by Lucy Clark
‘Not to mention Dr McElroy here loses her job.’
‘It’s inevitable that I’ll be losing my job,’ Jordanne said, not looking at Alex. ‘This needs to be brought out into the open, but by waiting until Monday it might force the hand of whoever is behind this fiasco. They’ve obviously been looking for the test results—the real ones—that weren’t supposed to be sent to me. As they haven’t found them, perhaps they think they’re still in the mail system.’
‘And they were where?’
‘In Alex’s car in the glovebox,’ she said with a smile. ‘It was unintentional. I just took them out on Friday night to show him later. As we were involved with an emergency and then returned to my house…’ Jordanne trailed off and shrugged. ‘We just didn’t get around to looking at them until this afternoon.’
‘I’ll contact you on Monday morning and I don’t want either of you doing anything heroic. Understand?’
They both nodded, feeling like schoolchildren. When the sergeant left, Jordanne relaxed into a chair with relief.
‘How did your office look at the IAS?’ Alex asked as he came to stand beside her.
‘Like my apartment,’ she answered.
‘I want you to spend the rest of the weekend with me. I don’t want you to be on your own.’ He placed his hands on her shoulders and began to massage. ‘Perhaps we can call Kirsten and ask her to come and help us clean up your apartment.’
Jordanne closed her eyes, relaxing even more beneath the masterful strokes of his hands. ‘Hmm. I don’t want to think about cleaning up just yet.’
His hands stilled on her shoulders and she turned to look up at him. ‘What’s wrong?’
He came around in front of her and leaned against his desk. ‘We need to—’
‘Talk,’ she finished for him. ‘Alex, if you’re going to tell me about your marriage and divorce, right at this moment in time I don’t want to know. It was in the past. Why can’t we just leave it there?’
‘Because in some instances the past affects the future. Actually, that wasn’t what I was going to talk to you about but it is something we still need to discuss, Jordanne.’
‘OK, but just not now.’
‘All right. While you were at the IAS with Dorne, I searched the internet to find out who the parent company is of the pharmaceutical firm.’ His tone held a note of worry in it and Jordanne’s apprehension grew.
‘And what did you find?’ she asked, not sure she was going to like the answer.
He stared at her for a long moment before saying, ‘It’s The Bransford Corporation.’
Jordanne gasped. ‘Norman Bransford’s company? Sally’s father?’
Alex nodded. ‘Took me by surprise, too.’
‘No.’ Jordanne shook her head. ‘There must be some mistake.’
‘No mistake.’
‘Is that why you wanted the police to wait until Monday before furthering their investigations?’
Alex nodded. ‘I wanted to talk to Sally first. See what she could find out.’
‘But her dad’s recovering from his car accident. I remember it clearly—he was the first patient I operated on with you, here at Canberra General. From what Sally’s said, he’s not even back at work yet.’
‘I know.’
‘I guess in the past I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d been involved in something like this. My memories of Norman Bransford whilst I was at medical school aren’t the most pleasant. He tried to bribe me to convince Sally to give up medicine.’
‘I know all about your history with the Bransfords. Why do you think Jed was so against Sally when she first came to work with him? Anyway, that’s water under the bridge now, because Norman Bransford has changed. Sally’s own happiness is evidence of that.’
‘So we talk to Sally and Jed when they get back tomorrow evening?’
‘Yes. Perhaps Sally can talk to Norman who can get the internal wheels moving before the police crack this thing wide open. I don’t want the people responsible to have an opportunity to cover things up. I want their fingers caught in the cookie jar.’
‘You may need to get the police to postpone things for a bit longer than just Monday.’
‘I realise that, but hopefully by then we would have received some word from Norman. The police can then work with him to ensure that everyone involved is caught and charged.’
‘Why did Jed and Sally pick this weekend to go away?’ Jordanne asked rhetorically.
Alex urged her to stand up before he pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms about her securely. ‘As we’re now forced to wait until their return,’ he said as he nibbled at her ear lobe.
