The panic elapsed as quickly as it had come, but she knew the culprit could be identified easily if it returned. She took a deep breath, letting out an I’m-sorry-it’s-not-you.
Jake sat up and touched her cheek. He scooted closer and pulled her into his chest. “It’s okay. Relax.” He kissed her on the forehead. Venus curled up underneath him, closing her eyes, trying to block the picture of her mother, the bandage wrapped so tightly around her body, she wondered how she could breathe. The dry edges of her lips moving slowly to tell her to get out, to leave!
“I got you,” Jake whispered into her hair. He rocked her a tiny bit while Venus took in shaking breaths with each sob. “I got you,” he whispered.
REVELATIONS
BLAND grayness covered the room. Rain fell with a dull thud to the outside deck. From where she lay, looking out the window, the sky and the water all appeared as one thick fog. She lifted her lids high enough to see Jake’s chin above her head. Her eyes caught on the small scar in the center of his throat. Higher still, she saw his lashes flutter, but he was still asleep. She laid her head back on his firm chest and listened to his steady pulse. She wanted to slip her hand underneath his shirt to feel his skin. Pull on the drawstring of his pants and slip her hand down to feel his solid thighs.
It was all for the best that nothing happened last night. The regret would have swallowed her whole. But if she never got another chance, she would regret that, too.
Pauletta was going home today. That was how the head-butting began, the announcement that her mother was being kicked out of the hospital to fend for herself. After such a brutal physical attack, she was being sent home as if she had nothing more than a few stitches instead of the barbarism that was perpetrated on her body.
Venus felt Jake’s arm tighten around her. “You up?”
“Yeah.” She rested her head on her fist, balancing to stare at him.
“Hope your neck is okay, you slept in an awkward position.”
He tilted his head side to side. “Think I’ll live.”
The small conversation was feeling forced. Venus raised up, and threw her feet over the edge of the bed. “I should go in today”
“That’s not necessary. We’ve got it covered. Legend knows the situation. We’re all on the same side. He’s not going to do anything you wouldn’t approve of.” Jake reached out and stuck his hand through her hair, pulling a strand and letting it bounce back.
“You mean, like the T-shirt test.” She rolled her eyes and self-consciously stuck a hand through her hair where he’d touched. It was dry. She usually braided it at night to keep it tame for the next day. Ever since she stopped straightening her hair, she was on constant duty to keep it from frizzing too badly Her natural curls only acted right with a handful of goo and moisturizers. The steam from the bath last night didn’t help either. Right now she was representing Buckwheat to the fullest “I hope you have something I can work with.”
“Plenty of goodies.” He hopped out of the other side of the bed. “Really, though, we got things handled. Shaun is back.”
“Who’s Shaun?”
“My senior designer and right-hand man. Plus, what you’re dealing with is way more important.” He pulled on the drawstring of his pants that Venus had been eyeing. “Nothing crucial is happening today.”
“You’re just saying that cause you like me.”
That was a start. One solid chip of ice broken.
“I’m going to hop in the shower downstairs. You can use the bathroom up here.”
“I’m still coming with you to the studio.” She stood up. “Separate cars, of course.”
“Of course,” he said, before pulling the bedroom door closed.
VENUS followed Jake all the way downtown, changing lanes when he did, shifting and dodging the slow pockets on the 10 freeway like experts. She parked on the street while Jake took his spot in the monthly parking garage. It made sense to take separate cars. Later on, she’d planned to go straight to the hospital to check on her mother, even if she wasn’t wanted there.
It felt good being at work, having some type of control. Here, she was Venus Johnston, marketing genius and queen of the one-liners. There was nothing to hide, she kept telling herself, checking her makeup one last time. The only thing she’d had in her purse was a lip pencil and lipstick. She used the dark pencil on her eyes. After filling in her lips with the Cinnamon Stick color, she used it on her cheeks, smudging it in lightly. She played at her hair and hoped she looked like a stressed-out daughter dealing with a sick parent, versus a one-night-stand hoochie who’d spent the night at a man’s house without a change of clothes. She was both.
