“Don’t say that. Please, Nahvid, just believe me when I say I would never intentionally hurt anyone! Especially anyone connected to you!” she claimed. “Shit is just out of control. I can’t get time back. I did what I did and I’m standing here in front of you taking responsibility for that. I’m so sorry for what I did. You are the last person who I would betray. I need help. I just want all of this to go away,” she whispered. She hoped that her transparency was enough to make him see that she was being authentic. Her eyes burned with sincerity and she breathed heavily from the turmoil of it all. This was hell; they both were burning in a love affair that was highly unlikely ... yet one that they each yearned for.
Nahvid turned his back to her and placed his balled fist to his forehead as he leaned against the wall, eyes shut, mind racing, heart banging. Raegan’s offense against his camp was huge and her offense against his life was even greater. Nahvid had murdered men for much less but he couldn’t deny that through all the bullshit he cared for her. He knew that at their greatest, their love was one unrivaled by any the history books had ever seen. More attractive than Zya and Snow, more notorious than Young Carter and Miamor, more dedicated than Anari and Von, and more unpredictable than YaYa and Indie’s ... their story hadn’t been written yet. It was too new and the invisible forces of the universe were too strong. She was like a magnet: her pull on him was insane. Nita’s face flashed through his mind and he felt a lump form in his throat. His mother had been living wrong for so long so could Nahvid truly place all of the blame on Raegan?
Raegan stood back silently as she watched the inner battle he was fighting and she was sick because she was the cause of it. She shuffled in her stance nervously, her face twisted in uncertainty and agony. Love had a way of hurting the most when it wasn’t on track and they both were suffering for different reasons. She walked over to him reluctantly and wrapped her arms around him as she rested her cheek on his strong back. He didn’t turn to face her, but the sensation of her arms around him seemed to fill him up. His entire life he had been walking through the world half loved, half appreciated. Nita hadn’t been able to love him fully because she was too in love with herself. Her crack addiction had taken all of her to the point where she had nothing left to give to her son and when Raegan stepped in she seemed to fill the void. He had not allowed himself to love but she had melted his frozen emotions. He had had badder, richer, slimmer, nicer, women than she ... but none had been she. No other woman had been able to position herself next to him and carve out a spot in his life that was only fit for one. It wasn’t her perfections that he adored ... it was her imperfections.
“Please, Nahvid. You have to know that I love you. I need help. I just need you to help me, Nah. Forgive me and just take all of this away,” she whispered as her tears wet the fabric of his shirt.
“I’ll make it go away, ma,” he whispered. The words tasted like vinegar falling off of his lips, but he said them anyway. He couldn’t let his pride stop him from being there for her. Seeking revenge against her would be like biting off his nose to spite his face. He turned toward her and gripped her face between his strong hands as he stared at her intensely. “Just be loyal to me. You should have come to me from the beginning. Your girls wanted to make their paper, I could have put ’em to work, ma. Nobody around me is starving, but loyalty is what I require to be in my circle. You understand?” he asked as he held her chin firmly, scolding her and loving her all in one speech.
“I understand,” she answered. “I’m afraid of you now. I feel like you’re going to punish me for what happened to your mom. I’m terrified that you’ll hurt Micah or hurt me.”
Nahvid swallowed her words as he bent down to kiss her lips. It was crazy how in an instant he could make her world better. He slid her dress up and found that she wore no panties. It took no time for him to fill the space between her legs. Dripping wet she soaked him as he bounced her up and down on his thickness, hitting every spot so right that he made her sore.
“I love you, Nah,” she whispered in rapture as her head bobbled back on her neck in ecstasy.
“I love you too. You’re my Sunny Rae. I need you to keep me sane.”
He grieved his mother, but she had always chosen her drug of choice over her son. Well Raegan was his drug of choice and now he understood his mother’s strife. She loved her son, but she was addicted ... as was he, to Raegan.
