Everything You Need: Everything For You Trilogy Book 1

by Bailey, Orla

  I can’t help it, I have to speak. “Do you want something, Amanda?”

  She scoffs as if to let me know hell will freeze over before she wants anything from me, although it’s clearly not true. She wants something or she wouldn’t be here.

  “That’s Ms Devereaux to you.” Not a social call then. “He’s only using you.”

  Her words are too close to my deepest held fears to be of no consequence.

  “Does Jack know you’ve followed me?” I want to bite my tongue. A woman like Ms Devereaux needs an equally acid-tongued retort to put her in her place but such words evade me. If she knew how much she was getting to me she’d be clapping her hands with glee. Yet her superciliousness is rather too sparkling to be real. If she didn’t see me as some sort of threat she wouldn’t be here.

  She goes straight for the jugular. “Has he fucked you?”

  I blush furiously. “That’s none of your business.”

  She shrieks with laughter. “He hasn’t, has he?”

  What a total bitch. Ask me again tomorrow.

  “Oh darling, you want him don’t you? But he’ll never be yours. A man like Jack needs a real woman, not a child.”

  She’s good: instinctively toying with all my insecurities at once. I walk over to dry my hands trying to appear indifferent. I do my level best to prevent myself shallow breathing and the whole vicious cycle of an attack arising. I wouldn’t rely on Amanda to save me. I want to escape back to Jack but I’m not giving this woman the satisfaction despite feeling like some timid furry creature she’s prodding through the bars of a cage.

  “He’s playing with you. He always did have a wicked sense of humour.”

  “It’s not like that.” She doesn’t know about our deal. Does she? Is Jack playing with me? I’ve thought so myself often enough but tonight I dared hope otherwise.

  “Powerful men like Jack need their fun. You challenged him. I was there, remember? He’s not going to let an insignificant child get away with that.” Her words are designed to irritate and they’re working.

  “If I’m insignificant, why are you so concerned about it?” And I wish she would stop calling me a child.

  Spite mars her perfect features. “I’m saving you the inevitable pain that will follow, you foolish girl.” She knows just where to stick the knife.

  “You’re warning me off and I have to ask myself why.”

  “His business is his life. Nothing and no-one gets in the way of that.”

  “Again. Why is that your concern?”

  “Can’t you work it out?” Her whole stance adopts a pose of triumph. Her body tells me what she refuses to.

  I won’t let myself go there. “You’re just upset your company’s dirty little under-the-table deal didn’t go down,” I counter.

  Her face hardens. She must be botoxed to the max because despite her best efforts to grimace at me, I can’t see a wrinkle. “And you’re trying to change his mind the only way your type knows how.” She looks me up and down like I’m some sweaty, second-hand cover-all. “It would be sad if it wasn’t so pathetic. And cheap.”

  I want to slap her face for making everything sound so sordid. I’ve wanted Jack my whole adult life. I want the Zee-Com contract back too. Am I only pursuing one to get the other? It’s all too awful and messy to contemplate.

  “Does that make you feel better about me and him being together?” I ask her.

  “Watching you make a complete fool of yourself over a man who is toying with you, delights me no end.” She stalks past me on her way to the door, stopping to hiss in my ear. “He’ll never want you. He’ll have fun at your expense and move on. You’re not the first.”

  I hear the door open and close behind me. I don’t turn round but know she’s gone. The room feels instantly ten degrees warmer. I don’t even want to think about all the other women Jack has slept with. Worst of all, she’s definitely one of them. She’s jealous that I might be next. Is this how Jack leaves all women feeling?

  My only consolation is she feels abandoned too. That whole act confirms it. If she hadn’t been so mean I might have pitied her. It’s a cold winter when Jack’s warmth no longer falls on you. I’ve been there before and know I’ll be in that place again soon enough.

  Am I walking blindly into disaster? Will I mutate into another Amanda eventually, trapping other women in bathrooms to size them up and damage their fragile egos in my pain, unable to accept I’ve been used and dumped? Will that next woman almost pity me for my loss too?

  Jack’s earlier warning returns to haunt me. Would you know if you’re getting out of your depth? I’m not sure I can do this anymore. My head spins as I contemplate the awful possibilities.

