by Megan Rose
“Okay, let’s go in!” Lacey trudged up behind him with a smile on her face.
“Umm…Lacey…”
“Yeah?” she was struggling to carry her big beach bag and her purse. He decided they would get settled in and he would tell her about the new development later.
✽✽✽
Two hours later the couch was finally sitting in the right spot, looking all new and comfy. Lacey had tested it out before the delivery guys had left, and now that they were gone she wasn’t planning on getting up anytime soon.
“This is the best couch ever,” she said. “Nothing like mine.”
“You mean it’s not bony and smelly?” Mark asked, putting his sneakers on.
“Hey, I happen to like my couch! It has character.” She emphasized the last word. “Plus, this just feels extra good because my butt hurts from sitting on the floor all day. Doesn’t yours hurt from having it kicked so many times?” she asked, innocently.
They had tried to find something entertaining to do while they waited. Well, Lacey had. Mark had prodded her about Connor until she finally said, “Actually, he’s a serial killer so there, now you know,” and found a deck of cards. She taught him how to play Spit, because she was brilliant at it (and the only other card game she knew how to play was solitaire, and she only knew how to play that on the computer).
“That’s not fair – I’m a newbie,” Mark replied.
"Yeah, after an hour and a half you’re not so new anymore.” She glanced over at him. “What are you doing?”
Mark finished tying his shoelaces and stood up. “Getting ready to go. I want to get down to the beach,” he said.
“Okay, I know you said you’ve never been to a beach, but you’ve got to know that you’re supposed to wear sandals or flip flops. Or water shoes, if you’re a five-year-old Lacey who doesn’t like her feet touching the wet sand. Haven’t you seen any beach movies? From Justin to Kelly?”
“That’s the example you’re giving me? From Justin to Kelly? Why not something like Jaws?”
“Jaws isn’t realistic.”
“Yeah, and people singing and dancing all in sync with one another is perfectly normal,” he said. “Plus, Kelly sounded great but she’s not getting any Oscars anytime soon.” Lacey stared at him uncomprehendingly. “My nieces like that movie.”
“Well, whatever. The point is you can’t wear sneakers on the beach.”
“I have to! What if I step on a needle or something?”
“What?”
“All you’ve said about the beach is how dirty it is. I’m always very protective of my feet,” Mark defended himself.
“Mark!” Lacey laughed, “The beach is dirty, not infested with heroin addicts! When I talked about pollution I meant, like, cigarette butts or food containers or plastic bags, not needles!”
“Well, what was the big deal about being careful picking up shells?” Mark asked, hands on his hips.
“That’s because sometimes the shells have little creatures attached to them. They’re shells, but not the kind that you want to keep. Or touch. Or come across. They’re icky.”
Mark looked at her. “You’re crazy,” he said and looked down at his sneakers. “Icky I have no problem with.”
An hour later, when they had spent about $40 getting Mark all of the beachwear he needed and were in their bathing suits and appropriate footwear, they walked across the boardwalk to go to the beach. Mark didn’t think it looked nearly as disgusting as Lacey had described. There were a few things here or there that maybe someone should come around and pick up, but for the most part it was nice.
They spread out their towels (Mark, reluctantly, and trying to cover his as best he could), and Lacey took off her cover-up. She lay out in the sun, smiling up at the sky. “Oh, I love the beach!” she said.
“Based on what you’ve said about it, I didn’t think you really loved it that much,” Mark said. “I’m just going to go ask the lifeguard about something…”
“About what?”
“You know, shoe…safety…whatever. Not that I don’t trust you that the beach is perfectly clean, but – “
“No, it’s not and I’m not offended. Clearly you have some sort of phobia or neuroticism or something. Probably you should ask him if there are any psychiatrists nearby too. Get you some Xanax or something.” She smiled at his disapproving gaze and put her sunglasses on. “I’ll be here.” She waved and closed her eyes.
