“Of course, but…”
“I love mine the same way. I know it’s not life or death in the sense of I could get killed—well, not usually since Sanchez says he and his partner are starting to think my abduction was related to that very messy online thing, but for the most part it is, and could be, life or death for somebody. Because of me the bosses thought about my idea of putting in more mental health and loving the body you’re in articles for all sizes, men and women—believe it or not there are men with weight and body issues that cause eating disorders. They also diversified the models—a little, not a whole lot, but a little. And they spent less time featuring a lot of sex articles like some Cosmo issue stuck on sex. The magazine was always good and classy, and now it’s good, classy and more than just a good read. We’re adding a travel section too—fashion and travel—that was my idea but I told them I won’t get on any planes ever. They can fire me if they can’t deal with that.”
“You would get fired over that?”
“Well they won’t do that and I know that now, but yeah. No planes. The unemployment line is always open until I can find another job.” She shrugged. “No planes,” her voice tapered off to a near whisper. She stared in a trance for a minute as if memory of the past had swallowed her present “Anyway,” she brightened up a smidge. “I do love my job. I’m good at it too. It just fits me. I love designing my own clothes so this fashion thing with the magazine that is so close to what I like outside the media world…well, it makes me happier. I would hate working someplace I wasn’t happy…someplace where it was like, oh God please make the seconds tick faster, kind of thing.” She laughed again. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah, that I would. But still, I wish you could stay out longer.”
“I wish I could have gone back sooner. I’m scared; I’m really scared. But I have to do this.”
He understood her words. If he sat out every time he took a bullet in his Kevlar or almost died he would be afraid to go back to work too. She, on the other hand, had gotten abducted doing the mundane everyday thing of going from home to car, so he understood how that fear could lock her in a dungeon that she was afraid to ever leave. No, she was right. She had to get back to work no matter how much he wanted her to stay here at home. Home? He mentally laughed. He had made it like her home, having another officer grab as much of her clothing as she could, and bringing the sewing supplies too. He had pretty much moved her in, and if he had his way he would keep her there. Maybe another house run for a pickup of more than just a couple photo albums this time would be a good thing to ask for. Ah hell, he was in love with this woman and he hadn’t even known her that long. He made a mental note to himself not to ever mock any of those Vegas weddings again. Then again, Vegas weddings with one of those known for five minutes and went to alter thing was kind of freakishly weird. Yeah, his falling in love was nothing like that. But he still had the problem of how they met and he needed to know if she could want him because of the man that he is. Now was not a good time to get things complicated with a romantic kind of love. She needed time before he could even think of asking her out on a date. She needed time to heal, get her mind together, and explore life without falling for the guy who carried her out of hell. He didn’t want to be just that guy to her. He wanted to be more than that. She needed time. Good thing he had the patience of a sharpshooter. He had to wait for the green light when he was the man on the roof waiting for permission to take the shot; he could wait for her to heal completely before making his move.
“Anyway,” she drew out the words. “Are you going to be home for dinner? Or do you want me to leave dinner warming in the oven?”
“Not tonight. I’m going in later today and I’m on almost all night so I’ll just catch up with you in the morning.”
“Okay, well then what do you want for breakfast? I’ll have an early start because this is San Tan Heights and I have to drive all the way to Scottsdale during rush hour traffic so that’ll take a couple hours.”
She wasn’t kidding there. Especially once she hit I-17. “Look, you don’t have to cook…”
“I’m not trying to be Suzie Homemaker, Takahiro. I’m here, you cooked for me my first week here and you’re the one working every day while still trying to take care of me. It won’t kill me to cook for you when I can. Don’t get all scared of a woman or anything like that.”
“What? No, that’s…”
“Not what you meant? Sure it was. I get that I’m too disgusting for you to really look at as something more right now. Some of these marks aren’t going to go away at all and I’m not living with rose tinted glasses on so I’ll learn to accept it eventually, but you don’t have to.”
He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. How dare she sum him up to some shallow piece of machinery? He was not trying to distance himself because of some marks on her body. He was not trying to run away from her.
“Those marks don’t make you less beautiful than what you are. You’re gorgeous, and you need to believe that more than anybody else does. And I’m not afraid of you.”
“Sure you are.”
He wasn’t. He was afraid of himself because looking at her made him want to kill for her, die for her, protect her and conquer her heart, her body and her mind. The stark realization that what he felt was love, not lust, hit him hard. Trying to reign in his emotions was like biting bullets right now.
“If you’re not afraid of me why won’t you look at me sometimes? After you put the cream and oil on my back you never hold eye contact with me. It’s like you can’t stomach it…me.”
He growled and took steps forward while making her step backwards. Once she was backed up against the corner of the island he placed his hands on the counter and lowered his head to look directly into her upturned eyes.
“I am not disgusted by you. I’m a man, Sheila. I’m a man who has touched your body, heard your voice, listened to your words, and couldn’t get enough. But I’m being a gentleman here and that takes work.”
