by Amber Garza
But the lines have definitely gotten a little blurred around the edges.
It all started at dinner with his mom, and it only got worse when he came to my house. My family fell in love with him. And that was when my plan started unraveling. They were supposed to hate him. Who knew he was such a charmer?
However, this whole thing with the wedding has been the icing on the cake. Why had I ever offered to go? There’s no way this plan will work if Josh and I keep spending all this time together when Hayes and Ashley aren’t even around. He’s getting under my skin, and I’m losing focus.
That’s why I have to get things back on track.
Enough with the plan. It’s not working.
It’s time to take matters into my own hands.
This became apparent tonight at the Panthers’ baseball game. Hayes and Ashley hardly noticed Josh and me at all, no matter how sweet and affectionate we were. It’s clear that they’ve accepted our relationship. Maybe we’d played this whole thing wrong. Perhaps I should’ve come clean from the beginning.
I may not be able to go back in time and redo everything, but I can make things right starting now. And that’s what I’m going to do. Josh left the game already. He had to go pick up his tux. He wanted me to go with him, but I said I had something else to take care of. When I spot Hayes heading off the field alone, my pulse quickens.
It’s now or never.
I can’t sit around anymore. I’m getting impatient. It’s time to take action. To do what I should have done a long time ago. After taking a deep breath, I hurry in Hayes’s direction.
“Hey.” I approach him, heart racing. Shaking out my quivering hands, I pull in a few deep breaths. Hayes bobs his head toward the parking lot. “I think Josh already left.”
No greeting at all. It stings that he so easily dismisses me. But I slough it off. It’s a minor setback. Once he knows everything, I’ll be back in control. “I actually came to see you.”
“Oh?” He raises his brows.
“Yeah.” I nod, filled with a surge of bravery. “I was hoping we could talk.”
His gaze darts around uncomfortably. “Just for a minute. I’m on my way to meet Ash.”
Oh, yes, we wouldn’t want to keep precious Ashley waiting. I fight against the irritation that wells inside of me. Instead, I paste on a gracious smile. “Um…” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about what happened with Josh at the party at the beginning of the year. I shouldn’t have kissed him that night.”
Hayes smiles. “It’s okay, Talia. I forgive you.”
“Really?” My heart skips a beat. Hayes’s smile has always been one of my favorite things about him. When he smiles at me it feels like bright sun rays kissing my face. And it makes me long for the days when he looked at me with awe. No one before and no one since has ever looked at me the way Hayes used to. Once again, I’m struck with how stupid my actions were. How much I messed everything up. And for what? Revenge? Some sick plot to hurt Ashley? It seems that it backfired. She’s now dating one of the nicest guys at our school. The irony is not lost on me. However, I haven’t lost hope that I can fix it. That I can get it all back.
“Yes, really.” He steps closer, patting my arm. It’s not exactly a passionate gesture, but it’s friendly, and that’s a start. “I mean, it all worked out anyway, right? I’m with Ashley and you’re with Josh.”
My stomach sours. He drops his arm. “So…you’re happy that I’m with Josh?” I’m dumbfounded.
He shrugs. “Normally I wouldn’t wish Josh on my worst enemy.” One side of his lip curls upward. “But he’s different with you. Seems to treat you well. You two fit well together, I think.” He pauses a minute. “I mean, you should hear the nice things he says about you. I don’t know how you did it, but you changed that guy.” My heart plummets as he continues, “Then again, my mom always did say that all a guy needs is a good woman to turn him into a better man. And I guess it’s true. It’s worked for me. Ashley’s definitely made me better.”
I narrow my eyes. “No, Hayes. Ashley didn’t turn you into a good guy. You already were a good guy.”
He nods. “Then maybe it was the other way around. Maybe I helped make her better.”
Shaking my head, I laugh bitterly. “She’s not who you think she is.”
“She’s exactly who I think she is,” Hayes speaks firmly.
“No, she’s not,” I say. “Listen, Hayes, there’s something you don’t know about her.” He doesn’t say anything, but his head cocks to the side as if I’ve peeked his curiosity. It buoys my confidence, and I press on. “Ashley hooked up with Palmer a couple of days before he went away to college. I had just found out about it the day of the party.”
