A Silent Prayer

by Samreen Ahsan

  Adam is making everything like a fairytale. I open the third box and find a Chanel scarf that matches the dress. The silk of the scarf is extremely soft, and I touch it to my cheek. There is also a pair of stockings. He has thought of every detail. He has made me feel like a woman—a very special woman. I open the last box and find a silver Fendi evening clutch that matches the dress and shoes perfectly. The box also has matching earrings and hair accessories. I can’t wait to try everything on for tonight. I look at the dress again. It is full length, with no body exposure, to preserve my femininity.

  He does care.

  All the items have the prices removed from their tags, but I know it is more than five thousand dollars. So much to spend on a single evening! It is almost my month’s salary. I take the tags off everything so I can put them on after Adam is done taking his shower. The door of the washroom opens and Adam steps out, with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

  Oh my!

  He looks absolutely sexy and stunning, like a Greek god. He walks toward the closet with his wet, half-naked body, in a very provocative manner, ignoring my existence completely.

  He is so fucking sexy!

  I bite my lower lip; this is titillating. I have never seen his body like this and my mouth is open so far I feel like it will hit the floor. Droplets of water fall from his broad shoulders, down to his lean cut waist. I want to lick all those droplets and my hands itch badly to touch his bare chest. In a relationship between a man and a woman, there is a very fine line which divides friendship from intimacy. I am standing on that line. I know if I move a bit, I will fall on the other side. I have never felt so seductively attracted to any man, and somewhere down in my body, it tickles… pleasurably.

  Control the fucking woman inside you, Rania. He is a bloody mind reader.

  He picks up his clothes from the closet and heads back to the washroom. After a few minutes, he appears in black trousers and a white button-down dress shirt, showered in a very sexy fragrance.

  Oh, Gibson! You look so much better without clothes.

  I’m still staring at him and realize I look awful next to him. No matter how hard I try, I can never match his charm and grace. He finally manages to look at me.

  “Everything is perfect, Adam. Thank you.”

  “I’m glad you liked it. I will thank Olivia personally. She picked all the stuff.” He goes back to the washroom, still speaking, leaving the door open.

  “How did she know my size?” I ask him from the bed, raising my voice.

  “I told her.” He steps out of the washroom and sits at the other corner of the bed. “I saw your shoe size from your boots and when I stole your pills from your luggage, I checked the size of your top.”

  “It was a perfect guess. I tried the sandals. They are perfect. Thank you.” He smiles with relief that I haven’t made an issue over his presents this time. “I am not used to all this, Adam.” His smile vanishes instantly.

  “Then get used to it.” He stands up from the bed and starts digging in his bag for something. “We have to leave in an hour. You should get ready now.”

  I smile back at him and gather my belongings, heading to the washroom without saying anything further.

  OPERA

  ♂

  I’m relieved Rania accepted all the things I asked Olivia to buy for her. I call her and thank for all she did in such a short time. I wait eagerly to see Rania in the pink dress. I remember how much pink suited her, when we had dinner last Saturday at the Persian restaurant. The color matches her skin when she blushes. I make some official calls and check the time again. I wonder if she’s taking too long, or if it’s me who is impatient to see her. I have never felt so bonded with anyone, and it’s been less than a week. What is she doing to you, Gibson? I’ve revived all the fun things that I missed in my childhood and adolescence. She is showing me a new life, a life which could be as simple as the blinking of an eye, and as pleasing as a bed of roses.

  I never knew spending a day with plants could be so much fun. I adored taking her picture, and I’m grateful she allowed me to. How she laughed at me over the waitress’s flirting; my heart almost melted at the sight. She has an infectious smile. No one could help smiling back.

  I can never forget how she looked when she put the mask on. What if I tell her she looked exactly like that woman I met nine months ago, who was dancing with invisible people? More like shadows. Would she believe me if I told her my spiritual experience? She has a good knowledge of ghosts and genies, and I will ask her when we come back from the show. But it’s hard to believe. That place never existed. I have been there many times since, and there is no spiral structure there. I put my thoughts aside and put on my socks and shoes. Then I hear her coming down the stairs.

  I glance at her as she emerges into the living room. I close my eyes instantly, unable to handle the beauty that is standing in front of me. “Shall we leave?” she says. I open my eyes and stand up to look at her divine beauty. She doesn’t realize she has taken my breath away, snatched the rug from under my feet. Why the fuck am I getting hard? It pisses me off so much that I lose control of my body. I close my eyes once again.

  “I can’t take you out anywhere. You can’t go like that.” I shake my head in passion and open my eyes. She looks confused and checks herself from feet to waist.

  “Is something wrong with the dress? The fit seems to be good.”

  “You have already killed me with your refinement. How many men do you plan to wound tonight?” I gaze at her seductive body from head to toe. And the fucking lace. I just want to rip it off of you. If it’s this hard for me to control myself in front of her, how will I control the hungry eyes of other men? She shakes her head with a giggle. “I feel sorry for other men. Have some mercy on them.”

  “Oh, come on, Adam. Don’t praise me so high. Yes, I feel great in this dress. It’s lovely. I feel like a princess in it.” She touches her dress with her beautiful hands.

