“Let's go Anahí. He probably owes a lot of gambling money to stoop so low and try to poison me against you. I told you once and I'll tell you again, leave me be, Dad. Is the money I give you not enough? Do you also have to make my life hell? Forget about me and Anahí or I'll stop paying your allowance."
Klaus's father looks at me angrily and then stomps off in silence. Renato helps Klaus into the car and I sit next to him, quiet and surprised seeing the strong man next to me crying quietly, facing the window so I can't see him fall apart like this.
We're silent all the way home. Klaus didn't want my help taking the suit off, asking Renato to help him instead. I change my clothes in my room and decided to leave him alone with his thoughts, his inner demons. I put on a nightgown, take off my make-up and decided to sleep in my room, giving my man the time I know he needs. I wake up groggy while it's still dark outside when I hear the door open and Klaus coming in silently. He stops at the edge of my bed, sitting stiffly on his chair, his eyes tired, sad, and embarrassed. Until he breaks the silent with a low, despairing voice.
"I shouldn't have told Mark that I would've rather stayed in that car," he still can't face me. "If I had, everything would've been over, and I wouldn't have met you."
"Never again say that you wished you'd died, Klaus," I tell him, arching my eyebrow, looking at him seriously. "It doesn’t matter how many times we fall, but how many times we get up. You're a winner, always were, always will be. On the track and out of it. So don't behave like a loser, like a man with no prospects, because that's not you. The man I fell in love with is a fighter, a survivor, brave. The man that left that burning metal, that's the man I fall asleep next to every day... Not some bitter defeatist."
"I know," Klaus mumbles, tears in his eyes. "That's why I'm apologizing. I didn't expect to hear all I did tonight. I'm sorry, it was just too..."
"I know. It was too heavy to hold, I understand."
"Can, can I?" Klaus trips on his words, pointing at the bed, embarrassingly asking if he can sleep with me.
"Of course. You know how cold I get at night. I need your arms around me. Don't even think of letting me sleep alone."
Klaus pushes the chair next to the bed than pulls himself up, settling his legs and lying down before pulling me against his chest.
"As long as I live, you'll never have to sleep alone. Or be cold, I'm here to keep you warm... I was rude to you; do you forgive me?"
It's hard to see the man I love so broken and insecure. I think about his accident, closing my eyes and imagining the car catching fire, him caught behind the metal. Everything would've been so different if Mark hadn't decided to do what he did. This night wouldn't exist, I wouldn't have those huge blue eyes that I love so much looking at me every morning, or his strong arms around me, his hands setting fire to my skin, his mouth that drives me wild, kisses me deeply, sucks my sex masterly... His thick long cock fills my insides and my souls so intensely. Proof of how frail life is, messes with my feelings, my emotions... I straddle his hips and drag my mouth onto his, licking the corner of his lips, whispering quietly,
"I'll forgive you under one condition."
"What condition?"
Klaus asks curious, holding my waist.
I grab the hem of my nightgown and pull it up and off, making sure to rub on the meat column that hardens quickly between my thighs.
"I want you to make love to me and forget the world outside. Just you and me, right here and now."
Klaus pulls me against his chest, making me lean over him, pulling my lip between his teeth, slowly ripping my mesh panties with hungry fingers.
"Deal, my sexy little cabocla."
We make love intensely, frantic, with a sweet submission, primitive and greedy...no words can describe or name what we felt, connecting through our bodies, sliding against one another, rubbing our skin and sexes completing each other. One. And when we came together, moaning each other’s name quietly there was still no need for any words, our eyes glinting with love and pleasure spoke for us... It doesn't matter that the world around us thinks that we shouldn't be together, that it's wrong, inappropriate, pointless... For us, it's simple. Klaus has me where wants and desires me the most, and I feel I'm where I'm happier and complete: in his arms.
PART III
"Hardship often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny."
