Between Marriage and Merger

by Karen Booth

  “Can’t let all this champagne go to waste.”

  “We could pour it out before we leave.”

  Lily took a sip. The effervescent sweetness was delightful on her lips and tongue. It was quite frankly the first blip of pleasure she’d had in the last several hours. Being around Noah was killing her. “We are not pouring this out. It’s way too good. In fact, I’m pouring you a glass right now.” She didn’t bother to wait for his response. Maybe it would loosen him up a little bit.

  “Fair enough.” He took a sip and nodded. “Okay. You’re right. It’s delicious. We should drink every drop.”

  “That’s the spirit.” Lily felt so much better. This was the Noah she adored. If he was going to make her crazy, at least he could be a little more fun about it. Still, his strange attitude yesterday and that morning was eating at her. “Can I ask you a question? Did I do something to make you mad? You haven’t been yourself at all since we got here. We’re in paradise, but you don’t seem like you’re having any fun.”

  He took another sip and stared down at his shoes, his hair slumping forward. “I’m stressed about the Hannafort deal. I feel like so much of it rests on our shoulders and it doesn’t really seem fair. It also doesn’t seem right. He wants to do business with us because he thinks I’m the sort of guy who wants to get married. How messed up is that?”

  “It’s very messed up, but it’s his call. So we go with it. But the part I don’t understand is that you said we were in this together. It doesn’t feel like that anymore. You’re avoiding me and it’s really starting to hurt my feelings.” It felt so much better to get that off her chest. Even if Noah told her she was overreacting, at least she’d said her piece. “If there’s something else going on, please tell me.”

  He downed the last of his champagne and bunched his lips together. He was clearly deep in thought. “It’s hard to be around you sometimes, Lily. You’re a very beautiful woman. I like you a lot. But you’re also extremely important to our company. Sawyer would have my head if I touched you. And quite frankly, I’d be more than a little disappointed in myself. So, yeah. There have been a few moments in the last twenty-four hours that were more than I’d bargained on.”

  Lily wasn’t sure she was still breathing anymore. Her brain was sucking up all the oxygen her body needed. That wasn’t quite the response she’d been expecting. “Wow.”

  He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

  Lily reached out and grasped his hand. Touching his skin felt as though she’d completed a circuit and electricity was now free to zip back and forth between their bodies. “No. Noah. I’m glad you said something. I’m just taking it all in. I was starting to wonder if you found me unattractive.”

  “No. Quite the opposite.”

  Heat rose in her cheeks. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m just as frustrated. You’re way too hot to be fake engaged to.”

  He laughed, and unleashed his megawatt smile. “You’re funny.”

  She would’ve done anything to kiss him right then and there, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop if she started something. “Not really what I was going for, but thanks.”

  Noah’s phone beeped with a text, pulling them both out of the moment. He fished his cell from his pocket. “It’s Charlotte. She and Michael are saving us seats. We should probably go.”

  Lily slugged down the last of her champagne, jammed the cork back into the bottle and put it in the fridge. “No matter what, you and I are sharing the rest of that bottle later tonight. Out on the beach.”

  The surprise on Noah’s face was priceless. She should catch him off guard more often. “Yes, ma’am.”

  They held hands during the short walk to the ceremony, which was in the garden on the far side of the pool area. White chairs were set up in orderly rows with sprays of tropical flowers hanging from the back of each seat. A satin runner ran up the aisle between the two sections, nearly filled with guests, and at the very end sat a beautiful bamboo archway covered in orchids and lilies with a waterfall behind as the crowning touch. It was a gorgeous sight, picture-perfect, and everything a bride could ever want. Lily decided to start pricing everything out in her head, to keep her mind from wandering to bad memories. She’d planned her own wedding right down to the guest favors and the fondant icing. She knew exactly how much all of this cost or at least she knew the ballpark. Lyle and Marcy Hannafort were sparing no expense.

