No Choice

by Mel Todd

  “Fine, fine. JD, call peeps. And…” she paused for a moment then shrugged. “Call Toni, let her know?” Jostling caused her to close her eyes in pain, pain that felt different. “I think I might be about to pass out.”

  The world went black, and no matter what the voice said she sank into the abyss.

  Chapter 26 - Hospitals

  Information has filtered out about an important aspect to shifting. There are a few people with damaged spines that were affected by the ability to shift. Their spines repaired, and when they moved back into a human form, the damage was gone. Further research conducted by medical doctors being presented in an article for a medical journal implies that flesh wounds will heal completely. However, if the bone is broken and not aligned correctly when the shifting happened it will heal incorrectly, requiring the bone to be broken again to heal correctly. It seems at least for a few people the ability to shift is definitely a blessing. The news cuts away to follow a man who is walking again after being paralyzed for the last year from the neck down after an accident. ~ TNN News

  Flickering images, bright lights, people with masks leaning over her, JD’s voice, an overly sweet taste that took away her cares, then she found herself awake in a hospital room, with Holich talking quietly to JD. They both turned as she croaked out, “wha happ’n?”

  JD moved over to her putting ice in her mouth which helped a lot. She closed her eyes, trying to marshal her energy, but hunger clawed at her insides.

  “Hey, don’t talk.” His voice remained low, and for a minute she just listened, unable to even form thoughts. “They had to operate, because of where the bullet was in relation to your heart. They had to come in from the side and remove it. It had nicked your liver and was in danger of moving to impact your heart. They got it out and sealed it up. You should be fine. The docs said they think if you shifted it would heal faster, but they want to give you a day or so to make sure nothing else happens.”

  She nodded, trying to figure out how to explain the starvation clawing at her insides. “Kay,” slipped from her mouth and she licked her lips trying to focus.

  “Kenna, what’s wrong?” JD leaned close and Holich filled her field of vision as she tried to articulate the clawing need that shredded her mind and body.

  "Starving," the word came out cracked and broken. Anne furrowed her brow but JD paled.

  "Oh shit." He looked at her IV, pale skin, and he paled. "This isn't good. Give me a minute." He started to turn but Anne stopped him.

  "What's wrong? You always wake up after surgery hungry. They'll let her have some Jell-O and stuff soon."

  "She got tazed, she shifted, got shot, then shifted back, she's burned thousands of calories. She needs massive amounts of calories like now. Let me get a nurse and a doctor in here." He left before Anne could stop him. She turned to look at McKenna frowning.

  "I saw you eat before, is it that serious?"

  Hunger and the cat clawed at her brain, the cat desperate to eat and to lick her wound, the odd feelings caused a wave of dizziness and she fought to swallow past the desert in her throat.

  "Don't know. Usually eat immediately after…. How long since shot?" The words were scratchy and raw, and Anne offered her some more ice, which she took gratefully.

  "Between surgery and your recovery, it's been about fourteen hours. It's almost eleven."

  She tried to get her mind to click that meant all she had was that bagel in the last thirteen or so hours. She tried to sit up, but the movement caused a fresh wave of pain and Anne lunged forward.

  "Don't do that, they had to cut you open to get to the bullet. You need to lay there and rest."

  McKenna wanted to protest, needing to move, to shift, to eat. Everything beat at her making it harder to think. Voices in the hallway pulled her attention away from her own issues, and JD stormed in followed by a nurse and a doctor.

  "I don't care what you're babbling. She can't eat for another few hours, until we've made sure everything is sealed. A human can go for a while without eating, it won't kill her."

  "You are not listening to me. She shifted, that burns thousands of calories, she needs the food before her body starts to cannibalize itself."

  The doctor, an older man with silvery hair and glasses, peered over his glasses at JD. "That is all supposition, none of this has been studied. She'll be fine."

  McKenna raised her arm meaning to get their attention and moaned as a fresh wave of pain hit her again.

  "Dammit, now you've agitated her." The nurse snapped and reached forward pushing a button on the machine connected to her IV. "There, I dumped in some more morphine that will put her sleep and lower the pain. I'll see if she can have some Jell-O in a few hours."

  "Oh, no." JD muttered and McKenna looked up at him as she felt the burning in her veins from the drugs.

  She'd had morphine before and remembered a pleasant heaviness like a weighted vest over her. But this time it attacked, sleep and numbness spreading through her, and the cat fought back. She arched in the bed as she fought the drugs, screaming as the wound tore open. It was too much, and the cat surged forward snarling, attacking the tube feeding the drugs into her body.

  "Kenna!" The shout pulled at her and she looked for the friend, and JD loomed in front of her as she thrashed in the bed, pain pulling at her as she moved. A high whine escaped, and she turned to look at the wound in her side, bleeding sluggishly. Driven by instincts and needs she couldn't understand she licked at it, tasting the bad drugs in the wound, antiseptics, and other tastes that were wrong in her blood.

  Screams and shouts made her look up and snarl, knowledge fighting with the need to run, hide, and heal.

  "EVERYONE OUT!" JD's bellow made her curl up, ears back, snarling at the chaos, unable to find an escape.

