by Helen Cooper
“Do you even want him now knowing he’s been with skanky?”
“Would you still want TJ if you found out he’d been with skanky?” she asked poignantly.
“Maybe he has already,” I said, feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about it. “Do you think he has?”
“Honestly?” Sally asked as she gazed up at me.
“Yeah, honestly.”
“No.” She shook her head. “That skank only wishes that TJ would have slept with her.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah.” She sighed deeply. “He has standards, unlike your jerk of a brother.”
“He is a jerk.” I nodded. “Wait until I tell Nonno about what he did.”
“You’re going to tell, Nonno?” Sally said in surprise. “You talk to him about sex stuff?”
“It’s not my sex stuff.” I laughed. “And yes, I tell him everything. He’s my best friend, aside from you.”
“Do you want to call him now?” she asked, a dim smile on her face.
“You want me to?”
“I think we could both use some advice from him right now.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “That’s true.” I groaned. “Wait until he hears this.” I grabbed my phone from my pocket and pressed the buttons to call his number. I listened impatiently to his phone ringing and a smile burst out on my face as he answered. “Hey, Nonno.”
“How are you, Mi Cara?” he said softly. “Feeling better?”
“Kinda.” I sighed.
“What happened?” He sounded gruff. “Do I need to come to the lake?”
“No, you don’t have to come to the lake, but Sally and I need your advice.”
“Sally is with you?” His voice softened. He loved Sally. He thought she was a good best friend to me. He told me that I was lucky to have her as a best friend and that I should treasure her friendship. I tried to remember his advice when she made me mad.
“Yes, we need your advice, Nonno.” I pressed Speaker on the phone so that Sally could hear what he was saying as well.
“What has happened?” He sounded worried.
“Cody slept with that plastic girl I was telling you about.”
“The one who TJ took with him?” Nonno sounded confused.
“Yes.”
“I thought she was with TJ? Why would she sleep with Cody?”
“You tell us.” I sighed. “Sally is here, Nonno. She is heartbroken. What should she do?”
“Are there really any decisions to be made?” Nonno said softly and I knew what he was saying, but it was not something I wanted to say to Sally myself. How could I be the one to break her heart? How could I tell her that her hopes and dreams were wasted on my brother? He was the definition of a playboy. He was the sort of guy who I’d never be friends with if he weren’t in my family.
“Do you think he likes me, Nonno?” Sally asked, her voice weak as she spoke. I couldn’t look at her then. My normally confident friend was so worried and hopeful at the same time. I didn’t know what she expected Nonno to say. I didn’t know what I expected Nonno to say.
“Sally, my dear. Love is an emotion that is overpowering in its simplicity,” Nonno said softly. “Until the heart is ready to accept that someone else is in charge of their life and soul, one will never be ready to settle down.”
“So you’re saying Cody isn’t ready to accept love?” Sally said, sighing deeply.
“Cody isn’t ready to tie his shoelaces,” Nonno said lightly, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. I was pleased to see that Sally had started laughing as well.
“Nonno, I need your advice as well.” I groaned. “I told TJ that I was dating this guy called Troy.”
“Who is Troy?” he asked suspiciously.
“He doesn’t exist.” I paused. “But now he kinda does.”
“What do you mean, this man kinda exists now?”
“I told TJ I was dating this guy Troy and a ‘Troy’ showed up and pretended to be my boyfriend. And I thought Sally hired him to help me out, but she didn’t. And now I’m pretty sure it was TJ and I’m just so embarrassed. I don’t even know what to do.”
“I think you need to speak to TJ,” Nonno said in an amused tone.
“It’s not funny,” I wailed. “I need your advice. Should I say something to him or just pretend I don’t know what he did?”
“Mila, ignorance is never the answer,” Nonno said, and Sally nodded.
“I feel like an idiot. He’s going to think I’m a liar.”
“You did lie, Mi Cara.”