Jordanne shivered, her thoughts turning away from the research study. ‘Hmm?’ She closed her eyes and tipped her head back as he feathered light kisses down her neck.
‘I suggest we put the time to good use,’ Alex murmured.
‘What do you have in mind?’ she whispered. Alex placed a quick kiss on her lips and stood her on her feet. Jordanne’s eyes snapped open in astonishment.
‘That we get your apartment cleaned up.’ With that, he stood and crossed to his desk, picking up the phone. ‘What’s Kirsten’s number?’
Amazingly enough, Jordanne almost enjoyed herself as the three of them cleaned up her apartment. Kirsten and Alex kept up a steady stream of jokes, turning what was supposed to be a tedious and unwelcome task into one that wasn’t too bad.
The three of them went out to dinner before Alex and Jordanne said goodnight to Kirsten and returned to his home. As the previous night, Alex made her another milk drink but this time she was awake when he climbed into bed beside her. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips before gathering her into his arms.
‘You have enough turmoil in your life at the moment,’ he whispered as she dozed off. As her mind wound down and started slipping into dreamland, Jordanne wondered whether Alex was still afraid of emotionally hurting her. It was the main reason why she hadn’t yet told him that she loved him. She was so conscious of taking it slowly with him, of not rushing him, but she wasn’t a patient woman and she wouldn’t wait for ever.
In the morning, Alex cooked Jordanne a hearty breakfast before they went shopping in the markets. She wondered whether part of his plan was to keep her out in crowds as they didn’t return to his apartment until just before seven o’clock that evening.
She’d called her brother earlier that morning and asked if both he and Sally wouldn’t mind coming to Alex’s place on their way back from the airport. Jed’s interest had been piqued.
Alex ordered Chinese take-away, which was delivered just as Jed’s white Jaguar XJ6 pulled into the driveway.
‘Have you two been working hard again?’ Jed asked, and all Jordanne could do was nod. It wasn’t a lie—they had been working hard. As they sat down to dinner, Alex and Jordanne listened intently to Sally rave about the good time they’d had.
‘Catching up with my parents and the rest of your brood,’ she said, indicating Jordanne, ‘was great fun. Thank you again, Alex, for that present. It was just what we needed. A weekend away.’
‘I’m happy for you,’ Alex replied.
‘How…is your dad?’ Jordanne asked, concerned that the news they had for Norman Bransford might not help his recovery.
‘He’s doing extremely well. I’m sure you’ve received an update from his orthopaedic surgeon in Sydney,’ Sally said to Alex.
‘Yes, but I guess what Jordanne is asking is how is he emotionally? Is he coping with staying at home? From what I remember of your father, he didn’t like to be idle.’
Sally laughed. ‘No, he doesn’t, but he’s doing a bit of work from home and that seems to satisfy him.’
‘So why did you want to see us? Was it just to catch up on family matters?’ Jed asked before his mouth closed over his chopsticks that were laden with food. He glanced from Jordanne to Alex and then back again.
‘No. Well, yes, and, uh…no,’ Jordanne fumbled. ‘It’s good to hear you had
a great time,’ she said, trying again. Her gaze rested on Sally and she took a deep breath. ‘We need to tell you something that’s been happening at work. More specifically, with the research study.’
She had their interest now. They both told the story of what had been happening and Alex showed them the X-rays and blood-test results which had been locked in his safe. ‘The thing is,’ Jordanne said, hoping that Sally wouldn’t take things the wrong way, ‘that when we checked into the parent of the pharmaceutical company, it was…the Bransford Corporation.’
‘What?’ Sally stared at Jordanne, completely amazed.
‘That’s why we wanted to talk to you,’ Alex added. ‘Perhaps you can talk to your father and see if he can dig internally before the police get completely involved because when that happens—’
‘The media’s involved as well,’ Jed finished.
‘I’ll call Dad right now,’ Sally said, and reached for her mobile phone. None of them pretended not to listen to her conversation and when she finally ended the call she smiled enthusiastically. ‘He’ll look into it right away and hopefully will have some answers by tomorrow evening. He suggested we ask the police to contact him tomorrow morning and he can take it from there.’
