“I thought the whole point of reincarnation was to grow and change. Maybe we’ve both changed enough that it would work.”
“It takes time for soul mates to get to a place where they can be together for eternity. You’ve changed, because you’ve been living different lives. Alex is very much the man he was two hundred and fifty years ago. He’s used to getting his way. A relationship without compromise isn’t a relationship, and that’s what you’d get with him. You’d be the one doing all the compromising, and you’re so stubborn, I’m not sure you would compromise if he didn’t. It would be a disaster. Maybe if he stopped being your Protector and continued the reincarnation process and you both grew, you’d be better together in a life somewhere in the future. But he’s not going to do that. I don’t think you’d want to live in your current relationship with Alex for the rest of eternity.”
It was interesting to see my relationship with Alex from another perspective, even if the source was a bit biased. Still, it was nice to hear more about what my relationships and life had been like as Cassandra. A thought struck me though. “Aren’t you in the same position as Alex?”
Emil thinned his eyes. “The situations might seem similar, but they’re not.”
“How is it any different?” I asked. “You haven’t been evolving either.”
Emil pursed his lips in thought, and then seemed to decide on an answer. “Daevos members have more freedom than Protectors. I haven’t been evolving through separate lives for the past two hundred and fifty years, but I’ve still been learning and growing. A Protector like Alex is stuck wherever you are. He may not be watching you twenty-four-seven, especially if there’s not a threat, but his life revolves around you. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing. I’ve had the chance to travel, meet new people, have different life experiences. Alex has had some of that, but regardless of the experience he’s had, it’s always connected to you and an experience you’re having.
“I’ve watched you both for centuries, through many of your lives. While each soul’s human experience is all about evolution, there are other things—aspects of a soul rooted deep in their being—that stay constant. You and Alex are consistently stubborn. Could you really live with that for eternity? Could he?”
That was a good point. It would be like living with myself. I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.
“That’s the difference—one of many—between Alex and I, Evie. Alex thinks you’re his other half because you’re both the same. You share interests, you think alike, and you’re so similar, you argue constantly. That makes for good foreplay, but not a relationship. I know you’re my other half because we’re not exactly the same. I believe soul mates bring out the best in each other. They show each other how to improve. You make me a better person. So the question you have to answer is whether you think your soul mate is your twin, or your missing pieces.”
Emil’s perspective was interesting, and not one I’d considered before. I knew there was more to soul mates than hormones and attraction. Finding your soul mate gave you balance and made you a better soul. So the question was whether I was a better soul with someone exactly like me, or with someone whose strengths were my weaknesses and vice versa.
“I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just giving you my opinion.”
Another difference between Alex and Emil. Where Alex pushed, pulled, and shoved to get his way and his point across, Emil calmly told me his perspective and let me decide for myself. It was refreshing, but at the same time, I wondered if it was almost too nice. I couldn’t help but think about Alex’s rationale that Emil couldn’t go toe-to-toe with me. I have a strong personality. Would Emil be able to hold his own against me, or would I steamroll him all the time? He held his own around Alex, so he’d probably do the same with me if it was something he felt strongly enough about. “I appreciate that,” I answered. I made a mental note to write down Emil’s thoughts and the information about my past life with Alex in my journal.
Emil leaned back against a kitchen chair. “Do you want to tell me why I was the target of your wrath tonight?”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t wrath,” I explained. “We decided to have a girls’ night to help me get my mind off everything that’s going on and we had too much sugar. That’s when we came up with the idea to toilet paper your yard.”
“Hmm. And why are there plastic forks all over my porch?”
“We were going to stick them in your yard so it looked like you had little fork headstones all over, but the snow was too frozen and wouldn’t hold them up. Jasmine thought it would be funny to leave them on your porch instead.”
Emil’s mouth hitched. “Well, at least I won’t have to buy forks the next time I have a barbeque.”
“You do that a lot, huh? Daevos barbeques? What’s on the menu, people’s souls?” The remark came across more cutting than I’d meant it to.
He looked at me like I should know better. We sat silent for a minute. “What things were you trying to get your mind off of?” he asked.
I narrowed my eyes at him like he was extraordinarily dense. I knew he was completely aware of what I was trying to get off my mind.
He smiled, long and slow. “I didn’t realize I affected you that much.”
I played with a thread on my sweater to avoid looking at him. “You, Alex, and Tate gave me a lot to think about.”
His eyes darkened. “I could give you more.”
I had no doubt about that. “It would complicate things further.”
“You wouldn’t regret it.”
I shook my head slightly. “We need to take this one step at a time.”
“Whatever you need,” Emil said. “Did you reach any conclusions about me while you were on your sugar high and trying not to think?”
“I think…I’m still thinking.”
“How long do you think you’ll be thinking?”
I shrugged, finished my hot chocolate, and put the mug on the table. Emil got up to put it in the sink. When he came back he leaned against the wall, folding his arms across his chest, watching me. “What’s on your mind?” I asked.
“You don’t want to know.”
He was probably right.