C. S. Lewis
CHAPTER 16
KLAUS
I pretend not to see the frustrated faces looking at me and as soon as Anahí flees to her room running from my nasty humor, Renato looks at me over his prescription glasses and grumbles,
"Then you complain that she's been distant. Not surprising with that sweet touch, friend." He shrugs, twisting his lips in a grimace.
I narrow my eyes and feel anger heat my face, anger at Renato's sharp tongue, anger at Anahí's useless and annoying optimism, insisting to believe that one day I'll get off Penélope and start salsa dancing on the streets, and, mainly, anger at myself, seeing my dreams of a happy ending worthy of hallmark movie draining from my hands, and there's nothing I can do about it, absolutely nothing.
"I need to fix my life," I mumble almost silently around the lump on my throat from seeing the disappointment in Anahí's eyes.
"What did you say?" Renato asks seriously, making me have to embarrassingly to ask for help.
To admit I'm not in control of my own life leaves me with a humiliating feel of impotence... There are just so many questions and so many answer I still need to figure out, that I don't even know where to start. I don't want to be one more retired domino player in Leblon's squares. I have to find a new path in my professional life, try to reacquaint myself with Úrsula, and try to convince a certain little Indian girl that I want her in my life permanently, and if that's not enough, who knows, maybe slide a wedding ring in my little cabocla's ring finger.
"I don't know how to go about it. Aren't you the ace of personal relationships? The master of psychology? Madureira's Freud? Then fucking help me!" I say frustrated and Renato keeps looking at me with a sour face, then his face softens and he, like always, prickles my bad mood with that mouth full of teeth smiling wide open.
"Because you're asking so nicely, I'll see what I can do to help you. Let's start with small wishes, the ones that you left behind because of Penélope."
I arch my eyebrow, unsure of where he's going with this crazy talk.
"I don't get it, Renato."
He stands up and comes to sit, leaning over to me, waiting for an answer. What the hell does this dude want me to say?
"Think of the silliest thing that you'd like to do right now, but can't because of the chair?"
"I don't fucking know...fuck standing up?"
Renato frowns, shakes his head, coughing he's laughing so hard.
"That I can't help you with. Remember you were the one that shot me down and said there would be no sex between us."
"And I bet I broke your heart."
"So, what else, Klaus?"
I roll away from him and go to look out of my penthouse's window to take in the view and my eyes fall on the beach, he walks to stand by my said and I say shyly, afraid of looking like a silly little boy.
"The sea, the waves hitting my feet. That's it, I said it, so now what Freud, what are you going to do with that information?" I ask trying to hide the frustration in seeing people walking on the waterfront, not for a second thinking how amazingly blessed they are that they can move freely.
"I'll let you know. Now give me two more wishes, I'm feeling genie-like. Enjoy it, since it doesn't happen every day."
"Ha! Then I'm going to make things harder for you. If you can help me out with little cabocla and Úrsula, then I swear, I’ll kiss your ass, dude."
"Ew, that's gross. I knew one day the truth would come out. Well, well, the tough Klaus Schneider it's actually a pervert!"
Anahí leaves her room with her evil therapist's killing look and growls through gritted teeth, "I'm
not afraid of your glare. I'm not going to make it easy for you today. Let's go, we have a lot of work to do."
"Mission given, mission accomplished. Give me your sister's number and this afternoon we're going somewhere, okay?" Renato whispers in my ear.
"What are you up to, Renato?" Before following Anahí to the gym, I can see Renato facing me with an innocent look. I can smell a trap, dear God! Why did I open up to this crazy dude?
I finish the fourth series of exercises Anahí set for me and I'm already sweating like a horse and she faces me challenging me to complain and I restrain bravely, repeating the bridge movements she asked for.
"That's it, Mr. Klaus Schneider. No dragging your ass. Did you see how your hip movements are getting better every day? In this room I'm not the good guy, or your understanding friend. You pay me well to help you with your recovery and I swear that I'll do my best. The least that I expect from you is the same level of dedication. Now one more round of five exercises to strengthen your upper body and members. Let's go Klaus, you're almost there."
