Liam steps down off the table, making it clear that’s the end of the discussion. Throngs of people file out the door, already discussing which of their limited possessions they plan to pack with them. I sit down on one of the empty benches. I don’t have anything other than a few extra sets of clothes to pack, and I won’t be going with everyone else anyway. Constance and Thomas follow the crowd outside, but Daniel stays next to me.
“I was worried about you today.” He reaches for my hand, but draws it back before his fingers touch mine. “You were gone when I woke up, and when the attack happened I wasn’t sure where to find you. I thought you might be at breakfast so I came here first, but you weren’t here and no one had seen you.”
“I was fine.”
“But I didn’t know that. I went to the PE office, but when I went in the bakery it was trashed and there was a guard looting the place.” Daniel squeezes his eyes shut. “I shot him.”
I stare at my clasped hands, not sure what to say next. Thomas was the first one up the stairs so I assumed he shot the guard.
“Where did you get the gun?”
“I have one from Arbor Glen. I keep it under our bed.”
I lift my stare to Daniel’s face, and the pain written across his normally happy features is like a punch straight to my gut. Silent tears stream down his cheeks and his dark brown eyes are watered over.
“I shot him. And he bled in front of me, lying on the ground. There was so much blood, and he only took a few breaths before his chest stopped moving, and even if I wanted to, there was no way to save him.”
I grab his shoulders and pull all of him into me. “You couldn’t save him, but you probably saved my life. And Constance and Carol.” I rub my hands in steady circles around his back.
“I didn’t try to save him.” Daniel wipes at his cheeks and stares back at me, the hint of emotion disappearing with his teardrops. “I wanted him dead.”
I can actually feel my heart rending into two pieces. Is it possible to survive with a severed heart? I pull back until I can look at Daniel directly in his eyes, but he darts them away from me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
It’s like I’m staring at a stranger. This closed off man in front of me, with no emotions on his face and hatred rotting away the joy that used to fill his heart. I don’t know if I should hug him or slap him, and I doubt either one would have any effect. Every hour he slips deeper into this anger, like quicksand pulling him under, and I’m terrified he’ll never find his way back to the surface.
“Rebecca?”
Daniel and I both turn at the sound of Liam’s voice right next to us. I long to pull Daniel closer, but even when we were locked in Quarantine, he’s never felt farther away from me.
“I know there’s a lot going on, but we need to talk.”
I nod, knowing exactly what’s coming. “You want me to leave now.”
Liam closes his eyes and sits for a beat before staring back at us. “Not this instant, but tomorrow, when the rest of the village heads out to their new homes. I think you should go then.”
Daniel tenses next to me. “What are you talking about? You say go as if Rebecca isn’t moving with everyone else.”
“She isn’t.”
“The Cardinal’s ass she’s not. You can’t send her into exile just because of the Cardinal.” Daniel jumps up, swaying on a single crutch, and he’s in Liam’s face before I can stop him. “What happened to your speech about protecting our own and how Rebecca is one of us? Was that all just lip service?”
“No one is sending Rebecca into exile.”
Daniel is nose to nose with Liam, practically spitting his words at him. “Then what do you call it?”
“More of a tactical mission of sorts.” Daniel turns at my words, his black brows drawn in confusion.
“Sit down, Daniel, and I’ll explain everything.” Liam gestures back to the bench at my side and gives Daniel the micro version of our discussion this morning.
“So where do we go first?”
I kiss the back of Daniel’s hand and brace for the storm my words are sure to bring. “You can’t come with me.”
“Well, that’s the dumbest thing you’ve said in a while.”
His emotions are still raw, so I let the jab at my crazier ideas slide. “I’ll have to move via the absolute quickest routes. That means very few stops and traveling over terrain that isn’t a nice winding path. It will be difficult for anyone, but impossible for someone still recovering from a bullet wound.”
“I’m fine.”
“I know, but fine isn’t good enough for this trip. Plus, you need to stay close to Doc where he can keep your wound clean and make sure you heal perfectly. I’ll need you in tip top shape when I get back here with our new army.”
Daniel doesn’t argue with me, but his lips are pulled tight against the words I can tell he still wants to say. Instead of yelling, he walks away and rips out a chunk of my soul with him.
I cut Liam off with a raised hand before he can ask me anything about Daniel. “Later.” At some point, I’ll have to talk to someone about how my husband has turned into a stranger, but I can’t do it now.
“Okay. Have you decided who you’re taking with you? We’ll need to let them know now.” Liam pulls out his Noteboard to enter the names. I can’t imagine the task ahead of him to track where each member of our village is going.
“Ethan and Eric.”
Liam punches in the names while nodding. “Good choices. Those two work well together and three people will make the watch shifts easier.” He taps a few more buttons and stands. “Just grab whatever you need from the storerooms. We’ll have to abandon most of it here anyway. I wish we could talk more, but I have an entire village to settle.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t tell everyone about our plan while they were here. Something to give them even a little bit of hope.”
“I had planned to, but the discussion got a little out of hand. I’ll tell them when the time is right, but it’s too much right now. You should go get packed and let Ethan and Eric know about the plan.”
