“I need you to hold me,” I whispered. “More than anything, Cade.”
The sorrow in his eyes darkened and I gasped when he reached down and scooped me into his arms, water dripping a trail from the bathroom back to the bedroom where he lay me down gently on the bed and curled beside me.
MY HEAD THROBBED, PAIN EXPLOSIVE in both palms, but her scent saturated me and faded everything else. It wasn’t her pillow or her memory, it was her. Her silky strands fell in layers over my chest, her soft cheek resting on my ribs. The curves of her naked body curled around my own. She was home.
I couldn’t breathe from the pure elation of having her in my arms. Nothing would ever erase how I found her. Knowing what he’d been doing to her. I wasn’t prepared for the outcome I got but I should have known not to underestimate the bastard.
“He has your tattoos.” Her voice was so small I was sure I’d imagined her words. Her body shifted from mine until she looked up at me. “He even has your tattoos. How did I break him so fully, Cade?”
Dante was a twisted fuck who dabbled in what he made. Even drug dealers never sampled their own product. Dante was creating his and it put him on the path of destruction. Faye didn’t know I once kept tabs on him. I wanted to find him when he disappeared and cut us all out of his life. When he broke her heart. I needed answers and instead found him in a volatile mood, with some whore in his bed. He didn’t want to talk or listen to me. I followed him around for a week before I determined he was never like us and would never come home. If I’d known how much of a dark path his soul had gone down I would have stepped in but I wasn’t a fucking saint. I had my own dark corners and questionable patches in my life; I never let any of it touch Faye, though. How could I let him do this to her, to us? I needed answers. I needed to know what he put her through and why.
“Faye, can you tell me what happened?”
Her whole frame stiffened against me. She pulled away and rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door closed. I heard the taps turn on and what sounded like whimpering.
A loud knock on the bedroom door startled me. I didn’t want whoever it was to hear my girl breaking, so I wrapped the sheet around my waist and went to the door, slipping out of the room.
“Hey,” Amy said, looking over me, a worried frown marring her pretty features. “How is she?”
I swallowed the scream threatening to tear me apart and shrugged my shoulders. “I’ve never felt this helpless before. How do I get her through this?”
“Patience.” Fucking patience? I wanted to fix her now, erase every bad thing he ever did to her. Amy reached onto her tip toes, slinging her small arms around my shoulders and hugged me to her. She had been a Godsend over the last few months.
The door clicking open and then shut with an “Oh, sorry” made Amy pull away. I opened the door and found Faye in a dressing gown. “I didn’t, I should have . . .”
“What, baby?”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She shook her head and lowered her eyes to the floor.
I marched over to her, raising my hand to cup her chin. She flinched, shattering my soul. Amy’s gasp brought my eyes to her. She was looking at the bruises coloring Faye’s neck.
“You never have to fear me, baby.” I pushed past the hurt and anger simmering under the surface of my façade. I needed vengeance.
“I’m sorry.”
Fuck, I couldn’t handle this.
“Cade.” Amy said my name with caution. “This was delivered to the room, it’s for Faye.” She opened her palm which had a cell phone in it. I snatched it from her.
“Who the fuck delivered it?”
“Someone left it at reception. I went down to collect it. I didn’t tell Frank, I came straight to you.”
The phone sparked to life in my hand.
Incoming call from Dante
That motherfucker! Pressing end, my eyes went to Faye who stared at the cell like it was about to explode and kill us all. Silent seconds passed as I tried to comprehend that he knew exactly where we were and was contacting Faye like he hadn’t kidnapped her at all.
Beep, beep.
Multimedia message.
The phone disappeared from my hand in a flash. Faye took off running and locked herself in the bathroom with the phone. My head felt too heavy for my shoulders; the room was spinning. Amy’s hand curled around my bicep, guiding me to sit on the bed.
“I’m going to get Alex.”
I SAW THE DESTRUCTION OF his heart flicker in his eyes as I snatched the phone from him. My own heart was about to implode. I would rather have died than let him see any video Dante had of me.