“I care for you, so what’s the big deal?”
“You’re coming out of something that hit you hard and you’re not ready for it. It takes time to heal, but you can’t just fall for me because…”
“Because you rescued me? Yeah…that’s not even why I fell for you.”
“Sure it is.”
“No, it’s not. I will admit having you take care of me with such care means everything to me, but…yes, I feel safe with you. Yes, I felt safe the moment you put me in your arms and protected me. Yes, I think it let me open my heart faster because I knew you were a good man. Your job ended when you got me out. You didn’t have to ride to the hospital with me. You didn’t have to stay in the room with me. You could have left before they even started the exam, but you stayed. So yeah, maybe all of that has something to do with me realizing you’re a good man. But my feelings for you aren’t locked in some savior theory. You saved my life, yeah, I’ll give you that. But don’t tramp on my intelligence. My heart doesn’t rule my mind and my mind is telling me that you’re the best man to come into my life on this level ever. My mind is telling me you’re hot as all shades of heaven and hell and I want you. Maybe that sounds sick because of what I’ve gone through…but maybe going through that circle of hell finally made me realize that life is too short to keep your heart so heavily guarded. When you decide that too come talk to me.”
She pushed past him and he let her. The words that came out of her mouth had him both flabbergasted and set straight all at the same time. He had put his own pseudo science diagnosis on the vibes he felt coming off her. He could tell she was feeling a certain kind of way, but he had assumed it was because she had some sort of hero worship thing going on. He had assumed wrong. If they had met under different circumstances he still would have gone for her, and from her words he was starting to realize she still would have gone for him too. But what were the odds they would have met? It was rare that he got up to Scottsdale; it wasn’t a city he felt the need
to visit and living so far away he didn’t feel the need to waste the gas going either. While he did get out sometimes he wasn’t chomping at the bits for places to go hang out at. The heights had some stuff, just down the road in the opposite direction had something, and if he felt the need to venture out farther than that he could hit up Gilbert, or even Coolidge without wiping out his tank. And if he needed farther than either of those places he could always take a shorter drive to Tucson. Yeah, they wouldn’t have met at all because there wasn’t much here that would make a Scottsdalian feel the need to come visit unless they wanted a rustic western dinner experience at the nearly upscale meets desert cowboy feel establishment in the Heights.
She had walked away from him for the first time. Usually she was trying to stay nearly under him. Maybe that was a good sign as to just what she thought about him. If she was only interested in him as a “savior” she wouldn’t have told him off in one of the most polite ways he had ever heard somebody tell anybody off let alone walk away from him. Before he left for work she had come back down and told him to be careful, to have a good day at work and once again she had told him not to think about her while he was working. He thought about her every minute of work, but fortunately he was able to pull his head together when they got called out to the last home invasion standoff. A few tear gas bombs through the window and a peaceful resolution, less than bullets anyway, had been achieved. Just another day with SWAT, he had said when he finally got back to the station. Day—heck, it was still morning. If the morning had started off like this he would hate to see what the rest of the day was going to look like for him.
Sheila didn’t know why she retreated to her room after what she would call an argument, almost argument, with Takahiro. She did wise up and go down to give him well wishes before he left for work. There was no way people should leave things on bad grounds before going to bed or leaving home. She wanted him to hug her, but she refrained from holding him to their hospital conversation on hugs. She wanted it, but clearly he didn’t want to give it so she would make it easier for him and just keep a little more distance to give him space.
The call had come in while she was thinking about going to work tomorrow and what she heard was a frantic Eddie telling her in near hysterics that the layout had gotten worse and none of them knew what to do to get it back. He said she had gotten it so perfectly and he begged, literally begged, for her to come in. “A couple hours is the best I can do on getting there time.” She said as she looked at Deputy David Sharron. He was such a nice guy that he just shrugged and said okay. With a heavy dose of makeup to cover the bruises the best she could she got in the deputies unmarked vehicle and rode up to Scottsdale.
Deputy Sharron had told her he cleared everything with his boss so she figured all was set right on his end. Her head was not quite ready for this, but sooner rather than later was probably for the best in the returning to work case. At least she wouldn’t have to dream about how bad it would be to go in tomorrow. Plus, she would be so busy working on the layout it wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable being there after what happened to her. she wouldn’t even have time to acknowledge the eyes focused on her.
She walked past everybody, giving the same smile and head nod of hello that she did before the abduction. They stared at her like she was some anomaly to be gawked at. Those were stares she couldn’t pretend weren’t happening, but with her eyes on Justin’s office she was able to keep her head up.
She closed the door as she entered their office with the deputy.
“Hey, kid,” Justin smiled warmly at her. “We need you so much you just have no idea how crazy this layout is. I don’t know what happened.” He started moving things around on the desk and clearing a small space for her to work. “Not even Ike can figure it out since our system wasn’t hacked.”
