“Bonsoir, Pasqual,” my aunt greeted the man, who cast an intrigued glance at me. He only looked away from me when Marie stood on her toes to kiss him and the girl with the green flap trousers on the cheek.
Holding the cake in one hand, she shoved me forward with the other. “C’est ma niece. Jona. Elle est la fille de Charlene.”
And it began already. Even though her words were Greek to me, I was sure I’d be shown around as the newly discovered daughter.
“This is my cousin, Pasqual, and his daughter, Claire,” she then said to me.
Waving at the child, I gave in to my aunt’s push and stepped toward them. “Hi.”
Pasqual shook my hand with a firm grip. “Bonsoir, Jona. Je suis heureux de vous recontrer.”
Yeah, whatever. I smiled politely but kept my mouth sealed while Marie talked some more to her cousin. An awkward tension gripped me. I scanned the crowd for Julian, hoping I could use him as an excuse to leave Marie’s side. Hands laced behind my back, I only tilted my head first, but when I couldn’t find him, I pivoted on the spot.
My heart did a somersault as I caught a glimpse of the back of his head. His plain white shirt stood out against Valentine, who had stuffed her round body into a dress as dark as the wine Albert drank at dinner. The dragon was also in their company.
Charlene’s astounded face was hilarious as she spotted me over Julian’s shoulder. She clapped a hand to her mouth then quickly corrected the awkward move by smoothing the front of her brown blouse tucked into her black jeans. She appeared unusually healthy today, and sheens of light in her hair suggested it was freshly dyed in a darker shade of copper.
Following my mother’s gaze, Julian glanced over his shoulder then back at her. It took him only a fraction of a second to whirl around again. This time, his perplexed gaze lingered on me for an amusingly long moment. Not taking his eyes off me, he said something to the two women, then nodded, and strode my way.
With each of his steps, my heart pounded louder in my ears, soon overlapping the cheerful music from the band. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
Less than a foot away, Julian stopped and raked a stunned glance over me. From my toes peeping out of Marie’s sandals, to the bare neck I presented.
“I was right,” he breathed in my ear.
“With what?”
“You look amazing in this dress.”
Clearing my throat, I tried to steady my voice before I spoke, not sure what I should be more embarrassed of. Being tucked into this light-beam of a dress, or the lustful glances Julian bestowed me with when everyone seemed to be watching us. “Thank you for getting it for me, but you really shouldn’t—”
“Shh.” He held his hand out to me. “Are you ready?”
Before I dared take it, I cut him a wary glance. “What for?”
“Unless I’m totally mistaken, you owe me a dance.”
“Ugh. Right.” A dance in a dress that was the magnet for stares. Maybe he wanted me to sing the chicken polka while we did the twist as well.
I stumbled after Julian who’d grabbed my hand and pulled me along. The pebbles crunched underneath my shoes. A fleeting glance around ascertained that every pair of eyes was set on me and the guests started whispering with tilted heads.
I could just hear them in my mind: Oh there, look at that English girl.
Great.
At the middle of the dance floor, Julian stopped and turned. His arms closed around my waist. The very moment his secure hold swallowed me and his sparkling blue eyes gazed into mine, every ounce of unease slid from me. Being in his embrace was like standing in our private little corner of paradise. I closed my eyes, inhaling his fresh, misty scent. The sound of waves rushing toward the shore claimed my memories.
The merry song Albert’s band was playing had stopped abruptly and subsided to a slow, enticing melody. Julian didn’t let me slip away. He pulled me tighter to his firm chest, swaying me softly to the rhythm.
The skimming of my fingers up his biceps left a line of gooseflesh in its trail. My arms sneaked around his neck. I enjoyed his hands tight on the small of my back. The tip of his nose brushed along my cheekbone, then he planted a mellow kiss behind my ear, triggering a fuzzy reaction inside my stomach.
“Everyone’s staring at us,” I hissed, though not really wanting him to stop.