A few minutes later, Lacey opened her eyes and Mark still wasn’t back yet. She didn’t know what sort of quiz he was giving the lifeguard, but she felt bad for the guy. He was supposed to be guarding people’s lives and instead he was dealing with a psychopath. Well, not a psychopath but a deeply disturbed man.
She sat up on her elbows as an extremely hairy man walked towards her. Lacey, in her pale pink and green polka-dotted bathing suit, was waiting for him to pass by, but he stopped in front of her.
“Hello there!” His booming voice carried across the beach. Families looked up to make sure the noise wasn’t coming from a whale in the ocean. Lacey looked up at the man.
'“Hi! Enjoying the beach?”
“Well, I was,” he said, “until my back got exceptionally sunburnt. I was just wondering…my friend is on the boardwalk getting us deep-fried Kool-Aid” – Lacey mentally reminded herself to tell Mark about the most disgusting snack she’d ever heard of – “and I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind rubbing some Aloe Vera on my back? In return, I’ll help you put your sunblock on,” he said, with a hopeful smile.
“Well, really you should go inside if you’ve been sunburnt. You don’t want it to get any worse. That could be very dangerous,” Lacey told him.
“Oh, I know, but my friend is gone and he has the keys to our motel rooms. I don’t know how long he’ll be. The line looked pretty long when we passed by on our way down here,” the man said.
Lacey started to get up. “Well, sure. That’ no pro – “
“Hey!” Mark came running back over to their towels. “What’s going on, Lace?”
✽✽✽
“I was just about to help this man with his sunburn,” she said, standing up. Mark pushed her back down, gently.
“Oh, sorry I saw the Jessica Rabbit towel and thought…” the man frowned, “is this your boyfriend?”
Mark didn’t even have time to take a breath before Lacey said, “No, no, no!” and giggled nervously. She didn’t have to answer so fast. And so emphatically.
“Oh, well then, if you would just – “
“Lacey, you can’t do it,” Mark said as Lacey tried to stand again. He pushed her back down. She looked confused. “Sorry,” he looked at the man, “she can’t do it.” He waited for the creep to say “okay” and go away, but he looked quite perturbed and instead opened his mouth to speak again.
“I think she can make her own decisions.” He reached for her hand to help her stand up and Mark panicked and said the first thing that popped into his head.
“Lacey, your flesh-eating disease!” he said. “You can’t touch this man. You’ll infect him!” Okay, maybe that was a bit overdramatic. He looked up at the man who had paused and whose fingers were a centimeter away from Lacey’s. He yanked has hand away and put it behind his back.
“My…?” Lacey dropped her hand too.
“I’d be happy to do it for you.” Mark smiled.
The man looked at him suspiciously. “If you’re not her boyfriend, then who are you?”
Mark couldn't believe he had chosen such a ridiculous lie to tell this man, but now he was committed. “Her doctor,” he said, convincingly. Mark mentally kicked himself. How about brother? Or cousin? Or just friend? That was the truth anyway. Why didn’t he just tell the truth?
“Oh. You know, I actually think my friend is going to be back with that deep-fried Kool-Aid now.” Mark gagged and tried to turn it into a subtle cough that didn’t reveal his disgust. It didn’t really work. “Thanks anyway!” He literally ran away from them
, kicking sand on people on his way back and not caring.
“What was that all about?” Lacey asked Mark. “That was rude. And you could get us kicked off the beach!”
“No, he was rude. And we’re fine. Me and Sam are cool.”
“Sam?” Lacey blinked at him.
“The lifeguard. Anyway, he’s just some creep who wants you to rub stuff on his back so he can rub stuff on - why am I the one educating you about the beach? You should know all of this.”
She scoffed and shook her head at him. “What? You don’t believe me? It’s true! And you were going to go with him. He could have carried you on his shoulder if he wanted and taken you anywhere. You’re not supposed to even talk to strangers, let alone – “
“Oh my God. Really? I’m not supposed to talk to strangers? Are you my mother? And am I five? He seemed like a perfectly nice guy. Maybe I should have asked him to point out his spot before I went with him, so I knew where we were going; I just didn’t think of it. It’s a beach, there are a million other people around watching.
