by J. R. Tate
“No, I don’t want to. Go away.”
Eva turned to see if Mikey was awake, but he was deep in sleep, his words coming out in mumbles but audible enough for her to make them out. The edges of his hair were drenched in sweat. He needed his routine back, regardless of the situation. He was going crazy at home and she could tell he was wasting away. He had way too much time to think about stuff and that wasn’t healthy for anyone.
She was thankful when six rolled around. She was going in for her fourth consecutive shift and could use the sleep, but that obviously wasn’t being accomplished. She did her best to stay quiet as she showered and got ready, lightly kissing him on the forehead as she left. Michael’s eyelids fluttered a little and he mumbled. Smiling, she kissed him on the lips and made her exit. He finally appeared to be resting better and she didn’t want to mess that up.
The morning air was cool and crisp. The city was slowly awakening as morning commuters walked to subway stations. It was mornings like this that put her in a good mood. She couldn’t imagine living anywhere other than New York City.
Eva was jolted from her thoughts when she felt someone grab her from behind, pulling her into an alley. Their free hand covered her mouth. Her adrenaline began to pump. Her gut reaction was to kick whoever it was, but their grasp on her was strong as they pushed her against the wall.
“Damn, you’re even prettier up close. But then again, I got an eyeful the other night.” His breath was stale and she tried turning her face away. He dug his fingertips into her cheek and made her face him again. “Fireman knows how to pick them, especially after what I saw you do for him.”
“What do you want?” Eva’s words came out in short pants.
“I want you to give him a message for me. You tell him I’m well aware of the cops tailing me. You let him know exactly what happened today. The angrier he gets the better chance he’ll fuck up and I’ll have him for good, you hear?” His hand moved down to her neck, clenching it tightly, cutting off her air. “You do this for me or I’ll make sure you die slower than I had planned originally.”
His hand loosened, allowing for her to take a deep breath in. “Tell him yourself, or are you too chicken shit to do that, Viper? Too coward to show your face.”
Viper grinned, exposing his yellow teeth. “Oh, you’re feisty too. That makes you so hot. I like that.” He began to walk away, looking over his shoulder. “You tell him for me, honey. Oh, and have a great day saving the city.”
It took her a second to regain her composure. Smoothing her hands over her hair, she debated with herself on whether or not to tell Mikey. Viper was right. The madder he got, the more he would act out of anger and screw it up. If Michael knew Viper had laid his hands on her, things would go south in a hurry. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, even if it were Viper messing with her. But at the same time, this was what they needed to get enough evidence to arrest Viper. She definitely had to think about this. The cops were doing them no good so far, so would they in this situation too? She ran her fingertips down the side of her neck, feeling where it was already sore. She’d definitely have some marks there, so she adjusted her hair to cover it.
Despite the confrontation, Eva was only a few minutes late. Everyone was hustling around, getting ready for the day. Thankfully no one noticed her flustered demeanor and she went straight to the bathroom, digging out some concealer from her bag. It didn’t fully cover up his finger marks, but it was enough to take the dark color off. Her next mission was to talk to Captain Rooker.
He was reading the newspaper in his office and she knocked on the doorframe before entering. He looked up from the print, a small smile forming on his lips. “What can I do for you, Crisante?”
“Sir, I was wondering when McGinnis will be allowed to come back to work.” She knew that in house relationships were frowned upon. All the Captain knew, hopefully, was that they were just friends.
“How is McGinnis doing?” He folded the paper up and sat it down on his desk.
Eva contemplated his question. If she answered it a certain way it could really be bad for Mikey. “I think he really needs to get back on the truck, Sir.”
Captain Rooker leaned back in his chair. “What makes you think that, Crisante?”
“This is what he is. Right now he’s at home, meandering around the house with too much to think about. With all due respect, that will drive anyone crazy, dead friend or not. When you take what defines a man away, he’s left with nothing, making him more crazy than anyone thought he was before.” It came out more emotional than she had intended, but after the way her morning had started, she couldn’t help it.
The Captain nodded and remained silent for a few moments. “I see what you mean. I need him to come in for one more evaluation, just for the records so the brass doesn’t get onto me. Then we’ll get him back on the truck, okay? Don’t go run and tell him though. I don’t want to promise something that might not come through just yet.”
“Yes sir, and thank you. It means a lot.” At least something positive was going her way.
“I can’t believe you are hiding out so your brother can take the fall for you. That’s pretty shitty if you ask me.”
Casey stared across the bar at Nina, his current sexual interest. She wasn’t exactly what he found attractive. She had her strong points in satisfying him and that’s all he really cared about. He had been doing so good with avoiding bars and tempting situations until this crap with his bookie started, and now he was back to using and drinking.
“I’m not letting him take the fall for me.”
“Then what the hell would you call it?”
Casey traced his finger down the rim of his glass, craving the amber liquid within it. “I’m laying low. Viper wants me, not Michael. I’m hoping he’ll eventually lose interest and move along to his next victim.”
