“I don’t think so. Maybe we just have that kind of face.” His grandparents look at each other, shaking their heads.
Suddenly the room grows louder as Beckett and Harlow arrive, then Richard and Nicole walk through the door, and our attention is pulled to them.
Toby calls them over and introduces them to his mother and grandparents.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Charlie
I WALK THROUGH the door amidst the loud prattle. I look around. Carson is standing talking to Harlow with his back to the door so he doesn’t see me enter. Toby and Raven walk over to me. Raven pulls me into a big hug. “How are you doing? Have you and Carson been doing okay?”
I get a big smile on my face. “Yes, we’re doing great.” I look at Raven, I know Zain and I are moving fast, but I love him, I never stopped loving him, but I want to know that Raven thinks it’s okay. “We’ve had a lot of time to talk and clear the air about the past, but, you know …” my voice starts to crack as tears start to burn the backs of my eyes.
Raven takes my hand in hers and says, “I know, but a part of Braydon will always be in here.” Raven touches my heart. “He wouldn’t want you to be alone. You are young and you should be enjoying your life.”
“Thank you for coming, Charlie. Raven is right, you need to start living again and Braydon would want that. If it was just the opposite, would you want him to just exist or would you want him to find love again?”
“I know, you guys are right, and I am working on it.”
“Would you like to meet my mom and grandparents?”
“I would love to. Give me a second, I’ll be right back,” I say as I wipe a tear from my eye. I leave for the restroom.
I start to walk back into the room. Everyone is sitting down as I look to find Zain, and then my eyes land on two people that I never thought I would see again. Two people that I knew didn’t like me, but why are they here? My eyes dart to Raven’s, and I feel all the blood leave my face and I can’t breathe. I start to see stars as a whisper escapes my lips. “Braydon?”
Then everything is black.
I feel something cold on my face and hushed voices around me. It’s Zain and Raven. I slowly open my eyes as tears roll down my temples.
“Charlie, what is it? Are you sick? What’s wrong?” Raven asks.
“Charlie, drink this.” Carson and Toby help me sit up, and Toby holds the glass of water to my lips. I take a sip. “Are you okay?” Toby asks with concern in his voice.
Raven looks at Toby. She knows what it is. She looks at the table and then back to me. “Do you want to leave, Charlie?”
“No, I’ll be fine.” I look at Toby. “I’m sorry T, I didn’t mean to wreck your family gathering.”
“You haven’t wrecked anything, Charlie; you’re the life of the party.”
A slight smile breaks across my face. Carson and Toby help me stand while Raven pulls out my chair. I pick up my cup of tea with both hands. I can’t believe how badly I am shaking, so bad Raven takes it from me.
“Take a deep breath.” Raven replicates what she is telling me to do. “Now out through your mouth. Once again, in through your nose, hold it, out through your mouth. Are you feeling better?”
“Yes, thank you, just a little foolish.”
Raven looks at Toby then at his family. “You’re Braydon’s parents and sister. I remember now. That’s why you looked so familiar.”
The whole room is quiet. You could hear the proverbial pin drop, it was so quiet.
“Oh my God,” Toby says, “it just clicked.”
“What?” Raven looks at Toby.
“She knows that is why your grandmother kept calling Jaxon my nephew and that I had lost someone in Braydon too.”
Thomas looks from his wife to Toby, then to Raven and me. “Yes, we were Braydon’s parents.”
“So what is happening here?” Toby asks. “Why all the tension? What happened between all of you?”
“It’s a long story,” Thomas says.
“Well, that’s all I have had all day today. You might be blood, but these people that are sitting at this table with me are my family. So whatever happened, I need to know, because if it affects my family it affects me too.”
I quietly speak. “Braydon and I were engaged and they didn’t approve of me or my lifestyle.”
“Your lifestyle or your job?” Toby asks.
“They didn’t like how I made my living and they didn’t like the way I looked,” I whisper. I look over to Thomas and Denise.
“Did you even know her before you made a judgment about her?” Toby says in a calm voice. “I know that is easy to do. I myself did the same thing.” Toby looks over at me as a tear runs down my face.
I can’t believe he is saying these things to his grandparents.
“I’m sorry, Charlie. Before I ever knew you I did the same thing. Please forgive me,” Toby says. Toby looks at Raven, then at his grandparents. “We all have flaws on the outside, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Anyone can make themselves beautiful on the outside with a little makeup, but if you’re ugly on the inside, no amount of makeup will make you beautiful. Charlie is lucky, she is beautiful on both the inside and the out. Yes, she likes tattoos, and although I don’t care for them, she does. That doesn’t change who she is on the inside. It’s obvious that Braydon loved her. He knew her, and they had been together for several years. Why is there still so much hostility?”
“She was pregnant, we felt she was trying to trap him. Subsequently, when he died, she got rid of it.”
“Why would you think that?” Raven asks.
“We heard you at the funeral. The two of you were talking and said that now that he was gone, you could get rid of it so it would stop wrecking your body.”
