by Alex Nast
That's all I am to these animals. A commodity. A meat suit for some rich asshole to buy, upload his mind in to and wear around.
Unless I can get away first.
I can see the Towers, gleaming and perfect in the distance, in the inner city, disappearing up in to the dusty clouds that cover everything, from centuries back, when smart men tried to use science to fix the climate. Only they weren't smart enough. At least that's what they say in the markets. They say the Towers poke up above the dust too, and that the sky is blue up there, not red like it is down here, and the sun is so bright it makes people squint their eyes. Maybe my eyes will see that blue sky one day. I won't be behind those eyes, but... I push the thought out of my head. I can't think like that.
Their stories are bullshit anyway. People make up all kinds of stories to give themselves hope. People like Felix believe that one day, if they work hard, they'll be able to afford to move in to the inner city. Maybe even get a Tower apartment for themselves. And then they will see the blue sky too.
It's just weakness. They believe the stories because they don't want to see the truth. They were born poor and they will die poor, far from the technology and the hydroponic food and all the rest that the inner city hoards for itself.
Idiots.
I don't believe in fairy tales. I was born beautiful, and my fate was always to be hunted by Body Hunters. There was always a chance that I might make it long enough that I would be too old to be wanted by the Towers, but it was always such a small chance. The Body Hunters are paid well, and are very good at what they do. Some of them anyway. I've killed plenty, but there's no shortage of desperate people willing to pull scarves and risk a knife in the gut for a chance at a huge bounty.
And now I'm caught. Not by a desperate amateur either. But I won't give up yet. Giving up when there's still a chance is just as stupid as believing in the fairy tales.
Which is when I spot my chance. As soon as I see the military patrol rounding the corner in the distance I know what I need to do. I start pushing at the tape across my mouth with my tongue, working moisture in between the tape and my skin, creating a hole.
The patrol ambles closer, in no rush. At best they'll give Victor a curious look, but I know they're not even going to bother stopping him. They know who pays them. Kidnapping is a crime any other time, but I'm not even a human being according to the Towers. Just a commodity. A thing. Victor might as well be carrying a piece of furniture.
But I know what will get a military patrol's attention.
I work frantically on the tape, but I can't find the edge, and the patrol is getting close.
The patrol nods at Victor and he nods back. That's all the consideration I get. Bastards.
They pass by and I get a little gap of the edge of the tape loose. I'm going to lose my chance. Shit. I wiggle my whole mouth, tongue pressing as hard as I can. I don't care if Victor notices now.
Finally, one side of the tape is free from my face.
I turn, looking back at the military patrol, and as Victor drags me forward I shout as loud as I can, "this guy has a gun!"
Four heads all turn at once to look at us. The military might look the other way for a Body Hunter with a body, but a gun is an immediate death sentence, even for someone like Victor. Only the military has the right to carry guns, and there are no exceptions.
The patrol immediately turns around and approaches us, aggressive, fingers on triggers. "All three of you, against the wall," the lead soldier says.
"She's bullshitting you, just trying to get away," Victor says, exasperated.
"Did I stutter? Kiss that fucking wall!" The lead soldier's gun comes up, pointed at Victor.
Victor stands his ground a second, then sighs and presses himself up against the wall between Felix and I.
"You're going to pay for this," Victor mutters at me.
I turn my head and look the other way. Now I just need to figure out how to get away. I'm hoping that Victor puts up a fight. That'll be my chance. He can take two of them at least. One more for Felix. Hopefully the fourth one ignores me as I'm running away. It's a chance.
"If you give us the gun we'll make it quick," the lead soldier says at our backs. "A bullet to the head. If you make us look for it you'll get five bullets in the gut. Your choice buddy."
"I'm going to get it out, but it's not a gun. Don't get all trigger happy on me okay? It's not a gun."
"We'll see."
I turn my head back around and watch. Victor slowly pulls the stun gun out of his inner jacket pocket, gripping the butt with a finger and a thumb. Slowly, he pulls it free.
He seems way too calm. "He's going to shoot," I yell, putting plenty of panic in to my voice.
I hear activity behind me, but no one starts shooting. Victor is looking at me like he's going to murder me.
"Freeze right there."
Victor freezes.
"Drop it on the ground."
Victor drops the stun gun on the ground.
I hear one of the soldiers shuffle forward, and see him pick up the stun gun and then retreat back to the group.
"Stun gun," is all I hear behind me.
There's a moment, of silence, Victor and I both looking at each other with our faces pressed up against the wall, and I can see in his eyes that he doesn't know any more than me if they're going to shoot or not. I will him to turn around, charge, make a stupid, desperate mistake, but he stays glued to the wall. If they shoot him up against the wall like this I'll never have a chance to get away. They might leave me with Felix, which would be the best I could hope for. Felix I can get away from. But more likely they'll take me in themselves, and if Felix complains they'll shoot him too.
I don't what else I can do.
"Big man, get over here," the soldier sounds pissed. But he isn't executing Victor. At least not yet.
Victor turns from the wall and walks out of my eyesight.
"You're ex-military ya?"
"Ya," Victor says.
"Unit?"
"Dust Eaters."