  Noah and Lily found Charlotte and Michael. “Where are Sawyer and Kendall?” Noah asked.

  “Kendall hasn’t been feeling well since dinner last night. I don’t know if they’re even going to make it for the ceremony.”

  “I hope everything’s okay,” Lily said.

  “I think so. She said the baby is kicking like crazy and Mr. Hannafort had a doctor friend check on her this morning. They’re making sure she gets lots of fluids and some rest,” Charlotte said.

  Noah grumbled and crossed his legs.

  “Everything okay?” Lily muttered into his ear, taking her chance to inhale his cologne.

  “Yeah. It just irks me when Sawyer doesn’t let me know what’s going on. I hate that Kendall is sick and I didn’t know anything about it. What if it’s something serious?”

  There was the evidence of how close the three siblings were and just how easily they could set each other off. Lily took his hand and laced her fingers in with his. “It’s okay. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it. And maybe it was a guy thing. You know, like he didn’t want you to see how upset he was. It’s probably easier for him to be vulnerable with Charlotte.”

  Noah looked at her and smiled softly. “Yeah. You might be right. Thank you.”

  “Anytime.”

  The music started and the groom and his groomsmen took their places up near the archway. The minister stood at center stage, hands folded in front of him. Lily tried to ignore the way it felt to hear the strains of Pachelbel’s Canon in D. Like a zillion other brides, she’d chosen this song for her own wedding as a prelude to her big moment. She’d stood at the back of the church and listened to it, a little bit nervous, a little excited, a whole lot of ready to get her show on the road.

  Today, every note grated. They picked at the memory of standing in the back of the church and having her cousin run out and proclaim that there was no groom. Peter had not come into the church with his groomsmen. This exact music had sent Lily scrambling to find him. Later, she would find out from the church organist that he’d played it seven times before Lily made her way into the chapel and announced to everyone that there would be no wedding that day.

  The music changed to Wagner’s “Bridal Chorus” and the guests all stood. When Lily turned and looked at Annie Hannafort on her father’s arm, her heart plummeted to her stomach. Annie was wearing almost the exact same dress Lily had worn on her day from hell. Matte satin in winter white, strapless, empire waist with a full tulle skirt. Lily watched in shock and awe as they marched past. Noah put his hand on Lily’s shoulder and she panicked for his fingers, squeezing them as the tears began to stream down her face. She closed her eyes, willing herself to keep it together. Her broken engagement was in the past. It didn’t hurt anymore. The trouble was Annie Hannafort was living her dream day right now. And it made Lily want to run away.

  Lily forced her eyes open and faced the altar. Annie had joined her husband-to-be and Lyle had taken his place with Marcy. Everything was as it should be. But Lily felt queasy. And uneasy. Why couldn’t they have been invited to a Hannafort funeral? At this point, it would’ve been better. As the guests all sat, Lily sucked in a deep breath, trying to ward off persistent images threatening to make her cry again. Her father’s anger with Peter over dumping his baby girl and causing him to waste a pile of money. Her mother’s face as she tried to be brave for Lily, all while she was obviously crumbling on the inside. The worst was her grandmother, who ha
d never seen such a spectacle in all her life. She passed away two months later. It had been the last time Lily ever saw her.

  “You okay?” Noah whispered into her ear.

  She could only nod, looking straight ahead. She didn’t want Noah to see how badly this hurt. Let him think she was the girl who choked up at weddings.

  He then did something for which Lily was ill equipped. He put his arm around her and pulled her close. He stroked her arm with the backs of his fingers. He leaned closer and kissed her on the temple. “It’s a wedding, Lil. It’s okay to cry if you want to.”

  A small smile broke through her tears. What would she do without sweet Noah right now? Sweet, sexy Noah was going to make her lose her mind by the time they left Florida and their fake engagement was over. “I’m fine.” She trained her vision straight ahead.

  The minister spoke his first words. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.”

