says grasping my hand in his.
And I almost break it I’m sure. Oh Christ! This is tough, more than I ever imagined. “Ow, ow, ow, fuck me, ow!”
The nurse walks back into the room pushing the prepared cart carrying the epidural and all the tools needed. Another nurse has joined her to assist. Doctor Nakamura walks in behind them.
“Another?” she says. She watches the monitor and then dons another set of fresh gloves.
When the contraction stops she comes to me. “Let’s see how the baby’s positioned.”
She examines me and I see her raised eyebrows.
“What’s happening?” I say.
“You’re dilated to eight. This baby is coming fast. It’s too late for the epidural. Let me see.”
I look at Jack and his face reflects what I feel, scared. Shit, no epidural.
She moves her fingers around and feels the top of my belly at the same time.
“Baby’s nearly in position. He’s turned beautifully. It won’t be long the way you’re going.”
“Oh my God,” is all I can say.
The doctor smiles at me. “Nicki, this is the kind of birth all mother’s dream of. Fast and furious.”
She turns to the nurses. “Let’s get things ready.”
Nurse Betty and her partner move like the wind, clearing away bedside tables and moving others into position. They gather whatever is needed for the birth.
Jack stays by my side and leans in. “This is it, pretty girl,” he whispers.
I squeeze his hand. “I’m a little scared now, is there any way I can stop this?” I say softly.
“It’ll be over soon. He’s almost here now. Just think, pretty soon you’ll be holding him.”
We both get teary but the next contraction blocks any other thoughts.
“Oh no, no, no.” I’m lost in the pain.
“Let’s get her in position,” Doctor Nakamura says.
Betty comes around and positions my feet in the stirrups. She drapes me with a clean drape that’s folded up so I can see as much as possible. The doctor takes her place at the foot of the bed.
“Okay, Nicki, when Nurse Betty tells you to bear down, I want you to push hard.”
The contractions are almost blending one into the next now. The doctor just stays steady, waiting for my cervix to open the last few centimeters. I think I must be almost there now, because it feels like the baby’s about to come out. The pain is unbearable and still it builds. I can’t think of anything else. I’m holding Jack’s hand and he’s watching the miracle. The pain eases for just a few seconds and then starts up again.
“There’s the head,” Doctor Nakamura says.
“Okay, Nicki. Push!” Nurse Betty shouts.
When the contraction is at its peak, I give it my all. I push because it’s the only choice I have. Push, push, push!
“Here he comes,” Doctor Nakamura says.
I see Jack peeking over watching it all. “He’s got your black hair!” he says.
“Okay, this is it. Push, Nicki!” Doctor Nakamura orders.
I give it one big giant long push and feel the baby’s body slide out.
“Oh, oh my God!” I say.
I look down at the wonder of my child. My heart is about to burst apart with joy. The pain is already greatly subsiding. There’s no room for anything but love. His cries sound like the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard.
Nurse Betty brings the baby up and lays him on my chest. The umbi
lical cord is still attached and wrapped around one of his legs. She releases it. I kiss his sweet head and either side of his face. I’m crying with a joy incomparable.
“Hello my boy. It’s mommy. I’m so glad you’re here. Oh Jack, look. He’s got such a cute face.”
But Jack can hardly speak. He’s so entranced and ready to cry himself.
“He’s got your hair,” I say through my tears.
“And yours,” he responds.
Baby’s hair is sticking straight up like Jack’s, thick and wild. But it’s pitch black like mine. How adorable can one boy be?
Jack leans over and kisses his head and little hands that are curled into fists.
“Take these, Jack. I’ll tell you where to cut,” Nurse Betty instructs.
She gives the scissors to Jack and lifts the umbilical cord, holding it with both hands. “Cut right here between my hands.”
He takes the tool and carefully makes the cut. All the while he’s smiling happier than I’ve ever seen him look. The nurse reaches for the baby.
“Our turn. You’ll get him back in a few minutes.”
“This was as fast as I’ve ever seen. Good job, Nicki. Your blood pressure is stable too. I only gave you two stitches. That shouldn’t be too bad.”
I give a little response of acknowledgment. But I’m watching the baby as the nurses take him to the scale and quickly weigh and measure. You can tell they’ve done this a thousand times before.
“Eight pounds three ounces. Twenty-one inches.”
They wash the afterbirth from his body. He doesn’t like that much because he’s screaming to high heaven for them to stop. After another torturous five minutes away from him he’s returned to my arms. I hold him for just a few beats and then turn my face to Jack.
“Ready to hold your son?”
He doesn’t hesitate. Lifting the baby from my arms he cradles him close to his heart. He begins to pace around the room, lost in the first conversation.
“Hello, you. Hey, I like your hair.” He kisses the baby on his cheek. “Daddy’s going to take care of you forever. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. We’ll go to baseball games and we’ll build sandcastles on the beach. We’ll have so much fun together, you, me and mommy.”
This moment will be etched in my mind forever.
“Do you have a name?” Nurse Betty asks.