Ryder moved towards him, pulling him away by the arm so that it was just the two of them.
“Take a few deep breaths. Calm it down. I can tell by the look on your face that you're raring to hit something.”
“I have been taking deep breaths and it isn't helping,” he said, taking more breaths through his nose. “I just want to erase this night so Gabrielle doesn't have to go through this heartache.”
“Why don't we put our heads together and figure out where to go from here.” Ryder nodded to where Gabrielle was sitting on the curb. “As of this very moment, Gabrielle is homeless. She's going to need you to be strong, not angry.”
Remy nodded in agreement. Ryder was right. Giving in to anger wasn't going to solve anything. It might only serve to make Gabrielle feel worse about the whole situation. He needed to act instead of react. “You're right. This is way too monumental for Gabrielle to shoulder alone. She's going to need a village.”
Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his cell phone and hit one of his frequently dialed numbers. After three rings his mother answered.
“Mom. It's Remy. We need to mobilize. Quickly. There's been a fire at Gabrielle's apartment. It's pretty much a tear down at the moment. She's lost everything.” Just saying those words caused him to choke up. Losing everything. He'd been in the same position after he'd lost his parents. He knew what it felt like to feel hopeless and alone and scared. More than anything in this world, he wanted to show Gabrielle that she wasn't any of those things. Not when he was in her world ready and able to shoulder her through the worst of it.
“Remy.” His mother's voice crackled over the phone. “We have plenty of room at the house. We'd love to have Gabrielle stay here for as long as she wants. Please bring her right over. I'll make sure to have some hot tea and lemon cookies ready for her.”
He felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as his mother said the very words he'd been hoping would come out of her mouth. “Mom, I—” Caught in the grip of a torrent of emotion, he found himself too wound up to speak. It was rare that he wasn't able to get across his feelings.
“I know, my sweet boy. I love you too. We'll be waiting for you.”
As he hung up the phone a feeling of peace moved through him. He knew it wouldn't solve all of Gabrielle's problems, but at least for the foreseeable future she would have a place to rest her head at night. And for that, he was very thankful.
*
Why was this happening to her again? Just when she was beginning to feel settled here, the rug was being pulled out from underneath her. Why did tragedy and mayhem follow her around like a stray cat? Why had God turned his back on her? Again. She didn't want to be afraid. And she was so tired of feeling broken.
Homeless. Dispossessed. Empty. Lost.
She had nothing. All of her possessions had just gone up in smoke. Once again, God had shown her she wasn't worthy of happiness. She wasn't one of his favorite children. All she had was her purse and its contents.
Just standing there and watching her building go up in flames was enough to make her want to curl up in a little ball on the pavement. It was all becoming too much for her to bear. Where would she go? What would she do? Even her Sweet Treats work apron had been destroyed in the fire. She'd loved that apron and the feeling of accomplishment she felt every time she'd placed it around her waist. It was a symbol of how far she'd come in the last few years. Now she had nothing. Absolutely nothing!
She watched from a distance as Remy talked with a few of the firemen. They seemed to know each other fairly well since they were allowing him into an area reserved for rescue personnel. His brother Ryder was standing there with him, no doubt arriving on the scene to provide medical care to anyone injured in the fire.
She hadn't been injured in the fire, but her soul felt as if it were being ripped out of her chest.
“Gabi, are you okay?” The soothing female voice washed over her like a light rain.
It was Tess Dailey, Ryder's fiancee and paramedic partner. She was looking at her with a mixture of interest and concern. Her green eyes flared with compassion.
“I-I wasn't injured,” she said. “I'm fine.”
“Why don't you come with me to the ambulance,” Tess suggested. “I think you should be looked over. You seem a little dazed.”
“No,” she said with a vehement shake of her head. “There are people here who might have been inside at the time of the fire. Please see to them first,” she begged. “I'm waiting for Remy. I'll just sit here until he finishes up.”