“You’re imagining things. Right now, there’s only you and me.” He reached for my right hand behind his neck. To his directing, I twirled in front of him and dived back into his embrace.
“Did you finally change your mind?” he said into my ear after another pirouette.
I followed his guide to the left and then two steps to the right with a turn. “What do you mean?”
“About dancing. You said you didn’t like it much, but I can’t remember you ever smiling so broadly.”
“Well, it’s not that bad,” I said, struggling to keep my happy expression under control even for a second.
He put on a fake frown. “Not that bad?” In a swoosh, he waltzed with me then tipped me over backward, his arm always securely placed on my back.
Squealing with laughter, I held tightly on to his neck, so as not to lose my balance and drop to the hard floor. I surrendered. “Okay, okay, it’s really nice.”
Julian tilted over me, and I gaped into his beautiful blue eyes. He leaned further down to press his lips on mine. The taste of his last drink lingered in his kiss. Coconut cream. I closed my eyes and kissed him back with the passion that had been rising in me all day.
Close by, the clangor of breaking glass was followed by feminine cursing. I grinned under Julian’s lips. “I’ll eat my hat if that wasn’t my mother dropping her drink.”
“Apparently, she has a dramatic streak.” Julian chuckled, pulling me to a stand.
“You’ve chosen an interesting moment to expose us. She’ll totally freak out.”
“No, she won’t. Not tonight.”
“What’s special about tonight?”
But before he could explain, Albert and his friends began strumming a new song behind us, one that was unique around the world and made me turn toward the band with confusion.
“Is it your birthday?” I asked Julian, but he said nothing. His hand wrapped tight around mine as he led me up to the longest table, where several people had already taken their seats.
Everyone joined in singing along with the band. Valentine and Henri scooted down the bench to make room for us, while my mother, at Marie’s urging, lowered to the chair at the head of the table.
My aunt then rushed to the makeshift bar to retrieve the cake she’d brought. Only now it was lit with a sea of candles. She placed it in front of my mother’s beaming face.
Shit.
My stomach slid to my feet. This must be an evil joke. They couldn’t possibly have brought me to my mother’s celebration. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
Julian placed his hand on my thigh, trying to soothe me. And it almost worked as when he’d touched me before. But this time I wouldn’t let it happen. I shoved his hand away and charged my scowl with all the disgust I felt.
“It was hard enough to make you agree to come when you didn’t know,” he said with a stern face. “If you’d suspected it was a party for your mum, you would have never even considered showing up.”
“Damn right! And you shouldn’t have tricked me into it.” Not today. Not after the beautiful time we’d had together.
And suddenly, it clicked into place. He’d lured me away from the house so I wouldn’t notice anything during the day while they prepared for the celebration. Hadn’t I also overheard him forbid Marie and the others to talk to me about it? What a bloody betrayal!
As the birthday song ended, everyone applauded my mother. I folded my arms over my heaving chest.
Marie then insisted on her making a wish. Charlene’s glance traveled to me, hope filling her features. It was obvious what kind of wish she’d like to make.
Forgiveness
.
Even though her perfect make-up brought out a beauty I’d long since forgotten about, the evidence of her illness lay just underneath. Her eyes, sunken and troubled, and her standing out cheekbones reminded me of a starving woman. Although tonight, it felt as if she was starving from something else than food. I realized I had a powerful instrument in my hand. It was like I could play God and decide whether this woman would be happy or suffering from immeasurable pain.
I didn’t know what brought this on—spending too much time in Marie’s love filled house, or having found a place in Julian’s heart at last—but in that moment, I hated to have this power. Over Charlene. Over Marie. Over anyone who tried to get near me. All I wanted was to be left alone. For the first time in a long while, I didn’t wish my mother anything bad precisely. But I was also far from giving her what she wanted.
“I wouldn’t waste a wish on that one,” I said under my breath as she blew at the candles. It earned me a poke in the ribs from Julian, and I winced.
“Be nice,” he said.