Toby looks at Raven and she looks at me. I can’t hold it in any longer, and I lose it out of nowhere. Raven and I begin to laugh. I get up and excuse myself from the table.
I walk back through the door holding Jaxon, his curly dark brown hair and the greenest eyes, outlined with lush dark brown lashes.
“We were talking about his weight set. Braydon always lifted weights and left them all over the room. We were always tripping over them, causing bruises, and we couldn’t work if we had huge bruises on our bodies. We needed to work since Braydon was gone and I was going to be the only one working for a while.”
Toby’s grandparents gasp.
“I would like to introduce you to your grandson, Braydon Jaxon Modell.” I walk over to Thomas and hand him Jaxon. “I loved Braydon with all my heart. He was my life and I miss him every day. But I am thankful that he gave me Jaxon. It was looking at this little man’s face that kept me going in my dark times and he’s my angel.”
“He’s beautiful, Charlie. You have obviously done a good job with him,” Denise says.
“Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, I know you didn’t approve of me for your son. I hope that you won’t hold that against me as I raise his son.”
“Charlie, I know this is rather late in the coming, but we are truly sorry for … stereotyping. I won’t make any excuses, I’m just sorry we didn’t get to know you before. But we would like to get to know you now and help you with Jaxon if that is all right with you.” Thomas passes a squirmy Jaxon to Denise, as she smiles and coos at him.
“I would love that,” I say.
“So are we going to eat or what?” Toby says loudly, and our server comes in to take our orders.
It was a great ending to what could have been a complicated situation. Zain leans over and kisses my temple. “You are amazing.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You definitely took the upper road in that situation.”
“I know that I don’t look like the typical mother figure and I know how easy it is to stereotype. I’m not the kind of person that would keep Jaxon away from his father’s parents. I want Jaxon to know about his father. I can only tell him so much. They have a wealth of information about Braydon; i
t would be selfish of me to keep that from him.”
“That is why I love you so much. You overlook the bad in most people.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Zain
THE WEEK has flown by, with Toby’s family gathering on Monday and working with Trent all week, it hasn’t given me a lot of time to think. I wonder if everything is going to go as I hope for this weekend. This isn’t just for Char this weekend; this is for all my friends.
I send out an email which reads:
“It’s been asked of me what are we celebrating. And my answer to that question is this: We’re celebrating life, love, friends, and family. Because without all of you, there would be several of us that wouldn’t be here today.”
Raven has been trying to get information out of me all week, but I have tried to keep my distance from her when the subject comes up.
Within a short period of time, everyone has RSVP’d. I’ve had Claire help me out a lot too. I don’t know what I would do without her. Everything has been ordered and delivered, and Claire is making sure everything is set up. Now all I have to do is stay calm.
I call Char and ask her out on a date. I had already arranged with Katie ahead of time just so Katie will be there tomorrow too. Char said she would call me back after she talks to Katie.
Char calls me back about fifteen minutes later and accepts my date request. “And guess what?”
“What?” I already know what she is going to say.
“Katie said she would watch him overnight and that she wanted to take him to the park tomorrow afternoon. Guess what that means?”
“We get to sleep in, in the morning!” I say, just to see what she would do.
“Well, if that’s the only imagination you can come up with …”
“Oh, I have some ideas. Make sure you have something warm to bring with you.”
“Are you going to tell me what we are doing?”
“Nope.”
“That’s it? Nope.”
“Yep.”
I hear Char laughing on the other end of the phone. “What should I wear?”
“You can wear whatever you would like, just as long as you have something warm to wear for later.”
“Later?”
“Yes, Later.”
“You’re not giving very much away.”
“No, I’m not.”
I hear her giggling on the other end of the line.
“I also have plans for tomorrow now too.”
“I suppose you’re not going to tell me those either.”
“Tomorrow you can go casual.”
“Thanks, that really helps.”
“You’re welcome. I will be home in about an hour to pick you up.”
“Okay, bad boy.”
“Well, after that, maybe I will change my plans to stay at home.”
“Well, at least I know I will get lucky if we stay at home.”
“Oh, is that all you want?”
“I guess you will have to wait and see when you get here.”
“Well, we will see about that then. I’ll see you in a bit. I love you, Char.”
“I love you too, Zain.”
On my way home, I stop and pick up a chub of wood and kindling. I figure I will see how Char is dressed to see if I will dress up or not.
I walk through the front door and I’m attacked by a beautiful brunette with next to nothing on. I pick her up and carry her to our room. I lay her in the middle of the bed, devouring her with my eyes. I slowly remove my clothes piece by piece, but never removing my gaze from her eyes. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? Have I ever told you how precious you are to me? Have I ever told you that because of you, I can see colors again? Have I ever told you that because of you, I feel like I am finally alive?” She lies on the bed biting her bottom lip as her chin quivers and tears start to run down her temples. “Char, I love you and want us to be together. You are my lifeline to everything. I want to make love to you forever, and that still wouldn’t be long enough. Thank you for what you have brought back into my life.”