“Liam.” He gives me his attention, and I can read in his eyes that he’s barely holding it all together. I stand up and wrap him in a hug. “I’m sorry about your dad. It’s not fair that you just got him back only to lose him again so soon.”
Liam holds me back, the air wobbling in and out with each breath. We stand like that for a few quiet moments before he pulls back, wiping at his eyes. “Life’s not fair.” He tucks the Noteboard under his arm, turns, and leaves.
Seven
The release ceremonies are short, and I hate it, but it has to be this way. We’re risking enough with the huge fires now that we know the Cardinal has our location. While I packed saddle bags full of smoked fish and cheese, I thought about suggesting to Liam that we skip the fire altogether. But then I thought about how I would feel if it were Constance or Elizabeth that died today. Could I pack up and leave knowing that we left their bodies to rot in an empty village? Not in a hundred years.
The guards were dumped in a small ditch outside of the village. Liam wanted to burn them, too, but the blaze for that many people would have put the entire village in harm’s way. In the end we had a quiet dinner, followed by a quiet ceremony, and then everyone quietly left to spend their last night in Allmore.
It took less than ten minutes to pack everything I own in the same backpack Eric gave me when we escaped from the PIT. All I have are some extra pairs of pants and shirts, most of which used to be Ana’s, a spare pair of shoes, and one of the bags that Molly made us back in the PIT.
One of Ana’s maps is my only luxury item, if you can call a moth-eaten map a luxury. We have plenty of slightly newer maps that would work just as well, but this is the one Ana always went back to. The one with all of her carefully penned annotations about which leaders are the most interested in new trade items and who has the best leather. Taking it with us risks damaging it beyond
repair, but I can’t leave it here on the chance the Cardinal burns the whole village down.
Liam sent riders ahead of the groups this afternoon. They went mostly south and east, as far from the capital as possible. There are several friendly villages down that way, though we tend to do most of our trading to the west. Hopefully, sending our people to villages we have less contact with will keep everyone safer for longer.
But we all know the safety isn’t long-term. Now that it’s clearly a priority, it’s only a matter of time before the Cardinal finds all the other villages. Making my job even more important.
I still have no idea how I’m going to convince an entire continent of strangers to fight together against the most powerful man in the world. But I’m the only one with doubts. When I approached Ethan and Eric with the current plan, they were both on board immediately. Eric even told Liam to make sure they don’t go too far south since we should be back soon with reinforcements to invade the capital.
Thinking about any of it makes me want to be sick, but the worst part is knowing I have to leave Daniel tomorrow morning.
The fires from the release are still burning strong, but Liam sends everyone off to get a good night’s sleep. A few closer friends and family will stay until the single pyre is nothing more than a pile of ash. Daniel and I walk in silence back to our home. Even though we barely got to use it, it still feels sad to leave our new little house. I know exactly how much work Daniel and the others put into getting this ready for our wedding, and that makes it all the more special.
Each little detail is a testament to Daniel’s love for me. We walk wordlessly into the living room, and the memory of setting off the heater and smoking ourselves out of the room comes flying back to me. This is the room where Daniel gave me an orange and asked me to marry him…again. Or technically the first time, since I was the one who did the asking back in the PIT. It’s amazing how many memories we were able to make in such a short amount of time.
The silence stretches on as we both get ready for bed. Neither one of us is ready to speak the words that we know will have to come. The ones that acknowledge that this is our last night together for who knows how long. The goodbyes that will have to make up for the months that will separate tonight from the next time we can be together.
We fought so hard in the PIT to stay together, and now that we’re finally free to really be together, we have to separate again.
“I have something for you.” Daniel’s voice is heavy with the reality of the night. He hands me a small package wrapped in a coarse burlap bag. “It was supposed to be a wedding gift, but…”
He doesn’t have to explain why I’m just now getting this. Any plans we had for the wedding night flew out the window the minute Mary rode into the middle of our ceremony with the news that Arbor Glen was under attack.
I reach out to give him a hug, but he leans back, away from the contact.
“Open your present.”
His clipped words slice through me, leaving red, gaping wounds behind. I weigh the gift in my hands. It’s about the same size and shape as my Noteboard, and it weighs about the same. I peel away the scraps of burlap to unveil… “A Noteboard.”
The disappointment I’m trying to hide must leak through my words.
“Not just any Noteboard.” Daniel grabs my old Noteboard out of my packed bag. “Take this to the living room and turn it on.”
I have no idea what Daniel is up to, but he’s actually showing interest in something other than hunting down the Cardinal, so I’ll go along. I scurry out to the living room and turn my old Noteboard on. “Okay,” I shout back toward our room. “I’m on.”
I stare at the screen for a few seconds, and then a little light pulses on the side with a high-pitched beep that sounds in time with the flash of light. Back home, that was the indication that your Noteboard had an incoming call. I push the same button on the edge that I would have back home, and Daniel’s face fills the screen.
My fingers loosen and I nearly send the computer pad crashing to the tile floor. “This is your present.”
I don’t know what to say. Forever ago I asked Daniel to figure out a way for us to use the Noteboards for long-distance communication, but I didn’t really think we’d be able to do it.