  “You are a princess, at least for me. Thanks for accepting it.” Oh yes, you are no doubt.

  “Thank you for making me a princess. I know I am worth ten thousand dollars all together right now.” She winks at me with her infectious smile.

  “You have no idea how much you are worth.” I drink in her beauty with my eyes. “Pink is your color. You blossom under it.” She moves away and heads toward the dining area, but I see her blushing.

  “By the way, you look really handsome yourself, Mr. Gibson. The hot blonde waitress would faint if she could see you right now.” She looks at me from head to toe, seductively. Is she as attracted to me as I am to her? Does she feel the same magnetism?

  I step closer to her, so many wild questions in my head. The look on her face tells me that she’s read what’s going in my mind. She backs up until her back is against the wall. There is no one to stop us now. My body craves her touch, and I’m getting the same signals from her also. Her breathing speeds up, and I move to within an inch of her, so close that I can feel the heat from her body. She closes her eyes. Suddenly, I feel heaviness around me, the same heavy atmosphere that I felt in the washroom last night when she was staring blankly at the mirror. At this moment, I don’t see any seduction or magnetism in her face; I only see fear and trepidation. I can’t kiss you, if you get so scared. I look at her cold face and kiss her forehead, then back away. Her stiff body relaxes and she opens her eyes when she feels the distance between us. Distance which needs more time and trust to end.

  “Let’s go,” I whisper to her, acting as if nothing happened. As I pick up my jacket, she disappears into the living room. She comes back with a paper bag in her hand.

  “This is for you, Adam.” She hands me the package with her lovely smile.

  “For me? It’s not my birthday.” I take the bag from her and glance inside it.

  “You’ve showered all these gifts on me. It was not my birthday, eith
er.” She looks hurt. I hold her hand and make her sit on the dining chair next to me. “I can’t reciprocate the favors you have done for me,” she says, “but I hope you like this.”

  “I was not doing you any favors, Rania. I told you, I am a very selfish man. I was only doing it for myself.” I take out the small package from the bag. “But thank you. Can I open it now?” She smiles and nods silently. I open the package neatly, feeling like a little boy eager to open his Christmas present. There is a box with sterling silver cufflinks, with my initials engraved on them.

  “They’re lovely. Thank you, but when did you buy them?”

  “This morning. When you were busy calling the whole city looking for me.” There is another box inside the paper bag, so I open it eagerly. It is a beautiful silver tabletop photo frame, with crystals on the sides, and two engraved messages on the top and bottom of the frame.

  For our good time

  I am lucky to have found you

  What surprises me is the picture of our first dance together, looking into each other’s eyes with a passionate smile. The picture and the message on it melt my heart and bring tears to my eyes. I turn my head away, so that she can’t see me being so emotional. I close my eyes for a second to calm myself, then look back at her.

  “Thank you so much, Rania. This is wonderful. I don’t have words to express it.” I take a deep breath. “No one has given me a present, just for me, since my sixth birthday.” She places her hand on my shoulder. “My mother used to bring gifts for me on birthdays. My father was never the present type. After Mom left, Dad used to take me to McDonalds for the Happy Meal and I used to get the free toy, which was my birthday gift. At that time, a good meal was a better present than a toy.” I put my hand over hers. “You are giving me all the childhood treasures that I missed all those years. Thank you.” My eyes are still watery, and she notices it. She stands up and kisses my forehead with her warm lips, then hugs me. I want to stay like this forever, enfolded in her presence, and I will never desire anything ever again. We stay here motionless for a few minutes, without speaking.

  Our privacy is disturbed by a text message alert from her phone. She takes the phone out of her clutch and reads the message, which brings a worried expression to her face. I stand up to see what is troubling her. She hands me the phone silently. The message is from her boss.

  I got a call from the hotel that you haven’t checked in yet. Is your train delayed? Let me know.

  What’s his fucking problem? I look at her tense face and respond to the message on her behalf.

  Yes, the train got delayed. I will be checking in in half an hour. Thanks for your concern.

  I give the phone back to her. She reads it and looks at me in confusion.

  “Don’t worry. I will take care of it. Shall we leave?”

  On our way to the opera, I ask Rania to forward me the hotel confirmation. I make a couple of calls to resolve this issue, and she looks out the window, obviously thinking about something. Is she thinking about my attempt to kiss her? Did she get frightened because she read everything through my eyes? I decide not to say anything. I have no idea what happened to me in that moment; was it a demon pushing me to commit a sin, or was it an angel that stopped me when I saw her frightened face? Whatever it was, I can’t describe the heavy feeling I had at that moment. It was as if I felt someone else there.

  We reach the theater fifteen minutes before the performance starts. We mingle with the crowd, and Rania seems fairly comfortable, even though we are in public. We meet a senator and his wife and they compliment her on how beautiful she is. I see lots of men gazing at her like animals, but I keep my arm around her waist to let all the fuckers know that she is beyond their reach. As long as I have blood in my body, I will not let anybody destroy her.

