"And what's the answer? What's more important, Ursa?" I ask, playing with her fingers, unable to look at her.
"Even if you're a pain in the ass, of course it's my love for you, little brother!"
Renato joins us and looks at the watch, letting us know we're late.
"It's ten already. If we're late our women are going to kill us!"
"Speak for yourself Renato, everyone knows Lili keeps you in a short leash. Aren't you embarrassed? A man your size allowing her to kick you off the bed and sleep on the couch?" Úrsula teases Renato, laughing her ass off.
"Look who's talking. I wasn't the one whose wife hit her with a towel in the beach, in front of everyone."
We leave the beach and drink one more coconut water in the kiosk, then go back home. I may play ogre and snarl at little cabocla, but as soon as she gives me that killer look, like she's going to scalp me, I jump to do whatever she wants.
"Your mom is a mess that can't change a diaper. Come here with me, big guy."
I hold Dudu and take him to the changing facilities at the party ballroom to clean him up. Some women changing their children gawk at me and I don't understand why. What? Have they never seen a man changing a baby's diaper? Stupid machismo. Ever since Apoena was born, I made a point of learning how to change diapers, give bottles, burp her. I always wanted to be a father who’s present, active, different from old Chico Schneider, that just threw money at me and nothing more. I want the word father to be a mouthful for my daughter, for her to know that I'm her best friend and companion when she needs me the most.
Úrsula and Luiza have raised Eduardo since he was a newborn. Unfortunately, Dudu is one more fruit of the poverty of our country and was left by his mom in the maternity clinic where Luiza works. My godson's adoption process is still making his way through the courts, but they have provisional custody and are lovingly raising him. Today is Dudu's christening and we're all very happy to have him as the newest member of the Schneider family.
A big-breasted brunette finishes straightening her daughter's diaper and asks me, looking me up and down, "Hi, I think I know you from somewhere. Didn't you give an interview on JP Esporte this week?"
"Yes, I'm responsible for a project of a sport center for at-risk athletes."
"Wow, that's amazing! I would love to know more about your work," she says, licking her lips.
"Let me tell her about it, baby! Apoena, go with daddy. Nice to meet you, I'm the physical therapist on the project and his wife, Anahí Schneider."
Anahí walks into the changing room and hands me Apoena and holds Dudu, narrowing her almond eyes. She half-smiles at the brunette that finishes dressing her daughter quickly and says embarrassed, "Oh! You're married? That's nice! You make such a different couple!"
The brunette looks Anahí up and down and I follow her eyes, checking out the neckline of my little cabocla's lace dress She look awesome today, being a mom made her even more beautiful. I bite Apoena's belly and leave the changing room in time to hear Anahí say, "Klaus is descendant from Germans and I'm Indian, from the Terena tribe, you may have heard of us."
"No, never. Are they a cannibalistic indigenous tribe?"
"Only when people try to steal what belongs to us. Excuse me."
Anahí leaves the changing room and hands me Dudu, taking Apoena from me again. She comes closer cheekily, biting her bottom lip and whispers making me hard, "If you hadn't chatted up that bitch, you would've won a nice little present tonight."
"I did nothing, babe, I was only being polite. What present were you going to give me?"
"Weren't you curious to know what I do in the gym every day? I'm learning pole dancing, and just today I was going to put on a show for you with the new lingerie that I bought."
"You shouldn't tease me like this. If we weren't at this fucking party, I'd eat you up right now. Dance for me, baby! Fuck! You made me so hard, little cabocla. After you dance for me, I'll fuck you so hard and won't stop until we're both so tired we can't walk. Tonight I want to come inside that sweet little pussy, I'm going to bury myself in that tight little ass, you naughty oncilla."
"Bring it on, Viking. I'll can’t wait for tonight!"
Ah! Little cabocla, later I'm going to fuck you so hard... Anahí leaves me with hungry eyes, moving her hips from side to side, and I'm pulled out of my perverted daydreams with the persistent ringing of my cellphone. I'm surprised to see it's an international call, a man greets me with a heavy Italian accent, "Good evening. Mr. Klaus Schneider? My name is Giuseppe Dante, and I work for the Brazilian Embassy in Rome. Do you know someone called Débora Schneider?"