There's another long moment of silence. Victor's close now, it's the best chance he's going to get to take them down. He has to try. There's no way they're going to let him live.
"I figured. You've got the look."
Another long moment of silence. What could they be debating. Just shoot him. I want to scream it at them.
"You were anyone else, I'd put a bullet in your head for having this thing, understand? It's not a projectile weapon but it's close enough. Another patrol might do it anyway, even knowing who you are. Not everyone's fond of Dust Eaters, but you guys saved my ass once on a run up North, so I'm not going to be the one to put a bullet in your head."
Fuckers. They're actually letting him go. I figured the one thing I could absolutely count on was the military to put a bullet in the head of someone carrying a gun. I guess the rules get bent if you're part of the club though.
Even down here in the shit hole part of the city there are the powerful and the powerless.
"I appreciate you letting me off. This stunner is only for pretty little things like her, I would never use this on a brother in uniform."
The asshole is really laying it on thick.
"You think you'll get a decent bounty for her?"
Victor laughs, "It'll be an honest days work."
I want to scream.
"In fact..." I hear Victor doing something, "no reason you guys shouldn't share in the profits a little. One good turn deserves another right?"
I sneak a glance back. He's paying them off. Unbelievable.
"We're happy to take all donations."
I don't need to look back, I can hear the smile on the soldier's face. This keeps getting better and better. Victor's making friends now.
"Stay safe out there guys." Victor walks back to me. I watch him stash the stun gun back in his jacket. They didn't even take it away from him, they let him keep it. Maybe that's what the bribe was for.
The soldiers walk
away, and Victor spins me around so that I'm facing him, my back against the wall. What's he going to do? He can't do anything that leaves a mark, but he must have ways. After twenty years doing this job he must know how to get creative with punishment.
"That almost worked." He yanks down my scarf and mashes the tape back on my face. I try to squirm away but there's no where to go. Next he takes my scarf off, then wraps it tight around my face, making sure to get it over my mouth and my eyes, leaving a hole only for my nose. I feel him tie the two ends together, so that they whole thing is secure.
No sneaky beating, no punishment. He doesn't care enough. In his mind he's probably too busy counting his money to worry about me. He sticks his hand underneath my armpit and we start walking again, and I know that I've lost my best possible chance at freedom. If I don't think of something even better, I'm going to end up as a meat suit.
3
9.96. The full measure of what I'm worth. Victor finally tells Felix when we get inside.
It's a higher score than anyone. Ever. Since the invention of the SBS camera. Higher than the score of the richest Tower penthouse owner. I have the most beautiful face in the world. I feel like I'm going to be sick.
Sometimes I hate what I am, wish I was ugly. Just an anonymous nobody, believing in the fairy tale of a better life in the inner city. I wouldn't even need a Tower apartment, just something quiet and clean and safe. The real fantasy though is friends. A husband. People that I can trust. Because when I look at people now all I can see is betrayal. I dared to trust Felix for just a moment and look what it got me.
I am cursed.
Now my body will be sold. Some Tower dwelling CEO will buy me, live in me, waltz me around and pamper me. Look at me for hours in the mirror, admiring the perfection of my face. They'll wear me to dine on hydroponic food, wear me to a party and shove designer drugs up my nose, wear me to their lover's bed.
I remind myself for the tenth time that I can't let this overwhelm me. I can still find a way out. Tune out shame and dignity and pain and there is a way out. Always.
"9.96..." Felix bolts the metal door shut and Victor watches him do it. "Is that even possible?"
"I'm not sure," Victor says. "Before her the highest recorded score was 9.87." He's looking at me like a piece of meat and I shift uncomfortably, trying to pull away from his grip on my forearm. The way he looks at me - not a human, just a thing - makes my skin crawl.
I take a good look around. It's dark except for a couple of holes in the ceiling that let in slanting shafts of dull red light. Huge machines, wrecked and rusting, with pieces of ceiling hanging off of them. No signs of habitation though. No one to help me if I scream. We must be in the old industrial part of New Seattle. Too toxic and polluted to live in. It must be safe here though. I don't think Victor would make a stupid mistake like that.
"That so close to 10, it just doesn't seem possible," Felix says. "Do you think the camera is broken?"
"No. Maybe. I have no idea." Victor stops and I stop with him. "Let's get another look at you." He unwraps the scarf from around my head, then removes the tape.
"I'm going to pull your intestines out through your mouth if you don't-" Victor wraps one hand around my windpipe and squeezes until my threats turn to gasping sounds.
He pulls my head close, "we both know that I'm not going to hit you even after that stunt you pulled with the patrol, because those bastards in the Towers who pay too much money for pretty little things like you look for any excuse to nickel and dime hard working souls like myself. But if you keep going on like that, or make any attempt to escape, there are plenty of horrible things I can do to you that won't leave any marks. Understand?"
I nod, and assure him with a look that I will be killing him soon but I can see in his eyes I'm just a thing that he's going to exchange for money, and it breaks me a little inside. Just a walking, talking pile of cash. I hate him, and I revel in the hate. Better than letting the terror in.
He finally loosens his grip on my throat and I gasp greedily for air.
