by Gina Wilkins
“I don’t want a relationship built for the wrong reasons,” she said quietly. “You love your son. Of course you do, even though you’ve only just found him. It’s completely natural for you to want to spend more time with him, to get to know him and have him get to know you. I appreciate that you haven’t tried to interfere with my plans, even though those are taking him so far away. That you’d be willing to walk away from your job to stay close to him. But I don’t want you mixing up your love for Simon with your feelings for me.”
Adam was on his feet now. “What the hell are you talking about?”
She held up both hands in an instinctive attempt to hold him off, though he’d made no attempt to move closer. “I know there’s attraction between us. I think it’s more than obvious I feel it, too. But I know myself too well to think that would be enough for me in the long run. I know you worry about commitments, Adam. I even understand why. I won’t ask you to make one to me for Simon’s sake. I’ll make sure you see him as often as you want, whether you move to Seattle or—” she swallowed before finishing “—or whether we need to figure out other arrangements.”
“Joanna.” He moved then, taking her hands in a grasp much gentler than his determined expression might have indicated. “You really think this is all about Simon?”
Feeling as though the lump in her throat just might strangle her, she had to swallow hard again. “I think it’s all tangled up together,” she whispered. “Understandably, of course.”
His brief laugh was not exactly amused. “For a fancy psychologist, you really don’t know everything I’m thinking.”
She sighed. “That’s hardly a shocking insight. I almost never know what you’re thinking.”
“Well, let me tell you, then. I’m not confusing my feelings with you for what I feel for my son. Yeah, I’m crazy about that boy. Have been from the start. Partly because he’s mine, but also because he’s one great kid. And I want to spend as much time with him as I can, do the things good fathers do with their sons, though God knows I’d have to learn that on the job since my own never taught me. But when I think about a future with him, it’s not complete unless you’re in it, too.”
Both his voice and his face softened when he murmured, “During the past three weeks, I missed you both so much I could hardly think straight. But it was you I saw everywhere I looked. Your face I saw when I closed my eyes.”
This, she thought dazedly. This was the answer to his question about what she wanted from him. What she needed so desperately from him. But did she really have the courage to let herself believe his seemingly impulsive declaration was real? Lasting?
It might tear her apart if she embraced a future with Adam only to have him walk away again. And after a lifetime of worrying about others, after five years and four months of fiercely protecting her son, she couldn’t remember ever being so afraid for herself.
“Adam—”
She wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but she was so wrapped up in the intensity of the moment that she jumped half a foot when his phone buzzed again, vibrating furiously on the wooden table, demanding his attention.
“Damn it!” he said explosively. Maybe he’d been almost as startled by the sound. He snatched it up.
“You should answer it,” she advised, secretly—or probably not-so-secretly—grateful for the respite. “If they’re calling this repeatedly, it could be important.”
“It had better be.” He lifted the phone to his ear and barked at it, “What?”
Joanna saw his face go suddenly still, maybe even a little pale. The change in his posture made her realize that he was getting very bad news, indeed.
“Where is he now?” she heard him ask, shaken. “Is he going to be okay?”
And then his tone became brusquely efficient. “Yeah. I’m on my way. Call Walt. And tell Phil and Jean to stand by. We’re going to need them. I’ll meet you at the hospital and we’ll take it from there. I’ll keep my phone on, so call me whenever anything crops up. Keep me updated, Tamar, will you? Anything you hear.”
“Tamar?” she asked when Adam lowered the phone. “Isn’t that Trevor’s assistant?”
He nodded, his expression stark. “Trev’s been in a motorcycle accident. It’s bad. He’s going into surgery now.”
“You have to go.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah. There are a ton of things that have to be seen to at the resort until Trev’s back at work.”
She noted he’d spoken those last words with a fierce certainty, as if he could will his friend to recover fully. She hoped he was right. She liked Trevor, and she knew how much he meant to Adam.
“I’ll help you gather your things,” she said, turning toward the bedroom. He’d brought in his overnight bag so he could shower while waiting for the pizza delivery. He’d left it open on the bed.
Adam followed her robotically, stepping into the bathroom to collect the few things he’d left there. She spotted one of his socks halfway across the room and his belt dangling off one side of the nightstand. Her cheeks warmed as she remembered the urgency that had sent both their clothes flying. She moved around the room, making sure she had everything before carrying it to the bag.
She heard his phone ring again, and she looked up anxiously. He came back into the room with the phone at his ear, and she could tell by what he said that the caller was Walt, and that there was nothing new to report.
Juggling the phone and a few toiletries, Adam reached for his duffel bag, cursing when he knocked it off the bed. Clothes and other supplies spilled across the floor. The clumsiness was so unlike him that Joanna knew it was a sign of how worried he was.
“I’ll call you from the road, Walt.” Adam put away the phone as Joanna bent to stuff his things back into the bag. “Thanks, JoJo. I should pay more attention to what I’m doing.”
She watched him stash the rest of his things in the bag and close the zipper. “I hope you’ll drive carefully,” she fretted. “It’s going to be the middle of the night by the time you get to the hospital, and you’ve already had a long drive today. You’re distracted by worry, and you’ll want to be on your phone. You can’t help Trevor if you’re stuck in another hospital somewhere.”