I clicked the video and muted the sound. It was of me naked and bound in red fabric. It lasted only seconds.
The phone rang in my hand and I answered it.
“I fucking hate you!”
“Keep telling yourself that, Star. You belong here with me and I’m already having withdrawal symptoms. I will give you a month! And Star . . .”
“What?”
“I know everything. You never know who is really working for me. You let him fuck you, even touch you and I’ll know . . . and I’ll kill him.”
“You’re killing ME, Dante. Please untouch me, unlove me, unhate me; delete it all. Erase us and let me do the same. Let me go. Please.”
His bitter laugh echoed down the line, stabbing the knife already burrowed in my heart further in. “I could never do that! You have my baby inside your womb. Things are how they were always supposed to be. You belong here with me and you’ll come home and play your role.”
“This is not a fucking game!”
“You’re right about that! I only play with my prey and you, my Belle, want to be with me, want me to punish and break you down just as much as I want to do it. You crave the hunger I elicit inside you! I’m your prey and we both know it.”
He was so wrong. I only craved Cade. He fulfilled everything I ever wanted and Dante had destroyed us.
“See you soon, my Belle.”
The line went dead.
I caught sight of my own reflection; I couldn’t bear to look at myself. Anger, grief and self-hatred bubbled to the surface. I threw the phone into the mirror, shattering it into a million pieces that could never be fixed. Just like me.
The door crashed open from the weight of Cade’s shoulder ramming it. He reached for me but I stepped back, raising my hands to stop him.
“Don’t touch me,” I begged. Ignoring the verbal bullet killing him, Amy ushered him out and reached for me. Her soft warm hand curled around my own, pulling me from the bathroom and leading me to sit on the bed.
“You’ve cut your feet. I’ll clean them up for you.”
I didn’t answer. I just stared into space, everything disappearing around me as I retreated inside myself.
I needed a little time to breathe. I believed I knew what grief was, what lonely was, heartbreak. I’d lived at the height of love, and at the bottom, and this was the most brutal pain I had ever experienced. It was like someone was sitting on my chest, sucking out my soul from the inside. I wanted to be with Cade, I wanted to be wherever he was. I wanted to marry him and bear his children, and live the life we planned but Dante took an eraser and scrubbed out that future. He wanted me and I would never be free of him. Cade would never be safe. This baby would never be safe.
“I know everything. You never know who is really working for me. You let him fuck you, even touch you and I’ll know . . . and I’ll kill him.”
I closed my eyes to the relentless replay giving me a headache. I couldn’t do this. I needed space.
I COULD FEEL HIS QUESTIONING eyes on me, his pity a filthy stench around me.
“What do you want, Jenson?”
I continued to pummel the bag, relishing in the sweat that stung my eyes, each pound on the stuffed leather causing a pain to shoot through my hands and triggering a fresh outpour of blood. I needed the blood; I needed to know I could still bleed. I wasn’t sure I was living anymore.<
br />
“Where is Faye, Cade?”
I winced when my teeth sank into my bottom lip and I closed my eyes for a second, catching the bag as it swung back at me. I straightened my shoulders and ran my tongue over my retreating gums. “Home.”
He paused, taking a step further towards me. “No she’s not. I’ve just come from upstairs.”
I laughed, shaking my head at his stupidity. “Not my home. Hers.”
“What?”
His shock matched mine when we’d flown back home and Faye had told me she needed to go back to her place. Needed space and time, she said. Still loved me, she said. Fuck, if she loved me, why did it feel so damn agonizing?
His silence was loud, his unsaid words expressive. “Cade.”
“Don’t!”
Ignoring him, I turned to the punch bag again, savoring the pain that overruled all other senses. I needed it to hold me up. Without the stimulant of agony I knew I would sink to my knees and let the grief consume me.
“You let her go?”
I turned on him so fast his eyes didn’t have time to widen before his back hit the floor and my fingers clawed his throat, my thighs trapping his chest tightly beneath me as I leant within an inch of his face. “Tell me what I’m supposed to do, Jen. Lock her up again? Hold her here even if she doesn’t wanna be here? That would make me as bad as him!”
