“Don’t count on me, Mother,” Alexa stressed. “I can’t leave the animals.”
“Surely you can get one of your neighbors to check on them.”
Alexa sighed. “They’ve all got enough of their own work and there’s no one exactly nearby.”
“You always have an excuse,” her mother protested. “And I know the real reason. But, dear, people have forgotten the incident with the Duval boy. It’s been five years. It’s time you get back to civilization. There are a few nice, eligible young men working with your father.”
Alexa felt a queasy dip in her stomach. “I’ll think about Thanksgiving. Bye, Mother.” She hung up before Kate could reply. Alexa’s mother collected tons of money for her favorite charities because she never took no for an answer.
Rafe was leaning against the refrigerator, just staring her way. He couldn’t see her, but Alexa couldn’t help wondering what her mother would say if Alexa had told her she had an eligible young man staying at the ranch who kept her awake most nights?
“Does your mother know you have a houseguest who could feed your animals over Thanksgiving?” Rafe asked.
Alexa swallowed guiltily. “I…ah…didn’t tell her because you’ll be leaving soon.”
“Oh. Are you sure I won’t need more than one month of acupuncture treatments?”
“There isn’t a set recommended number, Rafe.”
“I get it. You want me to leave when the month is up, whether or not we’re making progress.”
“No, it’s not that.” She rubbed suddenly sweating palms up and down the side of her jeans. Before Bobby, she would have known instinctively whether Rafe’s treatments should be stopped or continued. But now she needed results to rely on.
“What time is it?” Rafe asked unexpectedly.
Alexa consulted her watch. “A quarter after two.”
Rafe shoved away from the fridge. “Before you’re interrupted again, shall we get started with the acupuncture?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait a day after your fall?”
“I’m fine. I need you to tell me if my chest is bruised.” He slid a hand up and down his breastbone.
Merely thinking about his bare chest made Alexa’s face flush. It was a good thing Rafe couldn’t see her. “I…ah…you took a bone-jarring jolt.”
“Can’t you mix up some of your herbs to make a cream?”
“Devil’s claw,” she said, opening the door to her office. “It’s a potent anti-inflammatory. I can mix some up if you need it.”
“Or you could massage my chest with that warm oil you use on my back,” he said suggestively.
“Okay, enough with that, Rafe.” Was he deliberately baiting her? If so, it was working. She slapped a hand on the examining table. “If I think you’re bruised, I’ll prepare a muscle cream you can put on before you go to bed.”
He stripped off his shirt and lay down. “I wish I could see if I make you blush. I think I do. Are you hiding behind your ethics, doctor?”
Alexa stopped in the middle of pulling on sterile gloves. His carelessly tossed barb had found its mark, though not the one he’d intended. But he didn’t know about Bobby, so he had no idea how much his remark hurt her. “Behave yourself,” she said, trying to keep her voice light.
“Yes, ma’am.” He gave a dutiful response. “But what if I said you can massage cream or oil into any part of my body you’d like, Alexa?”
His thick-as-honey drawl sent warning tingles straight to Alexa’s stomach, and given the sweet torture she’d endured on their ride home with Rafe’s aroused body behind hers it was time they ended this banter. “Rafe, don’t mess with a woman holding a handful of sharp objects.”
His laugh was purely masculine.
She had to work extra hard to keep her hands steady. Because of that, she took greater care placing each needle.
Rafe didn’t fall asleep during this session. He was too keyed up.
“Lie still,” Alexa cautioned for the third time. “Empty your mind of negative thoughts.”
“Oh, my thoughts aren’t negative,” he said.
“I’m going to stop and light a couple of candles. They’re chamomile, lemon balm and linden flower. I want you to breathe deeply and picture yourself floating in water.”
“Are you floating with me? Are we naked?”
“Rafe!”
What was the matter with him? It was as if he’d crossed an imaginary line she’d drawn in the sand.
Alexa tossed down her gloves. Her hand shook as she lit the candles, directing the thin trail of smoke toward the table.
