His ghosts continued chasing him about, even now. Her heart ached for him. How she wished he would unburden himself to her completely, for she sensed he still withheld his deepest pain from her. He tucked it away in a box in his mind, but like old letters from someone loved and lost, it remained, a haunting reminder.
“It doesn’t have to be fleeting,” she pointed out, “if we but strive to make it last.”
He caressed her cheek, his gaze hot upon hers. “Spoken like the romantic heart you are. I reckon I ought to be grateful for your sweet disposition, or else you would never have chased this jaded old hide of mine down.”
“I’m certain I didn’t precisely chase you, as if I were a hound and you a hare. I seem to recall you seeking me out in the gardens at Wilton House.” Bella smiled, feeling a surge of love for him all over again. She traced a light path around his sensual mouth with the tip of her finger. “Perhaps you are jaded, but hardly old.”
“Old enough,” he countered. “Christ, I honestly never thought I’d be a married man.”
She raised a brow. “Regrets already, Mr. Whitney?”
“Not a single one, Mrs. Whitney.” He groaned, lowering his head to press his forehead against hers. “I wanted to go slowly this evening, but you make it difficult indeed.”
The temptation proved too strong. She couldn’t resist closing the distance between their mouths for a kiss. He angled his lips over hers, quickly taking control. Bella ceded to him, her arms going around his neck, opening beneath the onslaught of his claiming kiss. She’d quite forgotten how delicious it was to be in his arms. His hands slid down the curve of her back to cup her bottom, pressing her intimately to him until she could feel his hardness against her. An answering ache pulsed between her thighs. She wanted him with a ferocity that almost frightened her. Nothing in her life had ever been so real and consuming, and she knew instinctively that now that they were joined forever, nothing ever would match the way he made her feel.
He tore his lips from hers to kiss down her neck, his hot breath and mouth sending another stab of desire directly to her core. She moaned, tipping her head back to allow him better access. He kissed and sucked his way down to the hollow of her neck before gently scraping the stubble of his whiskers back over the sensitive skin. Bella moaned, clutching at his shoulders and writhing against him. His mouth upon her was sweet, sweet torture. She never wanted it to end.
One of his hands came between them to cup her breast. He pulled away to gaze down at her body, his blue eyes utterly searing as they homed in on their initials. His fingers lingered over the letters she’d stitched, tracing them. “Did you do this for me, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice gruff with emotion.
“Yes,” she managed to say past her madly beating heart. “I’ve never been terribly adept at needlework, but I thought perhaps you’d like it.”
“I love it.” He rubbed over her responsive nipple, working it into a hard peak. “I’m honored to be your husband.”
She gasped as he caught her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, giving it a delightful pinch. “I’m honored to be your wife,” she returned, her breath nearly a pant now. He was working her into a fine frenzy indeed.
“But as lovely as your nightdress is, I want you naked, darling.”
His pronouncement made another stab of desire pierce through her. He was looking at her as if he could consume her with his stare alone. Though she hadn’t thought it possible, the passion between them was even more heightened, more powerful than it had been before. Her entire body felt as if it were aflame. She was hungry for more, for the ultimate consummation she knew was to come, and yet she never wanted the night to give way to morning. Bella took the skirt of her slip in her hands and began to drag it up over her body until he stopped her, his hands catching hers.
“Allow me,” he said, turning her so that he was presented with her back and the small row of shell buttons there. Ever so gently, he pushed the heavy curls of her hair aside, allowing them to trail down over her shoulder. He kissed the nape of her neck.
She shuddered, closing her eyes as she gave in to his slow seduction. Her buttons began slipping from their moorings. He kissed her throat, the shell of her ear, then lower, creating a trail of heat over the skin he revealed.
“Tonight, I’m going to worship you, Bella,” he said lowly, his tongue flicking out to taste the smooth plane between her shoulders.
She sighed, an answering blossom of warmth spreading in her belly and lower, to the apex of her thighs. The anticipation he was building within her rivaled the heady pleasure of each touch, kiss and lick. His idea of worship was wicked and wonderful, and she loved every moment of it.