After our PT session, Anahí sits on the bed with her computer and shows me the notes of Ciro Abib, the physical therapist that works with her.
"The therapy proposed with the patient has shown real results, mainly in the areas mentioned below: strength of upper members, there's a noticeable improvement in hip movement on bridge exercises, also a lack of bone and muscular density loss."
"Read this when you think the exercises we propose are useless," she says looking hurt.
Before Anahí can leave me and my pride alone, I speak low, "I'm sorry. I, I'm..."
"An idiot. Yes, I know."
"I was going to say anxious. But idiot also fits like a glove. I don't deserve not even a kiss, a sniff at your neck, or even your mouth on my–"
"Keep dreaming, white man. When you stop growling I'll think about it. But right now I'm going to the market with Maria das Dores since I like choosing the vegetables, fruits, and greens of your diet. Bye, Klaus."
"Don't take too long, little cabocla."
After lunch Renato finds me and happily asks, "So, can we go now?"
"Where are we going?"
"I can't tell you, it's a surprise. Just bring your credit card, we're going shopping for some toys."
"Man, why do I think you're up to something?"
"You scared? Don't you trust Big Renato?"
Jarbas, the driver, arrived just in time to say in unison with me, "No!”
Renato guides Jarbas to go into the city center and stop at a shop of medical equipment and accessories. When we go inside the manager, a short, fat man wearing a suit tight across his bulging belly, greets us pleasantly.
"Mr. Schneider, correct?" He asks me patting his forehead with a small handkerchief.
"Correct. Good afternoon."
"You're lucky, this is the only amphibious chair we have in stock. If you could follow me, please?"
"What the fuck is this frog chair?" I ask Renato between gritted teeth.
"Amphibious, Klaus. It's a chair specially for water activities. With it you could bathe in the sea like normally."
The manager told me how to use it and I couldn't hide my joy in buying it. The price is pretty steep for the general population, which makes me unhappy thinking that not everyone with reduced mobility are as lucky as me and is able to afford it.
On the way back Renato suggest that we go to Pepê beach tomorrow and I jump on it, elated that I can go on the sea. As soon as Anahí gets home, I pull her to my lap, stroking my hands over the thick thighs to her hips. She gasps when she feels my tongue kissing her nipples through the v-neck silk blouse, leaving them pointed, ready to be sucked like ripe fruit. We make love unhurriedly, an intense connection, just ours. I love the seductive sight of her body moving on mine, her hips hitting mine, the tight pussy swallowing my dick hungrily before we come together. And for a minute I thought that even if I never have sex with her standing up, it doesn't matter, having her in my arms, so committed and so mine, that's the biggest gift.
I woke up happy and excited about going to the beach. Anahí makes use of her morning off to go buy some clothes with Maria das Dores, my cook. For some time now I've caught her chatting with Jarbas, I suspect there's something going on between them, Das Dores is a widow and Jarbas is divorced. Even though he's younger than her by a few years, I'm pretty sure he's falling for the strong-featured, plump, and petite brunette.
We get to Pepê beach before 9AM and people are already exercising on the boardwalk while a group of teenagers play a friendly game of footvolley. Renato puts Penélope in a hut and I pat her rubber arms, saying quietly, "Pen, there's no need to be jealous. You're still my favorite girl. Renato, we need to baptize the frog chair with a pretty name."
"Amphibious, Klaus. I was thinking, she's black, with fat wheels, we could call her Jurema, Black Jurema. What do you think?"
"Approved. Now let's go on with it, Black Jurema and I have a lot of fun to enjoy today."
Before we go down to the sand, Renato and Jarbas help me take off my shirt and short, leaving me with swimming briefs. Renato pushes Jurema and I ask him to go slowly, I want to enjoy this amazing sunny morning with no hurry. We settle in a hut and I choose to get a little sun while Renato and Jarbas drink coconut water. We're all in our swimming briefs, comfortable, relaxed. Renato answers the phone and talks animatedly with someone, telling them which hut is ours. About fifteen minutes later, I have my eyes closed, enjoying an amazing jazz on my phone when I hear a strong voice, surprisingly familiar.