I move away from the noise of children playing in the ballroom and go to a quieter place, still in shock from hearing Débora's name.
"Yes, I do. She's my adoptive mother. What happened?"
"Mrs. Schneider came to us for asylum. According to her she got involved with a man named Amadeo Santorini, a scam artist wanted by our police for robbing vulnerable woman, wanted for larceny. She's one of the victim of his millionaire count scam. He attacked her, stole all of her money, and left her wandering the streets. She has no way to go back to Brazil, she has no money and asked for asylum in our embassy. You were Mrs. Schneider only point of contact, she's being assisted by another employee in the next room. Would you speak to her?"
"Wait a moment, please."
I inhale deeply trying to catch my breath, holding my cellphone with shaking hands. I'm lost. I don't know what to think or do. My mom walks over to me with timid steps, holding hands with my father. I quickly fill them in on the Débora situation, while the embassy employee holds the line. My mom hugs me by the waist and tells me kindly, tenderly, in her gentle way, "Débora’s made a lot of mistakes, Klaus. But still, she raised you, there's no escaping that. She's your sister's, Úrsula, mother. I know you're hurt, but you're a good man, my son. You won't be able to live with yourself knowing she's in pain, alone, and so far away."
I agree with my mom's words. My heart hurts thinking of Débora alone and hurting in Italy. Fuck it all if that makes me softhearted. I go back to Giuseppe and ask to speak with Débora. When she hears me voice, she starts crying silently.
"Débora, can you hear me?"
"Yes, Klaus. I'm so embarrassed, I don't know what to say," she says quietly, ashamed, insecure.
"You don't need to say anything. I'm doing this for Úrsula and in deference for all the years you raised me. Give me your bank details, I'll find a way to send you enough money so you can buy a ticket back to Brazil and a small amount for your expenses. Felipe will get in touch with the embassy today to help you in whatever you need."
"I have no way to thank you, Klaus."
"Don't thank me. Just come back safe and sound. Goodbye, Débora."
VILA ISABEL, RJ – TWO YEARS LATER
KLAUS
The sportscaster calls my name through the speaker and I walk quickly to center field, waving to fans and guest in the stands.
"The driver Klaus Schneider, one of the sponsor for our charity soccer will have the first kick of the game.”
The sun is hot and I fix the cap in my hat and try to give a clumsy starting run, kicking the ball to start the soccer game.
Renato has been a part of this charity soccer in Vila Isabel for years and asked me to help out at the event, which I promptly accepted. Everything that has to with supporting children and teenager leave a vulnerable life, and encouraging them to dedicate themselves to sport, seeing a new reality away from crime and drugs, I'm always in! I never went back to racing professionally., but I feel surprisingly fulfilled by finding new athletes and managing their careers, making them professionals through my Sport Center. This event is another such initiative to garner money and build a multi-sports court here in Vila Isabel, in Morro do Pau da Bandeira, the community where Big was born and lived in until recently.
Renato runs from one end of the field to the other, breathless, confident, looking like an elderly Neymar, and complaining all th
e time that none of his teammates pass him the ball. His team, Malandros da Vila, is losing 2-0 to the visiting team, made up mostly by ex-athletes and samba artists.
During the first period they are able to score a goal, but emotions run high during the last minutes of the game. The game is hard, I don't want to show it, but deep down, way deep down, I'm rooting for the Malandros. After all, my faithful squire, the two-legged tank that I hated from the moment I met, is the team's captain. I bite my nails as the game draws to a close, sitting on a bench next to Ciro, Ursa, Bruno and Amanda, and when I'm about to give up the game as lost, Renato makes a move worthy of Garrincha, dribbling past one, two, three center-backs from the rival team, leading the ball with mastery and puts the ball in the corner of the goalpost, indefensible for the goalkeeper.
Less than a minute later, the judge blows the end of the game and Renato does his ridiculous dance, hanging from the fence, for the crowd, feeling like Zico himself in a Flamengo versus Vasco game.
I jump and scream like an idiot, happy for my partner and when he comes closer, I tease him saying that it was an easy goal, just to piss him off.