“Ouch, I felt that.” His smile disappeared and he reached for a spot behind his ear. He was stopped by Alexa’s sharp command. “Don’t touch. I’m sorry if it hurt. I think you’re still unstrung from the fall. We should stop here.”
“No, please. I’ll lie still.”
Alexa watched his body go limp. That let her work, but left her mind free to appreciate his smooth bronzed chest. She knew for a fact she had never had a sexual attraction to any of her former patients. It was cool in the room, but she started to perspire. Several times, she had to pause and use her sleeve to blot her forehead. Rafe Eaglefeather was too potent for his own good. Or for hers.
When at last she finished, she stepped away from the table. “The session is over, Rafe. I need to apply tape to a few spots. I’ll remove it tonight.”
He opened his eyes, sat up and scanned the room. “There’s no change from what I could see after the last treatment.” His voice was heavy with disappointment.
Alexa extinguished the candles. Her own heart felt heavy, and she couldn’t express her sorrow.
“I’d hoped…” Rafe said, then he slid off the table and reached for his shirt.
“I know, Rafe. Me, too. We’ll try again Friday. Or maybe I should call Dr. Ling. He’s the Chinese master in Houston I studied under. Maybe he’d be willing to take over your treatments.”
What if she’d lost her skill with the needles? The Houston media had accused her of being a sham. What if they were right?
“If Ling taught you everything he knows, how could he do any more than you can, Alexa?” Rafe’s voice was muffled as he struggled to pull an army shirt over his head without unbuttoning it.
“Here, let me help. I don’t want you dislodging the tape strips.”
Rafe flapped his arms. “I’m stuck.”
“Stop.” She unbuttoned the shirt far enough for him to poke his head through, then rebuttoned it, letting her hands trail down Rafe’s chest.
He caught her hands in his. “I prefer the shirts you bought that have snaps. I must have grabbed a uniform shirt by mistake. I probably shouldn’t wear it since I’m a civilian now.”
“Someone removed all the identifying badges. You’d have to look really close to see their outline. Otherwise it looks like any old khaki shirt.”
Still holding Alexa’s hands flat against his chest, Rafe said, “Sierra must have ripped off the patches. She’s a saver. She learned it from our mom.”
“Given the shape of the economy it’s a good way to live.”
“Are you doing okay, Alexa? Financially, I mean. I expect to pay for room and board, and for your services.”
Alexa jerked back her hands and put some distance between them. “I told Sierra money wasn’t the issue if I let you come here, Rafe. You’re working Esperanza, after all. I do fine financially training and selling horses. Technically I don’t have a formal holistic practice here.”
“Why not?”
This was getting into territory Alexa just didn’t want to discuss, especially with Rafe. “You said yourself, I live off the beaten path. And I like what I do.”
“You have a nice ranch from what I can tell. I’d say you’re doing okay, Alexa.”
“I’m doing fine, Rafe.” Eager to change the subject, Alexa said, “I thought we could eat by the fire again. I have more country-western CDs.”
“Sounds good. But can you remove
this tape from my forehead?”
“Bugging you, huh? If you promise not to rub the spots, I’ll take the tape off.”
Alexa made a vegetable stir-fry dish with rice, and after they were finished, Compadre fell asleep in front of the fireplace, and Alexa picked up the Twain book again. Rafe couldn’t seem to sit still. “What time is it now?” he asked for about the third time in half an hour.
“Six-forty,” she said. “I’m on the last story in my book.”
“Since it’s still too early to hit the hay, why don’t you read to me? What’s the name of the story anyway?”
“The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg.”
“Sound’s good.”
Alexa turned the page and began to read.
Rafe moved to the end of the couch closer to her chair, and crossed his long legs at the ankle. The way he kept time to the music with his foot distracted Alexa. He distracted her. She finished the story at the same time the CD ended, and got up to change the music.
Rafe’s eyes were half closed, but Alexa knew he wasn’t asleep. “This is a collection of golden-oldie blues tunes by well-known country artists,” she said. “What do you suppose there is about living in the south that makes cowboys sing the blues?”