“Hey, Venus! You’re back?” William stood straight and tall in his steel-colored suit that matched his eyes. His usual neat cropped hair was filling into thick curly chunks. Did this man ever have a bad day? She hugged him for some unknown reason.
“Sorry to hear about your mom. Jake’s been keeping us updated. Our thoughts were with you all the way.”
“Thank you, William.”
“You want to see what’s going on in the studio before we go up?”
“Yeah, sure.” Venus pushed her bag strap closer on her shoulder, glad to be inducted so quickly into the brotherhood. She followed him into the studio where the sound of whizzing sewing machines and cutters filled the air. The hum of voices giving direction, yes, no, too much, too little. An excitement ran through her, she too had been bitten by the Barbie craze at one time, wanting to be a fashion designer. Walking among the real thing was invigorating.
“Check this out.” William walked over to a group of women who didn’t look like the usual model types. They were thick sisters with tiny waists and bubble bottoms. Hips. Oh my!
“Ladies, this is Venus Johnston, the marketing coordinator for the new young women’s collection.” They all turned around and spoke hellos. Their eyes turned quickly back to William. He blushed enough to maintain his shy act.
“New fit models, just like you said.”
“Impressive,” Venus said, looking over the statuesque women; then it hit her, maybe they were too good-looking. “Has Jake seen them, I mean, it was his decision I’m assuming?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Great.” Her toes felt crushed. She had a major complex about her size. Women stacked with fullness in all the right places made her feel small and inadequate. “That’s perfect. It’s going to make a huge difference in how the line sells. Gotta have real bodies.”
“And they do.” William waved baby bye-byes to all the models. They responded in kind.
“There you are.” Another model, Venus assumed, came toward them. She was a little older than the rest but still had all the other requirements, long legs and thick thighs. Her crop top revealed a lean belly with a gold loop piercing.
“Venus, this is Beverly Shaun. She’s the senior designer for JPWear.”
Venus stammered, “Hello, nice to meet you.” She stuck out her hand for a strong, confident shake even though she’d been thrown by the realization that this beautiful woman was Jake’s right-hand man.
“Oh, I’m so glad to finally meet you, too. I was out of town for those first days you were here, then you were out of circulation, so finally, great, we meet.” She shoved her mass of honey-brown hair to one side of her shoulder. Her hair, eyes, and skin all seemed the same color, like a bronzed statue. “Jake told me it was your idea to change the fit models. I can’t tell you how long I’d been suggesting that very thing, but no one would listen to me.” A smile appeared, then faded.
“I know how that is.” Venus turned quickly to William. “We better get going; it was nice meeting you, Beverly”
“Oh, I may as well come up with you guys. I usually sit in on the morning meetings.”
“Right, okay.” Venus found herself leading the way to the conference room, a strange cloud of jealousy trailing her. The fit models, and now this bombshell who was working directly underneath Jake, made Venus suddenly sick.
Legend was already seated, going over a report in front of him. He got up when he saw Venus. “I didn’t expect to see you for a while. Your mom doing okay?” His words held more sensitivity than she thought possible.
“As well as can be expected. Thanks for asking.”
He touched her hand. “Glad you’re back. It’s a lot of work running the show.”
“Yeah, right,” William let out in sarcastic agreement.
Beverly Shaun came in behind them and took a seat. Her ample breasts seemed to stay afloat at the table. “Are those the numbers from the T-shirt run?”
“Yep.” Legend slid them over for her perusal. He glanced toward Venus. She felt obligated to say something positive.
“That was fast. So how’d it work out?” Venus sat down across from the two of them. William found his place at the window overlooking the studio. “Sold out in every market. Definitely a winner.”
Venus took in a deep solid breath. It felt good to be confirmed on the choice of spokesperson although she much preferred being taken at face value. She only hoped she wasn’t right about the SOS alert to the competition that Lila Kelly T-shirts would surely send.