Tess turned and looked in the direction she was pointing. Remy and Ryder were still engrossed in their conversation with the firemen. Tess swiveled around so she was facing her again. She nodded at Gabrielle. “Once Remy finishes up I want you to come over to the back of the ambulance and get checked out. Promise?”
“Promise,” she murmured, feeling badly about telling Tess an untruth. She had no intention of getting checked out. And she wasn't going to stick around so she could fill out forms or be grilled about the fire. With a quick dart in Remy's direction, she got up from the curb and began walking down the street at a fast clip. The blanket fell to the ground, discarded. She knew if he saw her walk away, Remy would follow her in an attempt to take her under his wing. As wonderful as he was, she needed and wanted to be alone right now. The tight sensation building in her head had her wondering if she was going to explode. Remembering the short cut, she walked down Sea Crest then straight towards the beach. It was no more than a ten minute walk from here.
Everything in her life had just gone up in an inferno. She clutched her purse to her side, knowing it was all she had in the world. Her mind was whirling in a hundred different directions. Where would she go? With no place to live and a limited amount of money, no clothes and no food....what would become of her? You still have your job at Sweet Treats. A little voice whispered in her ear. You still have Remy.
But, like most things in her life, she couldn't count on either of those things to be permanent. If there was one thing she'd learned to count on it was disruption and mayhem. Just when life seemed as sweet as a garden full of roses, fate stepped in and taught her a lesson.
As the cool night air ripped through her lightweight sweater and the wind whipped her hair around her face, Gabrielle dug her toes into the sand. The pungent smell of the ocean filled her nostrils. She drew in the briny scent, wanting it to replace the bitter smell of fire and smoke. Sitting here at her favorite spot in Breeze Point did nothing to dull the pain coursing through her. She was exhausted. Once again, it felt as if everything was caving in around her. Everything she'd taken pains to build for herself in Breeze Point had gone up in smoke. She couldn't seem to breathe properly at the moment. There was a tight feeling in her chest that made her feel as if she was dying. Everyone had a breaking point, didn't they? Was this hers?
“I've been looking for you everywhere.” Remy's voice carried over the pounding sound of the surf. “You shouldn't be on these rocks alone at night. What if you fell and hit your head or stumbled off this cliff? Nobody would know you were here.” Within seconds he was beside her, sitting next to her on the sand, his arm resting against her own. She didn't look at him. She had a feeling she would see pity in his eyes and she couldn't bear it. Her goal was to be a strong, accomplished woman in his eyes. At this moment he would see nothing but fear and ruin and desolation.
“Gabrielle, why did you run off like that? When I couldn't find you—”
The strangled sound of his voice had her turning towards him. His features were drawn tight, his eyes were wide as a muscle twitched by his jaw. “It was awful not knowing where you were or if I would be able to find you.”
“I'm sorry. I just couldn't be there a moment longer. I felt like I was jumping out of my skin.”
She fought past a feeling of breathlessness, knowing she owed Remy an explanation. “I'm so tired,” she said in a flat voice. “So tired of losing everything and moving from place to place. I don't wa
nt to cry anymore. I'm all out of tears. I'm so tired of bottling up everything from the past inside me...I just feel like I'm either going to explode or go crazy.” She pounded her fist in the sand. “I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through this again! I've already had the bottom fall out of my world once before. I can't handle it again.”
She felt Remy's hand on her shoulder. “You were there, weren't you? During Hurricane Katrina? That's it, right? The thing that happened to you. The thing you can't speak about. Isn't it?”
“Yes,” she said dully. After losing everything tonight in the fire, she didn't have the strength to hold back her past. One loss was bleeding right into the next, so that everything was jumbled in her mind. “We were living there when the hurricane struck. My family—my parents, my brother, Tony. Everyone. Three generations of the Boudreaux and Turner families. When the evacuation orders came things became very real. And utterly frightening. My father wanted to ride it out. He owned a barber shop not too far from Bourbon Street. He was worried about his business and our house. Things got bad really quickly.” She shuddered, her small frame heaving with the effort. “The reports kept saying we might get a direct hit. They kept saying how most of New Orleans was under sea level, which meant the flooding might be massive. I was so frightened, Remy. I begged my parents to leave.”
