by B. L. Wilde
“I have fucking plenty!” he fumed, moving to get my attention again. “Didn’t the rock star tell you that I’ve been calling?”
“We’ve both been busy, David! The world doesn’t stop because you want to talk to me.” Taking me by surprise, he took my hand, pulling me into his chest.
“The world has stopped for me, Nat. I’ve finished with Sarah. I…”
“Is there a problem here?” Alex was almost growling as he interrupted David.
“No, I just wanted a quiet word with Nat.” David turned, taking my hand in his. Alex’s eyes narrowed. He looked anxious as David led me away from him. I didn’t know what to do, but let him lead me outside where he found a secluded spot for us to talk.
“What is all of this about?” I glared, folding my arms. He looked around, then taking me by surprise, pinned me against the wall and started kissing me passionately. Shit, I didn’t want this, did I? Why was I kissing him back? When my brain eventually caught up with what was happening, I pushed him away. “What the hell was that?”
“I’ve finished with Sarah.” What? “I want you back, Nat, and I don’t mean as my PA.” Holy fuck! “Say something, please.”
“David, I…I…” I didn’t know what to say.
“I was a fool. I’ve been so stupid. All this time you were right under my nose. These months without you, watching you with Alex…it’s been killing me. Please don’t tell me I’m too late. Come back to me. Please?” I shivered, looking around to find an escape route. I didn’t want to hear this at the moment. “Nat?”
“I can’t do this right now. I’m here with Alex.”
“Are the two of you…?” He swallowed hard, trying to finish, but I knew what he was trying to ask.
“No, but I’m working. You can’t keep doing this. You had four years to work out your feelings for me!”
“I didn’t know what you meant to me until you were gone.”
“I need to go, David. I can’t do this.”
“Please, don’t run, Nat. Think about what we could have together back in London.” He tried to grab my hand, but I pulled away and raced back into the party.
My eyes searched for Alex the moment I was back in the room. He was by the bar. As soon as his eyes found mine, he walked over to me.
“Is everything okay?” he asked in concern, touching my arm.
“Yes.” I forced a smile, but he knew I was lying.
“Come and dance with me.” I was so numb that I followed him without protesting. All I wanted was to be wrapped in his arms right now. That was the only place that made sense to me. “If you want him, Straight Lace, I’d understand,” he whispered in my ear, pulling me close. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I didn’t respond; I simply rested my head against his chest.
“I don’t think we can slow dance anymore, Nat. The songs are a little too upbeat.” I had no idea how long we’d been dancing. My head had been racing with thoughts. “Do you want to get out of here?”
“Is that okay?”
“Of course it is,” he sighed. I followed him outside to the limo. He handed me his jacket. I was putting it on when I heard my name being called. Ugh, could this night get any worse?
“You’re leaving with him?” David slurred. He was drunk. This was going to end in disaster. “Nat, didn’t you listen to me earlier?” He grabbed me by the shoulders. “Don’t go with him. Please.”
“Hey, fucker! Give her some damn space!” Alex yelled, pushing him back. David lost his balance and fell to the floor. Flashing lights came from behind me. Great, of course the paparazzi would be capturing all of this.
“You fucking asshole!” David seethed, standing back up and making a lunge for Alex. The two of them began to scrap, pushing and shoving each other. I did the only thing I could think of and called for help. Steve was close by and rushed over to defuse the situation. When they started to throw punches at each other, I stupidly tried to break it up and ended up being pushed to the ground by David. It stopped the fight, though. Alex rushed to my side, checking me over, while David crouched down, telling me how sorry he was over and over again.
“Just leave, fucker,” Alex yelled at David. “I’ve got her. I’ll take care of her!” Embarrassed at what he’d done, David walked away without another word.
“Can you stand?” Alex soothed, touching the side of my face.
“Yeah. I landed on my butt, though. It might be bruised.”
“I’ll give your butt a thorough inspection when we get home,” he joked, helping me to my feet.
“That’s very kind of you,” I giggled, getting into the limo. “At least we know what story will make the papers in the morning.” I was trying to be light-hearted after everything that had just happened.
“Now I know why you don’t do parties, Straight Lace. Chaos follows you everywhere.”
“I did warn you not to bring me as your date.”
“It was worth it.” Running his finger down my arm, his smile dropped. “What did David say to you outside? What does he want?”
“The usual. He wants me to go back and work for him.” I couldn’t face the truth right now. I needed to sleep on it.
“That’s it?” he frowned. “It looked like more to me.”
“You know how you don’t like talking about Steel Roses?” His eyes widened with understanding. “David isn’t an easy subject for me.”
“Okay, I get it. I’ll drop it.”
“I’m sorry you got into a fight because of me.”
“Don’t worry about it. That was hardly a fight. David punches like a girl.” He always made me giggle when I needed it.
We went to bed as soon as we got back. It looked like I didn’t have any marks from when I fell, which I was thankful for. Alex held me close that night. Part of me hoped it was because he was afraid of losing me. David had offered me everything I’d ever wanted six months ago, but all I wanted now was the beautiful, damaged rock star sleeping peacefully beside me. Would I ever catch a break and get what I wanted?