Jake walked in. He looked over her head and then right through her. “How’s it going? You guys getting started without me?” He sat down with his one container of coffee.
Legend and William looked at him oddly, then looked at each other. He was being too obvious by not even acknowledging Venus after being MIA for the past week. C’mon, she was thinking, get it together.
“Venus, it’s nice to see you. Glad your mother is doing better.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” Venus swallowed as if a large dry ball were lodged in her throat. “Looks like everything is going smoothly. I like what you’ve done here. The models, very crucial to how this is going to play out. And the T-shirt test, wow, Legend said it was a smash.” Her words were chopped wood.
Jake leaned back in his chair, a little more at ease. “So I’ve got what I need to move forward. But we’ll still need the dotted line signed.”
“I’m working on that.” Venus pushed her glasses up on her nose. “Lila Kelly will be in town and I’ve scheduled a personal meeting.” She felt better saying it, even though it was Jake’s setup. He understood. She needed her leverage back quickly.
“Excellent. And Beverly, how’s it going on your end?”
Venus looked between the two for hidden tension, checking the air for invisible lines and cross-communication.
“All the patterns had to be recut and regraded for the new models. The ad shoots are going to be pushed back anyway, right?”
“Nah, nah. Whether we get Lila or not, we’ve got to be ready. You will meet your deadline. Don’t even think like there’s leeway. Keebler elf style if you have to.”
Venus shot a look at Beverly to see how she took the reprimand.
“No problem.” Beverly smiled. She slid the print out down the length of the table. “Some exciting things are about to happen.” She looked like a little girl on her fifth birthday.
“Absolutely.” Jake caught the flying report down at the other end. “Absolutely.”
Venus stared between them, how ridiculous she must look, sitting there trying to pick up invisible clues about Jake Parson. What she truly knew about him could fill an aspirin bottle. She had no idea of his true motivations. What made him tick. She’d only assumed it was the status quo. Every man liked a good challenge. A solid brick wall to kick down so they’d feel victorious in the end. Thank God her cement was still intact. She’d almost fallen for the sweetness. The tender loving care.
“I’m sorry, I hate to interrupt, but what’s the Magic Show?”
“It’s the trade show for the urban sportswear scene. One giant showroom so the buyers don’t have to hunt you down.”
Venus felt silly for not knowing this information. She jotted down a few notes. “Is this something I should attend?”
“We got it covered.” Legend’s eyes shifted to William and Beverly, responding to the silent question of “who is we?”
“I see. So what’s the strategy for the show? Are you planning anything special or are you just going to hang clothes up on a hook?”
“Luckily, I secured a place in the runway showing. We get a ten-minute spot. That’s gold in itself; but no doubt, we’ll have our area hooked up. Billboards, standing models wearing samples, and best of all, me doing a lot of grin and grip.”
Somewhere in between Legend boasting about his ability to sell ice to Eskimos and sugar in a cane field, Venus blanked out. She was overtaken by visions of Jake massaging her body, smoothing rich warm cream onto her feet and legs, his soft firm hands trailing the length of her back. She could still feel him holding her through the night while she lay on his chest.
“It’s not going to make us or break us, whether our presentation is dynamic. It’s more out of respect, kind of a religious ceremony for the club of urban fashion, marking territory.” It was Jake’s voice, the only one that could have snapped her out of the scene she was reliving.
“Okay. Sure.” Venus could care less at this point. She looked at her watch. “I’m going to have to get a move on. Beverly, it was good to meet you. Glad you’ll be here to keep these guys under control.” Her delivery was a little slow, and no one responded to her attempt at satire. She turned to Jake, “You have my cell number if you need to reach me. Don’t hesitate to call if you want to discuss anything.” She rethought the wording. “Keep me in the loop especially if you get the call from Lila’s agency.” There, that was better. She slipped out of the double doors feeling like she was leaving something behind.
“Hey, where you headed?” Jake caught up with her, touching her elbow.