  We settle in our box and look at our programs. The opera is Othello, and Rania reads everything carefully before concentrating deeply on the performance. She is completely engrossed in the show for two hours, and I am engrossed in her. I see tears on her face when Othello confronts his wife Desdemona and accuses her of adultery with Cassio. Desdemona tries to convince her husband that she is innocent, but he doesn’t listen to her, and kills her. Rania gasps and covers her mouth with her hands, then jumps up and leaves the box.

  I rush after her. After searching for a few minutes, I find her behind a red curtain, trying to control her emotional cyclone. She leans against the wall, breathing hard. As soon as she sees me, she tries to wipe her tears away.

  “Take me back, please.” Her voice breaks.

  “What happened, Rania? Are you okay?” I come closer to her, wanting to support her.

  “Why couldn’t he trust his wife? She loved him. She left her father, her wealth, everything for that man and what did he do to her? Accused her of adultery and killed her.” She wipes her tears again. “Why can’t a man trust a woman’s love? Why does a woman have to pay so much for the love of a man?”

  “Relax!” I hug her tightly, but she is still sobbing. “It’s just a play, Rania. Why are you taking it so seriously?” I speak into her hair. She pushes me away and shrugs her shoulders in vexation.

  I don’t understand why she is taking the opera so seriously. Is it something related to her past? It couldn’t be. No one could accuse you, Rania. You are too naive to do anything like that. I don’t know how to react to the situation, and she is too vulnerable to talk about it. I hold her hand, and in no time we are out of the theater, before the show has even ended.

  She doesn’t speak to me, her body still trembling with distress. As soon as we enter our suite, she takes off her jacket and rushes upstairs to the bedroom. I go after her; she looks pretty bad, emotionally and physically. When I get there, the bedroom is empty and the washroom door is closed. Without even knocking, I open the door and find her throwing up into the sink. Shit. She is sick. I rush toward her and hold her hair back, so she can get rid of everything. Was it something she ate at lunch, or is it her emotional cyclone that’s making her so sick?

  When she is completely drained, I wipe her face with a wet towel and take her out of the washroom. She is completely exhausted, and seems only half-conscious. I lay her down on the bed and call for a doctor immediately. I hate seeing her like this. I sit by her pillow and rub her hands. She is cold and frozen and not responding to anything. I take off her sandals and rub her feet gently. I have no training in first aid, and I don’t know what to do. After about ten minutes, I hear the doorbell from the main level, and I rush quickly to open the door.

  “Doctor Lucas.” The doctor offers his hand. He is accompanied by his assistant.

  “Adam Gibson. Please, come in.”

  The doctor checks Rania’s pulse and tries to open her eyes, and then asks his assistant to check her blood pressure.

  “If you don’t mind, can I ask what relationship you have with her?” the doctor asks, worriedly.

  “She is my girlfriend. Anything serious, Doctor?”

  “She is experiencing orthostatic hypotension.” The doctor is still holding her wrist. He looks at me and continues. “A kind of low blood pressure, that often happens when a person stays idle in one position for a long time.” The doctor takes some medicine from his bag, and an IV injection. “Do you know if she is allergic to anything?” I shake my head. “Is she pregnant?”

  “No, Doctor. Not a chance.”

  “Do you know if she is on any medication? An anti-depressant or anti-anxiety?” I open the bedside drawer and take out her medicine, and hand it over to him.

  “She has been taking this?” The doctor looks at the bottle dubiously, and then to me. “Any idea for how long?”

  “She told me she has been taking them for four or five years. But she has not been taking them the last couple of nights.”

  “Did she consult a doctor before discontinuing them?”

  “No, Doctor. What’s wrong?�
�

  “Nothing to worry about. Her blood pressure dropped suddenly from anxiety or a shock. Anything happen recently?”

  “Not much. We went to watch an opera and she got emotional about it. When we came back here, she threw up everything she had at lunch, and then passed out. But why isn’t she waking up, Doctor?”

  “She will, in a little while. She is just drained. When she wakes up, make sure you feed her properly. I have given her medicine to regulate her blood pressure, but I would advise you to take her to consult a physician before quitting this medicine.” He rotates the bottle and hands it back to me. “Has she been sleeping well without it?”

  “Yes, she slept well.” Am I supposed to inform the doctor about her nightmare, or is it too personal to share? “She had trouble sleeping before, so she told me she was given this medicine.”

  “Indeed. That’s what this medicine used for. But are you sure she slept well last night?”

  “Definitely, Doctor. I was with her all night. She didn’t wake up and she went to sleep before I did.”

  “That’s interesting. It’s good she doesn’t need it anymore. Anyhow, these are not good on a long-term basis and I would not recommend them at such a young age, especially to women. It can affect their ability to bear children.”

  “Any precautions, Doctor?”

  “Not really. Just feed her well, especially with fresh juices. And make sure she doesn’t experience any shock. Her body is too weak to respond to traumas.” He stands up and pauses for a second. “And no pregnancy in the meantime, Mr. Gibson. It would not be good for the baby or for her. Make sure she has blood tests before opting for pregnancy. Let her body heal in its own way first.” He starts to leave, then pauses at the door. “And please, take care of her. She is vulnerable. Good night.” He shakes hands with me and leaves.