“Yeah, talk about bad timing,” Eddie shook his head. “This is one of our best issues yet if I do say so myself.”
She smiled and held up a hand to let them know to take a breath so she could speak. “First of all, hello. Secondly, he’s with me so I can’t go anywhere without him. Is it okay if he just sits over there?” She pointed to the couch in the corner but she noticed the disapproving look in Justin’s eyes. “Or you could crash in my office.” She looked at the deputy and shrugged.
“I’m not letting you out of my sight and you know that.”
She walked over to the closed blinds and opened them. “See, my office is right there so I won’t be out of your sight at all.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I can sit there then, but that blind stays open.”
She and the guys agreed. She knew they would prefer privacy while they worked so it was the best she could do.
Everything was so rushed and so disorganized on this disheveled layout. Somehow the sections between date night fashions had been blurred with workout fashion photos. The small section as a teaser on fashions across the world, starting in Barcelona, had been merged with jazzing up the office attire while still remaining within the office etiquette lines. Pictures were all over the place, not just one or two misplaced, but nearly all of them were hanging either in the wrong section or over the text of the article. Great, layout problems was more like an EF-5 tornado had gone through the file and left everything in ruins. She would rather work from her office so she could have more space, but Justin and Eddie seemed to think being in her office would be distracting with the young deputy in there. Apparently they, too, thought she was going to go fall for some romantic attachment just because of the attack. She wasn’t. She wasn’t even interested romantically in the deputy which was really a good thing seeing as though he was married with two little girls as home and a new baby too. New being about six months new, but six months was still new to many people.
“This one here,” Justin tapped the monitor. “This one doesn’t belong either.” The glamorous side of city life photo surely didn’t belong in the office section, but neither did the text. Eddie was more legal minded, but still good at the basic layout design. Justin was more of their design guru, or so she thought. But now she was realizing that Kelly Fisher was the woman who probably did all the basic work and they just looked it over and claimed ownership of the expert layout. Kelly was on maternity leave for her six weeks and then decided not to come back so that meant the guys were probably thinking of…oh, she thought as she watched how he kept edging the screen toward her. They were thinking of adding that to her to-do list of growing job responsibilities.
“The text is in the wrong spot. This is not a quick fix you guys. We’ll need to work on this for a while.”
“Ah yes. You can do it,” Eddie said. “We have absolute faith in you. I have some legal stuff to handle.” He excused himself from the office. Justin started shuffling around papers like he, too, had a lot to do all of a sudden.
“Don’t even think about it,” she said as she tilted the screen so he could help with the disheveled mess. “You know you should hire a new employee to handle this. They’ll be able to keep a closer eye on things so it doesn’t get this messed up.”
“You’ve been doing a great job at it already.”
“Me?” She was shocked because she didn’t hear any sense that he was talking about just what she had been doing for the last half hour.
“Yeah. Why do you think we have been using you to communicate with the layout and design department.”
“And the communications between the writers, photographers, and everybody else,” she nearly let those words roll off her tongue with a slight hint of bitterness.
“Yeah. You’re great. You’re multi talented and Eddie and I decided to add it to your list of responsibilities. You’ll stay in your office and keep on reporting directly to us. You’re getting a raise too. A solid six figures for you.”
She sighed. While she would love the extra money—she could buy a lot of fabric with that and maybe even build a room onto the house that was nothing but closet space—she still would have preferred it if they had talk
ed to her first about it instead of just assuming she wanted the add on. And add on is exactly what he said it was which meant he still wanted her to do the same job she had been doing by keeping his ducks waddling in a steady row.
One hour turned into two, and quickly into six. It was nearly six thirty by the time they got everything sorted out. She received thanks that was sincere enough, but something else had her mind edging toward anger.
“Can you still come in tomorrow? One more run through and I’m going to put this through to print early.”
“Yeah. I can come back to work, but I’m escorted now so I’ll have to come in a little later and leave before nightfall.”
“Deal,” they both said at the same time with a large smile and a sealed deal handshake.
The office was empty by the time she and the deputy walked out of the building. The parking lot looked sparse too, but that didn’t stop the man from being highly vigilant. The great thing about leaving after six meant traffic had died down some and they had made it back to Takahiro’s home in just under an hour and a half. Deputy Sharron had walked her to the door and inside the home. She could hear the shower going so she told the man to go on home because she would be fine. He left with a solid admonishing to lock the door, which she was going to do anyway.
After watching him drive off she went to the guestroom and started pulling off her day wear so she could take her own shower. With the suit jacket nicely hung she was just about to start on the top and the skirt when a very angry Takahiro stormed into the room.
Her eyes caught sight of the anger in his eyes but that wasn’t what had her struck silent. The man was standing there with a towel wrapped around his waist, water pellets dripping down his chest, a very nice muscular chest that she just wanted to go over to and lick him dry. God the man was hotter than hot, and he was standing there practically naked.
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