  Lily choked back the tears. She didn’t want to think about how much she had once hoped to be standing up there listening to those words.

  * * *

  Two hours later, Lily was doing much better, but it was all because of Noah. She pushed the remaining bites of wedding cake—vanilla layers with a sublime mango mousse filling—around her plate. She didn’t care about food right now. Noah was too entertaining, a few yards away, crouching down and letting two of the flower girls put a flower crown on his head. He stood straighter and the girls giggled, then took his hand, and they turned in a circle in time to the music. Noah was being so charming and adorable right now, it hardly seemed fair.

  Lily eyed him as he returned the crown and said goodbye to the little girls, making his way back to her. He was a vision to be sure—all long limbs and swagger. The smile on his face showed nothing but complete relaxation, a glorious change from the previous twenty-four hours. Lily was sure that every single woman at this wedding was jealous of her engagement to him. She hardly cared that it was all a charade. She could count the number of times she’d been in such an enviable position on one hand.

  Still standing, Noah reached for his glass of wine and took a long drink, looking down at Lily while he did it.

  “Thirsty?” She was unable to disguise the flirtation in her voice. Between enduring the buildup of the last two years, and the sheer exhaustion from keeping her hands off him over the past two days, she wanted him more than she ever had. Logic said that they might as well give in to it while in a setting where it was called for, but as Lily had learned, their arrangement made little sense. Soon they would head back to their room where the kissing and hand-holding would be cast aside in favor of their chaste and platonic real-life dynamic.

  “Dancing with flower girls is exhausting.”

  “I bet. Probably all tuckered out, huh?”

  He crinkled his forehead in that adorable Noah way. “Doesn’t matter. I have yet to take my fiancée out on the dance floor for a spin. That needs to be rectified right away.”

  His fiancée. If only.

  Noah held out his hand. He even winked at her, but Lily reminded herself this was all about appearances. This wasn’t about wanting to dance with her. It was because Lyle and Marcy Hannafort were out on the dance floor. Noah and Lily needed to finish selling the idea of the two of them as a couple. It was yet another instance where these odd circumstances at least afforded Lily the fulfillment of a fantasy. Dancing with Noah, being in his arms, was one thing Lily had dreamed about more than once.

  She slipped her hand into his and he quickly wrapped the comforting warmth of his fingers around hers. She rose to standing and he held his hand at the small of her back as they walked out to the dance floor. It was like stepping into another world, where white lights twinkled, soft breezes blew and romance was unavoidable. There was no tension, only happiness and celebration of love all around them. Noah pulled her into his arms and tugged her closer. Her breath left her lips in a rush. An arrogant off-kilter smile crossed his lips. If Lily could’ve done anything, it would’ve been to trap the magic of that moment in a box and keep it forever.

  Marcy glanced over at them and smiled. Lily returned the expression, watching Marcy with Lyle. They were in love. You could see it in the way they clung to each other, the way they gazed into each other’s eyes.

  “What are you looking at?” Noah didn’t look to see what had her attention. He remained focused on her.

  “The Hannaforts. They’re so in love.”

  “How could you possibly know that?”

  “I can tell by looking at them. You can feel it.”

  “Whatever you’re seeing is probably just as much of an act as we are.”

  The statement hurt. She hated the pessimism in his voice, made even worse by the reminder of their arrangement. “How can you can say that with such conviction?”

  “I’ve seen my dad look at lots of women the way Lyle looks at Marcy. Trust me. It doesn’t last.”

  “My parents look at each other like that and they’re still in love. Happily married for nearly thirty years.” She didn’t like the pleading nature of her voice, but if she believed in anything, she did believe that some people found true love.

  “I don’t even see how it’s possible to keep a spark for that long. It has to die out. Then what do you have to look forward to?”

  Lily shook her head. “That’s the excuse every affirmed bachelor uses. You don’t have to rationalize your life choices. There’s nothing wrong with being single. Look at me. I’m single, too. And I’m basically happy being that way.”