Her nightdress continued gaping, cool evening air caressing her back as her husband’s mouth worked a delicious path in its wake. “Jesse,” she protested, his name almost a whisper. “You’re making me mad with this torment.”
“Torment?” He opened another button, pressing a moist kiss to her lower back. “Whatever do you mean?”
He was being coy, the rotten man, enjoying the crescendo he was working her into. How unfair for him to be the only one doling out his breathtaking brand of lovemaking. With a surge of confidence, she spun about. He was crouched, a sinful smile on his lips, utterly still as he awaited her move in their chess game. She couldn’t help but to run her fingers through his hair, loving its silken strands. She had never loved him more than she did in that moment, he on his knees before her. Her very own husband.
Bella shrugged, allowing her nightdress to fall down to her waist. She took her hands from his hair to remove her arms from the capped sleeves. Jesse sucked in a breath, his glittering gaze upon her naked breasts. Her nipples tightened under his scrutiny. She knew a feeling of womanly power she’d never before experienced. It was time for him to be at her mercy. With a smile, she tugged the garment down over her hips until it fell to the floor.
“Do I meet with your approval?” she asked innocently.
“Christ yes,” he said on a groan, rising to his feet and surging toward her.
She stopped him with a staying hand on his chest. “No you don’t. It’s my turn now.” Her fingers went to the knot in his dressing gown, giving it a hearty tug until it came undone. She slid her palms up over his bare chest, loving the heat and strength of him, until she reached his shoulders. He was magnificent, her warrior come to conquer her. From the looks of him, he was barely reining himself in. Licking her lips, she trailed her right hand down over his sculpted chest and taut abdomen to where his cock proudly jutted. She took him in her hand.
His breath escaped from his lungs. “Bella, damn you, if you keep this up, I won’t last longer than five minutes.”
Bella was well pleased by the effect she had upon him. “I don’t understand,” she murmured, feigning artlessness. “What do you mean, Jesse?” She squeezed and began a rhythm upon his thick shaft that mimicked their lovemaking.
He gritted his teeth. “If you want me to come inside your hand rather than inside you, you’re doing a brilliant job of it.”
“Not in my hand.” She hadn’t realized she possessed such a depraved side, but she did. For there was nothing that was going to stop her from making him as wild as he did her this night. “But perhaps in my mouth.”
With that, she dropped to her knees and took his cock deep into her mouth. She didn’t know what she was doing, merely that he had done as much for her and given her immense pleasure. Now she wished to do the same for him. She heard him moan and felt his hands sink into her hair, resting lightly on her head. Acting on impulse, she sucked and was rewarded with another groan. Her entire body came alive to his cues, listening for his increased breath, his groans, feeling the way his hips thrust into her. She used her mouth the same as she had her hand, moving up and down the length of his increasingly rigid manhood.
“Enough,” he bit out, gripping her arms and raising her to her feet once more. His expression was slack with passion, his eyes glazed. “Where the hell did you learn t
hat?”
“From you,” she admitted, feeling slightly shy. She hoped she hadn’t mistaken his body’s response to what she’d done, for she had certainly enjoyed every moment of it. “I wanted to worship you as well.”
“I’m the most fortunate man on this earth,” he breathed, pulling her against him. “I truly don’t deserve you.”
“Nonsense,” she denied. “We are neither of us without our flaws, but together we become better than we ever could be apart.”
He kissed her then, melding their mouths in a powerful kiss that gave as much as it claimed. She matched his ardor, opening her mouth, her tongue mating with his. Her hands went to his shoulders and pushed the dressing gown off him until he was as fully nude as she. It landed at their feet along with her discarded nightdress. Jesse startled her by catching her up in his arms, their kiss still somehow continuing. She threw her arms around his neck for purchase, running her tongue along his as their kiss went on. She wanted him so desperately now she almost couldn’t bear it.