  I have to go back outside sometime. Jack has his back turned to me when I emerge. Amanda is standing in front of him and I watch them together dumbfounded. She glances over his shoulder at me and suddenly kisses him. Full on the lips. Her eyes stare at mine as she does it. She’s marking her territory and proving her words to me.

  Jack’s hands rise to her forearms. I can’t see his face, only hers but she smiles at him devotedly and lifts her hand to smudge her lipstick from his lips. I’m frozen to the spot. In agony. He leans in and whispers something in her ear which I can’t hear over the music or the distance. She blows him a kiss, turns and sashays off into the crowd turning once to glance back, first at him adoringly, then at me in a totally opposite manner.

  I recognise triumph when I see it.

  I wait a minute more. Jack still has his back to me, watching her go. I’m devastated to see his hand travel to his lips, feeling the echo of her kiss, just like I did earlier to his. Shock and hurt overwhelm me. I’d hoped Amanda was simply jealous and bitter but she’s established her words to me are true.

  He’s playing with me and I’m playing with fire and going to get burned. Jack paces. He turns and glowers in my direction striding over to grasp me by the elbow. He doesn’t look happy. Perhaps I’m keeping him from the woman he really wants to be with.

  “Five more minutes and I was coming in there.”

  I try to seem casual. “That might liven up this dreary ball a bit.” I yank my arm from his and pull ahead into the crowd with no idea where I’m going.

  He doesn’t know I’ve seen them together. I imagine Amanda hasn’t told him she’s put me straight either. Everyone is keeping nasty little secrets from everyone else. The fact Jack hasn’t mentioned what I’ve just witnessed adds weight to Amanda’s claims. If the pair of them are playing games with me, I don’t have to be a party to it. My deal is with Jack Keogh, pure and simple. If I keep my part of the bargain, he’d better keep his.

  Let him punish me and toy with me. It will only make it that much easier to distance myself emotionally in the end.

  Jack appears disturbed, distracted. Those vertical frown lines appear between his eyebrows. For once, I don’t want to smooth them away with my thumbs. He deserves them. Is he thinking about her? Missing her company? Wishing he could end this pathetic little charade with me and go to her? Well I intend to rub both their noses in it.

  “I want to dance, Mr Keogh.” This time I’ll give Amanda a show worth watching.

  Jack glances down like he’s just remembered I’m here. His frown eases. His lips turn into a soft smile. He’s good, I’ll give him that. Really good. If I hadn’t seen him and Amanda with my own eyes, I’d still believe he felt something for me.

  “A desire easily accomplished, Miss Caid.” He clasps my hand in his and the touch of his warm skin on mine almost melts my resolve. At the edge of the dance floor, he twirls me into his embrace and holds me securely against him. “Just follow my lead. It’s not difficult. The closer you keep your body to mine, the easier you’ll find it.”

  “Isn’t that a seducer’s hackneyed line?”

  “We can put that theory to the test later.”

  “Perhaps.”

  He arches his brow at me. “Don’t make me break a promise.”

  Just a hea
rt, I think.

  He twirls us into the midst of the moving couples. As breath evades my body I curse my romantic soul. It hurts so much more knowing this is only a game to him but I can’t delude myself any longer. I’ve never truly got over loving Jack Keogh and guarding my heart from the devastation he can wreak will be an agonizing feat of endurance, possibly well beyond my capabilities.

  The hard landscape of his muscular strength buttresses my soft curves from breast to thigh as we dance. When I lag, he eases his leg between mine to achieve closer contact between us and I can’t hold back a gasp. He’s flush against me, pressing, pushing until faithless tension builds in my core and his smile tells me he knows it. The evocative scent of him threatens to overwhelm me.

  I search past his shoulder to distance myself. She’s out there somewhere. Watching. I can feel it. But I need to see Amanda’s eyes witnessing my display. She’s the bucket of cold water I need thrown over me right now.

  His hand splays against my lower back, forcing me against him harder with every step. I can’t separate myself and don’t really want to. It’s exhilarating. Being in his arms like this is everything I’ve ever desired. It doesn’t matter that I don’t know the steps as he moves us as one under his self-assured guidance. The way he pins my body to his, to realise I’m merely a puppet moving at his will, would take an expert.

