by London Casey
“What do you mean?”
“I have to go for a ride. Alone.”
“What?”
“Honey, Andy had been looking into me. Into you. Drawing connections on his own. He had Seth’s name written down. And he had Emily’s name written down.”
“Oh.”
“I have to make sure she’s okay. And if she is, warn her. Tell her to get the hell out of wherever she is.”
“How do you know where…”
Penny didn’t finish the question.
Some old habits died really hard.
I knew where Emily lived. I knew she was married. It was none of my business to know any of it, but until I met Penny, Emily had been the only woman I ever loved.
“Nothing is going to happen,” I whispered. I reached for Penny’s hand. “Understand me?”
“Why would I think that? Why would I care?”
“Because of how we feel,” I said.
I left it at that until we got back to my place. I checked to make sure the place was empty and made sure Penny had her gun.
“Same as before,” I said. “Do not answer the door.”
She nodded. “Please be careful.”
“There’s a cell phone in my nightstand. An emergency phone. If I’m not back by tomorrow then you need to call that number and explain everything.”
“Where does it go?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Marcos gave it to me. Trust me, you’re not going to have to make that call.”
“Noah… I can’t lose you. I…”
I hugged her tight. “You’re not going to lose me, Penny. I have to make sure Emily is okay. Then I’m going to win this fight and force Nathan to help us. I promise.”
I looked down at her. She looked ready to cry.
“I think I’m in love with you, Noah,” she said.
A tear formed in the corner of her right eye. I hurried to put my thumb there, not wanting to see her cry as she confessed her love to me.
“Ah, Penny, honey,” I whispered. She wants you to say it, Noah. She wants to feel it from you. I wasn’t used to a sense of responsibility that included someone else’s feelings. I lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her. “Me too. I’m in love with you, Penny.”
I slipped away and left the apartment.
I waited until she locked the door.
I slipped my hands in my pockets. I had a gun in my back pocket. Taking a deep breath, I had to go step back in time.
I had to face the woman who broke my heart and was the reason why my future looked fucked.
Chapter 35
(Penny)
I wasn’t going to be able to relax. I was human. That meant it bothered me he was going to visit an old flame. Not just an old flame, but an old fire. An inferno. A five alarm fire. The woman he loved and the woman he had killed for. Literally killed for. He and Seth were dragged through hell because of her. Because of her, Erik wanted Noah dead. Because of her…
I sat on the bed.
Because of her, Andy was dead.
“Oh, Andy,” I whispered.
He had been the guy who took a chance on me. I was just a young woman with a bag full of notebooks. I had ideas for novels, stories, poetry. Just dumb stuff. But I wanted to write. Andy appreciated that and took me on to basically take anything he didn’t want. My first job was to hang out behind a restaurant and find out where they got their food. Someone wanted to know and it was going to be a huge piece.
I had to climb through a dumpster to find a box that proved the food wasn’t exactly as fresh as promised. Not to mention they were buying expired food at a discount and they felt as long as they gave it an extra flip on the grill, it was fine to serve.
When I got my information and climbed out of the dumpster, I was faced by two men in suits. They spoke broken English and pulled a knife on me. One held me against the building and the other threatened to cut out my eyes and cut off my tongue.
They were going to do it, too.
I saved myself by kicking the guy in his balls. Then I screamed as loud as I could and the other guy let me go. The morons didn’t realize there were security cameras on the adjacent building that filmed the whole thing. Yeah, it looked shitty for me to be snooping around their dumpster, so Andy made a little bit of a deal with them.
That part I wasn’t involved in.
That was my first story with Andy. And now he was dead and I was sitting alone in an apartment waiting for the next slice of hell to make itself known.
At that point, I couldn’t even cry. I looked forward and thought about Noah. We were falling for each other. Bad. I knew it started the second we looked at each other after that first fight. I knew his name, he didn’t know mine. I was only supposed to ask him some questions about fighting. When I saw him standing there, dripping in sweat, blood on his face, that intense look in his eyes, I melted. I melted everywhere for him. I couldn't resist and I’d never regret that.
Even if it cost me my life.
I couldn’t just sit and wait either.
I went to the kitchen and started to dig through drawers until I found some paper and a pen.
There was always one thing that could calm me. Even if it meant nothing. I hadn’t done it in a long time. Not since finding out it was all bullshit.
I put the pen to the paper.
I addressed it to Heaven, like I used to do.
And I wrote a letter to my mother…
Chapter 36
(Noah)
I didn’t like myself for knowing where Emily lived. She never left my mind even if she left my heart. Something about her just stuck with me. Maybe I always believed that if I got rich enough I could swing back into her life and save her again.
As I sat outside the two story colonial house with a red door and a white picket fence, I knew there was no chance of ever going back into Emily’s life. There was a two car garage, one door open with a car inside. A basketball hoop was attached to the top of the garage.
I sighed, realizing she had gotten everything she ever wanted in life.