He laid her upon the bed with great care before joining her. Jesse lowered his body over hers, kissing her again and then turning his attention to her throbbing breasts. He bent down to suck a nipple into his hot mouth, alternating between sucks and light abrasion with his teeth. Bella arched into him as his fingers slipped between their bodies. He rubbed her tender button, working it quickly and with just enough pressure to have her pumping into him, a moan escaping her lips.
“Do you like this, sweetheart?” he asked, glancing up at her. He pushed a finger inside her, probing her readiness.
“Ah,” was all she could manage.
“I’m afraid that’s not a response.” He took her other nipple in his mouth, laving it with his tongue, tugging with his teeth.
“Mmm,” she said next, nearly delirious with pleasure.
He sank another finger into her already wet and pulsing passage. The sight of him pleasuring her body was enough to make her come undone. As he worked the nub of her sex with his thumb, she shattered. Her desire reached body-racking limits before breaking over her like the waves on the beach during a bitter storm.
“I reckon you do like this, if your reaction is anything to judge by,” he murmured, his voice a sinful, velvety drawl.
And then he replaced his fingers with his cock, thrusting into her. There was no pain this time, only the wonderfully new sensation of a different sort of pleasure entirely. She wrapped her limbs around his waist, bucking up against him in an effort to feel him deeper inside her body. He groaned and claimed her lips with another mind-hazing kiss. He pumped deeply and quickly into her, his pace just fast enough to make her body feel as if it were about to melt and just slow enough to bring her near to the point of climax without pushing her over the edge.
“Please,” she whispered, moving in time with him.
“Please what, my love?” He rested his forehead against hers as he thrust into her again and again.
She moaned, completely overwhelmed by the intensity of their passion. “I don’t know,” she moaned. In truth, her overwhelmed mind was no longer capable of ordinary thinking. Waves of pleasure ricocheted through her, from her breasts as they grazed his chest, to her core as he claimed her in the most primal way a man could. She was mindless, intoxicated by desire. There was nothing but Jesse, over her, inside her, his scent in her nostrils, his taste on her lips, his muscled shoulders beneath her questing fingertips.
She still couldn’t believe he was hers. She couldn’t believe they were finally making love as husband and wife, or that her body was capable of such awe-inspiring sensations. Blessed angels’ sakes, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to move or speak again.
“I’m going to fill you with my seed,” he told her. “Do you want that, Bella?”
An answering surge of yearning went through her. “Yes.” She wanted nothing more than for him to find his fulfillment as she had done. The mere thought had her tightening on his thrusting shaft until she too climaxed again, welcoming the molten spurt of his seed into her body.
He rocked into her, his head back, eyes closed in pleasure until the aftermath of their lovemaking finally left him and he rolled to his side, taking her with him. Feeling as if she were trapped inside a dream, she pressed her head against his beloved chest, listening to the rapid thrumming of his heart.
How she loved him. Dear God, how she loved this man.
An indeterminate amount of time trickled by, neither one of them able to speak after the life-changing experience of their first union as husband and wife.
“Jesse,” she murmured into the peaceful quiet of their contented breathing.
He kissed her head. “Yes, sweetheart?”
She thought of how he’d left her in the middle of the night at Wilton House. “Stay with me? Please? I know it’s silly, but I don’t want to be alone.”
He was silent, stroking her hair. “Of course,” he said. “Sleep well, Bella.”
“I love you,” she said on a pleased sigh. She nestled into his comforting warmth and drifted off into an easy slumber.
Jesse waited until his wife’s breathing was even and steady enough to indicate she’d fallen asleep. While their joining had been wondrous, the cold truth of reality was once more prodding him like a carbine pressed straight to his head. He’d wanted to tell her about the alarming frequency of his nightmares. After all, she already knew he suffered some old war devils, having witnessed them at Wilton House. But they had changed. The night he’d awoke to holes punched in his bedchamber walls rose strong in his mind, an ugly reminder. He couldn’t bear to unwittingly do Bella bodily harm. He’d sworn to protect her for the rest of her life, and he’d meant those vows.