“It’s still early, I’m going to see if they released my mom yet.”
“I’m through here as well, I’ll tag along.”
“Oh, no, Jake, that’s not a good idea. It’s such a tense situation right now. Plus, I left Timothy with my parents all day yesterday, and he’s going to want to get out.”
He didn’t blink once, only waiting for her to run out of excuses. “Give me a call when things lighten up. Glad you confirmed our date to see Lila Kelly. I was getting a little worried.”
“Oh, no. I wouldn’t let you down. I’m in, definitely”
Venus moved swiftly out of the building. She didn’t like the way she felt. What was that all about? She had a man. A good man, who loved and honored her. Airic was too busy to do much more than that. She certainly didn’t have to worry about him with another woman. Not like Jake who was a flame to the multitude of moths flying in the night. Little fluttering winged insects like Beverly Shaun. Any woman with two eyes would find Jake Parson attractive, and if they couldn’t see, they could surely hear the mating call in his voice.
She pounded the car when her key didn’t slide in perfectly. It was so irritating, feeling this way. She had a man. She slammed the door shut and started the car. One was enough trouble, she certainly didn’t need to worry about two.
PARTS
VENUS drove straight to her apartment. She planned to change clothes before she saw her mother again. Even under duress, her mother had the ability to see disorder, things that were afoul and not quite right. Pauletta would notice that Venus was wearing the same red sweater, the same black skirt. Yes, she’d spent the night over another man’s house while she was engaged to be married to someone else. She wished she could say that to her mother—How come you know when something’s rotten in Denmark when it comes to me, but you can’t see how rotten things are with your own life?
Pauletta’s life, what Venus knew about it, had been textbook migration from the South. Venus’s grandmother Mimi had moved her four children, Pauletta, the oldest, Aunt Kat, Uncle Mike, and Uncle Jackson from Oklahoma to California in the late 1950s with no husband. They moved in with Albert, a cousin who had “done good for himself” working at Northrop as an assembly worker. Albert helped Mimi get a jo
b doing the same work at night, leaving twelve-year-old Pauletta as the overseer of the house with her three siblings. She cooked, cleaned, and helped everybody but herself complete their homework for school the next morning.
Pauletta met Henry when she was eighteen, when he walked into the corner market and bought a pint of cold milk. He peeled back the foil seal and drank it right there at the cash register. Pauletta was impressed that a grown man still drank milk and hadn’t graduated to Jim Beam like the rest she’d known. They were married three months later. Figuring the math on that one, Pauletta had to be carrying Venus at the time. She and Henry moved to a small apartment where he finished his education in the day and worked at night. Pauletta started working, too, as a cashier at the May Company department store but had to quit after a few months because of an aching back and swollen feet. Pauletta liked to brag about that being her first and last job. And Henry liked to brag that the only important job was taking care of him and his new baby. The end, at least to their version.
Pauletta conveniently left out the part where cousin Albert had been messin’ with her, trying to make a woman out of her since she was already doing the lion’s share. She couldn’t wait to get out of that house, away from Albert. Even though Henry Johnston wasn’t her dreamboat, just the fact that he’d docked by her side was enough. Pauletta jumped on board and sailed away. Henry was considered a good catch, educated with a future ahead of him. But he was never what anyone could describe as handsome. He had all the right ingredients, the rich chocolate skin, the sculpted nose and chin, but in all that, there was a goofiness about him, an okey-dokey-type personality that made his intelligence seem questionable, even though he was an honor student in the top percentile of his class. The bits and pieces of conversation Venus had assimilated over the years from Pauletta and her Sunday visits with her sister made it clear that Henry wasn’t the man she dreamed of, but he certainly made her dreams come true.
Venus would toss that around in her mind, the full meaning. Settling was such an ugly word, so she tried not to use it when telling their story. She tried not to use it when telling her own story as well; Airic wasn’t her first choice, but he was the choice she’d made. It wasn’t settling if happiness came in the long run.
Would I Lie to You? Page 11