"See, take a look," Victor says over his shoulder to Felix.
Felix edges closer.
"Her face has perfect symmetry. And everything is perfectly proportioned, like look," and he points a meaty finger right at me like I'm not even there, "see how her eyes are just the right distance apart, and are just the right size. And her lips, the shape of them? The camera examines all of it, calculates it, assigns a score."
For just a glimmer of a second some part of me is flattered at his words. I am perfect. Closer than anyone else anyway. I don't deserve to be treated like this. They should respect me more than they do. I am better than both of them. Beauty is valued above everything else... except when it's chained to a pipe in the outer city.
"How can you sell people like this?" I lace my words with every ounce of judgment that I can summon. "You do the bidding of the Towers like good little boys, doing their dirty work." Victor is ignoring me, but Felix is paying attention. "You say I eat scraps and garbage but what do you eat? Hydroponics from the Towers? No, it's the filth that passes for food from outside the city. Who knows what's in that stuff. You think your lives are so much better than mine? They're not. We fuck each other over so that those assholes can get a little richer. Does that seem like a good idea to you?" It's a version of the same pointless speech I can overhear in the market on any given day, before the military moves in and breaks the teeth of the fool who opened their mouth.
Felix is looking at me like he's halfway convinced.
But Victor just laughs. "Thing is, you're right. We're all living down in the same pile of shit, fighting it out for the scraps. But guess what little girl, me and Felix here, we're getting out."
I curl my lips at him.
"Ya, that's right. We're going to sell your perfect little face for so much money that we'll become those rich assholes."
"Go to hell," I mutter at him.
"Just think," he continues, "your sacrifice is going to help a couple down on their luck guys like us live the good life. Our families are going to live the good life. Felix's kid won't have to eat that nasty shit from the outskirts. And in the grand scheme of things, don't you think it's worthwhile to sacrifice yourself for that?"
I look away.
"Won't you think of Felix's child? No? Felix I think she wants your kid to die. Does that seem fair to you?"
I look at Felix, who is seeing me, the person, and I can tell he is deeply uncomfortable. He hasn't been a Body Hunter long enough to see just the meat, and not the person too. No doubt that will change when he gets his first paycheck. Might be his last paycheck too, the way Victor is talking. How can I compete with that? I have to though. He's my way out. At least, Victor sure isn't my way out.
"Are you sure the camera isn't broken?" Felix asks. "It's just, her score seems too high. It's impossible right? I don't want to do this if we're not sure."
"No, the camera's not broken," Victor says, "she's the real thing. Ya, some asshole with too much money is going to pay us a fortune for her." He laughs and slaps Felix on the back, "no more slumming it for us with the lowlifes. We'll each have enough to get a nice apartment in a tower and eat hydroponics for every meal. Who knows, I might even spring for a mistress. Sure would make my wife happy."
He laughs at his own joke.
Felix doesn't say anything, but I can see him doing the math in his head. The guilt of killing me weighed against the life that he could buy for himself and for whoever might be back at home, depending on him to get this done.
"Don't listen to her bullshit, okay?" Victor must see the look on Felix's face too. "This whole world is fucked, and you're either the one doing evil shit to other people, or the one having evil shit done to you. Got it?"
Felix sighs, "this isn't what I thought it would be."
"It's wrong and you know it," I say, "don't listen to him." I'm the good angel on his shoulder, chiding him to do the right thing, and Victor is the devil, dangling the lif
e that Felix has always wanted, right in front of him.
"You're worried about her? Don't be. You know perfectly well they're going to take her mind out of this body and just stick it in some other body. If she was smart she would have turned herself in. Would have gotten herself a big fat paycheck, a perfectly good body that people like us aren't hunting for. Hell, with the money she would have made for turning herself in she could have bought herself a new 9.1 body every ten years for a century, easy, just hopping from one to the next like those rich assholes do, living forever. That all could have been hers. What does she do instead? Runs around in disgusting, trash filled alleyways like the one we found her in. Probably hasn't eaten a real meal in a year. Probably wouldn't have survived more than a few more years before some other disgusting, back alley knifer stuck her for whatever miserable coins she has on her." Victor shrugs, "all I can say is thank god for stupid little things like her who are too afraid to do the common sense thing and cash in. Without them we'd be out of a job."
"You really believe that fairy tale they tell you, that they put people like me in another body? This whole city is a cesspool because they've hoarded every single resource and dollar for themselves and they leave us to rot, but they're so kind and compassionate that they'd give someone like me a body, for free?"
Victor scoffs, "of course they do, that's the incentive for turning yourself in. You bring yourself in quietly, without all this fuss, they reward you for it. You think they want to have to pay someone like me to go out and find you? Much cheaper for them if you come to them."
"My mother believed their lies. She turned herself in and she never came back. There is no new body. They just vacuum us out and we're dead. Tell yourself whatever you need to to sleep at night, but you're a murderer."
Victor is shaking his head before I'm done speaking. "Sorry to be the one to break this to you, but your mother left. If she looked anything like you she took her new body and her big fat paycheck and she figured it would stretch a lot further with one mouth to feed instead of two."