He moved away from the wall. “Come on, we need to get you home. I’ll text Alex and tell him I’ll stay with you tonight.” He grabbed our jackets from the closet, and took his keys off the TV stand. I drove my Mustang and Emil followed me home in his black-as-pitch BMW, which I’d nicknamed Satan since it looked like a car the devil would drive.
Emil walked me up the front steps and followed me inside. I flipped on the living room light, pulled my coat off, hung it on the coat rack, and put my keys on the table. It had been a fun night, but I was ready to crash. I moved toward the stairs. Emil watched me. “You will let me know when you figure out what you want, right?”
I stopped and nodded. He sliced his head down once in a quick motion, and started for the couch, but he paused and turned around. He came back to me, grabbed me by my shoulders, pulled me to him and kissed me hard. When he let me go, I was out of breath. “Just something to help you think,” he said. I managed to eek out a “good night.” He watched me with a scorching gaze until I forced my eyes from his, and stumbled up the stairs.
Emil’s urgent kiss haunted me while I washed my face and brushed my teeth. As I climbed into bed, my phone blinked telling me I had a text message.
“I thought hiding behind the three foot tall, leafless rose bush was exceptionally sneaky.”
I could text him back, but knew he was probably watching me through his ring so instead I answered out loud. “Don’t mock me. I’m not in the mood.” I’d forgotten about the downer effect when a sugar rush wears off.
“I’m glad you decided to take it out on him instead of me.”
“You’re next. Were you watching us the whole time?”
“I watched the destruction, but tuned out when you went in the house with Emil.”
That surprised me.
Alex usually likes to know everything that’s going on. It was unlike him not to take an opportunity to spy. Maybe he didn’t want to see me with Emil though.
“You seem to be more interested in him all the time. Choosing Emil would be a bad idea.”
“Why? What’s so wrong about having a relationship with him? I’ve done it before, once that I actually remember, and it was good. I don’t recall what, if anything, I had with you.”
There was a long pause before the next text. “He’s a loose cannon, Evie. While he’s helped us the last few months, I still don’t completely trust him. I never know what to expect from him. He is dangerous. And you could do a lot better. With me.”
I didn’t respond. I was annoyed Alex was still questioning Emil after everything he’d done to help keep me safe. Emil wasn’t a traitor. He’d protected me for as long as Alex had, and loved me that long too.
“Think about what a life with Emil would mean.”
I folded my arms across my chest in stubborn defiance. “I have.”
“Really? Everything? You’ve completely thought this through?”
Well, I thought I had.
“Like the fact that he has to continue being a Daevos member and if you decide to stay with him, you’ll have to choose that life again?”
My mouth dropped open. “But he could leave, like I did. He doesn’t have to be part of that life anymore.”
“Unlike you, he’s an actual Daevos member. If he leaves, time will catch up with him and he’ll be dead within a few years—if his Clan doesn’t kill him, and you, first.”
It felt like every time I figured something out, another problem would come up. Why couldn’t I be in love with normal, non-supernatural guys? I shrugged, not wanting to think about it. “If it’s right, everything will work out.”
There was silence between us for about five minutes, then another text message.
“I checked in on you again when you got home. I’d like to kill him for kissing you.”
“You wouldn’t do that.”
“Don’t underestimate me.”
I was pretty sure Alex would never hurt Emil, but I didn’t want to get into an argument about it tonight. I needed sleep, and the clarity that sometimes came after I woke up. “I’m going to bed now, Alex. Don’t kill anyone tonight.”
He didn’t respond.
The next morning, a shiny, red envelope was taped to my bedroom door. I shuffled over to it, still tired from sleep. My name was written across the front of the envelope in Alex’s familiar, sharp-angled handwriting. I opened it to find a black matte card with metallic silver and red hearts on the front. The inside read:
Happy Valentine’s Day, Evie. I’m picking you up at noon. Wear something warm. Love, Alex.
Valentine’s Day. I’d completely forgotten the holiday. Now that I thought about it, there had been heart-shaped balloons and decorations around campus. The card was sweet, and a date with Alex would be a welcome reprieve from everything else going on. Even though he could be a jerk sometimes, Alex still did some nice things for me occasionally—and sometimes yelling or glaring wasn’t even involved.
I grabbed my robe from the door and went into the bathroom to get ready.
When I got downstairs, a huge vase of beautiful pink orchids was sitting on the table next to a large vase of stunning sterling roses. I looked from one vase to the other; tangible representations of the men in my life. I took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet perfume, and shook my head trying not to think about whether I liked orchids or roses more. I noticed a box next to the flowers and picked it up: my mom’s care package. I opened it and found her special Valentine’s cookie assortment: chocolate chip, peanut butter, and sugar cookie. She’d sent four heart-shaped tins. One for me, Jas, Alex, and Emil. Her note said she thought she better cover all the bases. Smart mom. Even she knew I couldn’t choose between them.
Alex hadn’t been kidding about picking me up at noon. He’s annoyingly punctual. I imagined it had something to do with his need to control things. We were in his dark blue H3 Hummer—the vehicle he preferred during the winter because of its excellent four-wheel drive, a fact he pointed out to me on multiple occasions.