“Nonno,” I wailed again and gave Sally a look.
“Maybe you and Sally need to have a talk about what you really want and maybe you both need to talk to your young men and see if they want the same thing.”
“Yeah, that’s going to happen,” I said sarcastically. “Thanks, Nonno, I’ve got to go now.”
“Don’t be upset with me, dear. I’m just giving you the best advice that I can.”
“I know,” I said and sighed. “I love you, Nonno. I’ll call you when I get back.”
“I love you too,” he said and then I hung up and looked at Sally.
“So that wasn’t a big help,” I said as I flounced back on the bed next to her.
“Yeah, it was.” She looked at me, her eyes gazing into mine sorrowfully. “Cody’s not ready for love, and TJ is playing the same games you’re playing.”
“I’m not playing…” I stopped talking and made a face. “Okay, I’m playing games, but only because I’m scared to put myself out there. I don’t know what TJ wants.”
“You know he wants you.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “He’s obviously sexually attracted to you. He wants you.”
“Yeah, he wants some sex from me. Woohoo.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m sure you could hook up with Cody as well, if you wanted. I want him to want more from me than just sex.”
“So tell him that.”
“Are you joking?” I looked at her. “Would you tell Cody that?”
“Hell no.” Sally laughed slightly. “Fine. Don’t tell TJ you want his babies.”
“Yeah, or the fact that I’ve saved myself for him.”
“Yeah, or that fact.” She shook her head. “You’re crazy—you know that, right?”
“Yes.” I nodded and hugged myself. “But even if it doesn’t go anywhere with TJ, I still want him to be my first. I’m a romantic like that.”
“Uh huh,” Sally said. “TJ doesn’t look like the sort of guy who’s going to make love to you the first time you’re together.”
“Sally!” I blushed.
“What? She giggled. “He looks like he’s going to pound the shit out of you and have you begging for more.”
“Sally.” I shook my head at her as my body tingled.
“What?” She grinned. “He’ll be flipping you over, bending you over, having you touch the tips of your toes while he—”
Knock knock.
“Mila, you in there?” TJ’s deep voice interrupted Sally talking and we both froze. “Mila?” TJ knocked again and then opened the door. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked as he looked at us lying on the bed together.
“No.” I glared up at him, annoyed that he looked so handsome and so cocky at the same time. “What do you want?”
“To talk to you.” He winked at me. “Unless you’re otherwise engaged.”
“What do you want to talk about?” I sat up, feeling my heart racing. If he made some sort of sexual innuendo, I was going to scream.
“Stuff.” He shrugged, his eyes crinkling. “Can’t we just have a conversation together? We’re adults now. Friends, even. Can’t friends just talk?”
“Yes, they can,” Sally said, answering for me, and pushed me out of the bed. “Go and talk to the man, Mila. I want my bed to myself.”
“You sure?” I looked over at her. “You going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine.” She nodded, putting a brave face on.
“Okay.” I j
umped off of the bed and looked at TJ. “We can talk.” I walked towards him and he smiled at me gently.
“Good.” He stepped back into the hallway. “I’ll see you later, Sally.”
“See you guys,” she said and gave me a small smile and a wink before I headed out of the room.
***
“So, what did you want to talk about?” I crossed my arms and looked at TJ as we walked down the corridor.
“Not much,” he said, looking amused.
“Just come out with it, TJ. I know you hired Troy.”
“Troy—your boyfriend?” TJ looked shocked. “How could I hire your boyfriend? The man that you love?”
“You know I do not love Troy.” I glared at him as we walked into the living room.
“How am I supposed to know that?” He raised an eyebrow at me.
“Last night wouldn’t have happened,” I said, my face red.
“What happened last night that wouldn’t have happened?” he said with a grin, as he licked his lips.
“You know,” I said, staring at the tip of his tongue and remembering how it had felt the night before.
“I know what?” he said.
“You know.” I shook my head.