He didn’t fight me. And it wasn’t because he knew he could never take me on. It was because he hurt for me. He was my best friend and he desperately wanted to take all this away from me. Just like I wanted to for him whenever life took him down.
He nodded, understanding. “But you’re gonna fight,” he choked out around my hold, making me realize just how tight my grip was on him. “You’re gonna bring her back?”
“I can’t not. I need her to breathe. To live.” I closed my eyes to the sound of my own despair. I would only allow Jenson to witness it. And he was the only one who wouldn’t judge me for it.
“Is she safe?”
I stared at him. “You know me better than that. Of course she’s safe. I have Grant and Sed ghosting her. And she has Frank.”
The door opened and we both turned. Amy’s eyes widened and she slammed to a halt when she found us in what must have looked like quite a romantic moment.
“Oh my God,” she screeched, backing out of the door with her eyes screwed shut. “I’m so sorry!”
Both Jenson and I stared at the door when it closed again. I couldn’t hold back my own laugh when Jenson spluttered out his. “Jesus H Christ. That is one ditzy bitch!”
Our hysterics died and I lifted myself off the floor, my fingers squeezing my temples. “I need to get drunk!”
“And I know just the place.” Jenson grinned as he slapped me on the back.
“YOU NEED TO BANG THAT!” I looked at Jenson through hooded eyes, pointing vaguely in the direction of the stripper flouncing her huge tits on the stage, her shaved pussy right in line with our eyes.
He nodded then sighed sadly. He was as drunk as I was. “I miss the fun we had in college, Cade. You remember that stunning Chinese girl we spit roasted. Fuck!” He held both hands up, curling his fingers into imaginary tits.
I scoffed, shaking my head and blowing out a breath at the sudden rise of nausea. Shit, I’d had way too much. “Chen!” Her name burst into my mind for some inexplicable reason. I hadn’t thought of her since I was eighteen.
Jenson nodded, pointing a finger at me. “Yeah, that’s her.” He sighed contentedly. “Chen!”
We both shifted in our seats as visions assaulted us of that conquest many years ago. Fuck, I was horny.
“But you know, no bitch comes anywhere near Faye in the sack. Fuck, she’s incredible. Knows how to move those sexy little hips she has. And Christ, when she palms her tits and rolls her fat nipples in her fingers. Makes me shiver, man. I swear she does it to torture me. She uses her pussy to get her own way.”
“That’s a bitch thing,” Jenson slurred, trying to take a sip of his Jack but giggling like a girl when he missed his mouth and it trickled down his chin.
I nodded, agreeing with him.
“Most women want commitment. I offered that to Blue and only asked for loyalty and orgasms in return. That’s all I asked for!”
“And to put it up her ass.”
“Up the ass is a given in relationships.” Snorting, I knocked back a shot and chased the burn with a cold mouthful of whatever the bartender filled my glass with. “Cade? It is, right? Don’t be playing with me.”
“I need Faye.” I groaned, shifting on my stool to accommodate my hard dick. “Fuck, so bad. I haven’t felt her sweet pussy in so long. I’m so hard I’m gonna knock some fucker out if I stand up.”
Jenson reared back, staring at me with narrow eyes. “You need to do something about that!”
“Yeah but it’s not the same. I can’t even jerk myself off as good as she does it.”
“Pfft,” Jensen grumbled, nodding his head sadly. “Then get round there and fuck your girl!”
“I can’t just turn up and fuck her.”
“Why?”
“Because . . .”
“She’s your fiancée, damn it! It’s a given right that once you slip a diamond on her finger, her sweet little cunt should be paying you back for that rock in installments.”
My head bobbed manically as my eyes followed each stab of his finger in the air with each word. “What? That’s shit. I gave her a ring ‘cos I want to marry her! She’s my everything. I nearly lost her. Why does it feel like I still have?”