Nina shook her head no and wagged her finger in front of his face. “Viper doesn’t do that, sweetie. If he can’t get to you, your brother is a dead man, plain and simple. And by the looks of it, you’re being a candy ass coward by ducking your head in the sand and letting him be front and center in a hole you have dug yourself.”
Casey’s anger flared at Nina’s comments, but he would never admit that she was right. It was the story of their lives. Ever since Casey could remember, Michael was bailing him out of something. It still rang true in their adult lives. Guilt poured over him and he found himself gulping down the whiskey, the burn down his throat an instant comfort.
“This is none of your fucking business, Nina. I should’ve never told you a damn thing about it.”
Again, she wagged her finger in front of him and this time, he knocked it away from his face. “Casey my dear, you didn’t have to tell me shit. Word is out on the street about you and what’s gonna happen. As if people already didn’t think less of you, this is the cherry on top of a fantastic reputation you have shown the world.”
“I’ll take care of it.” He tapped the glass and the bartender refilled his whiskey. “I don’t know how, but I’ll take care of it.”
“You better, or that poor brother of yours is gonna be wearing cement boots down in the bottom of the Hudson if you don’t hurry!”
“Mikey, I think I’m gonna go to my apartment tonight and take care of some things there. It feels like eternity since I’ve been there.” Eva gripped her phone tightly as she waved bye to a couple of other paramedics. It was raining, adding to her damper mood.
“Okay. Is everything all right?”
She hated the fact that his voice was so full of question. She didn’t want to go over there because she had no idea what to do about her altercation with Viper that morning. That and she wanted to give the marks on her neck a day to calm down and not be so obvious.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just need to clean up a little and stuff. I’m not sure what it is about a place getting so messy when no one lives there.” She tried to joke with him to lighten things, but he was smarter than that and it m
ade it seem more obvious.
There was a short pause and it was awkward. “Well be careful. Viper could be watching you. I don’t want him to know you’re gonna be alone, okay?”
There was so much irony in his statement that she felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She needed to tell him. It would help solidify the case against the bookie. Eva was just scared that it would fuel the fire that was already burning out of control. People did stupid things when they reacted out of emotion. Right now she would stay silent about it, until she had time to mull things over a little more.
“Okay, Mikey. Everything is fine. I’m not mad at you or anything. Before I hang up, I wanted to let you know that I talked to Captain Rooker today.” She hopped over a puddle already beginning to form on the corner of forty second near her apartment. The rain accentuated the city smells. Steam rose off of the asphalt. She loved the atmosphere as everyone ran in different directions, dodging what would seem like toxic elements if someone were judging people’s reactions to it.
“You did? About?”
“About getting you back on the truck. He wants you to do one more evaluation, for legalities, and you’re pretty much set to get back to work. Do yourself a favor, Mikey. Get it done and get back to the firehouse. We miss you in uniform.”
“That’s what he said, he’d get me back? No strings attached?”
She dug in her pocket, fishing out her key. She dreaded to see how her apartment looked. “He said there was no guarantee.”
“Of course not.”
“Of course he’s gonna say that, just to cover his ass. Do the evaluation. That’s the last hoop to jump through.” She stopped at her entryway mirror and pulled her hair away from her neck. The outline of Viper’s fingers was still as dark as before. It was going to take days for it to fade. She’d eventually have to tell Michael.
“Okay, I’ll do that.”
“Good. I’m gonna let you go for now so I can get some work done. I’ll call you later.” She hung up the phone and stared at the wound for a few more seconds, the whole event replaying in her memory. Things were going to get a lot worse before they got better, and sadly, she was worried it would be Michael’s temper that would be their demise.
Michael woke up early the next morning and went for a long jog. He lost all track of time and found himself near the Brooklyn Bridge. Stopping at the beginning of the walkway, he looked up at the beautiful architecture of the bridge. Hundreds of people walked past him, all in a hurry to get wherever they were going. Bicyclists weaved their way through the maze of people, everyone paying attention to themselves.
His jog gave him time to think. Turning back around, he made his way back toward Hell’s Kitchen. He couldn’t believe he had trekked so far. He would estimate that it was almost a six-mile journey to the bridge from his house. The six miles back wouldn’t be as easy. He stopped along the way, taking in the city. He felt so out of the loop with not being on the truck. It was like the walls of his apartment became his own personal prison, out of touch with reality, in a place that drove him insane. Despite the fact that the city didn’t change much, things felt different. Eva was right. It was time to get that last visit with the psychologist done and get back to work. He had to get some form of normalcy back into his life.
Rather than going home, he stopped off at the firehouse. Everyone was sitting around, doing their thing as they waited for the gong to go off for a call. The absence of Darryl was obvious, but he shoved that thought back before it crept up and worked against him.
“Mikey! Long time no see!”
As he passed through the living area, various comments were made to him. He gave simple waves and responded with generic answers. Captain Rooker was in his office.
“McGinnis, it’s good to see you.”