“Of course you did,” Remy said. “You were a teenager. It must have been terrifying.”
“It was like something out of a disaster movie. Everybody was scrambling to get out, like rats deserting a sinking ship. My grandparents on my father's side were born and raised in New Orleans. They'd seen storms over the years, dozens of 'em in fact. They wouldn't leave, said they were staying. My father...he wanted to go and make them leave. I was hysterical because I wanted to get out. I saw all the news stories and I was terrified.” She shivered as the cold wind kicked up. She felt Remy's arm around her shoulders and she burrowed into him, immediately absorbing his warmth. “My uncle Bo...he told my father to take us and get out of New Orleans. He said he was going to my grandparents' house to get them to safety.”
Gabrielle swallowed past the bile rising up in her throat. How could she put into words the horrors that had taken place? The terror? The madness swirling around all of New Orleans?
“We got out...you can't imagine all the panic and mayhem. The interstate was packed with cars...and we sat there for hours until we finally made it away from the Gulf Coast. Daddy talked to Uncle Bo on his cell phone until his battery died. Uncle Bo told him that it was too late to get out....they were just going to ride it out. Days went by and we heard nothing other than frightening news reports. I don't know if you remember how it was at that time. So many people were trapped in their homes. Houses were lost. People were floating on inner tubes around the city. Dead bodies were everywhere. There was no electricity, no ability to connect with loved ones. It was like the storm chewed up the people of New Orleans and spit them out.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, desperate to stop her limbs from trembling.
“And your grandparents. Your uncle?”
Remy tightened his grip around her, as if he knew her story wasn't going to have a happy ending. “It was weeks before we were able to make it back to New Orleans. We'd been calling with no answer. We contacted the Red Cross. We had friends who we asked to check in on them. Everything was madness. Some friends reassured us that they'd made it to a shelter. But, days after the storm was over we still hadn't heard from them. So Daddy finally decided we had go back...to find them and to see about our house and his barbershop business. The very first thing we did was go to my grandparents' house.” Tears were streaming out of her eyes, but she didn't wipe them away. What was the point? There would only be more to follow. Even if she cried a river of tears, it wouldn't change anything.
“When we got to the house, the first thing we saw was a red X by the door of the demolished house. And the number 3 below it. We knew what that meant. The search and rescue teams did that to show that the house had been searched. And the number...showed the number of deceased in the house.” She began to shake as the horrific memories washed over her. Remy pulled her closer into the crook of his arm. He kissed the side of her face, murmuring reassurances as she continued to speak.
“The house itself was like something out of a nightmare. It looked like a bomb had hit it. That beautiful Victorian house where I took my first steps as a baby—” Her voice broke and she found herself sobbing. “I-It was broken...shredded by the storm.”
“My father broke down...he was on his knees. He kept saying the same thing over and over again. We shouldn't have left. We shouldn't have left. They drowned in that house. They drowned.”
Remy was cradling her now, smoothing back her hair and whispering tender words to her. Words of comfort and support. Words she would hold in her heart until her dying day. It felt as if his tenderness was being wrapped around her heart. Not just for a moment, but for all time.
“And to this day I still feel that guilt....it was because of me that my family evacuated. I was so afraid...I wanted to leave before the storm hit. I kept saying it over and over again.”
“Your parents made a decision to keep you and your brother safe from harm. If they'd stayed, it's doubtful you would have survived the storm in your grandparents' house.”
Even though she knew Remy's point of view was valid, she still felt a sense of responsibility for what had happened. There was still that trickle of doubt she couldn't erase. “But maybe we could have convinced them to leave. Maybe they'd still be here today if we'd stayed with them.”