Rising from her seat, Charlene drew a deep breath then spoke loud enough for those in the last rows to hear. “Thanks to everyone for coming to celebrate with me tonight!”
Her glance lingered on me. And that she spoke in English and not in French, so everyone else would have understood, left no room for interpretation. I narrowed my eyes to irritated slits and clamped down on my teeth. However, my rage was directed to someone else tonight.
When she started to cut the cake, I seized the moment and rose from the table.
“Where are you going?” Julian’s hand around my wrist caused me to slump back onto the bench.
“Going for a walk. I need some fresh air,” I hissed.
“We’re outdoors. Where would you find air fresher than this?”
Leaning in a little closer, our gazes met from only three inches apart. Words came out in a sinister growl. “Maybe. But certainly I’ll find a place where I don’t have to sit next to a traitor.”
I jerked my hand out from his hold and stormed off into a part of the vineyards that wasn’t illuminated by all those icky birthday lanterns.
Away from the lights and the partying crowd, a chill trailed down my arms. Heading for the house, I stumbled along the path between the vines, guided only by a soft beam of moonlight. Julian’s calling my name followed me. The entrance to the garden was still about fifty feet ahead when he caught up with me, caught my hand, and spun me around.
“Don’t you dare touch me,” I spat at his pleading face. There was no need to pull my hand away. My warning loosened his hold of me in an instant.
“Jona, please, I’m sor—”
“No! Just no! Don’t even say it!” I whirled around and took a few steps toward the house with every intention to leave him in the dark. But anger ate at me. If I didn’t vent it out now, I could very well go break something instead.
The dress swayed ominously around my legs when I spun back to him. “You betrayed me. How dare you play with my feelings?”
“I didn’t mean to betray you. But she is your mother. And it’s her birthday. Most likely the last she’ll get to celebrate.” His tone was so grave, it made my skin rise in goose-bumps. “She wanted nothing more than for you to celebrate it with her. Can’t you grant her this little bit of joy? I know it’s hard for you to forgive her. But you don’t want your mother to die with a broken heart, do you?”
Didn’t I?
Her hopeful look when she made her wish slammed painfully into my mind. What would it be like to run out of time? To know death was only a heartbeat away and there was no chance at getting your final request fulfilled.
Stop. Thinking. About it.
“Want to know what really hurts me? That you, of all people, lied to me. You could have ask me to join the celebration. Because for you, I think I would have come.” I barely managed not to sob. “Now tell me one thing, Julian. Was all the kissing and the trip to the beach only part of your plan to bribe me to my mother’s party?”
A frown formed small lines at the sides of his mouth. “Don’t be ridiculous. None of this was part of any plan.” He reached for me.
But I jerked back. “I’ll tell you what’s ridiculous. This goddamn dress is! What were you thinking? That you can wrap me up like a birthday present? If it wasn’t for the fact that I have nothing under it, I’d rip it off!” Fingers digging in the fabric of the bodice, I clenched my fists.
His right brow lifted, daring me to proceed. The urge to slap the stupid smirk from his face was hard to resist. I didn’t move. Julian came closer and pried my hands loose with gentle fingers.
“This wasn’t me wrapping you up as a gift,” he said so softly it made my skin tickle like it was brushed with a down feather. “I saw you staring at the dress in the shop. The gleam in your eyes. For once, I wanted you to see how lovely you are. Not for your mum, your aunt, me or the guests. But just for your beautiful self.”
I forced a swallow through my dry mouth and throat. “I don’t know what you saw that day, but I never said I liked this dress. And I sure didn’t think it would make me pretty.”
“But you are pretty,” he whispered, and at the same instant he pulled me closer to him. “The most beautiful girl I know. And I’m sorry I hurt you by tricking you into coming to the party tonight. But the kiss on the beach had nothing to do with any of this.”
My fingers were splayed against his chest, the warmth of his breath caressing my face. I wanted to hold on to Julian, just for a second. To ensure this was not an imagination, and that I had found someone who saw me for what I really was. He was someone who saw beyond all my sarcasm and knew when I needed a friend. “Then why would you kiss me?”