“The best places to sing the blues are during a war or in jail, staring into the bottom of an empty whiskey glass or facing an empty bed,” Rafe said.
Alexa hit the play button. “Tell me you’re not an authority on all those situations.”
“All but jail. Hey, turn up the sound. Come dance with me. I know this room fairly well, and hardwood’s good for waltzing.” He stood up and beckoned Alexa with outstretched arms. “Next to riding horses, cowboys love to dance.”
Alexa held back. “Uh, I can’t. I mean I’ve never been very good at dancing. And I haven’t danced in years.”
“Ah, finally something I can teach you,” he said, approaching her and pulling her into his arms. “You know how I’m supposed to loosen up before acupuncture? Same goes for dancing. Lean against me and put your head on my shoulder, Alexa. Feel the music. Move when I move.”
“Sorry, but I’m not short enough to put my head on your shoulder.”
“Then tuck your ear up next to mine. Did I ever tell you I like tall women?”
“Uh, I don’t believe so.” Alexa cordoned off the part of her mind that was telling her this was a big mistake. To Rafe she said, “Don’t blame me if I step all over your boots.”
“Shh. Listen to the music. I like holding you. Pretend you like holding me.”
Alexa didn’t respond, but snuggled in. It was actually on the tip of her tongue to say she didn’t need to pretend. The words melted there when Rafe slid both of his hands around her waist. It wasn’t long before he nuzzled her cheek with his lips.
Sighing, she slid both palms flat against his chest.
For several long riffs of a moody guitar, she gazed sleepily into Rafe’s gorgeous eyes. She willed him to see her. Willed him to see the world. Without sight he was missing so many beautiful things in life. And if her treatments helped him see again, that would restore her faith in herself. Unable to stop herself, she moved even closer to Rafe.
His lips grazed her ear, and in a husky voice Rafe sang along with the CD, the words haunting and provocative. Alexa trembled in his arms.
“Tonight let’s just be a man and a woman, Alexa. Not doctor and patient. We’ll be two lovers with nothing in mind and just shut out the world…lose ourselves in hot, sweaty sex.”
Alexa’s mind had long since shut down. The music grew fainter as blood pumped louder in her ears. And in her heart. Then all at once it dawned on her that Rafe had slow danced her down the hall and into his room. Light from the hall outlined his rumpled bed as if it sat in the glare of a spotlight. Warning bells went off inside her fuzzy brain.
“Wait. Rafe, what are you doing? I told you any type of a romantic relationship between us is out of the question.”
“You seemed ready enough a minute ago.” Releasing her, Rafe threw up his hands. “I didn’t hide my intentions, Alexa. You sure as hell send off mixed messages.” He wheeled away, and his hands curled and uncurled at his sides.
Frustrated, and steeped in guilt herself for wanting Rafe, Alexa recognized that the line she’d drawn between being a doctor and a woman wasn’t as clear as it should be. “Rafe,” she finally blurted. “We just can’t seem to keep things professional. It’s not your fault, but you need to find another practitioner. I know you want more acupuncture treatments, but you’ll have to look elsewhere. It’s best if you leave with Sierra when she comes next week.”
When Rafe said nothing, Alexa left his room and raced toward her own. She skirted Compadre, who padded down the hall toward Rafe.
Alexa wasn’t the only one who would miss Rafe when he was gone.
CHAPTER SEVEN
RAFE WANTED TO STAY HERE. He’d known it for some time now but hadn’t wanted to admit it. And after tonight, it was clear that his feelings for Alexa weren’t one-sided. But he had crossed the line she had drawn. Tonight, he’d been restless and discouraged about his treatment. Alexa had been caught up in the bluesy music so they’d both been vulnerable.