“I’ll use a headset and keep my hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road. I’ll be okay.”
She pushed a hand through her hair. “I was in mommy mode again, wasn’t I?”
He tried to smile as he leaned over to brush a kiss across her nose. “It’s okay. It’s nice to have someone care about my safety.”
“Of course I care.” She threw her arms around him and held him tightly. “Please call me when you get there, no matter what time it is. I hope Trevor is okay.”
He returned the embrace. “Yeah, me, too.”
She walked him to the door. He kissed her lingeringly, stood for a moment looking at her with hungry eyes, then stepped out of her house. “I’ll call you, JoJo.”
Her eyes pricked with tears as she closed the door behind him. She wasn’t sure exactly why she felt like crying. Maybe in sympathy for the fear he was obviously suffering from. Maybe in release from a day filled with surprises and emotional turmoil. Maybe because she’d miss him. And because she was still afraid to believe...
She put away the leftover pizza, stored the photo book in a safe place and straightened the rumbled sheets on her bed with trembling hands. Her thoughts were still with Adam. She worried about him driving so late and in such an anxious frame of mind. Should she have offered to go with him, to share the driving? Her parents and Maddie would’ve made sure Simon was well cared for in her absence. She had several things on her calendar for these last two weeks in Georgia, but maybe she shouldn’t have worried about those. Then again, she didn’t know what she’d have done when they arrived in South Carolina. She suspected Adam would be very busy with his job for t
he moment.
The job he’d offered to leave for her, she reminded herself, sinking to the side of the bed. For her and Simon.
He hadn’t said he loved her. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe he didn’t know if he did, in which case her concern about his headfirst dive into such a life-changing relationship was justified. And maybe it was too soon for either of them to be certain. And yet...
And yet she had no doubt. She was so in love with Adam Scott that she was dizzy. For her, the fairy tale was real. She’d fallen in love at first sight, just like in the stories. And then, after putting that early infatuation behind her and moving on with her life, she’d fallen in love all over again while spending time with him and their son. The only thing was, she wasn’t sure if her fairy tale would have a happy ending. Maybe she’d guarded her heart behind a prickly hedge, but Adam had barricaded his with solid armor. Was he really ready to take the risk of letting someone in? Could he take his armor down completely?
Staying up wouldn’t help her answer any of these questions, so Joanna figured she might as well go to bed. Her bare foot brushed against something soft on the floor. Looking down, she spotted a flat leather pouch sticking out from under the bed. It must have fallen when Adam dropped his duffel. Hoping it didn’t hold his driver’s license, she bent to pick it up.
A few moments later, she sat on the bed again, unsure of whether her knees would support her if she tried to rise. The tears she’d managed to hold off earlier cascaded down her cheeks as she gently traced the creases in the frayed photo of her own face. This wasn’t a new print. This had been packed away in his few possessions—in his favorite memories—for six years.
Returning the photo and Simon’s drawing to the pouch, she held it to her chest for a moment before setting it aside and drying her tears.
* * *
ADAM LOOKED AT the stack of contracts, to-do lists, memos and bills on the desk in front of him and took a deep breath before diving under. He was way behind in his work. And even farther behind in Trevor’s work, which he was doing his best to handle while the boss was getting back on his feet.
Three days after the wreck, everyone at Wind Shadow was doing their best to keep the resort running smoothly. They were successful for the most part. Still, Trevor’s absence was keenly noticed. In his easy, laid-back way, Trev managed to accomplish more in eight or ten hours than most people could get done in twenty-four. Adam was just trying to keep up his end until Trev returned, which would be in a couple days if it were up to Trevor, a good six weeks according to his doctors. Adam predicted reality would be somewhere in the middle.
Tamar tapped on the door. “Unless you need anything else tonight, Adam, I’ll head out.”
“No. Go get some rest, Tamar. You’ve put in long hours today.”
As loyal and dedicated as everyone else who worked for Trevor Farrell, she merely smiled. “You need some sleep, too. No offense, but you’re starting to look like ten miles of bad road.”
Chuckling, he rubbed a hand over his face. He likely did look a little rough. But he’d do his job and Trevor’s for as long as necessary. At least until he was sure both Trevor and Wind Shadow would get by without him. And then he had a new life of his own to start.
At least, he hoped he did. He’d spoken with Joanna a few times during the past three days, letting her know that Trevor would recover and that Adam would be tied up for a while in the meantime. He’d told her she should go ahead with the move as planned and he’d be out as soon as he was able. Because he’d been so busy and so much in demand here, the conversations with her had been brief. Unsatisfying. It hadn’t escaped his notice that she still hadn’t given him an answer about whether she actually wanted him to follow her to Seattle.
She wanted him, he reminded himself, scrubbing a hand again over his weary face. She couldn’t deny that. As he remembered, much to his tired body’s discomfort, she had practically ripped his clothes off that last time. After that—well, after that, neither of them had made any attempt to hold back.