I crawl over to her and kiss her tears away. I look at her body. She has a little teddy on. This is the first time she has ever worn something like this and I like it. It’s all green lace, which brings out the green in her eyes. It has a V neck that ends almost at her belly button. I outline the inner edge of the lace from her neck to the bottom of the V and back up again. I rub my thumbs over her nipples through the lace and they stand up and harden. I take my index finger and slowly pull the lace from on top of her nipple exposing it. I lean down and take it in my mouth, playing with the bar that is pierced diagonally through her nipple, pulling and sucking it as little mewls escape from her lips. Then I switch, repeating the process with the other nipple.
I move up to her ear and whisper how beautiful she is and nibble her lobe. Then my lips find hers, and our lips slowly move together and passion starts to take over. Our tongues collide in an obsession to taste every area of her mouth. Our tongues are no longer polite, but instead they are fucking each other in a crazed moment of manic lust.
I pull the thin piece of fabric to the side of her hot wet pussy and rub my cock against her clit, making her writhe with want. I thrust into her as she lets out a load moan. She grabs my head, pulling my face closer to hers as desire builds in us. She then grabs my ass, pulling me deeper into her, until I am hitting her core and she is screaming out in ecstasy. Her pussy is pulling me deeper, milking me as it pulsates around my cock.
“Oh, fuuuck, Char. Oh God, oh fuuuck, oh yes, yes. Oh God, yes,” and I explode with the most intense orgasm I have ever had. I have goosebumps all over my body, there are bright flashes of light in my vision, and I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. I look down at Char and tears are flowing down her cheeks. “Oh shit, Char! Did I hurt you?”
She can’t speak, she just shakes her head. I wipe her tears away and look into her eyes. “Baby, why are you crying?”
“Oh Zain, I never thought I could be happy like this again. What you said to me before we made love, which is everything you have done for me. I finally feel alive again. I never thought I would feel like this again. You make me want to be a better person.”
I pull out and lie on my side next to Char.
“Char …”
“I know, I went to the doctor today.”
“And?”
“I had an IUD put in. It’s good for ten years.”
“But what if we want a family sooner?”
“Then it can come out, but there are no hormones, no crazy mood swings, and no remembering pills, shots, or condoms.” She bumps into me.
“Because whenever I’m around you I can’t think.”
“I feel the same way with you. That’s why I thought this would be best.”
“Can I ask you something?” I ask.
“Of course.”
“Can I ask you about your tattoos?”
“Sure, if I can ask you about yours.”
“Tell me about them.”
“Well, I have music notes behind my ear for when I was in the band. I also have the bass clef on my inner wrists, but I had the one on my right arm covered because the guy that did them didn’t do that great of a job. Then I found my tattoo artist and I don’t go to anyone but him. He did all the other tattoos that I have.”
“Tell me about the anchor and the saying.”
“When I left Tennessee, I didn’t know how I was going to make it. I loved you so much, you centered me, and you were my calm in the storm of all the shit that was going on there. You were my anchor, and I was ‘anchored to love.’”
“But you had that put on after you came back.”
“Yes I did, but that doesn’t mean that you weren’t still my anchor. Zain, I never stopped loving you, and when I left my body to see Braydon after Jaxon was born, he told me that you were my soul mate. He told me that he was just there to help me through everything and to protect me. He’s the owl on my left arm, always lookin
g out for me. The girl on my right arm is me, searching for what I want in my life for love. The wings on my back are for me being free to soar and to be free from everything that has ever weighed me down.”
“And the skull candy on your chest?”
She laughs. “That is just art, my skin is the canvas, and when John draws a new piece of art, he asks me if I want to wear it. The cat and the ‘Meow’ is because I like cats. So what about yours? I think if most people saw you, they wouldn’t know you even have any. I think that’s why it surprised me so much, that and the nipple piercings. You have a new tattoo. It’s another phoenix.”
“Yes, I got it this week.”
“Why? What is the meaning behind it for you?”
“Do you know the meaning behind the phoenix?”
“I know I’ve heard it, but I don’t remember it all.”
“The phoenix meaning deals with rebirth, growth, life, longevity, and so many attributes that are more awesome.”
“Oh?”
“Legends of the phoenix vary according to historical era and cultural origin, but there are common themes woven throughout all the stories. The phoenix is a mythological bird that recycles its own life. When it perceives its impending death, the phoenix ignites itself into a magnificent fire. In time, it reemerges from its own ashes … reborn, renewed, and very much alive.”
I run my finger up her left arm as we lie facing each other in bed. Outlining her owl tattoo on her arm.
“In Chinese wisdom, the phoenix is commonly seen in twos, a male, and a female. However, it’s not just gender identification. Two phoenixes together represent yin and yang. Now we’re talking about symbolic themes of balance, duality, and polarity. The female meaning of the phoenix deals with yin energy. Yin phoenix is passive, intuitive, moon, winter. Conversely, the yang (male) phoenix is iconic of assertion, action, sun, summer. As a whole, a dynamic phoenix duo is an emblem of divine, immortal partnership. In fact, a display of two phoenixes was commonly extended as a wedding gift. It was said to be an auspicious gift, ensuring a happily-ever-after marriage.”
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