After the game there's a delicious barbecue for players and guests, and an improvised samba circle. Zeca Pagodinho and Arlindo Cruz make everybody sing and I clap following the beat of the tambourine and pandeiro[19]. Everyone sitting down is asked to start singing a samba and when they call my name, I'm not shy, I take the mic and do something that's been a long way coming.
"I'm calling for a samba, but first I wanted to talk about a man that's sitting here in this table. When I met Renato I was going through the worst time in my life. The people that know me can tell you I've always lived for racing, F1 was the air I breathed and suddenly I was paraplegic. I never told anyone this, but twice I thought of ending that pain, but God works in mysterious ways, and I never did it. This ugly guy you see was my nurse, and he took care of me with a dedication that money can't buy. I was the biggest asshole, hard-headed, but with a lot of hard work, he taught me that a friend is not the one that's with you at parties, in times of fun, easy money, in times of plenty. A true friend is the one that you can count on during the worst moment of your life, when not even you can believe that you can climb out of the hole. That's a true friend. Today I can say I have four siblings: Úrsula, Bruno, Amanda, and Big. I'm tone-death, but I'll ask the masters of samba to help me sing this one."
Everyone accompanies me clapping and the first notes of "The Friendship" play in the cavaquinho[20].
My friend
Friend, today my inspiration
Connected to you
In the form of a samba
Told me to tell you
Without argument
In this moment
Made go into
Our friendship
To clear out the truth
Not afraid to act
Because of our familiarity
You're going to listen to me
I was young when I began searching
For new paths in a better world
Be sure that with you I never failed
Because I gained in strength
Making the friendship bigger
Not even time will destroy
We are truth...
Not even this loving samba can sum us up
I want to cry your tears
I want to smile your smiles
Thank you for existing friend
I want to cry your tears
I want to smile your smiles
Thank you for existing friend
Before the music is over, Big stands up from the table and gives me one of his hugs: strong, warm, and honest. The friends around tease us, telling us to kiss and he speaks loudly so that everyone hears, making me die of embarrassment.
"No kissing on the mouth, but today is the day. Look people, this guy here made me a promise that if I helped him win over his wife, a beautiful little Indian, with all due respect Klaus, he'd kiss my ass. And he hasn't paid up yet. Is that what you're going to teach your daughter? A promise is sacred, my friend."
Under the chorus of 'kiss, kiss, kiss" I close my eyes so I don't hit the dude's face and say, pissed off, "Then turn around, fucker!"
He sticks out his ass, posing and I pay up, making everyone laugh.
Then I shake his hand and growl between gritted teeth.
"You'll pay for this, Big. You're lucky I have no idea where I am or I'd kick your ass."
"You know why you won't do that, Klaus Schneider?"
"Huh?"
"Because you love me. You love me, you son of a bitch."
I close my fist and then drink another cold beer, toasting our friendship, another gift I won in this surprise-filled life.
EPILOGUE
ANAHÍ
The last three months have been fantastic. After diving in the work at the Sports Center, helping in the hiring and training of the project’s team of health professionals, I finally allowed myself a break, even if a short one. I needed the well-earned rest and I'm making the most of it, doing simple things like going to the mall with my friends, or like today, dedicating myself to my daughter, watching her grow older and develop every day. Apoena looks very much like me, she has brown skin, long, dark, straight hair, and from Klaus she got the eyes, beautifully blue and the strong personality.
She one of those children that was born knowing what they want. Even Renato spoils my daughter, and when she mimics godfather Big's grumbles everyone laughs. Time passes and I, always rational, feet on the floor, am still surprised about how my love with Klaus grows in a solid and true way every day. Ever since I met him, Klaus has always been a man with little emotional skill. Love was a foreign feeling in his life, distant, almost an indecipherable equation. Nowadays, the way he puts himself out there, and commits to the people he has taken as his, is touchingly beautiful.
He's a very easy man to love, to be honest, it's practically impossible not to fall in love with him. For the simple fact that he's imperfect, but within his imperfections, the cracks of his broken soul, insecure and filled with flaws, makes him enchantingly real. My prince didn't come in a white horse, he came into my life in a wheelchair, broken, with his self-love destroyed, almost dead. Seeing the warrior boy behind the hopelessly empty eyes was hard, a long path. The good thing is that I'm a survivor by nature, from a stubborn and warrior race, we've resisted on this ground for centuries and I've learned from my people to paint myself for the battles in my life and never give up. I rejected the rudeness and admired the strength of the man lying down on that hospital bed and from that mix of disgust and enchantment grew between us an overpowering and fickle desire that did its best, insisted so much, that turned inevitably to love.