“Yes sir.” He ran his hand through his sweaty hair. He felt a twinge of embarrassment shoot through him. His appearance was probably horrific. “I uhh, I was out running and wanted to stop by and see if I could get back with that psychologist. She wouldn’t happen to be in today, would she?”
The Captain sifted through his date book. “She’s at Rescue One today, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I gave her a call. At least she’s still in the borough. Won’t take her long to get here.”
Michael nodded. “Sure, if you guys don’t mind making an exception.”
“Hell son, we need you back. I’m willing to go to China to get you cleared if that’s what it takes. Now sit tight and I’ll get her down here.”
Michael sat down on the other side of the desk and observed all of the plaques and pictures he had hanging up. There were so many from the years he had served with FDNY. One’s that stuck out the most were from September eleventh. Ladder Twenty-One had lost some men on that day. He wasn’t a fireman back then, but those events were part of the reason he joined.
She arrived about thirty minutes later, which was quicker than he was guessing. “Let’s go back to the room we were in the other day, McGinnis. I’m really glad you decided to come back.”
He stood up and followed her, a lump forming in his throat. “Let’s get this done.”
Michael paced back and forth at his apartment. The meeting with the counselor went well. He had been cleared to go back to work, but with the way the scheduling was, tomorrow was his day off. He couldn’t help but think that was somewhat funny. Day after tomorrow he could get back to doing what he loved. Fears of course, came with it. What if Viper got back to setting fires? What if he broke in when he wasn’t home? So many what ifs. He had to just take it one day at a time.
Eva’s shift was almost over. He had missed her the night before. The bed was so empty without her there and he found himself wide-awake for most of the night. He sent her a text asking her if she would be coming over. His heart raced as he waited for her response. He felt like a lovesick teenager all over again, freaking out if his phone call wasn’t returned.
A few minutes later she responded, only with a ‘yes’ in the inbox. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but she seemed so distracted. There was more to her just needing to clean her apartment. It had never posed a problem before.
Michael sat down on the couch and flipped through TV channels as he anxiously awaited her arrival. Seven fifteen had rolled around and there was no sign of her. Sometimes it did take them awhile to restock the ambulance for the next shift, but after seven thirty he couldn’t help but wonder if they possibly got a huge call or something.
Finally, at eight, he heard the key in the lock. Trying not to seem flustered, he stayed on the couch and watched the obnoxious show he wasn’t really paying attention to.
“Hey Mikey.” She leaned down and gave him a peck on the lips. “I stopped off at the bar and had a few. How was your day?”
Michael clicked the TV off. “Pretty good. I start back at work day after tomorrow.”
She arched her eyebrow. “Yeah? That’s awesome, hon! So what do you wanna do on your last day off? I finally got a day off, too.”
Michael shrugged. “Hell, I don’t know. Try and trap Viper.”
Eva’s eyes shifted away from him and her body language suddenly became tense. Her awkward laugh was cause for suspicion, but he second-guessed himself. He was overreacting and reading into everything. She just seemed to shut down at the mention of his name.
“What’s wrong, Eva?”
“Nothing, why?”
“Your mood just drastically changed. You okay?” Again, her eyes stayed down on the floor. This definitely wasn’t his imagination. Sitting up, he edged closer to her, grabbing her hand. It was clammy and a tear ran down her cheek. “Did something happen?”
Nodding, she wiped the moisture from her face. “I’ve been debating on whether or not to tell you.” She paused and pulled her hair off of her neck, exposing some bruising on her skin. His anger flared but he didn’t say a word, allowing her to finish. “Viper confronted me yesterday morning on my way to work.”
Michael’s temper took over. �
��Confronted you? This is what you call confronting you? He put his hands on you! What did he say?” His voice got louder with each word.
“It was a wake up call. Said he wasn’t forgetting about us. I didn’t want to tell you, though. I was scared you’d overreact and not think clearly.”
He ran his fingertips over the marking, not able to comprehend the fact that Viper put his filthy hands on her. “It isn’t right, him pulling you in like this. I want you to understand that he won’t touch you ever again.”
More tears fell down her face and she leaned into him. “Mikey, promise me you won’t do something crazy. We gotta be patient. Don’t let this consume you.”
Chapter Eighteen
Michael couldn’t help but pace back and forth. He was anxious. It was the night before he went in for his first shift after Darryl had died. Now he had to go through all of the firsts without Darryl. The first morning without seeing Darryl cooking breakfast. The first morning that there would be no newspaper set out for Michael. The first call when he would notice his wingman was gone. At that very moment, he wasn’t sure if going back this soon was the right thing or not. It was going to dredge up old memories he wanted to keep buried.
Not only that, but now he had an even greater worry of Viper. He had put his hands on Eva. While he had promised Eva he wouldn’t act out of emotion, he still couldn’t shake the image of his dirty hands on the woman he loved. He just wanted to find him and beat the living daylights out of him but Eva was right. That’s exactly what Viper wanted him to do and it would just heighten their problem.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned his attention from the window. Eva handed him a beer and pulled him toward the couch.