He drilled into her as he laid her across his desk, cupping her breasts as he admired her beautiful physique. She was thick, voluptuous, and still carried the weight from having a baby ... but it was all in the right places. She was a real woman and Nahvid knew that if they could get through this obstacle intact, she would be his for life. He felt the grime of the situation stick to his heart. His mother wasn’t even in the dirt yet and he was bedding someone who had contributed to her death. It was a choice that he would have to live with for the rest of his life, but one that he felt was worth it. He had never felt more whole; as a matter of fact he had been half fulfilled until he met Raegan.
As Raegan enjoyed the sheer bliss of his stroke she cried the entire time. She didn’t know that someone could love her so perfectly. His love was loyal ... flawless... unconditional. She found everything that she had been looking for in dudes over the years within him. He hit the back of her pussy like no one had ever done before. Her legs shook violently as she creamed all over him. Nahvid was still hard and his stamina was incredible as he pulled himself out of her. His dick was thick and deliciously chocolate. The veins on his length throbbed and begged for her to lick them. Without hesitation she got on her knees and took him into her mouth. Womanhood dripping onto her thigh as she swallowed him, deep-throating him as she bobbed down and planting loving kisses on the tip each time she pulled back.
“Come here,” he ordered. “Get on this dick, ma.”
She straddled him and gasped as he split her walls.
“You forgive me?” she whispered in his ear.
He touched her face and looked her in the eyes. He could see the remorse as he stared into her soul, but the motherless child inside of him would not allow him to fully forgive her sins against him. The overwhelming urge to hurt her surged through Nahvid as he lifted her off of him and turned her around. He entered her from behind, unyielding as lust mixed with anger caused him to be a bit rough. She winced and moaned all at once as Nahvid danced along the line of pain and pleasure. “Don’t run from me, ma,” he whispered as he gripped her hips and pounded into her middle. He spread her ass cheeks. She bit her lip to stifle the animalistic sounds that escaped her lips. Nahvid was punishing her and Raegan was taking it like a champ. She threw the pussy back at him like she was an all-star pitcher. Raegan knew her man and she could feel his frustration in the way that he stroked her. He was usually gentle and caring, but this session contained no sensitivity. It was raw and passion filled, but it was fueled by pain and Raegan recognized the difference. This wasn’t lovemaking ... it wasn’t what she had become accustomed to with him. Not with Nah, not from her man ... or was he even still hers?
Raegan’s heart hurt because of the pain that she had caused Nahvid. He had been good to her and she had repaid him with disloyalty. Knowing that she couldn’t take his strife away killed her, but she gave him her all sexually as her nails left markings in the wooden desk that she was sprawled across. She laid all her cards out on the table and tried to seduce him into forgiveness. Atonement. That’s all Raegan needed from him, but she was unsure if he was really capable of letting something so big go unchecked.
She had crossed him and she was well aware of his ruthless reputation in the streets. Her eyes would always be open for the double cross she expected to come her way. She would be paranoid with him and the two would never fully trust one another. Their relationship could never be exactly as it was. Nothing was the same as it had been and everything had changed for the worse.
Nahvid’s mind spun as he pressed her head down into the desk while he rocked in and out o
f her. It was too soon for him to even be in her presence, but like a moth to a flame he was drawn to her. Being with her was like self-destruction, yet still here he was dick deep inside of her womb, making promises of forgiveness that he wasn’t sure if he could keep. He wanted to be the noble man she had come to know, but the hood nigga in him wanted retribution. No one had ever disrespected him in the way that Raegan and her girls had. Love, he concluded, had softened him. The devotion that a man usually felt for his mother he felt for Raegan, and guilt plagued him because he held the woman of his dreams at higher regard than the woman who birthed him. Consumed with rage, lust, hate, love, and every emotion in between he took it out on Raegan’s body until he had nothing left. He came hard, causing her body to shudder as she shared in his satisfaction.
In the aftermath of their rapture neither knew exactly what to say. Eerie and doubtful of his affections for her, Raegan instantly doubted that they could ever go back to what they were. She wished that she could just hit reset and do things over again, but life wasn’t a game.