“Yes. But,” he pointed to me again, the tip of his finger catching my eyeball and making me blink and squint at him, “A ring is a symbol, man. A ring for a ring.”
My face screwed up in bewilderment. He’d completely ignored everything I said about the ring. “What the fuck are you on?”
“The ring. You give her a ring; she gives you her ring back! It’s how it works.”
“Really?”
“What the fuck, Cade? Where the hell have you been since evolution? What the hell did you think the engagement ring symbolized?”
“Well.” I shrugged, grabbing onto the bar when my ass slid slightly off the stool. “Eternal love. You know, no end.”
His jaw dropped as he stared at me. A bark of laughter spluttered from him. “Shit man, that’s the religious ex . . . explanation.” He burped loudly, rubbing his chest. “To the non-religious.” His finger moved to and fro between us. “It means an eye for an eye.”
“But I don’t want her eye. I want between her thighs right now. I want to own her fucking heart like she does mine.”
He rolled his eyes. “Freaking hell, you thick shit. It’s a meteorfall.”
“A what?”
“A meteorfall. You know, one of those comparison things. A sim . . . simil. . . . simile. A meteorfall!” He gave me a firm nod, this time with a bit of a wobble.
“You fucking dick, that’s a metaphor!”
“Yeah. That’s what I said! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I shrugged. “I’m not drunk enough to make sense of your crap.”
“My crap is serious crap, man. You know I’m right. You just hate it when you know you’re not as slick as me!”
I laughed loudly, kicking my foot out and catching his leg. “How many times have I told you to stop smoking that shit?”
He smirked and I groaned when I knew what was coming. That one night at school would haunt me forever. Bastards!
“We both know who actually smokes shit!”
“Fuck off!”
He jigged about in his seat, barking loudly at me. “Your fucking face when the guys told you. You barfed your fucking guts up!”
I glared when he fell about in hysterics, his fist thumping the bar as he roared harder. “It stank, and you never freaking smelled it!”
“Fuck you!” I gagged, my mind replaying the assholes that had rolled dried dog shit and told me it was good stuff. Hell, it was my firs
t joint, how the fuck was I supposed to know what it tasted like?
“You . . . you . . .” Tears streamed down his face as he pointed at me. “You smoked the lot. Jesus holy fuck!”
He didn’t laugh when I shoved him. His body teetered backwards in slow motion, his fingers clawing the bar in a useless grip as his legs rose in the air and he tipped backwards, landing on the floor with a hefty thump, an ‘oomph’ bursting from his lungs.
“Now who’s fucking slick?” I winked at him.
He sighed, looking up at me from the ground. “Blue left without a word again. I fucking hate her. I swear to God I’m done fucking that bitch, even if she has a magic pussy and lets me in the rear entry. Oh, and head. That woman sucks like she’s getting paid to do it.”
I checked my phone for the hundredth time, reading a message from Frank telling me my girl had cried herself to sleep. How did I end up here, off my face with my best friend, both of us pining for women who abandoned us?
“I’m going to fuck that stripper in the ass and tape it then send it to Blue!” Jenson announced waving her over. “You want me to buy you a lap dance?”
He should have known better than to ask that. No stripper pussy or ass wriggling up on me would do shit for me. I needed my girl. I’d give her tonight, but tomorrow if she wanted to be at her home I’d be there too.
“Hey,” the stripper said. “Oh, fuck. You’re the lead singer from Beneath Innocence!”
“My cock needs attention.”
“Oh my God. Come into one of the private rooms and I’ll take care of that for you.”
Lucky prick.
PULLING MY ROBE TIGHTER, I stared out of the kitchen window, appreciating the view. The poplars were thick now, their leaves a mass of green, their branches thick and powerful.
The kettle clicked off and I mindlessly filled my cup, wondering whether I could stomach milk with my coffee. After piling two heaped spoons of sugar in, I picked it up and walked out to the veranda, slowly lowering myself onto the top of the steps that led down to the garden.
CADEnce (Deception Book 2) Page 6