‘Good,’ Jordanne said, heaving a heavy sigh.
‘Who’d like some dessert?’ Alex asked. ‘Triple chocolate ice cream,’ he said temptingly.
‘Why don’t you just bring out the tub and four spoons?’ Jordanne suggested with a smile at him. When he’d told her that he loved chocolate, she’d thought he’d been exaggerating. Now she realised he hadn’t been.
As they all sat around, eating ice cream, Jordanne could tell that Sally was very worried about the situation.
‘If you’ll excuse us,’ she said after Alex and Jed had polished off the rest of the ice cream, ‘I’d like to get home and call my father again.’
‘Of course,’ Jordanne said. ‘We appreciate any help both you and your father can give us.’ She hugged her friend tightly before kissing her brother.
After they’d left, Jordanne slumped down onto the lounge and played with her hair, winding it around her finger.
‘You’re preoccupied about something,’ Alex observed as he came to sit beside her. ‘I’ve noticed you always do that to your hair if you’re preoccupied.’
Jordanne smiled at him. ‘Why do you think I tie it back for work?’
Alex didn’t smile but took her hand in his. ‘It’s time,’ he said solemnly. ‘We’ve avoided discussing my past for too long, Jordanne. It’s time.’
CHAPTER TEN
A BAND of apprehension tightened around Jordanne’s heart. She’d put it off yesterday and today but now the moment of truth was here. She reached out and touched Alex’s cheek, desperately trying to be strong for him. What he had to say was important, even if she didn’t think it would impact upon their future together. The fact that it was important to him should make it important to her. Communication, she remembered her mother saying. Any good relationship was all about communication.
‘I’m listening,’ she said, and he turned his face and kissed her hand before placing it back in her lap.
‘When I was twenty, still in med school, I got married.’ His tone was neutral and Jordanne tried hard to read his expression but found she couldn’t. ‘We were young and impetuous but if there was one thing neither set of parents wanted it was an accidental pregnancy.’ He laughed without humour. ‘We should have been so lucky,’ he mumbled, his tone laced with irony.
Jordanne remained silent, holding his hands with hers.
‘My wife decided she wanted children straight away so we began trying.’ He exhaled slowly, his gaze never leaving hers. ‘Five years later, after every fertility test, drug or natural remedy under the sun, I signed the divorce papers. We had been unable to have children and it had wrecked our marriage.’
The band that clutched at Jordanne’s heart tightened imperceptibly.
‘It tore us both apart.’ He was silent for a whole two minutes and Jordanne wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to say something or not. She searched her mind for words of sympathy but couldn’t find any. All she could focus on were the words he’d said— ‘unable to have children’.
‘Because of this…information, I’ve steered clear of any heavy emotional relationships for the past seventeen years. The scars are still there and, as you can see, it still hurts to discuss it.’
Tears welled in Jordanne’s eyes as she empathised with the pain he was sharing.
‘You, on the other hand, are different from any of those other relationships. I’ve fought my feelings for you with everything I had, but it wasn’t enough.’ He took a deep breath before confessing, ‘You’ve become very special to me, Jordanne.’
Jordanne sighed and leaned forward to kiss him briefly on the lips, a watery smile on her lips.
Alex set her back and squeezed her hands. ‘My feelings have grown, especially this last weekend. Just having you sharing my home, sleeping in my bed—it’s made me realise that I don’t want to wake up in the mornings unless you’re there beside me.’
The tears spilled over onto Jordanne’s cheeks and Alex tenderly wiped them away. ‘Which is why I wanted to talk to you. It wouldn’t have been fair to take our relationship to the next level without confessing my past. I know you want children, Jordanne. It’s evident in everything about you. Your caring, nurturing qualities shine through so naturally, I can’t imagine you living a life without children surrounding you.’
Jordanne’s eyes widened in alarm and her breathing became shallow. ‘What…what are you saying?’