“Fuck, Nat,” Alex groaned, palming my breasts while I rode him. I had a rock star between my legs, and I was fucking him senseless. It had been a week since the award ceremony. I'd chosen to put the events to the back of my mind. It was easy to get distracted when Alex was around. “That’s it. Roll that sexy ass of yours.” Grabbing my butt, he began to meet me thrust for thrust. I cried out, feeling my orgasm approach. “Wait for me. I’m almost there.” With a few more thrusts, we both came, groaning out in pleasure.
“You need to think about getting up. Gina will be here in a few hours,” I sighed, moving off of him.
“I don’t get why she needs to fly out here to go over the media schedule for the album launch.”
“She wants to get everything right. It’s good to have a meeting with her and your publicists in the same room.”
“We need to talk about your birthday, too.” Ugh! I didn’t want to talk about that. I was turning thirty.
“That’s months away. Yours is first anyway. Two weeks, to be exact.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
“I’m not the one turning thirty. Mine is already planned anyway. Diego’s done it all.”
“Did you know it’s rude to talk about a woman’s age?”
“You have to celebrate it, Nat. Let me throw you a party. You can invite your friends from London.”
“I’ll think about it. You know I don’t do parties.”
“You’ve gotten better. I’m actually starting to think you enjoy them now.” Alex did make the parties more enjoyable. He was great company, and I wasn't just talking about the sex.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I snorted, moving to get up.
“Oh no you don’t. My cock hasn’t finished with you yet.” Giggling, I fell back down onto the mattress as Alex’s body covered me.
Walking out into the pool area later that morning, I groaned, noticing Maddison straddling Shane. It seemed the two of them were seeing each other. The whipped cream incident a few mon
ths back had actually been about Shane. I swear she was dating him just to be close to Alex, but I had a habit of being paranoid. We hardly spoke to each other. I kept telling Shane he could do better, but he was smitten with her.
“You’re here again, Maddison?” I gave her a sweet, fake smile as I walked passed. “I never had you down as the needy type.”
“I just want to be with my love muffin. What’s wrong with that?” Trying to hide my laughter at Shane’s nickname, I continued to walk to my office. I had so much to do today. At least Alex wouldn't distract me. With Gina flying over with his publicists, he'd be tied up all day. He walked in a few moments later in just his sweats, though.
“You have clean shirts, you know?” I glared up at him, teasing.
“I know, but I like watching you drool when I walk in.”
“Asshole,” I smirked. “What do you want? I’m kind of busy trying to get your calendar in order.”
“Nothing. I just wanted to come in and bug you.”
“GO!” I laughed, throwing a notebook at him. He gave me a dreamy smirk and left.
I was hardly interrupted the rest of the day. Mary came in with some lunch for me, telling me that I needed to eat. She was such a sweet woman. By the evening, I’d made progress, but still had a lot to do tomorrow. Alex was still in his meeting with Gina. They’d been in there for most of the day. I couldn’t see him getting out any time soon, either, so I decided to head to bed.
Wandering out onto the private balcony, my phone rang. Smiling down at the ID, I answered. “Hey, Mum.” I hadn’t spoken to my parents for over a month.
“Hey, Natty. How are you doing, Sweetheart?”
“I’m good. Alex is keeping me busy. How’s the cruise going?”
“It’s wonderful. Your father sends his love. He’s gone to play poker with a few friends on the ship, so I thought I’d give my bambino a call.”
“It’s nice to hear your voice,” I sighed, slumping down on one of the metal chairs.
“What is it, Natty? You sound troubled.” She could read me so well, even on the phone. We were so alike, which was the problem.
“Oh, Mum,” I breathed out, looking up at the night sky. I had so much on my shoulders right now. I needed someone to talk to. “I don’t know where to start.”
“I can guess. Your father and I saw the pictures from the award ceremony.” They were on a world cruise. How did they see them? “I was right about you and Alex Harbour, wasn’t I?”
“I’m in love with him, Mum.”
“Oh, Natty. You silly girl! What happened with David? Why were they fighting?”
“He’s left Sarah. He wants me to go back to him.” She gasped. “I haven’t told Alex any of this. David was drunk, and didn’t like that I was going home with Alex.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“You can’t pin your hopes on a rock star, Sweetheart. You need to really think about this.”
“You don’t know how I feel when I’m around him, Mum. He makes me feel alive. I’ve never felt a connection like it before. He makes my body sing when he touches me.”
“What about David?”
“I’ll have to let him down gently. It was only ever a fling. This means so much more. I can see that now.”
“It’s your life. You know what you’re doing. Please, just be careful. If he breaks your heart, I’ll kill him.”
“He’s not going to hurt me, Mum. I think he might love me, too. I need to stop running and fight for what I want.” I couldn’t help but beam at my words because I was so sure they might be true. Alex felt something for me, I was sure of it. It wasn’t just lust. There was definitely more there than that.
“Just be careful. I love you, Natty.”
“Love you too, Mum.” Her signal cut out, but the conversation was over so I didn’t try to call her back.