  "Get those damn idiots out of here, now, Holich. Then go down to the cafeteria and get all the meat you can carry, cheese, anything protein or fat based. Hell, I don't care if it is raw at this point as long as it is not frozen. GO!" He bodily shoved everyone out of the room, his bulk allowing no argument. McKenna twitched an ear as a part of her laughed. JD never cussed, ever.

  If he's cussing, am I dying?

  Shutting the door, he jammed the door wedge under it with a vicious kick, then taking a deep breath and turned and looked at her. McKenna snarled, but it wasn't anger, it was a mix of pain, fear, needs she couldn't understand, and her ability to push it down and act calm had vanished.

  "I'm so sorry, Kenna. I should have made them listen. Give me a minute okay?" She hunched her shoulders and redirected her attention to the wound, licking it, hating the tastes that coated her tongue. Part of her winced in disgust, but it soothed her, even as she tracked his movements with twitches of her ears and darted looks.

  Going over to the closet in the room he pulled out two blankets and made a nest out of them, then added pillows along the side. She paused in her licking, her two essences agreed that his actions were interesting. He stood moving over to her.

  "Kenna, will you let me pick you up, carry you over there?" He stood waiting, and she glanced at the distance. Her instincts told her she could leap that without effort, her wound and pain made her reluctant to.

  She pulled away from the wound and nodded. His large arms slipped under her, lifting her body with ease.

  I'm never going to be able to tease him about weight lifting again.

  The thought made her whiskers twitch, but then she had to focus on not reacting as even his gentle action caused pain to lance through her. But in a moment he had settled her down on the floor. She pawed at the blankets, turned once, then curled up in them, the movements slow, but it felt good to be nearer the ground, and then he slid down to the floor next to her. His heavy hand lay gently on her shoulder as he sat next to her unconcerned about the claws and teeth. That attitude made her feel even safer, and she relaxed trying to put together why the cat reacted differently from herself.

  "I'm sorry, Kenna. I should have stopped them. Though I'l
l admit to you, this worries me. I know you're in there. But it seems when you change without your conscious choice, the animal is in control, reacting. That isn't good, but I think we'll be fine." Absently his hand ran down her back and over her ribs.

  "Ack," he yanked his hand back and sighed. "Sorry, I know you aren't a cat, it’s just instinct to pet fur I guess."

  She just hunched a little tighter, not wanting to admit how good it had felt, but the panic subsided, and she tried to figure out what happened. Something in her fought the drugs and forced her to change. She had not even considered changing, but the cat took over in a wild panic over the drugs flooding her system. Why? Surely, they had given her the drugs before, why now did the cat fight?

  All I have is more questions. Hell, one of the questions is, do I still have a job at this point?

  Before she could spiral too hard into that mess of stress a thudding sound came from the door. JD got up and walked over.

  "Yes?"

  "I've got the food."

  The words had her head jerking up, and then a whine slipped out as the movement pulled at the wound.

  JD pulled out the wedge and opened the door to reveal Anne holding a large stock pot, with a bag hanging from her wrist. "They were making pot roast. I cleaned them out of everything meat based even if they protested about the well doness of it. And I've got cheese and some bread here, I noticed earlier your human forms didn't mind and I've seen my cats eat weird stuff."

  "I doubt she'll care right now. The meat and cheese are full of calories, and I think that is what she needs." He hesitated, then admitted, "I hope I'm right, I'm just guessing here."

  McKenna had already pushed to her feet, mouth-watering as the scents pulled saliva from her, as her claws extended digging into the blankets.

  "I don't think she cares. Here." Anne handed him the stock pot, and he turned to see McKenna standing there, eyes on the pot.

  "Me either," he muttered as he sat it in front of her.

  All thoughts fled as she stuck her head in the pot and grabbed a mouthful of meat. The flavors exploded, and she tore a piece off, swallowed, and tore another piece off. The next ten minutes were spent stuffing food into her system as fast as she could tear and swallow, fighting with herself to make sure the chunks she tore off were small enough to swallow.

  The pot was empty, and she slumped a bit, but the gnawing hunger had left. She stepped back into her nest, turning once, then curling to lick at the wound, but it had healed more and was only an open raw spot.

  "Here." JD's voice caused her to pull out of the now existence the cat created. He held out a chunk of cheese. With careful deliberation, she took it from his hand, chewing it, letting the rich fat coat her tongue. Apparently, she needed that because she ate everything he gave her, until it was gone, then she tucked her head under her paw, trusting him to guard her, exhaustion pulled her down into a dreamless sleep.

  Voices woke her, and she lifted her head to see JD talking to three people at the door. McKenna rose and stretched. It ached, but the pain of yesterday was gone.

  "No, you aren't going to poke at her. Honestly, I'm still considering telling the police union to press charges. You know I'm her medical care advocate, and you didn't listen." His voice remained calm and even, but she recognized that unbending stance.

  With both of them being single, and either no parents or estranged from them, they had made each other their legal medical advocates. In all the hours together they both knew what the other would want in any circumstance.