“Are you talking about how I made you come with my fingers when we were in the lake or how I made you come with my tongue when we were out of the lake?” he said with a huge grin as his green eyes sparkled.
“You’re a dog.”
“Not a pig?” he said. “Have I gone up in the world or come down?”
“Travis James Walker! What do you want? And why did you hire Troy?”
“I did it for you.” He smiled sweetly. “You said you wanted your Troy to be here this weekend and as I was pretty sure there wasn’t a real Troy, so I figured a different Troy would do.”
“You made me lie to you.”
“I made you lie to me?” His eyes crinkled. “Or you just continued on with your lie?”
“You’re twisting things.” I sighed. “I wasn’t intending to continue the lie.” I looked away from him, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"So let me ask you a question." TJ's voice was serious and I could feel my heart slowing as I gazed into his eyes. I wasn't used to a serious TJ.
"Sure," I said, trying to smile but failing.
"What do you think of me?" he asked, his eyes not leaving mine.
"What do you mean?" I frowned.
"What do you think of me?" he asked again. This time his lips looked thin and I wondered where he was going.
"Are you asking me if I think of you?" I asked, wondering if this was some sort of trick question.
"No, Mila." He let out a sigh and turned away from me. "Just forget it." I could hear the exhaustion and frustration in his voice, and I knew that I needed to think of his feelings more than my own pride and embarrassment. For some reason, this was really important to him.
"Wait," I said and grabbed his shoulder. "I'll tell you." I bit down on my lower lip and I could feel my stomach curdling. I had no idea what I was going to say to him. I had no idea how honest I was going to be with him.
"It's fine," he said as he turned to look at me. "It doesn't matter."
"It does matter," I said and searched his face. I knew that for some reason what I was about to say really mattered to him, but I just didn't understand why.
"Okay." His lips pursed and we stood there in silence, just looking at each other.
"So can I ask you one question before I say what I think of you?" I asked softly.
"I want to know what you think of me because I think that perhaps you're the only person in the world whose opinion matters to me," he said before I could even ask him the question.
"How did you know what I was going to say?" I blinked up at him.
"Because that's the same question that I would have asked." He gave me a half-smile. "And you know what, I'll answer that question for you. Mila. I think you are like the birds in the morning: chirpy, bright, colorful, full of life and wondrous. The birds remind us that we are alive, they make us happy, they sing their hearts out with nary a worry and they deliver us gifts of love and joy without asking for a thing back."
"You really think I'm like that?" I asked him with a laugh. "I don't know how many people think I'm delivering gifts of love and joy in the morning. I think Cody would beg to differ with you."
"Cody wouldn't know a gift of love if it hit him in the face." TJ grinned. "He's your brother. Most brothers don't see what the rest of the world sees in their sisters"
"Or their sisters’ best friends," I said and I felt a pang of pain for Sally. Cody had ripped her heart out and didn't even seem to care.
"Cody is a fool." TJ made a face. "I'm sorry for Sally."
"It's fine." I pursed my lips. "She deserves better than him. I’m sorry for you.”
“Why are you sorry for me?” He frowned.
“Because of Barbie?”
“Ha.” He shook his head. “Barbie was never mine and I never wanted her to be. She was my Troy.”
“She was your Troy?”
“Are you trying to make me forget the question I asked you?” TJ said with a small smile. “Do you want to go by the lake?”
“We can go by the lake.” I nodded. “But I wasn’t trying to change the subject.” I looked at him thoughtfully. I wasn’t sure why TJ wanted to know what I thought of him. I didn’t know why it was so important to him. His mood seemed different, more intense and less teasing. We walked outside and took the path to the lake and I listened to the birds whistling as I tried to think of what to say. I grabbed his sleeve to stop him before we got to the deck chairs and looked up into his face. “So, TJ Walker. You wanted to know what I think of you?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “I do.”