But sex, no matter how good, wasn’t the ultimate goal with Joanna. As much as he found it hard to believe himself, he wanted more this time. A lot more. He wanted it all.
Maybe he’d call her tonight. After he’d waded through a few more stacks of paper. “New paperless society, my butt,” he muttered, drawing a pile toward him.
Hearing someone in the doorway, he asked without looking up, “Forget something, Tamar?”
“Tamar has gone home. You’ll have to settle for me.”
He looked up so fast he almost gave himself whiplash. “JoJo?”
Her smile was a little crooked when she came into the room. “I think Maddie’s impulsiveness may have finally rubbed off on me.”
He walked around the desk to meet her. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to see you. I think.”
She lifted her eyebrows in question. “You think you’re happy to see me?”
“Depends on why you’re here. What you’re here to say,” he said bluntly, crossing his arms.
He wanted to kiss her. Wanted to take her in his arms, bury his face in her hair and let her know just how much he’d missed her. Still. But first, he had to know...
“I see.” Still smiling a little, she nodded. “First—how is Trevor?”
“Busted up. Sore. Mad at the guy who ran a stoplight and hit his bike. Mad at himself for getting laid up when he has so many irons in the fire here. Mad at the doctors for not giving him a pill that’ll magically heal him and let him get back to work. Other than that, he’s doing as well as can be expected.”
“I’m glad. I know you were worried about him.”
“Yeah. I was.” The back of his neck felt tight, but he kept his arms crossed. “So, anyway, he’s going to be out of commission for a while. He’ll be able to make some decisions and stay involved with the big stuff while he recuperates, but the staff will need to pick up the slack while he’s gone.”
“Specifically, you.”
“Not just me. But yeah, I’m taking my share.”
“Probably more,” she murmured.
He let that go without comment. “Obviously, I can’t leave while Trevor’s down. Once he’s back, I’ll have to give adequate notice for him to hire someone to take my job. And for that matter, he’ll have to fill the resort manager job he offered me so he can concentrate on his new ventures.”
“Resort manager? Wow. Congratulations.”
He frowned, wondering what she meant by that. “Thanks, but you know I’m not planning to take the job, right?”
“You would be very good at it. You are very good at it.”
“But I don’t want it.”
“Of course you do. This is a great opportunity. You should be proud that Trevor thinks so much of you. With what this place means to him, he would never put anyone in charge who he didn’t trust completely.”
Adam’s right arm fell to his side. His left hand went to the back of his neck, fingers digging hard into the tense muscles. “Okay, fine. I’m getting the message. You think I should stay here rather than moving to Seattle. For my own sake,” he added, unable to keep a note of bitterness out of his voice.
“I do,” she said, and it ticked him off that she said it with a smile. “I think you should stay. And I think Simon and I should stay here with you. Well, maybe not here. You don’t actually have to live on the grounds, right? I know Trevor has a house in town. We should be able to do something like that.”
His left arm dropped. His hand hit the corner of the desk hard enough to hurt, which only proved he wasn’t dreaming. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’m talking about us, Adam,” she said, taking a step closer. Her palm cupped his cheek, soft against his evening-rough skin. “About starting fresh here with our son. Take the job Trevor offered you. I wouldn’t be su
rprised if you end up moving even higher in this resort empire he’s planning to build. I’m a licensed psychologist with a moderately impressive resume. I’m not worried about finding work. As for Simon—as long as he’s near water and with his parents, he’s going to be the happiest kid on earth.”
He caught her hand, wondering if she’d lost her mind, or he’d lost his. Maybe both. “You’re really offering to walk away from that job in Seattle? The one that will let you do exactly what you’ve always wanted? For me?”
“Well, you were willing to do the same for me, weren’t you?” She raised her other hand, framing his face. “You’re happy here, Adam. You’re needed here. This is your home.”
He was stunned to find his eyes burning. What the hell was that? He cleared his throat. “My home is where you are, JoJo. Where you and Simon are.”
She gazed up at him with eyes the color of liquid emerald. “I’m here.”
“You are.” He couldn’t wait any longer to kiss her. He took her mouth with more tenderness than he’d ever felt before, tamping down the passion until later. He pulled his mouth away only an inch to murmur roughly, “No one’s ever offered anything like this for me. Ever.”
Her arms around his waist, she smiled up at him. “Your life is about to change, pal. I hope you’re ready for it.”
“I’m ready. I’m scared spitless,” he added wryly, “but I’m ready. And I’ll give it everything I’ve got to make sure you never regret taking a chance on me.”
He kissed her again, more vigorously this time, then set her away from him.
“Okay, here’s the deal,” he said, straightening. “You go to Seattle. Get settled in, start that great new job. I’ll wrap things up here. It’s going to take a few weeks. Couple of months, maybe, and trust me, that’s going to feel like a year. We’ll talk every day, make plans. I have some contacts, guys I served with. I think a couple of them are out in that area. I’ll be making calls, pulling strings, finding a job I’ll like as much as this one. You don’t have to worry that I’ll be making some big sacrifice to come to you. Everything I want will be there.”