By the time I went to bed, Alex still hadn’t come up. I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face, though. I’d decided that on his birthday, I was going to tell him how I really felt. I was going to tell Alex Harbour that I was desperately in love with him. I’d need to drink a bottle of vodka for courage before I did that, though.
“Did you want any cereal?” I asked Alex at the breakfast bar a few days later. He’d seemed troubled since Gina’s visit. In fact, we’d hardly spoken, and I had no idea how to get him to open up.
“No thanks.” Without any explanation, he stood and walked off to his studio. Why did I feel as if I’d done something wrong? It wasn’t just that we weren’t really talking. He hadn’t touched me the last few days, either. It didn’t help matters that Diego was away visiting his friend in Rio. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I knew it was a stressful time for Alex with his album release. Maybe he just needed a little space to get his head clear.
“Is everything set for Alex’s party?” I asked Mary, helping her clear the dishes.
“I believe so,” she smiled warmly. “Alex seems stressed at the moment.”
“I know. I don’t know what to say or do.”
“Maybe he just needs someone to listen. Help share the load.” I looked toward his studio thoughtfully. Could I get him to open up to me? If he loved me, wouldn’t he do that? It was time to put my theory to the test.
“Hey,” I called, wandering into his studio. He was playing around on his mixer.
“What do you want?” His voice was so cold. I didn’t understand it.
“Alex, what the fuck is going on? Why are you being like this?” He didn’t turn to look at me. “I get that you're nervous about your album, but don’t push me away.”
“Push you away? That’s what you think I’m doing?”
“You can talk to me, you know. I’m here for you.” He laughed like it was a joke, and that hurt.
“You should go back to London, Straight Lace. There is no point in you being here anymore.” What? Where the hell did that come from?
“Why would you say that?” I gasped.
“Because it’s the truth. You don’t belong here. You’re all about organization and control. I’m all about chaos. You should go back to the suit. He’ll give you what you need.”
“Is that what you want?” Tears welled up in my eyes and I had to fight hard to keep them at bay. I didn’t want David; I wanted Alex!
“Yes. I’ve spoken to Gina. She’s happy for me to release you from your contract.”
“Y…you…you’ve spoken to Gina already?” This was all happening so quickly. When had he decided all of this?
“It’s for the best. You’re flying back after my birthday party. I didn’t want you to miss seeing Diego, and he’s not back until then.”
“Why did you decide all of this without me?”
“Because I could. I think we should go back to a business relationship as of now, too. It was only a fling, after all. I know you won’t have a problem with that.” He was crushing my heart with each word he spoke.
“If that’s what you want.” I didn’t understand any of this. A week ago, I had everything. I was so stupid for thinking I meant anything to him.
“Yes, it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.” Not wanting him to see me break, I left without a word.
Just like that, we were over.
Chapter Nineteen
When I was younger, I used to fantasize about being with celebrities because they couldn't hurt you. I’d always guarded my heart, and had let very few inside. Alex had been that make believe love when I’d been younger, and now it seemed ironic that he was the only man to destroy me completely. I’d never known heartbreak like it. It was as if my chest was constantly on fire, burning with all the grief that was inside my head.
Of course, I hadn’t let Alex see me that way. I was a strong woman. I could plaster on a fake smile and carry on like none of it mattered. I only had another week left in this hell anyway, then I’d be free. Free to get over him and move on. I never thought I’d hate Alex more when I l
eft than the first moment I saw him, but I did.
Liv was excited to learn that I was coming home. She decided to move into my apartment with me. I wouldn't have a job when I arrived back, so it would help with the bills. I knew I’d need my best friend more than ever when I got back to London, too.
“I can’t believe this is your last week,” Shane sighed, taking a seat on one of the couches in my office. “Are you sure you can’t stay?”
“I’m missing London. This job was only ever going to be a temporary thing.”
“But you’re like family here now. Alex was so much easier to live with since you arrived. Now he’s gone all moody again. It sucks.”
“I doubt that had anything do with me. I made his life hell most of the time.” Alex had decided this, but Shane was right. He’d been moping around the mansion like a sulky teenager all week. It didn’t make sense, but the asshole wouldn’t talk to me.
“You had an effect on him, Nat. Everyone could see that.” He laughed, looking out toward the pool area where Maddison was sunbathing.
“Are things serious between you and Maddison?”
“I don’t know. She’s…”
“An idiot?” I grinned, finishing his sentence. “You could do so much better, Shane. Make sure she isn’t using you just to stay close to Alex. I have a feeling she’s a gold digger.”
“You really don’t like her, do you?”
“How can you tell?” I sniggered, following Shane’s gaze out to the pool as Alex came into view. I noticed a whiskey bottle in his hand as he walked over to sit on the edge of Maddison’s sun lounger.
“You better go and save your girl. Alex looks like he’s in predator mode,” I commented. If Alex was trying to piss me off, it was working!
“For fucks sake!” Shane groaned, getting up. “He thinks he can have anyone he wants!” He stormed off, but I didn’t watch the confrontation that I knew was about to happen.
My office gave me a good place to hide for the last two weeks. My parents were very happy with my decision. I hadn’t told them the truth, though, that it was Alex who told me to leave. It wouldn’t make a difference, anyway.