  “Why is that, exactly?” His eyes swept across her face. “Or more precisely how is that, exactly?”

  “I don’t understand the question.”

  “Well, you clearly believe in love and romance. You got all choked up at the wedding today. And at Charlotte’s wedding. So why wouldn’t you find some guy and jump in feetfirst?”

  If only he knew it wasn’t as simple as that. She wasn’t about to tell him now. “Maybe the right guy never came along.”

  “Ah, the elusive right guy. The guy who doesn’t worry about things like the spark dying out. He doesn’t date dozens of women. Am I right?”

  “The guy who was in that tabloid video is the wrong guy.” She hoped that he would draw the logical conclusion from that. He wasn’t like the Noah in the video. Not really. She refused to believe this story he kept telling himself about how he wasn’t capable of more.

  “So you watched it.” His entire body tensed.

  “I did. Yesterday morning.”

  “And now you know I’m a total ass.”

  She shook her head. “I’ve never thought that about you, ever. The guy in that video skims the surface. He doesn’t care about anything deep or meaningful. I don’t believe you’re that guy. I know you’re capable of more.”

  He scanned her face, but it was difficult to gauge his reaction. Was he upset? It didn’t seem that way. “What makes you think that?”

  “I see how much you care about your job. I see how close you are to Sawyer and Charlotte. It really made you mad that Sawyer didn’t tell you Kendall wasn’t feeling well. Anyone who cares that deeply about anything is capable of love and commitment. I’m thinking that in your case it comes down to you not wanting to be like your dad.”

  His lips molded into a thin line. “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “It always is. Emotions are tricky. You’re not the only one who struggles with them, Noah. That’s part of why I worry about what we’re doing.”

  “Our arrangement?” he whispered.

  There was so little reward in the admission she wanted to make, but at least it would be off her chest. Tomorrow, they’d fly back to New York and she could disguise her embarrassment for a few months and it would hopefully fade away. “Walking around holding hands and kissing all the time, I can feel m
yself getting attached to you. And I know I’m not what you want.”

  A low groan left his throat, and even though the song changed, Noah kept them moving on the dance floor. “Why would you say that? Why would you ever say that?” There was an angry and restless edge to his voice.

  “And why are you acting so frustrated?” Lily looked up into Noah’s face. His eyes darkened.

  “Frustrated doesn’t begin to cover it.”

  “Is it something I did or said?”

  “It’s not your fault. You’re being honest. You’re just being you. Which has been the source of my frustration over the last few days.”

  It felt as though Lily’s breath had been stolen from her chest. Her mind raced, especially through the last few hours. “I don’t understand. I’ve done everything you wanted me to do.”

  He looked away for a moment, surveying the crowd on the dance floor, then returned his attention to her. His gaze put her on notice, but as to what she was supposed to glean from it, she had no idea. He pulled her closer. The arm he had around her waist was tight. If she’d done something wrong, and this was what she got as punishment, she hoped he would tell her so she could keep doing it. He lowered his head. He was coming in for a kiss. Was this another part of their charade? Or was there something more? Here they were in this romantic setting, swaying on the dance floor at an extravagant wedding. If ever there was a time to kiss one’s fake fiancée, this was it.

  Lily tilted her chin up, making her lips into as seductive a pucker as she could. She closed her eyes and locked her knees—every time he kissed her, it was a challenge to remain standing.

  The next thing she knew, Noah’s lips were at her ear. “It’s this. It’s impossible to be around you and not want more. I thought I could make it through this trip without admitting it, but I can’t.”

  Lily’s pulse was pounding in her throat. She opened her eyes and looked at him, hoping for clarification. Was this the inevitable move that Charlotte had warned her of? Or was this something different? “More?” Lily had spent a whole lot of time wanting not only Noah’s kiss, but the more part, as well. She had to be sure of what he was saying.