“What now?” she asked, as they adjusted their clothes. Her head hung low, unable to keep eye contact with him out of shame and remorse.
“Now we go home,” he whispered.
She looked up at him in disbelief. Pools of fresh tears sparkled in her eyes and fell gracefully down her cheeks. “Really?”
“I’m not saying we can fix this today, tomorrow, or the next day ... but one day things will be right again. I just know that I don’t want to lose you, ma.” As he said the words he felt like a sucker. He was going against everything that he stood for and all that he knew for her. If he had been watching from the outside he would have called himself a tender-dick nigga. He was moving like a chump and he was aware of that fact. This time he was putting logic to the side as he allowed his emotion to lead. He only hoped that he was making the best choice. Nahvid pray that Raegan was worth it.
“I can’t just desert my girls,” she said. “I just need to tell them–”
Nahvid shook his head and interrupted her. “That’s your business, but I can tell you that I don’t want them snake bitches around me. They’re on some federal shit so I can’t have my woman associated with that. Cut them off, Raegan, and when you’re done come home to your man.”
Chapter Eighteen
Reason watched as Nahvid left the restaurant. They had come up in the game together and had reigned supreme in D.C. with their iron-fist tactics. The way that Nahvid was handling this situation with Raegan was completely out of character. Reason had never jumped stupid or tried to overthrow the empire in the sake of greed, but the way things were looking it seemed as though it was time to dethrone the king. There was a crack in Nahvid’s armor and Reason was the only nigga close enough to see it. Reason wasn’t a grimy man, but he was loyal to the money above all else. Nahvid was jeopardizing everything they had built to chase pussy and Reason wasn’t having it. The D.C. nigga in him wanted to pop his melon on sight. He gripped the .45 that lay in his lap. If Nah had been any other nigga he would already be leaking on the sidewalk and before his body was cold in the ground Reason would have been courting the connect to a $500/plate dinner, but the years of friendship that they had established kept Nahvid breathing ... for now. Nahvid wasn’t the true problem. Everything was butter until that bitch stretched the nigga nose wide open, he thought.
Many women had divided many men, but Reason refused to allow Raegan to become a modern-day Helen of Troy. If Nahvid didn’t have the moxie to eliminate the issue, then Reason would gladly step in. There wasn’t a day that he woke up that Reason wasn’t prepared to put his murder game down. While Nahvid was the one calling in the death warrants, Reason was the actual one pulling the triggers. There was no hesitation when he was involved. He lived, ate, breathed, and shitted on these streets.
Raegan emerged from the restaurant and walked down the darkened streets swiftly. Her heart was heavy because she was about to step out on a limb with Nahvid, but it wasn’t strong enough to carry any extra weight. She had to cut her friends off.
She finally hailed a cab and made her way back to the hotel. Raegan was so distracted and torn over what she was about to do that she never noticed the vehicle tailing her. If she had been on point she might have seen the headlights reflecting through the rearview mirror. Instead she sat, unknowingly, as Reason preyed upon her.
“Wake up!” Raegan said as she turned on the light, illuminating the room.
“Hmm! What are you doing, Rae? Turn that shit back off. Whatever it is it can wait until morning,” Chanel groaned as she turned over and pulled the covers over her head.
“It’s important. Get up,” she said, antsy as her voice quivered.
“Are you okay?” Gucci asked, hearing the angst in Raegan’s tone. She sat up in her bed and instantly knew that something was awry. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going back to Nahvid.” Raegan let the words fly from her mouth and she braced herself for their response, but silence filled the room as Chanel sat up also.
The stare down between the three girls was intense as animosity built in each of their hearts.
“So I guess that leaves us on our own? That’s how you playing it, Raegan? We’re supposed to be in this together! That’s where you ran off to tonight?” Gucci whispered harshly, clearly upset.
“He has my son!” she shouted back.