He wouldn’t be sleeping in her chamber, not this night or any other. Nor would he be sleeping in the adjoining chamber as he’d done before their marriage. He’d had a chamber arranged down the hall for his use. It was the only way to protect her. He would be too far away to stumble back to her in the grips of his madness, and too far away, he hoped, for her to hear him crying out.
Gradually, he eased away from her embrace and stood from the bed. In the shadows, he could faintly detect the lines of her beautiful form. She slept on her side, hair spun over the pillow like finest silk. Yes, he’d wanted to confide in her when he’d first entered her chamber. But then, he’d seen her looking so innocent and trusting, gazing upon him with such unadulterated love in her eyes, and he’d turned complete coward. He didn’t want to see pity in her eyes.
He’d been afraid she would insist on putting herself in danger anyway, or that, even worse, she would look upon him with fear. He didn’t want his own wife to be afraid of him. He strode across the chamber, snatching up his dressing gown from the floor and stabbing his arms into the sleeves. Damn his nighttime demons to hell. Why, after all these years, did the war have to choose now to return from its grave, trying to pull him back into its fiery depths?
He tied the belt at his waist with more force than was necessary. Maybe it had been seeing Lavinia, or the shock of learning he had a daughter. Perhaps it had been caused by his return to Virginia, a land steeped in memories as visceral as they were vicious. He didn’t know. But what he did know was that he’d do anything to keep Bella safe from him. With one last look back at his sleeping wife, he quietly took his leave of the room.
ella woke some time after she’d first fallen asleep, staring into the unfamiliar darkness of her new chamber. For a few breaths, she thought she was in her old bed at Marleigh Manor until she recalled the whirlwind of the day. She was Jesse’s wife, in name as well as deed. Bella smiled and stretched, reaching for her husband.
And felt only bed linen instead.
She was once again alone. Jesse had left her to return to his own chamber, despite her having asked him to stay. Her smile dissipated instantly into a frown. She fumbled about in the murk to light a gas lamp. It sputtered to life, bathing her chamber in a soft glow. There was no Jesse to be found. Even his dressing
gown was gone. The sole evidence of their lovemaking was her nightdress, still lying crumpled and alone upon the carpet. Indeed, looking upon the room now, she’d swear Jesse had never even been there with her.
Worry gnawed at her. Why would he have left? Was something amiss? She threw back the bedclothes and rose from the bed, seeking out her robe. A growing alarm settled like a rock in her stomach. With shaking hands, she donned it and crept toward the door joining their chambers. She almost felt as if she were intruding, which was silly because Jesse was her husband.
It was silly, wasn’t it?
She hesitated, her hand on the knob, uncertain of how to proceed. She’d only been a wife for one day, after all, and the recommendations she’d received from the dowager for conducting herself in her marriage had been wholly unhelpful. Her mother had yet to accept Jesse as her son-in-law, and Bella wasn’t certain if she ever would. But that didn’t affect her current predicament.
Concern won out, and she opened the door, crossing the threshold. Jesse’s chamber too was shrouded in darkness. She peered inside, having difficulty seeing. She hovered at the perimeter of the room, listening for his breathing in the silence. She heard nothing.
“Jesse?” she called, quietly at first, and then with greater insistence. “Jesse?”
No answer. Her fears mounting, she crossed the chamber, taking care to avoid furniture as best she could. It was almost as if Jesse wasn’t there. Surely he wasn’t that sound a sleeper?
“Jesse?” Her hands fluttered about in the darkness until they met at last with a lamp. She lit it, effectively dispersing the inkiness of the night.
The reason for his lack of response was at last revealed before her. His bed was empty, carefully dressed and tucked with nary a wrinkle upon it. To her, it seemed as if he’d never even been inside the large high tester at all. He had disappeared yet again, leaving her no inkling as to where he’d gone. Her heart weighed down as heavily as ever, she doused the lamp and returned to her chamber, at a complete loss. She had no recourse to find him, save waking the servants and causing a great deal of gossip belowstairs.
Rebel Love (Heart's Temptation Book 2) Page 24