Alex closed his eyes and groaned in frustration before raking his hand through his hair. ‘This is so hard for me to do.’ He opened his eyes and looked at Jordanne, his jaw firmly set. ‘We can’t continue to see each other.’
‘But I love you,’ she said, and put her hand out to him.
Alex stood and started pacing the room. ‘No,’ he ground out fiercely. ‘Don’t love me. If you do, you’ll be doomed to a childless marriage. Believe me—’ the bitterness in his tone hit her with force ‘—I’ve been there. It’s not something I’d recommend anyone to go through.’
Jordanne stood and took a few steps towards him but he held up his hands and she stopped. ‘Alex, seventeen years is a long time,’ she reasoned. ‘There have been incredible breakthroughs in medical technology. Childless couples all around the world are having their dreams come true because of these new procedures.’ She hesitated a moment before asking, ‘Was there something medically wrong with your wife as well as yourself?’
‘Yes.’
‘See?’ she said, clinging to the hope that was surging through her body. ‘It might not be the case with me. We might stand a better chance. We can both have tests and then figure out what to do next.’
‘Tests.’ He spat the word. ‘They’re a joke. One test after another. Pinning your hopes on results and tearing away another piece of your soul when they come back negative. I’ve lived through this, Jordanne, and I care far too much about you to have you go through it.’
‘That’s my decision,’ she said forcefully, placing one hand over her heart.
‘Jordanne, it would tear us apart. I’ve been there, remember. I’ve lived that life and, quite frankly, I don’t want to live it again.’
‘We can adopt,’ Jordanne suggested, desperately searching for an alternative.
He closed his eyes momentarily and shook his head before looking at her. ‘Think about it, Jordanne. Adoption is nowhere near as easy now as it was in the past. My mother knows of a couple who have been on the adoption waiting list for almost six years now, with still no hope in sight.’
‘At least they’re trying,’ Jordanne said, feeling her anger at his negative attitude spring forth. More tears rushed down her cheeks and she impatiently brushed them away. ‘You’re not even willing to give us a chance, Alex. You may have experienced what it was like to live through a childless marri
age with another woman almost twenty years ago, but that doesn’t mean the same thing would happen to us.’
‘It…won’t…work,’ he said slowly. ‘It’s been seventeen years and I still feel the pain of it. Every day. I push it out of my mind, I do my best not to think about it and then there’s Scott, about to have his third child. Do you have any idea how inadequate that makes me feel?’ He was yelling now.
‘That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it?’ Jordanne said carefully, and stared at him in astonishment. ‘The fact that you don’t think you’re man enough to produce an heir. You’re not even willing to look at the possibility that a lot of people survive quite happily in childless marriages, whether it was intentional or not.’
‘How dare you?’
‘How dare you? Lumping me in with other statistics. Not even willing to give our relationship the chance it deserves.’
‘You’re lucky I gave it this much of a chance.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I wanted to break it off as soon as it began because I knew I’d hurt you.’ His words plunged the room back into silence—an empty silence that held no hope.
‘Well, you were right,’ she said eventually, her voice breaking on the words. ‘You did hurt me.’ Jordanne sniffed and wiped again at the tears that refused to be stopped. ‘You had already decided before you told me that there was no future for us. You’re not even willing to compromise.’ She took a ragged breath in. ‘You’re just giving up because it’s too hard.’
Jordanne stormed from the room and began shoving her clothes into her bag, her vision blurred from the tears that continued to fall. She retrieved her toiletries from the bathroom before zipping the bag closed with finality. After locating her handbag, she walked back into the lounge room to find Alex still standing where she’d left him.
‘I think we both need some time, Alex.’
‘It’s over, Jordanne,’ he said flatly, before walking from the room.
His words incensed her once more and Jordanne reached for her mobile phone as she let herself out of his house. She called a taxi and waited in the cold night for it to arrive. At least it wasn’t raining, she reasoned, trying desperately to look for the silver lining in this very dark cloud.