“How?”
“Come back in here, and I’ll show you.”
I clutch the Noteboard to my chest and rush back to the bedroom. Daniel is sitting with his back to the headboard, my new Noteboard resting in his lap.
He’s barely touched me since we got back to Allmore, but I’m done with that. I jump onto the bed and thank him with a deep kiss.
Daniel snakes his arms around me and pulls me across his lap, displacing the Noteboard. I lace my hands behind his neck and tangle them in the soft strands of hair he’s let grow out. His fingers dance up and down my spine over my thin nightgown, sending tingles radiating through my body. His lips chart a course from mine, across my jaw and down my neck, like an explorer searching for gold.
I breathe in the smell that is all Daniel, pine and oil mixed with some magical elixir that sends waves of heat through my belly.
My arms pull tighter against him until not so much as a whispering breeze could move between us. I lean in until my lips are pressed against the bottom of Daniel’s earlobe and just barely brush up, eliciting a deep groan from the middle of his chest.
“Are you going to show me how the Noteboard works?” My whispered words come out warm against his ear.
Daniel pulls his mouth from my neck and makes a sound I’ve never heard before, something between a grunt and a growl. He grasps my waist with both hands and turns until I’m lying back against the bed, and Daniel hovers just above me. “Later.”
His lips find mine again, and any thoughts of Noteboards, dead guards, or armies are lost in a jumble of kisses and soft touches. Tonight is about recovering lost moments and savoring what we still have.
Eight
All the levity of last night disappeared with the morning sun. We can’t put off the goodbye any longer.
Daniel and I both dress and pack away the last of what we’re taking with us. Some extra clothes, a toothbrush, and Ana’s old map are all the physical items I have to show for my time here in Allmore, but I know I’m taking all the memories as well. A small part of me hopes that we’ll be able to come back here someday, but I know the reality of that future isn’t likely.
“You’ll need these as well.” Daniel hands me a small bag filled with dozens of metal chips the size of my thumbnail. He takes my new Noteboard and slides out a small port on the back to reveal an identical chip. “When you get to the villages, let whoever is in charge of their tech take a look at this. They should be able to see what I’ve done, but it’s not overly complicated. They just have to solder it in place. Most of them will have disabled the calling function on their Noteboards, but it’s easy enough to turn it back on. If anyone has trouble, you can call me, and I’ll walk them through it.”
“What exactly does the chip do?”
“It’s like a micro Faraday cage that only blocks the Cardinal’s signal. Frank and I have been working on it since I got here, but we just got it perfected a few weeks ago.”
We stand in silence for a few minutes. Daniel worked with Frank the way I worked with Ana. But they are both gone, and the torch has passed whether we’re ready for it or not.
Sounds of life stir outside as everyone makes their way to the dining hall. Liam stopped by an hour ago to let us know he wants everyone at a final breakfast. He was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and his bloodshot eyes confirmed he hadn’t been to bed.
Daniel and I grab our backpacks, and I give our little home one last look. Outside, the street is crowded with people headed toward the center of town. Tiny arms tackle my legs, and I look down to find Nellie holding on for dear life.
“Rebecca, it’s so exciting. Daddy says we’re going on an adventure, just like when he and Mama first came here before I was
a little baby.”
Margaret walks behind her with hooded eyes and tight lips. She just left her own home behind less than a week ago, and now she’s leaving again, but this time without her husband. Mary, Liam’s sister, scoops Nellie up into her arms and tickles her stomach until tears roll down her chubby toddler cheeks.
“Aunt Mary, stoaop!” Nellie squeals, and it brings a smile to the faces of those walking around us.
We don’t have much to smile about this morning, but the pure joy of a child makes the air a little easier to breathe.
The dining hall is just as crowded as last night, but everyone is somehow making it work. Squeezing in on the benches and letting children sit in laps. Liam was right to have this one last breakfast together. I don’t know why, but this calm slice of time where we’re all just sitting around doing a normal thing like eating breakfast makes this move feel less like running away. As if this slight delay is a sort of defiance against the Cardinal.
In front of us, Nellie squirms in Mary’s arms until she’s set down and can run to Liam. He looks twice as exhausted as he did an hour ago. Margaret and Mary take Nellie back and settle her into a seat to eat. Liam nods at them and gives a half-smile that never reaches his eyes. His relationship with his family is still rocky, but at least he’s trying.
I leave Daniel leaning against an open spot of wall and return a few minutes later with two piping hot bowls of oatmeal. We chew in silence while the rest of the village enjoys one final breakfast.
As the last few stragglers make their way in, Liam climbs up onto the same table as last night, and just like then, the room silences without any prompting from him.
“Good morning, everyone.”
A chorus of “good morning” answers him back.
“First, I want to thank everyone for their hard work and patience over the past twenty-four hours. So much was asked of you, yet each and every person, without exception, did what needed to be done in order to ensure that we can all stay safe.” Liam nods his head and takes a minute to really look around the room. His words aren’t just lip service. He really is grateful. He loves Allmore, and this has to be killing him.
Rite of Redemption (Acceptance Book 3) Page 4