When I rang the doorbell and Emily opened the door, her pretty blue eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. Slowly, she covered her mouth, blinked fast, and she started to shake.
She was the same Emily just in nicer clothes. She was always short, naturally beautiful and skinny. Time aged her a little, but in a graceful way. She looked mature. Her eyes had experience pouring from them. Not to mention the giant diamond on her left hand, resting comfortably against a wedding band.
“Hey,” I said.
“Noah…”
“This is going to sound crazy,” I said. “But I needed to check on you. Something’s wrong. Very wrong, Em. We need to talk.”
“I’m…” She shut her eyes and opened them again. “Are you really here?”
“I’m really here.”
“Are you sure I didn’t fall down the steps and hit my head? That I’m passed out on the floor having this dream?”
I reached out and touched her shoulder. “I’m here. We really need to talk. Privately. Is your… husband… home?”
“No. He’s at work.”
“Kids?”
Emily grinned. “Are you trying to figure out who I am?”
“No, Em. Seth is dead. And Aiden’s brother is after me. He’s attacking and killing everyone I know.”
Just like that, Emily’s face dropped. All the fear from years ago rushed back. All the beauty and look of today reversed back in time. She was the scared young woman desperate for me and Seth to hurt Aiden for what he had done.
Staring at Emily… I’d do it all over again for her.
“Come in,” she said. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”
“Neither can I,” I said.
Emily sat at the kitchen table with a coffee mug. It had pictures on it of her husband and kids. There was Happy Mother’s Day written on it with some of the writing chipped away. The entire house looked like it came from a catalogue.
“I’m really sorry,” I said. “I just needed to know you were okay. Erik killed someone who had notes about us. I don’t know why the guy had notes about us. The second I saw your name I needed to make sure you were okay. I hate to do this, but you really should consider going somewhere.”
“With you?” Emily asked.
“No, Em. With your family. Take a vacation or something. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you again.”
Emily let out a breath and shook her head. “It’s…” She lowered her head and started to sob.
“Hey. You’re going to be okay. I don’t think Erik would come here though. He wants me.”
“He killed Seth?” Emily asked.
“No. That’s a whole other story.” I pulled out a chair and sat down. “Seth isn’t who I thought he was. I’m still trying to process it myself.”
Emily wrapped her hands around the coffee mug. “Noah, I have to tell you something. But you can’t kill me.”
“Why would I kill you?”
“I grew up like you did. You’re carrying a gun in your back pocket. That’s why you’re half sitting in the chair. You asked if my family is home. They’re not. Mark is at work. Mikey is at school. He’ll be home soon. My oldest, Lizzie, goes from school to field hockey practice. She gets home around five, in time for dinner. Mikey is the first to get home. He doesn’t need to find me…”
I put a hand to Emily’s wrist. “I swear to you, I’m not here to kill you. I’m trying to help you. Now what do you have to tell me?”
Emily wouldn’t look at me.
And as though I had one more sliver of heart to be cut by her, she said, “Aiden never… he never forced himself on me. Me and Seth set it up.”
I stood up and walked away from the table.
The kitchen was dead silent except for the ticking of a clock hanging above the kitchen sink. I looked out the window to the backyard. There was a big wooden swing set in need of a little TLC. A hockey net was in the corner of the yard. The white picket fence ran the length of the yard with a small flower garden along the back.
“Seth was paid to kill Aiden,” Emily said. “He offered to give me some money if I helped him. It was crazy and dangerous. I was stupid, Noah.”
“So what did you do?”
“I flirted with Aiden. I kind of sucked him in.”
“Christ.”
“Yeah. He got touchy-feely with me and it freaked me out. I thought I was going to have to sleep with him or something. When I panicked, he did too. I didn’t realize who his brother was or would become. I didn’t know what to say to you. I thought if I said I was touched or whatever you’d back away from me. You wanted me so bad, Noah. Part of me always wanted you, but I didn’t want your life. The fighting. All the worry. So in my mind, I thought you’d back off. Seth would kill Aiden and get his money. Then I could just slip away. I never loved Seth.”
“Good to know,” I said. I turned and looked at Emily. She was crying. “Erik wants revenge. I’m trying to find a way to stop him.”
“I never asked for any of it,” Emily said. “I was just trying to survive. You and me… Noah…” She stood up and wiped her eyes. “If I let myself fall for you it would have been bad.”
“I’m not here to pretend what could have been.”
Emily nodded. “Seth told me he’d give me money and I’d be able to leave. He knew what I wanted. We pretended to be together.”
“The night I caught you in the back of the car?”
Emily swallowed hard. “We were drunk. It was one time.”
“Then it was all bullshit?”
“Yes.”
“But you got away anyway.”
“After the murder, yeah. Seth gave me some money. I got a bus ticket and left. I went up to Oregon. Tried to settle but couldn’t. So I came back down this way and thought about getting in touch with you. Then I met Mark. The rest is history.”
“History,” I said. “Right. Well, you need to protect yourself and your family or else all of this will be history. Erik is out of his fucking mind.”