“You’re too worried about everything. You don’t trust anyone. Even when you eat candy, you examine it like a dad does on Halloween. I’m surprised you’ve ever even shared food with me. You shared your thermos with me! Didn’t that bother you? You couldn’t really have trusted me yet, could you? I had met you for two seconds and you already thought I was a loon.”
“I didn’t think that – “ She interrupted him
“And you let me cut your hair. I don’t know how you were ever able to do that. You must have watched me a few times before you went to make sure I didn’t hack anyone’s ear off. You’re always busy worrying about something. Like my ‘date’ with Connor – “
“Okay, first of all I don’t ‘worry,’” he put air quotes around the word. “And I have a genuine reason to be concerned about that.”
“Why? He comes to my house at least twice a week. Don’t you think if he was going to murder me he would’ve done it by now? I’m always home alone.”
“Well, of course he’s not going to do anything while he’s on the clock,” Mark reasoned as he sat back down on his towel (which he would soon be flipping over – why hadn’t he thought of that in the first place?).
She let out a huff of frustration as she sat back on her knees. “Okay, we’re never going to agree about this so let’s just not ever talk about it again. We won’t talk about Connor, or hairy men on the beach, or if there’s a little hole in that Three Musketeers wrapper or not, or anything. Let’s just stay away from controversial and worrisome topics.”
“Well, I’ll just say one more thing about this whole Aloe Vera incident,” he said. “I am clearly right. Okay, now we can never talk about it again.”
“What are you, a woman?” Lacey mumbled. She rolled her eyes but smiled just the same. He was the most ridiculous worrier she had ever met, but she still had fun with him. Maybe she should be more concerned more of the time. Maybe she was too trusting. So she’d try to lose the innocent look and naivety on her face and then maybe people wouldn’t try to scam her. She practiced a look of intelligence and suspicion.
“Okay, if you don’t want me to worry,” Mark said, “don’t ever make that face again. That’s the scariest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”
She stopped making what she had dubbed “The Mature Face” and hit him. “I’m just trying to look more…empowered. Clearly it’s not working.” She slumped her shoulders and looked at Mark. “I don’t think I always look like I can handle myself on my own, even though I can and have.” She said that last part pointing at Mark.
“You don’t need to look any way other than you.” He pointed at her as he spoke.
“Aww,” she said sweetly, “well that’s a really nice way to call someone ugly.” She made sure to speak loudly enough that other people turned to look at him disgustedly. Lacey got up. “I’m going down to the ocean. I’ll see you in a few,” and she jogged away, skillfully avoiding any sand-kicking on the other beach-goers.
Mark really had no clue what he did wrong. Maybe he’d ask his sister what she thought and why he kept messing up. He wasn’t trying to imply that she wasn’t pretty, just that she was good enough how she was, which Mark thought was better than anybody else. He figured he’d give her a few minutes and if she didn’t come back, he’d go down there to get her and “apologize” for doing absolutely nothing wrong.
✽✽✽
Ten minutes later, when Lacey still hadn’t come back, Mark made his way toward the ocean in bare feet, still conscious of what exactly the litter was around him. He found her standing only a few steps in the ocean, staring up at the sky.
“Lacey, listen – “
“Did you ever read The Odyssey?”
“What?”
“You know, Homer. I thought at first it was going to be what “The Simpsons” was based on, but there were no doughnuts or anything. I realized I was wrong about two pages in, but I tried to endure the rest of it. It didn’t get much better. I felt like I needed to finish it though, so I watched the movie.”
“Yeah, I think I read The Odyssey in school…” Mark couldn’t see where this was going.
“You know Penelope? Her husband’s been gone for so long and she’s being forced to choose a suitor and she just can’t take it anymore. And you know what she does?”
Mark asked warily, “What?”
“She walks into the ocean,” Lacey took a few steps deeper into the ocean. Mark followed. “And she just keeps walking…just forever.”