“Because I’m falling in love.”
22
CAN I GET MY LETTER BACK?
MERRY MUSIC FROM the three-man band and the singing of the jolly crowd attending my mother’s birthday party drifted to me on the evening breeze. My feet had rooted at the entrance to the vineyards as Julian’s words resonated in my mind.
He loved me.
A loud burst of cheer followed by clapping and laughter broke my bubble. At least I hadn’t ruined the celebrating mood with my quick departure.
Julian’s blue eyes shone in the dark. The sweet words of affection still hung on his lips, and my hands froze on his chest. By his expression he was waiting on my reply. What would I tell him? That I too was falling in love with him?
“I…” My voice was unrecognizable even to me. I couldn’t finish the sentence. Not when I knew, in my soul, these feelings shouldn’t be there.
What on earth was eating me? I hadn’t gotten attached to anyone over the past twelve years. So why now? It was a miracle Quinn Madison had become such a close friend, when I carefully avoided any kind of relationship with anyone. But my well-built wall of protection had crumbled before Julian within days.
In fact, he’d blasted right through the instant he appeared outside Abe’s office to free me from my cuffs. His touch, his look, the way he talked to me—it was all so different from anything I’d ever known.
And yet, I couldn’t tell him. I had sworn never again to get close to another person, for the day that they shoved me away would come and the pain would be too much to bear.
My hands slipped from his chest, out of his hold. I took a reluctant step backward. Emptiness swept through me, made me want to curl up in the grass and hug my knees to my chest, to ease the aching. I needed to get away. Put some distance between the two of us and reconstruct this solid wall of invisible brick around my heart. So I wouldn’t be hurt again.
I broke into a run. Crossing the last few feet to the house as fast as Marie’s sandals allowed, I didn’t stop nor turn around to Julian’s pleadings. Tears spilled from my eyes as the door gave way to my furious push, and I stumbled into my room. A thunder rolled through the empty house as it slammed shut behind me.
I clamped down on my teeth and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I should hav
e known better than to let my protection slip today and kiss Julian.
A glimpse of faint light on the vineyard caught my eye over the balcony’s railing. I stopped in the frame of the open door, trying to get a clear view of the crowd. Julian must have returned there after I left him standing in the garden. But the celebration was too far away to single him out.
The veil curtains wafted after me as I spun around and stomped through the room in circles. Damn Julian and my soft spot for him. I missed life the way it was. The way I was—stone cold and devoid of any feelings.
Blimey, how could I ever return to my distanced self after the kiss he and I had shared? The taste of coconut still lingered on my tongue, making it easy for me to recall his lips pressed tenderly against mine.
Dragging my clawed fingers through my hair, I yanked on the strands and wished I could tear the memory out of my mind with it. But it wouldn’t work. Every detail of his beautiful face drawing nearer, every soft touch of his tongue to mine was forever etched in my memory.
In a rush of frustration, I wiped the entire collection on my desk to the floor. Pens clattered on the parquet, books flapped open. And Julian’s weird-things-list slid on the floor.
Kicking The Lord of the Rings aside, I bent to pick up the sheet and scanned the bullet points.
-INFLICTS HAPPINESS BY TOUCH.
-REVITALIZES THE DRAGON.
-RESURRECTED DUCK TODAY.
Oh come on, idiot, what kind of fairytale do you live in? All the sweet meddling he did with my mind had turned me into a complete imbecile. And why did I bother to keep records of his weird traits anyway? As if someone would ever believe that a Flying Healer lived next-door to my room.
Angry breaths got my nostrils flaring. I scrunched the paper to the size of a ping-pong ball. “Bullshit!” Frustration powered my thrust as I tossed the ball against the wall over my desk.
Only it didn’t fly in the direction I had intended.
“Yikes!” The paper ball shot right through the window and over the balcony. Both hands clapped to my cheeks, I grimaced.
Loving Your Lies Page 22