"Can I join you?"
I take off my sunglasses and Úrsula is standing next to me, wearing a short and a black top, with a huge hat protecting her pale face from the sun.
"Ursa, what are you doing here?" I ask, surprised.
Ursa is her childhood nickname, since when I was small I couldn't say her name right, so she's always been Ursa, my Ursa major, my big sister, friend at times, now here, in front of me.
"Your friend said that you wanted to enjoy a sunny morning with me, like old times. Is it true?" Úrsula says, pointing at Renato. He shrugs, looking innocent and joyful.
"If you have the time, it would be my pleasure. Sit here next to me. Do you want mint pineapple juice?"
"You still remember my favorite juice?"
"Of course, I'm still your brother, Úrsula."
"Right, a pain in the ass troublemaker it's more like it."
Úrsula drinks her pineapple juice and I join her with coconut water, then she takes Jurema to the water and joins me there. How to describe what I'm feeling right now? There are no words. The deep blue sea and waves splashing at my feet bring me a peace I haven't felt in a long time, an amazing sensation of freedom, true happiness. I close my eyes when I feel Úrsula holding my hand, telling me without words that she's always been on my side, even with my selfish and coward stance in not giving her support when she needed it the most. I can't stop my lips from trembling and tears escape the corner of my eyes without my permission. Úrsula hugs my shoulders from behind and kisses my face, drying my tears with a tenderness, shielding me, as if we haven't been estranged these past years.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here, Klaus. I have always been, and always will be on your side."
I kiss her hands and we gaze at the sunshine hitting the sky-blue sea together.
"Ursa, I'm sorry. I should've..."
"I know, you should've supported me, defend me against Dad. Yes, you were selfish, Kau, but the man if front of me is a better man. You've learned from the challenges life has thrown at you, you've grown. You're forgiven. I don't want to be estranged from my brother, my little brother. I accept your apology with one condition, that you are the best man at mine and Luiza's wedding."
"Deal. Now tilt Jurema a little more, the water is great."
Renato walks over with a man holding a surfing board, animated,
"Klaus, this is Marcelo. He's one of the people in charge of the Adaptsurf project that takes place
here at Pepê beach and at Leblon beach, where some instructors help and teach people with reduced mobility to surf, adapting their boards to their needs. If you want, you can have a talk now and set up surf lessons for later. What do you think?"
"Sounds perfect. I'll definitely want it. Tell me more about the project."
Marcelo explains how the boards are adapted so the handicapped can surf lying down, pulling two straps that diminish the drag and a chin support, helping row. He also explains that Adaptsurf takes place in Pepê beach on Saturdays and Leblon beach on Sundays. We talk for some time and set up to meet next Saturday when he'll bring me a board so I can start learning this surfing technique with him.
After bathing in the sea, Úrsula brings me back under the parasol. Three brunettes stop in front of us with tiny bikinis and I laugh at Úrsula, Renato, and Jarbas, silently sighing watching the hotties parading their perfect asses.
"You better behave or I'll tell Luiza, Ursa."
"Don't be a spoil-sport, I'm just enjoying the view. Isn't it something?"
"Okay, yeah."
Renato grumbles, smiling.
"He only has eyes for his little cabocla, Miss Úrsula."
Úrsula laughs and retorts, "Call me Úrsula. No need to be formal, Renato. But I have to be honest, your girl’s hot as hell, my brother."
"Stop, you two. Yes, she's gorgeous, I'm hooked on my little cabocla. I want to join the committed men's group, but I don't think she feels the same."
Úrsula arches an eyebrow, curious. She laughs, hitting my shoulder, "Getting married, Kau? So things are serious between you two. What's missing for you to gather the courage and ask her?"
"I don't fucking know! I thought it would be better to wait until I'm more advanced in my recovery."
"I think you worry about this much more than her. Be careful you don't wait too long and lose your courage."
Fatefully Yours Page 12