“And nobody cares? Nobody is stopping him?”
“He’s using his power and badge, Em.” I looked around again. I had seen and heard enough. “I have to go. You’re safe. I gave you a warning. There’s nothing else here.”
I started to walk and she grabbed my arm. She pulled at me, digging her nails into my arm. I turned around, regretting it as she got way too close to me. She was still as beautiful as I remembered her. Those old feelings were still hot embers. But I’d never let them breathe to life again.
“I’m sorry, Noah. For everything. I wanted to love you. But I have this life now.”
“Are you happy?”
“Sometimes.”
“Okay. I’m giving you warning about Erik. You need to be careful. There’s only so much I could do.”
“What do you do, Noah? For a living?”
“Look at my face, Em. What do you think I do? I fight. It’s the only thing I’ve ever known.”
She nodded. “Mark owns a security company. He can get any information about anyone. I tried a few times to look you up without him knowing. But I don’t understand the software. He doesn’t know much about my past, but I’m going to call him about Erik. Find out everything I can. Okay? I’ll do that for you. I’ll try to make it up to you.”
“Don’t put yourself in danger, Em.”
“I’m in danger already. Can I have your number to call you?”
“Sure.”
I gave Emily my cell number and then had to get out of there.
As I walked down the steps from the long front porch, a young kid walked to the gate and opened it. He looked at me and I knew it was Emily’s son. His eyes were the same as his mother’s. He was skinny, with a t-shirt that was too damn long. He also had a nice shiner on his left eye. The neck of his t-shirt was stretched out.
“What the hell happened to you, kid?” I asked.
“Who are you?”
“Cable guy.”
He looked afraid. “Nothing happened.”
“Looks like someone knocked you on your ass. Someone bothering you?”
“I have to go.”
He moved by me.
“Hey,” I said. “Protect your face, kid. Fists up. Don’t be afraid of anything in life. Especially a bully. They’re the ones who are afraid. Got it?”
“Yeah, whatever,” he said. He then pointed to roof and said, “We have satellite, by the way.”
I smiled. “That’s why I didn’t make the sale.”
I hurried to my car and drove away.
In my mind all I could see was Emily dead. And that kid, Mikey, on the kitchen floor with a bullet hole in his head, still wearing the same stretched out t-shirt.
“Fucking bullies,” I whispered.
That’s what Erik was. A bully.
And I was going to kill him.
Chapter 37
(Penny)
I had dropped all the pieces of the letter into the trash as though it was falling snow. That was the end of the letter.
Noah came back a couple hours later, unscathed but really annoyed. He took me to bed and held me the entire night. We didn’t talk. We didn’t fuck. We were just together. The silence was intense, but I slept so soundly.
When I woke up I found Noah shirtless, cooking me breakfast. That was a sight I could wake to everyday for the rest of my life.
Noah poured me some coffee and served me food.
“Why are you spoiling me?” I asked.
“Because I love you.”
I almost choked on my coffee as I took a sip.
“I’m serious,” Noah said. “The shit I’ve found out about my life and all the lies is just too much. The only honest thing I have is you. You never lied to me, Penny. You’ve been here since this mess started. After today, it all ends. Okay?”
“How so?” I asked.
&nb
sp; Noah made a fist. “I’m fighting tonight. And then I’m going to kill Erik.”
My stomach flipped. “Okay. I support you.”
“I’m sorry it’s all come to this, but I can’t mess around anymore.”
“Did something happen to Emily?”
“No. But she’s helping us.”
“Helping us?”
“Her husband owns a security company. He’s going to dig into Erik and give us information. We have to find a way to push back. Or at least have something to give Nathan when I force him to take this over.”
“And if Nathan says he won’t?”
Noah leaned over the counter. I drooled over his muscles and the way he looked after a night’s sleep.
“Why don’t you just enjoy your breakfast, honey?”
So I did just that.
When we finished, we spent the rest of the day pretty busy, not to mention stressed as we both had to keep looking over our shoulders, waiting for Erik to do something else. Whatever game he was playing, it was sick.
We checked up on Dalton.
We went to the gym where Noah trained, but my reward didn’t happen at the end of it. There were people in the gym which meant we couldn’t have sex on the mats. It was almost pathetic that when I looked at the mat I got turned on.
Then we grabbed something to eat and took it back to the apartment.
When we were done, Noah went into the bedroom to get changed. I followed him, the worst intentions rolling through my mind.
I slammed the door behind us and walked up behind him. My hands slid around and opened his jeans. I grabbed his jeans and boxers and said bye-bye to them as I pushed them down. His cock hung there, so beautiful even when flaccid. The second I touched him, he started to fill up. I was able to wrap my hand around him for about five seconds before he thickened and I could no longer touch my fingertips together. My other hand touched his stomach, feeling his muscles.
“This is bad luck for me,” he whispered. “I save this for after the fight.”
“I don’t give a shit,” I said. “Our luck hasn’t been all that great lately. I’m going to change it.”