Hayes’s eyes darken. My spirits lift. “So instead of talking it out with her, you kissed Josh?”
The hope I’d felt a moment earlier dwindles. I swallow hard. “I was angry. You remember how much I cared about Palmer. I was devastated when we broke up. I loved him. She knew that.”
Hayes is quiet a minute, as if he’s mulling over what I said. I stand completely still, barely even breathing, awaiting his reaction. Finally, his voice breaks into the silence. “It doesn’t justify what you did, but I guess I understand now. Thanks for the explanation.”
It’s like he’s punched me. “That’s it?”
“What more do you want me to say, Talia?”
“You don’t even seem to care that Ashley was with Palmer,” I say, confused. He sighs, and that’s when it hits me. “You already knew,” I whisper.
He nods.
“She told you?”
“We tell each other everything,” he explains. “And she feels terrible about all of the things she’s done in the past. It’s not who she is anymore.”
This Ashley he’s describing is nothing like the girl I’ve known for years, and it makes me feel like reality is slipping through my fingers. Reeling, I step back. “I can’t believe you don’t even care that Ashley hooked up with Palmer.”
“It was in the past,” he says. “And you need to let it go too.”
“How can I?” I snap.
He steps toward me, speaking gently. “You and Palmer weren’t even together then.”
I move away from him, my eyes blurring with tears. None of this went the way I thought it would. It definitely didn’t go like it should have.
“Talia,” he says, his tone gentle as if I’m a stray cat he’s worried of startling. “Maybe you should talk to Ashley. I think you two could work things out.”
“I don’t want to work things out with Ashley. I want to work them out with you!” I scream, exasperated.
“What?” He recoils as if I’ve slapped him.
Is what I said so terrible?
“What happened to the way you used to look at me?” My lips begin to tremble, my voice wavering. “You liked me so much. I miss that.”
“Are you saying what I think you are?”
I reach for him. “We were good together.”
He yanks his arm back. “You’re upset with Ashley for hooking up with Palmer months ago when you two weren’t together, but you’re here hitting on me while you’re going out with Josh and I’m with Ashley?”
I avert my gaze from him, unable to bear the look of disgust painted on his face.
“Talia, I don’t know what this is about. Maybe this whole thing is just because you still want to get back at Ashley, but you need to figure it out. You’re not the same person you used to be.” He slides around me. “Go find Josh. I really think he cares about you. Let him in. Forget this vendetta against Ashley and live your life.” His hand lands on my shoulder momentarily. “I won’t tell Josh this happened, okay?”
I force a nod, and then his hand is off my shoulder and he’s walking away.
***
“The plan is over,” I tell Josh.
“What do you mean?”
“I messed up,” I say, but I don’t know if I did. Mayb
e it’s for the best that I finally revealed the secret I’d been carrying. Ever since I told Hayes, I’ve felt lighter. Besides, he was right. My vendetta against Ashley isn’t healthy. And now that I’ve talked to Hayes, I can’t be sure if I really wanted him back for me or if it had to do with Ashley all along. And now I just want to forget the whole thing. To move on with my life, like Hayes told me too.
Josh’s eyes narrow. “What did you do?”
So I tell him. I share the entire conversation I had with Hayes.
When I finish, he stares at me in disbelief. “But that wasn’t the plan,” he says, stating the obvious. “Why would you do that without talking to me first?”
“Because it wasn’t about you, Josh. It was about me, and what I needed to do.”
He nods slowly. “Okay, but that doesn’t mean we have to abandon the plan completely.” I can see the wheels in his head turning.
Before he can spout off some new tactic, I cut him off, “I don’t even think I want Hayes back anymore. I’m done, okay?” Whirling around, I attempt to leave.
But Josh’s hand stops me. His fingers circle around my wrist tightly. “Wait,” he says. “You’re still coming to the wedding with me, right?”
I peer over my shoulder at him and shake my head. “I can’t.”
“But you’re the one who convinced me to go,” he says.