  Or Amanda.

  Jack faultlessly directs me through each fast-moving step, shamelessly teasing me with his thigh and watching his magic at work with a gentle smile on his face and a soft focus in his eyes. The fundamental sensuality of his movement as his hips and legs flex and sway arouses me greatly and I struggle against my own natural responses. I’m breathless and dizzy with desire for him in no time, wishing we were alone, despite everything.

  To ground myself, I turn my head aside wanting to see if Amanda is as shocked and angry as I was when I caught them both kissing but his hand tilts my chin back to his so he can stare into my eyes.

  “Focus on me. I don’t want you to fall.”

  “I wouldn’t get very far. You’re holding me too tight.”

  “Perhaps I don’t want you getting away.” He spins me round fast and I clutch my hands in his jacket.

  “I have to wonder why.”

  “Because you’re sweet and lovely, Tabby cat. The one perfect thing in this senseless world.”

  I so want to believe his lies. But I have the evidence of my own eyes and he’s already told me my trusting nature is the very reason I’ll fail. I wonder what sweet words he whispered to Amanda when they kissed a moment ago. Does he amuse himself thinking about her while he seduces me? Perhaps they concocted my downfall together in their stolen moments. She’s all but shown me she knows it will happen.

  I stare into the face of the man I thought I knew so well in my naivety. His black pupils dilate, the darkness triumphing over the blue clarity of light. Anger and passion war within him and I’ve loved to dream I inspired the second of those emotions but now I realise it’s only the first. Trapped in a timeless moment, the music plays, the world fades and Jack enchants my hapless soul. I know he can have me, I cannot resist him. He will use me, abandon me and destroy me all over again.

  He slows, his mouth sinking to mine and his kisses drug me.

  How can I fight it? I want him too much even if I know he’ll break my heart. As he places his lips on mine again, my sorry heart begins to fracture.

  “Excuse me, sir. Mr Keogh?” A muffled voice intrudes on our silence.

  Jack slowly separates our bodies. We both steady ourselves after the maelstrom our kissing incites. He looks at me like we’re each waking from a long sleep. Jack is visibly bothered by the interruption and snaps irritably, so unlike the controlled public face he’s maintained almost all evening.

  “What is it?”

  A member of the Mansion House staff delivers a message. “There’s an urgent telephone call on the internal line for you, Mr Keogh. I’ve been asked to fetch you immediately.”

  He reacts instantly and I see his famed decisiveness return. He speaks to the staff member first. “One moment.”

  Jack turns to me. His breathing is as laboured as mine. “Will you be alright here?” He manoeuvres me to the edge of the dance floor and presses me into one of the upholstered sofas lining the walls.

  “Of course. I’ll be fine. Go.” The chance to recover a fraction of my wits is a blessing in disguise. It’s so easy for him to engulf me.

  He hesitates a moment. “Stay here. Don’t move an inch.” He looks at me as if I might disappear in a puff of smoke. “I mean it.” He sounds like he won’t be happy if I defy him over this.

  “I’ll be right here, waiting. Go and take your call. It’s urgent,” I remind him.

  He drops my hand into my lap and turns back to the messenger. “Lead the way.”

  I watch until he’s out of sight, wondering what could be so imperative that he’s called out of the ball. Irrationally, I worry for him. I try to tell myself he doesn’t deserve my concern but I can’t help it. Perhaps it’s his family. I know how much he loves them. I hope it isn’t.

  “Miss Caid, isn’t it?”

  I turn my head to see the young man who was standing on the periphery of the Advance team earlier. “Oh. Yes.” I’m not sure what to say to him as he sits down beside me. “And you are?”

  He offers his hand to me, in a very formal manner. “Ben Gunn.”

  I swivel my neck further and look at him questioningly. The name seems familiar.

  He laughs. “Yes, I know. Parents with a sense of humour,” he explains.

  It comes to me all of a sudden. “Treasure Island.” I blurt it out.

  He winces. “Marooned on a desert island for failing to find the treasure.”