He propped his back against the pillows and crossed his arms behind his head, unable to sleep. If he was honest, it was Alexa, not his mood or the music that had aroused him. She had all the qualities he admired in a woman. Intelligence. Feistiness. Humor. Independence. And with Alexa there was an added plus. She loved horses. He could count on one hand the number of women in his past who came close to Alexa. His previous relationships had all eventually fizzled, ended by distance or a clash in careers. In one case, the woman wanted a man who wasn’t running around foreign lands getting shot at. Military rules regarding fraternization also made it easy for him to walk away when he wasn’t interested. But, the real truth was, with all those women, he hadn’t been committed enough to make concessions. Now he was. Dammit, his feelings for Alexa weren’t superficial. They ran a helluva lot deeper than a mere one-night stand. That he was sure of.But Alexa didn’t want to treat him anymore. Was that really about ethics? Earlier today she hadn’t mentioned his being here to her mother. He didn’t think it was simple oversight.
Something else was troubling Alexa—holding her back—other than ethics. He hadn’t imagined the heat rising off both of them tonight. It was hot enough to scorch the ceiling.
Just thinking about it guaranteed him a restless night.
SOMEONE WAS NUZZLING his ear. Rafe jerked awake, his heart tripping happily, to Dog nudging him. As he swung out of bed, Rafe recalled every sizzling detail of a dream he’d had involving bedroom games he wanted to play with Alexa. And it wasn’t just the prospect of sex that drove him, though that sure played a part. He longed to continue the everyday things they did together, like training her horses, sitting by the fire. In the cold light of day, Rafe knew he wanted to settle down with Alexa Robinson. But what did a man like him really have to offer a woman like her? Maybe in the end she was right. She was his doctor and he was her patient.
He headed for the shower and let a stream of cold water shock him back to reality. When that didn’t change his feelings about Alexa, he decided he had to leave with Sierra. If he cut the doctor-patient ties with Alexa, maybe he could figure a way to make her see him as a man.He went to breakfast, prepared to tell her his next acupuncture session on Friday would be the final one. In the kitchen he discovered she’d set out granola and milk, and his dishes. He assumed hers were already in the dishwasher.
Rather than eat, he pulled on a sweatshirt and went out to the barn to find Alexa, but Dog kept nudging him back toward the house. Eventually, he found her holed up in her office.
“I’m working,” she called when he rattled the doorknob of a locked door. “I left breakfast on the table for you.”
“I know. I just came to say I’ll be leaving with Sierra on Saturday. Or I can call her to come earlier if you’d prefer. Myself, I’d rather have you
do one last round of acupuncture on Friday. All strictly professional, of course.”
Rafe heard her unlock the door and open it a crack. “As long as we’re on the same page and there are no repeats of last night, I don’t have a problem with you staying until Sierra’s scheduled pickup.”
The door creaked open a little farther, and though he couldn’t see her features, Rafe sensed a nervous edginess in Alexa and would bet a month’s salary that she hadn’t got any more sleep than him.
“Shall I put Esperanza through her barrels?” he asked Alexa. This wasn’t the time to share his real reason for leaving—so he could try to move forward in a real romantic relationship.
“Work with the mare or not, Rafe. She’s probably trained well enough now to go to the man who’d like to buy her for his daughter.”
“Oh. Well, it’s warmed up outside. Esperanza and Tano will be full of energy.”
“Is it warmer? I haven’t been out yet. I’ll exercise Tano later.” She sounded preoccupied, which struck Rafe as odd. Usually by this hour she would have fed the wild animals and the horses.
“Are you okay?” He shouldn’t pry. Questions of a personal nature could lead him down a slippery slope. But Rafe wanted them to part on good terms, and if she felt she needed to keep a door between them, he had to rectify that.
“I’m working, Rafe. I have paperwork to catch up on. Just because I treat you in my home doesn’t mean I’m lax about keeping records. You’ll leave here with a comprehensive file. Whoever you continue treatment with may not approve of alternative medicine, but every therapy, every treatment I did will be spelled out in black and white.”
Whoa! Where did all this defensiveness come from?
“Jeez, Alexa. When I landed on your doorstep, I didn’t give a rip about any kind of treatment. Physically I’ve improved a lot. And if my eyesight’s as good as it’ll get, I may not even have to see another doctor.”
The Cowboy Soldier Page 10