He’d been very secretive about giving me any location details, but we’d been driving for over an hour when we finally turned onto a dirt road. The pot holes were enough to make me thankful for the Hummer’s shocks. My Mustang wouldn’t have handled this road well.
We were on the snow covered dirt road for at least another fifteen minutes before we turned onto a long, gravel driveway. At the end of the driveway I saw a rustic, well-preserved rambler-style home with brown wood siding, red trim, and two large windows facing the driveway. The front door was a cheery red that matched the window trim. One of the house windows was open slightly. I could smell sweet honey, sugar, and butter. I saw a woman walk past the window. The smell immediately took my mind to my house growing up and all the time my mom spent in the kitchen making bread, cinnamon rolls, cookies and every other treat under the sun. It made me nostalgic. I couldn’t help but think of how much I loved the smell of an active kitchen with family, and yummy baked treats.
Beyond the house stood a large white barn. I could see the hayloft from the car and I wondered what kind of animals would require a hayloft of that magnitude. I found out less than a minute later.
Alex parked, and opened the Hummer door for me. I followed him into the barn, which was surprisingly warm. We were met by an older man in a long-sleeved red and white checkered flannel shirt, and heavy coat. He was moving hay with a pitchfork.
Alex greeted him, “Hello, Mr. Fisk.”
“Alex,” the man put his hand out. Alex met it with a solid shake. “It’s good to see you again.”
Alex nodded, smiling. “It’s good to be here.” He gestured to me. “This is Evie.”
The man flashed a big smile. “So you’re the girl he can’t stop talking about.”
It was a statement, but I answered anyway. “I hope so. And I hope he’s been saying nice things.”
“Nice doesn’t even cover it,” Farmer Fisk said. “The man’s completely smitten with you!”
I laughed, thinking the word “smitten” conveyed an emotion that had far more estrogen in it than Alex was capable of feeling.
“Are they ready?” Alex asked Farmer Fisk.
They? I raised my brows and shot Alex a wary look.
“Sure are!” he answered. “Follow me.”
Alex took my hand as we walked side-by-side to a row of stalls at the end of the massive barn. When we got there, I was greeted by something I should have been prepared for, but absolutely wasn’t.
A horse. Judging by the weird noises coming from its nose and the eyes that seemed to follow me everywhere like one of those creepy paintings, it seemed this one had taken a particular interest in me.
I stared at the horse, black as a moonless night, and eyes to match. Okay, technically its eyes were brown, but the horse looked like the devil, and the devil has evil eyes. It was large. Very, very large.
“They’re saddled and you can take them whenever you’re ready,” Farmer Fisk said.
He pointed out the other horse before giving us a few more general instructions about where to ride and what to do when we got back to the barn after our adventure was over, and then ambled out of the barn. He was probably going in the house to get some yummy food. I almost followed him. I’d much rather be inside than facing a thousand pound beast.
“I like my transportation to come with a motor, not a heartbeat, Alex.”
He laughed loudly.
I was not amused.
“You ride four wheelers all the time,” he said, checking the saddle and leading the devil horse out of the stall.
I backed up a bit, eying the horse warily. She seemed to be looking at me the exact same way. “Machines only gallop when I tell them to. This,” I said, waving my hand in the general direction of the horse, “has a mind of its own.”
T
he horse huffed as if it understood me. I’d say that was impossible, but there wasn’t much I believed was actually impossible anymore. I kept staring. I couldn’t get over the sheer size of the horse. It made me nervous. “I’m pretty sure this horse belongs to a Ringwraith. They wouldn’t want me riding their horse. It would be a really bad idea to piss those guys off.”
Alex laughed softly, shaking his head. “Give it a chance, Evie. She’s a gentle, beautiful horse.”
I eyed Alex, and the horse, suspiciously.
“You know,” Alex said, “you used to love riding.”
I snorted. Clearly my Cassandra incarnation was loony. I was sure the explanation was that cars hadn’t been invented yet, so I’d made do with what I had. And I’d bet I took the carriage route over being jostled on a horse’s back any day.
“Come on,” he said, holding out his hand. “I’ll help you up.”
I wrinkled my nose distastefully and Alex smiled. When I didn’t move, he came over, dragging me to the horse.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m sure it will come back to you like riding a bike.”
“Yet another mode of transportation that doesn’t have a brain. We should go bike riding instead.”
“Maybe next time,” Alex answered. “When there’s not snow on the ground.”
“I might not survive this time.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
I wrinkled my nose again. He knew how much I hated drama, which is why he said it. When I’m antagonized, it makes me more determined. He knew I wouldn’t back down from his challenge, even if it was something I didn’t want to do.
I put my foot in the stirrup and Alex held my waist as I swung up, balancing myself, and lifted my leg until I was straddling the animal. Surprised my momentum hadn’t catapulted me completely over the horse, I pushed my chest out a little, proud I’d successfully mounted the beast. I settled in the saddle, holding on and trying not to look down. It was only about five feet to the ground, but it might as well have been five hundred.
Eternal Echoes, Emblem of Eternity Trilogy Book 2 Page 21