I love Klaus, I love my Viking so much, that to this day, after three years since our story began, I'm still surprised.
This week is busier than usual, yesterday my parents-in-law, Mariana and Chico, after various ups and downs, got married. Today me and my cohorts are spending girl's afternoon together, and at night Klaus and I are going to a tribute to him at the Rio's City Hall.
Amanda, now a beautiful 15-year-old, taller than me, looks at me with that mocking look, the one that make you feel like a freak circus show, and questions me about my recent weird behavior.
"I'm I the only one that thought it was weird that you cried your eyes out because of the movie?"
Lili looks at me through her beer glass, and makes a face that seems to say, I told you you've been acting weird!
"You're just heartless, Mandinha. It was emotional." I turn to Luiza and Lili and ask, surprised that they're shaking their heads, "The death didn’t make you want to cry? Damn it, that was so sad. You're a bunch of heartless women."
"Anahí, you're talking as if we watched a drama. The horrible death you're talking about was an animated lion. I still don't understand why we had to watch a silly cartoon instead of something good."
"Well, I thought it was beautiful."
&nb
sp; Luiza watches me silently, looking me up and down then turns to face Amanda, like they're talking with their eyes, about something I don't understand.
Lili asks for one more beer to the waiter and tells me calmly, "Let me just finish this one and then we can go to the pharmacy for a pregnancy test. Even though all of us, you included, Ms. Anahí, know what it’s going to say."
"It's just hormones, girls. I got my period..."
"When? Last month, three months ago?" Luiza asks mockingly.
I frown trying to remember if I got my period this last month and if I forgot to take my pill any day. When I'm about to refute the possibility I remember the weekend my Viking and I went to the farm and fucked like bunnies in heat and I... I forgot to pack the fucking pill.
"Eating like a horse, hormonal changes causing mood swings to the point where you bawl your eyes because of a ridiculous cartoon like that, those hips that grow to the naked eye, disruption of the menstrual cycle. Yeah, little sister-in-law, the symptoms are clear. Again I'm happy to tell you you're pregnant, very pregnant Anahí."
I bite my lip, nervous as I stand from the table suddenly.
"Finish that shit and let's go to the pharmacy, Lili."
After peeing the mall's bathroom in five strips I hug Lili, my best friend, shaken, still unable to believe I'm going to be a mom again.
KLAUS
"Now, we're going to hear from tonight's honored guest, Klaus Schneider."
I shake the city council's president’s hand and smile at the people facing me. I open the speech Úrsula wrote for me a week ago, then close the paper again, putting it back in my pocket.
"I thought of making a formal speech today, but the people that know me, know that if I followed any kind of plan, I wouldn't be me." Everyone smile and I keep going, embarrassed. "It's this tribute had happened two years ago, I would've been comfortable thinking that I was in fact so important and fantastic as you're kindly telling me I am. But today I'm uncomfortable, all this applause makes me ashamed, because I'm getting them alone, while the people deserving of all this recognition are right here in front of me. My medical team, nurses, physical therapist, psychologists, coaches, investors. They are the one that make my dream of rescuing the dignity of these invisible athletes, of taking the guns from children's hand and encouraging them to try sports, a reality. There are many people to thank, but I would like to name the CMO and the CTO, Ciro Abib and Renato Antunes, and, specially, one of the founders of the Klaus Schneider Sports Center, the physical therapist and my wife, Anahí Saraíba Schneider. If you, Anahí, hadn't brought me back to life, I wouldn't have had the strength to leave that wheelchair, forget self-pity and see so many people in need of support and encouragement around. Thank you, darling. Encourage sport and the professional empowerment of these athletes. If we believe and support children and young people to leave the margins of society and become the stars of their own stories, I'm sure we'll have a less violent city and a better country to leave to our children and grandchildren."
Fatefully Yours Page 22