“Raegan, stop! Stop acting like this is about Micah. That nigga got your head that’s what he got. If your kid was lying right here in this room your ass still would have gone back to that nigga. So now what? Of course you can go back cuz you’re fucking him, but what about us?”
Raegan didn’t respond, she opened her mouth to defend herself, but no words would come to her.
“Let me guess. We’re the grimy friends that corrupted his precious Sunny Rae? Right? That’s the way the story’s spinning? Well let me ask you something, Raegan. Did you tell him that this entire scheme started with you? If I recall the shit correctly robbing stash houses was your bright idea!”
Raegan knew that Chanel was speaking truth. She wished that she had never proposed the thought to start pulling capers.
“If she want to go then let her go,” Gucci said with a wave of her hand. “We’re all grown. I don’t know what makes you think he’s going to just forget that you played a role in killing his mama. She’s dead behind what we did. What makes you think he just gonna let you breathe when she’s no longer able to?”
A knock at the door interrupted the heated conversation and sent each girl into a panic.
“Who the fuck is that?” Chanel asked.
“Did Nahvid follow you here?” Gucci asked.
“No,” Raegan said.
“You sure?”
“Yes!” Raegan whispered.
Chanel reached under her pillow and removed her pistol, clicking the safety off like a pro as Gucci followed suit.
“You strapped?” she asked.
“You know it,” Raegan replied.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
“Housekeeping!” a woman’s voice rang out. The girls looked at one another knowing that they were being set up.
“He promised me,” Raegan whispered.
“He lied,” Gucci replied.
There was no way that housekeeping was coming through their room in the wee hours of the morning in a fleabag motel. They already knew who was on the other side of the door and there was only one way out.
Raegan cocked her pistol, her heart silently breaking as she walked over to the door. “Fuck it,” she said as she unloaded her clip into the wood.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
She kicked the door open and saw a bleeding woman fall backward into a man’s arms. Their eyes met for only a brief second before he raised his gun. The color drained completely from her face when she saw Reason.
He sent Reason after me, she thought.
Raegan had caught him off guard. He had never expected her to shoot first and ask
questions later. Reason had underestimated her ruthlessness. He certainly wasn’t prepared for all three of the girls to be strapped. They let their cannons bark, making it rain lead all around him. Reason shuffled backward, firing reckless cover shots and holding the woman he had paid to knock on the door as a human shield.
He was outgunned and he wasn’t one to defy the odds. He backed all the way up to his car, dropping the dead woman at his feet, before hopping in and speeding out of the parking lot.
The girls fired on him until they saw his taillights disappear from sight and their clips ran dry. “Fuck!” Chanel shouted.
Raegan’s stomach felt as if it were suddenly hollow as she gripped it in agony. “He lied to me ... he lied. My son ...”
“You fucked us!” Chanel shouted. “Your love-struck ass led Nahvid straight to us!”
Chanel and Raegan ran toward the room while Gucci headed toward the office. “The tape! I’m getting the tape!”
The bell above the office door rang as she stepped inside. She looked around, seeing no one, but she could hear a young girl whimpering. Gucci rushed behind the counter to find a white girl trembling beneath it.
“Get up. I’m not going to hurt you. You’re good. I just need the tapes of the property,” Gucci said.
The girl’s black mascara ran down her face and her hand trembled as she pointed to an old television set and VCR in the corner.
“Get it,” Gucci demanded as she pulled the girl to her feet. Sirens rang in the background drawing louder the closer they got. Gucci saw Raegan and Chanel running for the car. She silently wondered why she had ever gotten involved in something so dangerous. Maybe it was because for most of her life she felt as if she didn’t belong. She felt different and as though people didn’t respect her. Chanel and Raegan were the only friends she had ever really connected with. They accepted her without judgment and because of that she knew that she would ride this thing out with them until the very end. Gucci threw her head toward the TV set and said, “Get the tape and hurry,” Gucci ordered the girl. “We’ve got to get out of here,” she said to herself as the fear of being caught invaded her brain.
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