“You said your father tried that. It didn't work. And your uncle gave his life trying to rescue his parents.” Remy shook his head. “It doesn't change what happened, but there's something very noble about what he did. How he lived. That type of love lives on in you and your parents and your brother.”
She stood up and looked out into the darkness. The ocean lay in the distance, obscured by darkness. “Love didn't hold my family together. It tore us apart. It took whatever faith we had and ground it into dust.”
“Love didn't do that, Gabrielle. It was grief and loss. And living through something horrific created ripples throughout all your lives.”
“And that's the price we pay for loving too hard.” She could hear the bitterness laced in her tone. At the moment it was all she had.
Remy moved towards her, easily filling the gap between them. “Love is a gift. Some say it asks nothing in return. When we survive trauma while others die, there's something that happens to us sometimes. It's called survivor's guilt. I had it as a child after my parents died. I kept asking myself why I had lived when they hadn't. And I felt terrible about it. When I went to live with my adoptive family I began to work through those issues. In the end, I realized that I was going to have to live for them too, since their lives had been cut short. I promised myself I would live up to their legacy of love and kindness.”
“I haven't done that,” she said, her head bowed. She'd done nothing but exist in some netherworld of pain and regret. All these years later and she was still limping along, surviving, but far from whole.
“Gabrielle, we need to get you a warm place to sleep and some clothes.”
“If you could help me find a shelter, I'd be grateful.”
Remy's eyes went wide. “A shelter? I'm not taking you to a shelter, Gabrielle. We're going to my parents' house. They're expecting us.”
Stunned, she examined his expression. Even though she knew he wasn't a person to toy with her emotions, she had to check his face just to make sure. He nodded his head with certainty, his eyes asking for her to trust him. Gabrielle wanted to weep with gratitude. She'd never in a million years expected this. Although Maggie and Alec were her employers, they didn't have to take her in to their home. It was an act of such unbelievable kindness.
“Remy. Are you sure? That goes well above and beyond their duty as my employer.”
He reached down and grazed his knuckles ag
ainst her cheek. “I'm positive. Truly. Absolutely. Without a doubt. They're happy to have you. They wouldn't have it any other way.”
She let out the breath she'd been holding ever since she'd seen her life go up in flames. Blessings came when you least expected them. Even in the darkness there was light.
Remy extended his hand to her. She placed her hand in his and let him pull her towards him so that they were within inches of one another. She looked up at him, admiring the strong tilt of his jaw and his quiet strength. He reached down and placed his lips over hers, his kiss both tender and reassuring. Kissing Remy was like being in a whirlpool. She felt herself being pulled deeper and deeper into a raging storm. As the kiss deepened and soared to greater heights she began to wish they could stay like this forever. For now there was no fear, no thoughts of her wrecked life. She leaned in to him, craving the security she always felt whenever she was in his presence. As the kiss ended he whispered her name, making it sound like a caress.
It made her feel safe and grounded to be in Remy's embrace. Everything might be crashing and burning around her, but she still had Remy holding her up.
He ran his finger down the side of her face. “Sorry for my bad timing. I've been wanting to do that for the longest time.”
“Your timing was perfect. Something wonderful had to come from this evening. Now at least I can remember this instead of just picturing ash and flames.”
“I know things look bleak, but trust me, Gabrielle. Everything is going to be alright.”
She nodded her head, following after Remy as he tugged her along the sandy path and away from the bluff. She prayed Remy was right. For the first time in a long time she was acting solely on faith, even though she'd parted ways with her faith a long time ago.
*
By the time they made it to the Donahue home, there were about half a dozen cars parked outside the house. Even though it was almost eleven o'clock, their home was lit up like a candle. As Remy walked Gabrielle down the brick walkway he muttered, “Prepare yourself for the onslaught.”
Until You Loved Me (Seven Brides, Seven Brothers Book 3) Page 9