“You’ll be fine without me.”
“I didn’t even want to go, and now I have to alone?” He grunts in frustration. “Are you freakin’ kidding me?”
I turn to him. “Josh, I really am sorry.”
He moves closer to me, his hands gently resting on my waist. “Please, Talia. Just come with me to the wedding like we planned.”
“I’m sure you can find someone else to take.”
“The wedding’s this weekend. Who will I find on such short notice?”
I shrug, acutely aware of the fact that his hands are still on my waist. “I don’t know. Why don’t you call up one of the girls in your little black book? Surely you have one.”
“Very funny,” he says dryly.
I smile. “I’m sure you’ll work it out.”
His grip tightens on me. “I don’t want to go with anyone else. I want to go with you.”
“Josh, the jig is up,” I say, wondering what he’s not understanding. Wriggling, I slip out of his grip. “I came on to Hayes. He’s going to figure out that this is a farce. There’s no reason to keep this up.”
“Damn it, Talia, will you stop? Listen to what I’m saying,” he snaps, and I freeze at the intensity in his voice. “I’m not asking you to play this game anymore. I’m asking you to come to my dad’s wedding because I can’t do this alone. And I don’t just want anyone there with me. I want you.” His face nears mine. When he lowers it, his nose gently nuzzles my cheek. “I need you.”
“No, you don’t.” I draw back from him.
“I do,” he says. “Talia, it hasn’t been about the plan for awhile. I don’t want Ashley back. I haven’t for weeks. I want to be with you.”
It’s too much. First Hayes blows me off, and now Josh wants to be with me? It’s like I’ve entered some alternate universe. A part of me wants to believe Josh. To throw my arms around his neck and let him hold me. But I can’t do that. How could I be sure I really want to be with him and I’m not doing this because I’m mad about losing Hayes? And how do I know his intentions are pure?
“You don’t want me, Josh. You’re just upset that Ashley didn’t come running back to you.” I sigh. “Face it. Our plan didn’t work. Let’s just cut our losses, okay?” Exhausted, I step away from him. “I’m sorry, Josh, but I can’t do this anymore.”
JOSH
“You look so handsome.” Mom comes up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you in a tux.”
“Me either,” I respond, taking in my reflection, a frown painting my face. “You know, I don’t have to go if you don’t want me to.” A huge part of me hopes she’ll tell me to stay home.
But she doesn’t. “No way.” She shakes her head firmly. “You’re doing the right thing by going to the wedding.”
Turning, I take in Mom’s sweatpants and messy t-shirt, and my heart pinches. I think of Dad at the church with his other groomsmen. It’s where I’m supposed to be. But I decided to get ready at home. I don’t want to spend any more time with Chris than I have to. It’s the same reason I skipped out on the rehearsal dinner last night too. Wedding rehearsals are dumb anyway. I mean, how stupid do you have to be to not know what to do?
I might have gone if Talia had agreed to go with me, but she hasn’t even returned my calls since the day I poured my heart out to her. Just my luck that I would have to fall for the one girl who doesn’t want to be with me. She’s the only reason I agreed to go to this wedding, and now I’m stuck with that decision.
“What’s wrong?” Mom asks, her eyes crinkling in concern.
“I don’t think Talia’s coming today,” I blurt out.
Smiling, she nods. “I’ve been around Talia enough to know that she cares about you. I’m sure she’ll do the right thing.”
Normally my mom is good at reading people. Clearly, not this time. But I don’t feel like getting into it right now. This day is already going to suck enough. The last thing I need is to start it off by arguing with Mom about Talia.
Besides, Mom doesn’t know the whole story. She thinks Talia’s my doting girlfriend. She has no idea that was an act, and that what Talia really wanted was Hayes all along. I still can’t believe she went and talked to him behind my back. In the past couple of weeks, I felt like we were getting closer. Hell, she’d come to my house for dinner, and I’d gone to hers. I guess I thought that meant something. Obviously, I was wrong.
“You better get going,” Mom says, glancing at the alarm clock on my nightstand. “It takes a good fifteen minutes to get to the rose garden from here.”