“Lacey, why don’t you come with me? I think you’ve been out in the sun too long – “
“It might be nice to be walking underwater forever. It would be quiet down there,” she muttered quietly to herself.
“Lacey,” Mark was getting really worried now, “let’s go. You’re not feeling well.”
Lacey looked at him and seemed to snap back to reality. “Oh Mark, I’m just commenting…making an observation. Don’t look so worried! Relax!”
“I just came down to make sure you were alright, so I’m going to go back up the shore…or down the shore…or…just back where we were and I’ll see you when you come back.”
'“Okay.” Lacey smiled at him but she didn’t look very happy. Maybe he just shouldn’t talk. Girls liked to talk and be listened to. She probably wouldn’t even notice if he spent the rest of their time at the beach house mute.
Mark started climbing up the sandy hill and then saw some kid who he could swear was peeing in the ocean. He didn’t know how he knew, he just knew. He had a certain look of satisfaction on his face. Lacey was right, the beach was disgusting. She had to get out of that pool of contamination before she accidently sucked in some noxious ocean water.
He started back down the hill and looked around for Lacey, but he couldn’t find her. Had she maybe passed him on her way back and they hadn’t noticed each other? He peered over at their spot on the beach, but she wasn’t there. He scanned the ocean again. Was there a limit to how far out you could be?
He didn’t want to seem overprotective or worried, so he turned back around and headed towards their spot once more. But for some reason, he felt like something was wrong. He should have been able to see Lacey – the beach wasn’t that big. Begrudgingly, he turned around and walked back into the water.
Mark didn’t want to call out Lacey’s name, because she would probably think he was overreacting, so he walked deep into the water and dove underneath, trying to decipher Lacey’s legs from all the others.
He went a little deeper into the ocean – still in the company of other sunbathers, and he saw someone standing completely underwater, looking like she was trying to walk around. He thought about how mad Lacey would be if he disturbed her just because he was worried. He should probably just let her do what she wanted, walk around in the ocean for whatever crazy reason, and she’d be fine.
But she’d been down there for a really long time, and she was going deeper into the ocean. Mark
decided that this one time he was better safe than sorry.
He came up for breath and then went back under, swimming towards Lacey. He put his arm around her waist and heard a little muffled noise of protest as she tried to pull away from him. He held on, and as he pulled her back to the surface she tried to kick him away. They resurfaced and one of the lifeguards came racing over. “What happened? I’m sorry – I didn’t see anything happening at all over here until you started to come back. I was busy telling that kid that the ocean is not a toilet, and he started to cry and it just was this big thing…anyway, are you both alright? What happened?”
“Just…an accident. We’re okay,” Mark said, looking at Lacey.
“Are you sure? Do either of you need medical attention?”
“No. Thank you. We’re just going to get ourselves together and leave.” Mark still didn’t look at the lifeguard, but at Lacey who was lying on the sand next to him, her fists clenched, clearly angry.
She started to speak, but it turned into a cough. She sat up on her elbows and finished wheezing. Once she cleared her throat and began to breathe normally again, the lifeguard cautiously walked away and told them to get help right away if they thought something was wrong.
“Mark, what’s the matter with you?!” She sat up fully and looked at him, sitting on his knees. She lunged at him to push him, but her little arms barely budged him. “I was underwater! People go underwater! They don’t need to be rescued!”
“You did! You were under there for way too long – I’m surprised you stayed conscious.”
“How did you know I was under there for too long? Were you keeping an eye on me because I’m so incapable of keeping myself safe? Were you worried about me?” Mark was going to give her a smart response until he looked at how angry she was. He tried to say something but just sputtered.
“I used to swim,” she said, “in school. I know how long I can stay underwater. I don’t need someone to pull me out of the water and pretend he’s saving my life–“
He regained his composure and didn’t even listen to the end of her sentence. “Lacey, you know you weren’t acting normal. What were you doing down there? Were you trying to drown?”