“I think you’re handsome,” I said with a smile, but instead of grinning back at me or making some smart quip, he just stared back at me intently. “I think you’re fun. I think you’re a good friend to Cody.” I paused, my heart racing as I wondered how honest to be with him. “I think you’re pretty sexy.” My voice almost sounded like a croak, I was so nervous.
“You think I’m sexy,” he said, finally smiling.
“Yeah,” I said and nodded, my face burning. “I think you’re a bit of a jerk, but underneath it all, you’re a really nice guy.”
“What if I’m not a really nice guy underneath it all?” He stepped closer to me. “What if I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing?”
“Are you?”
“What do you think?”
“I think you’re a good guy,” I said and swallowed hard as he grabbed my hands. “I think you’re the sort of guy I’d like to get to know better.”
“Even better than you got to know me last night?” he asked softly, his voice deep and gruff.
“Yes.” I nodded, staring up into his eyes.
“Show me, then.”
“Show you what?”
“That you want to get to know me better.”
“How?” I said, wondering what he expected me to do. He shrugged in response and we just stood here staring at each other. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to pull me into his arms. I wanted to feel his hands on my skin, his tongue on my tongue, his cock inside of me. I felt feverish as I stood there waiting for what he was going to do next. I could barely breathe, my anticipation was so high.
“Mila,” he said, my name a lullaby on his lips.
“Yes,” I breathed out, ready to say yes. Yes, TJ, I want you. Yes, TJ, you can take me. Yes, I will take my clothes off. Yes, I will let you make love to me. Yes, I will do anything you want me to do in this instant. Yes, yes, yes.
“I’m going to go inside now,” he said softly, and my heart sank. “I’m going to go inside, but tonight I’ll be waiting.”
“Waiting for what?” I breathed out.
“Waiting for you to show me exactly what you think of me and exactly what you want.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine for a few seco
nds and then stepped back. “The next step is all yours, Mila. The next step is all yours.”
***
I could hear every creek in the floorboards as I made my way to TJ’s room. The house was eerily quiet and I wondered if everyone was ready to leave the next day. I’d not really seen anyone else all day: only Sally and TJ earlier in the morning. Cody, Barbie and even Troy had all been inconspicuous. Not that I really cared. I hadn’t wanted to see any of them. Not Cody, not Barbie and definitely not Troy. I was worried that he really thought he had a chance with me now, and I didn’t want to have to explain that I’d only been flirting with him because TJ had been there. I mean, even I knew that that had been immature, and a part of me was worried that I’d gotten Troy’s hopes up. I didn’t want to be responsible for hurting anyone else’s feelings.
I stopped outside of TJ’s bedroom and my hand froze on his doorknob. I shivered slightly in my negligee as I debated going back to my room and forgetting about going through with my plan. I was about to turn back around and head back to my room when I thought of what TJ had said to me earlier, that the next step was mine. I knew he’d meant it as well. He wasn’t going to make another move unless I showed him I really wanted it. And I did want it. I mean, wasn’t that why I’d bought the negligee in the first place? Wasn’t that why I’d essentially been begging Cody for an advance? I didn’t really know what was going on with Cody and Barbie, I didn’t know what was going on with Troy, I didn’t know what TJ and Barbie were up to, and I also didn’t care. I’d been waiting too many years for this moment. I’d been wanting TJ to be mine for a long time. And even though, this was just a midnight clandestine affair, it didn’t mean that it wasn’t special, in some sort of way. Granted, it wasn’t the flowers and candy moonlight serenade I’d pictured in my dreams, but it was a start. All I really wanted was a start. I knocked on the door and then opened it quickly.
“I thought you were never going to come,” TJ said, his eyes alert as I walked into the room. He was sitting on top of his bed in a pair of long linen white pants and no shirt. His chest was tan and cut with a light sprinkling of hair across his pecs.
“You thought I wouldn’t?” I said with a coy smile as I closed the door behind me. He jumped off of the bed and walked towards me.