I almost laugh at that. Fifteen minutes isn’t very long, but in Prairie Creek you can make it almost anywhere in five minutes or less, so that’s become the norm for us.
There are two places in Prairie Creek where weddings are usually held. One is Prairie Creek Christian Church, and that’s thought of as the more traditional venue. The other is the rose garden. It’s no surprise that this is the location Olivia and my dad chose. Their relationship is far from traditional.
Everyone thinks my dad fell for Olivia again after he and my mom split up. They think it’s romantic the way they found each other after years of being apart. But I know better, and trust me, it’s not romantic.
I’ll never forget when Olivia and Chris moved to Prairie Creek, because that was the real day my family was destroyed. Sure, my dad stuck around for awhile longer, but only in body. His heart resided across town in Olivia’s home. I could see it in his eyes every time we passed her shop or went near her street. And don’t even get me started on how he behaved if we actually saw her. He looked at her in a way I’d never seen him look at Mom. I may have only been a child, but I could see the writing on the wall.
Mom could see it too, I could tell. Many times I overheard her talking about Olivia on the phone with her friends. I knew she was the one who lead the smear campaign against Olivia, but it didn’t make me think any less of her. Instead, it taught me the importance of protecting what belonged to you. And I hoped that Mom and her friends would be successful in running Olivia out of town.
Only they weren’t.
Olivia stayed, and I knew it was only a matter of time before her presence took away what mattered most to me – my family. I knew that eventually she would end up hurting my mom. And I was right.
That’s the reason I’ve always hated Chris. I couldn’t take out my anger and resentment on Olivia, but I could on Chris. And I did. At every opportunity.
And now I have to go stand next to him during the wedding. I have to smile next to him while we have our picture taken, as if we’re happy to be instant
brothers. Anger thrashing in my veins, I slam my hand down on my dresser. Mom flinches by my side.
“Josh!” She snaps. “Don’t do that.” Reaching out she gingerly picks up my hand. “You might hurt yourself.”
A bitter chuckle leaps from my throat. That’s so typical of her. Always worrying about me. Even after Dad walked out on her straight into the arms of another woman, it was me she was worried about. I don’t want her to worry about me anymore. It isn’t fair to her.
Drawing in a deep breath, I regain composure. “You really want me to go?”
“I really do,” she says firmly.
“Then it looks like I’m going.” After pushing off the dresser, I pull her into a swift hug. “Sorry about my outburst,” I murmur. Then I snatch my keys off the dresser and move around her. “Wish me luck,” I call over my shoulder as I make my way down the hallway.
“Luck,” she responds, causing my lips to lift a little at the corners.
It’s been the same response since I was a kid. The familiarity of it comforts me, and I’m grateful for it on a day like today.
The streets in Prairie Creek are busiest on Saturdays. During the week everyone is at school or work, so the roads are quiet and empty. But on Saturdays everyone is out getting coffee, shopping, going to the movies or grabbing a bite to eat. I pass through the center of town and catch the groups of kids playing at the park and heading into the movie theatre. When I spot Olivia’s antique shop, my stomach twists. It seems like just yesterday I was cleaning up the graffiti I’d painted on the side.
When I was a kid, a group of us threw rocks through the windows. They never figured out it was us, thank god. If they had, I would’ve been in a lot of trouble. As a child, when we’d take trips into town, I’d always notice my dad glancing over there, trying to catch a glimpse of Olivia. I’d even caught him slipping inside the shop on more than one occasion.
And now, here I am, driving to his stupid wedding.
My heart aches the closer I get to the rose garden. Nearing the windy road leading up to the parking lot, my apprehension grows, and I ease up on the gas. My car almost stops. I almost turn around. Then I remember my mom’s words. She wants me to go. If I head home now, it’ll only worry her. She’ll worry that I’ve made the wrong decision; that I’ll regret it. She may be right, but that’s not why I lower my foot back on the gas. It’s because I don’t want to disappoint her. I’m doing this for Mom, not Dad. Somehow that knowledge makes me feel better about the whole thing.