  Moving with inherent catlike silence she bumped his leg, and he glanced down. "Feeling better?"

  McKenna nodded, yawning. It felt good and had the added advantage of the people JD had been arguing with backing away nervously. A self-satisfied feeling ran through her.

  "I got it, but you owe me. My credit card is starting to hurt." Anne's voice came through as she pushed through the people. She had two bags in her hands and the mouthwatering smell of bacon surrounded her.

  "Now go away, I'm going to see to my partner as you obviously can't." He shut the door in protesting faces and leaned against it, his bulk as good a barricade as anything else in the room.

  "I think you need to change back. Anne brought a ton of food. I looked at the wound while you slept, and it looks like days if not weeks have passed instead of less than 24 hours. And, I'd really like to actually be able to talk to you again."

  The urge to stay a cat whispered through her, but this not talking did suck, and she felt like she needed to be her again, there was the vague feeling of something else guiding her as a cat, and honestly it freaked her out.

  She nodded and walked over behind the bed where the discarded gown she had wriggled out of earlier still lay. A deep breath and she called herself back, this time she had to fight for it. With effort, she pulled her sense of her human body into her mind and held it there. After a moment that lasted an eternity, she flowed back into herself, the cat grumbling, but subsiding. A surge of heat along her side accompanied the change, something she’d only noted the first time.

  Wobbling a bit, she grabbed the gown, pulling it up. "At this rate I really need to get over any body modesty. I seem to spend half my time naked in front of people. And JD we don't have that type of relationship." Her grouse had both JD and Anne smiling.

  "How you feeling, Kenna?" He asked, moving forward.

  "Hungry, but," she paused and pulled back the gown exposing where she had been cut. A red raised area where the bullet had gone in lay on her skin, above it a red slash where they had cut her open. She poked it, and it was tender, but it looked like it had healed for weeks, not hours. "How long was I asleep as a cat?"

  "Only about six hours. It's just five am." JD said, his eyes locked on the wound as she looked at him. "Bonus super powers?"

  McKenna bit her lip and shrugged. "I don't know. But I'm not sure if this makes it better or worse."

  “Both," Anne said dryly. "But on the bright side, I guess you don't need to take medical leave." She handed McKenna the bags of food. "Eat up, let's get the doctors in here, and then you have a test to take and superiors that want to talk to you."

  The words killed her appetite. "Joy. I think being shot was better."

  The other two snorted in agreement, and McKenna started to inhale the food.

  Chapter 27 - Moving On Up

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  After much protesting, two x-rays, and three vials of blood, the hospital let her leave eight hours later. McKenna wasn’t sure if the glares were from all the problems they caused, or her body not doing what they expected.

  JD led the way to his Hummer as Holich told them she’d meet them back at the station. And she had emphasized that detours were not allowed.

  “Want me to drive? Have you slept at all?” McKenna asked, looking at JD. The last twenty-fours he’d been dealing with her shit, and she’d barely said thank you.

  “You feel up to it?” He asked, turning to look at her, and she noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

  “Yes, actually. Whatever the shifting did when mixed with the food I feel pretty good.”

  "And your side doesn't hurt?"

  "Not really. A bit tender, like it is bruised or something, but that's it. Give me the keys, you look exhausted." McKenna held out her hand and was both relieved and worried when he dropped the keys in her hand. JD hated to let other people drive. It underscored how exhausted he must be. Guilt ate at her, but she couldn’t lay the blame at her feet for this one.

  Climbing in, she took a minute to adjust the seat so she could see correctly. Once buckled in she glanced and saw he already had his eyes closed and chair tilted back. With an eye roll she backed out and headed
to the station. The sun peeked through the clouds revealing what would be a typical sunny warm California day. She tried to pull in the joy of having a day of beautiful weather and a job she loved, but it wouldn’t come. The fear, questions, and confusion from the last few days clambered at her brain and made it impossible to talk.

  With an annoyed sigh she hit the radio, wanting to see what she had missed in the last day. Harvey Klein’s voice, a local talk show host, filled the car with his deep mellow sound.

  “A few days ago the death of two college students raised some questions as the condition of their bodies didn’t match what was known. However, the state just released the autopsy report, and their finding. The official cause of death is starvation. The supposition by the medical examiner is that a mixture of cocaine and LSD being used while they shifted back and forth caused their body to eat itself alive. So here is proof to the vague rumors filtering around the net, yes shifting burns calories, and you can die if you don’t eat. So, mom’s if your teenager tells you they are starving, maybe you shouldn’t ask if they are doing drugs, but if they are shifting. The new questions for parents in this decade.”

  McKenna hit the power button and glanced over at JD. He snored lightly, oblivious to the world. “You probably saved my life. I owe you.” Her words were soft but came from her soul.

  The miles were eaten up by the big car, making her feel isolated from the world. Time to face the internal issues.

  How the hell did I tackle that guy so perfectly, calculating exactly what to do? Why did the shift focus on healing the wound, how did my body know to spend energy there? And what are these symbols? And why only 2% of people? Why not more? Why almost all predators?

  The questions twisted and turned, but she didn’t have any answers, but one more question appeared.