  “Sorry,” I say. I’m not sure exactly why I’m sorry. Half my mind still remains out on the dance floor with Jack. A suspicion flashes into my mind that the Advance team have sent him over to extract information from me so I grow a bit more distant and clam up.

  “Warm isn’t it?” he says staring at all the couples dancing.

  “Very.” I expect it must be when you’re wearing a full dress tux. In my cut-away silk gown, I feel fine. The only time I feel hot is when I’m in Jack’s arms and that isn’t the same thing at all.

  “Quite a crowd.”

  I wonder why he’s making small talk with me. It’s not like I’m stupid enough to give away my business plans. We are rivals after all. Then I remember the way he leered at me in my red dress. God, no. I hope this isn’t what I think it is.

  “Aren’t you fraternising with the enemy?” I ask, hoping he’ll take the hint and go away.

  He laughs again. He seems very natural, relaxed and friendly. “Just because I work for a company, doesn’t mean I’ve sold my soul to the devil.”

  I can’t help grinning at that. It’s probably a very good description of what I’m doing with Jack.

  “Do you want to dance?” he asks. “While you’re waiting.”

  He knows I’m waiting? “No thanks. Just sitting this one out.”

  “Come on. This is your first time, isn’t it?” He’s been well briefed. It sets a further note of caution. “Mine too. We might never get asked again.”

  I know I don’t want to dance with him. He’s Advance’s man no matter how friendly he appears to be. And Jack warned me not to move. I’m not doing anything to jeopardise the fragile status which exists between us.

  “No, thank you. I’m not dancing.” No mixed messages. Jack would be proud.

  “One won’t hurt.”

  He’s scowling and seems a lot less relaxed than he was a minute ago. He’s been sent on a mission and getting me to dance with him is the first step. How this should help Advance’s cause, I have no idea. Bullying me to dance won’t make me spill my guts. Do they really see me as such a push-over?

  “I said, no.”

  “Come on. It’s only a little dance.” All friendliness evaporates. He has sold
his soul to the devil. He stands, grabs my hand and yanks me to my feet in one decisive pull.

  He’s stronger than he looks and his unexpected assault throws me off balance in my towering heels, slamming me straight into his body. He grips me tightly to him, snaking his arms around me and holding me forcefully against my will.

  “Get off me.” I struggle.

  “You didn’t mind when Jack Keogh did it.”

  “You were watching us?” The thought makes my skin crawl.

  Without an inch of space between our bodies I’m already struggling to inhale. I scrabble to gain a firmer footing and raise my hands to his chest to try and push myself away.

  His mouth lands against my temple and I feel his hot, harsh breath on my skin. I can’t get free and my breath shortens further.

  “That’s it, sweetheart,” he gasps. “Feel it.” He presses himself into me and I recoil in disgust.

  “Why are you doing this?” I manage to wheeze.

  “Good for business,” he whispers against my hair before he inhales deeply. “You smell good. You look sexy. I want to rip that rag right up the middle and fuck you senseless, you little tart. Are you even wearing any knickers?”

  I’m repulsed. I try to draw enough breath to scream at him to get off me. I no longer care if I make a spectacle of myself. But he pre-empts my next move, splaying his palm at the back of my head and grinding his filthy mouth painfully against mine to keep me quiet.

  “Get your fucking mouth off my woman!” It’s Jack. Thank God.

  Oh God.

  Jack. Raging mad. Gunn freezes, his mouth still hard against mine. I can’t move even to speak. I cast my eyes at Jack pleadingly, bound in Gunn’s terrible clinch.

  Jack rips me out of the death-like grip containing me and pulls me behind him. He grabs Gunn by the lapels and shoves him firmly backwards. Gunn sprawls over a couple of empty chairs. People move rapidly out of the way expecting trouble. Jack strides after Gunn and heaves him bodily upright again with ease. I see Gunn cringe under the onslaught, muttering lies, no doubt. Jack growls something equally inaudible right into Gunn’s face. I know it’s pretty bad as Gunn’s skin takes on an instant pallor. He turns and stumbles away across the crowded dance floor, knocking blindly into couples in his hurry to escape.