Paulo laughed.
“The thing is…if you loved him just a bit less, you could be selfish. It was like me and Seamus. If I’d loved him just a little bit less I could have said, ‘Sell the damn farm, and move back to America.’ But I didn’t. I loved him just enough that I wanted him to be happy, more than I wanted to be happy. I think you might be like that.”
“Right.”
That made it sound selfless, but Paulo wasn’t feeling selfless. He was feeling like a shit human being.
“We did it!” Seamus’s voice boomed over the cacophony of drunken singers. Suddenly Dee was visible above everyone’s heads as she was hoisted into the air. She held up a fistful of money, and she was beaming.
“I’m never playing darts against your girl.”
“Good idea,” Chancey said. “Wouldn’t do pool either. Or barrels. Or roping. And don’t do a dance-off.”
“She dances?”
“Yep.” Chancey nodded. “Hey, Marie?”
“What?” She was on him in a second.
“Can you play some music?”
“What? You don’t like the singing?” She grinned as she said this. As fun as it was to listen to drunk people sing, especially out of tune, out of pace, and often dropping lyrics, a bit of real music might hit the spot.
“Hey! You lot!” Marie shouted to the pub at large. “What do you want to hear?”
There were shouts of various music, most of it seasonal, but it was Seamus, with Dee high on his shoulders, that made the final decision. “The Irish Rover!”
“D’ya have it?” Seamus asked.
“Do I have it?” Marie scoffed, and Seamus got swatted with the towel for his trouble. “’Course I have it.”
The first strains of “The Irish Rover” started up and Dee swayed on Seamus’s back, her legs tight around his waist.
“Be careful up there,” Seamus warned. “I may be built to carry your weight, but I’m not as steady on my legs tonight for some reason.”
“Pssh! Is ‘some reason’ seven hundred Guinnesses?” Dee demanded and continued to sway to the music. Paulo saw it happen, the moment when Seamus moved forward and Dee swayed her weight in the other direction. He stumbled, simple as that, and she went tumbling backward. Paulo caught her before she could crash into the floor.
“She’s all right,” Paulo assured Chancey, thinking he might be worried she’d conked her head. But no.
“She did that on purpose,” Chancey offered. “So you’d catch her.”
Dee batted her eyes and grinned up at Paulo, slipping from his arms and back onto her feet.
“You didn’t,” he accused.
She shrugged. “It isn’t sanctioned for events, but I ride bronc. Seamus is a long way from riding bronc!”
Dee didn’t notice, because she was turned toward him, but Seamus’s face burst into hot color at her comment, and even Chancey’s ears went a little red.
“You want to dance?” Dee asked cheerfully, grabbing Paulo’s hand. Even though she’d put the lilt of a question mark in her voice, there was no question about it. They were going to dance.
Paulo caught sight of Aidan and Patrick emerging from the restroom just as Dee swung him around. Those boys definitely looked like they’d had fun.
<<< >>>
“I’m going to drive,” Dee declared brightly, charging ahead toward Seamus’s pickup truck.
“Like hell you will,” Chancey said, trying to make a grab for his wayward daughter and stumbling drunkenly. Seamus caught him, but they were both unstable and went down together. Paddy found this hilarious and almost dropped Aidan, who he was half-carrying to the car.
Dee turned and put her hands on her hips.
“Well, I’m the only one who’s sober enough.”
She had them all there.
“And you’re also the only one without a driver’s license…in any country, darlin’.” Chancey swiped dirt off the knees of his jeans as he stood.
“I can drive,” Paulo offered after a moment’s consideration. He’d only nursed the Moscow Mule… and Harp lager shandies, whatever those were. Thoughts of Harrison had played in his head over and over all night, leaving him too sober for his own good. He wished in some ways he was as drunk as the others. They ranged from whistling-drunk (Seamus) to sleeping-drunk (Aidan).
Dee unhooked the tailgate and smacked the metal with the palm of her hand.
“All right, you louts. Pile in.”
“Are you gonna let wee Dee boss us around like this, Chance?” Patrick asked, hitching Aidan’s slumped form up higher.
“As long as she’s not drivin’.”
If he’d known them all better, he’d have taken a photo. Four grown men, piling into the back of the pickup, arms and legs all a-tangle, grumbled complaints, and Seamus’s cry that the damn truck bed must have shrunk.
“Keys?” Paulo asked.
Dee flashed him a wicked smile before producing them. “I’ve got ’em. C’mon.”
Wordlessly, she climbed into the driver’s seat. He could see her, in the soft glow of the cab’s light, flick her head toward the passenger seat.
So this was how it was going to be.
He could cater to the young teenager and get in her good graces. She was wily. It might earn him a favor. What he’d do with a favor from Dee, he didn’t quite know, unless somehow she could help with Harrison? Maybe he was more buzzed than he thought.
“You guys settled?” Paulo asked as he slowly shut the tailgate. Patrick made things difficult, kicking it every time he tried to latch the thing.
“We’re good,” Chancey murmured. His head was in Seamus’s lap and his eyes were closed. Seamus was the only one of them sitting up high enough to see Dee had taken the wheel.
He and Paulo exchanged a look, and Shay shrugged.
“She’s had some good practice on the farm,” Seamus offered.
“Huh?” Chancey grumbled.
“Nothin’, love. Go to sleep.”
Paulo took the passenger seat and looked over at Dee. She glanced back at him, her cheeks a bit pink, her brow knitted. Probably worried he was going to tell her to move her ass. Instead he said, “Try not to kill us, all right?”
She beamed at him. “I won’t. You just sit back, relax, and think about how you’re gonna win your man.”
Chapter Fifteen:
Sneaking Under the Tree
Harrison awoke suddenly in the unfamiliar room. He fought against tangled feelings of disorientation. Where was he? What time was it? He felt heavy and sad like something had happened, but his head was too foggy to recall. The bed creaked as he put his feet on the floor.
Ireland.
The Williams family.
Paulo.
He heard Pru’s snore somewhere nearby. He knew it from the years they’d spent bunking together for one reason or another. She had the most distinctive little whistle of a snore. It was cute—though she’d deny vehemently to anyone that she made noise when she was asleep. He’d recorded it for her once, and she’d turned her nose up.
You faked that, was all she’d said.
Harrison took a deep breath, wondering what had awoken him. He waited but didn’t hear anything.
He couldn’t remember falling asleep, only that he’d had trouble shutting his brain off. At some point, Pru had brought him something to drink. Water? Maybe. Then he was out.
A quick trip to the bathroom to relieve his bladder and splash water on his face helped a little. His heart was so tired he could have slept for an age. Well, not really slept, just taken a vacation from reality.
Harrison silently padded down the stairs, intent on getting a glass of milk.
He was at the landing when he heard a soft whirring and a slightly louder giggle. There were voices—quiet murmurs coming from nearby. Raising an eyebrow, he followed the noise first to the kitchen and then, finding nothing there, into the living room. The Christmas tree lights illuminated the figure sitting on the floor and cast a multicolored glow
on his face.
“Michael,” Harrison whispered. “What time is it?
Michael held a black controller in his lap and sent a remote-controlled car zooming around in circles. He looked up with mischief on his face. “Dunno. Gone four, maybe?”
“Have you been to sleep?”
“A bit.”
“Who were you talking to?” He was certain he’d heard two voices.
“Me.”
Harrison nearly leapt out of his skin with fright. He rounded on the small sofa and saw Paulo sitting there.
“Oh, I…” All he could think to say was what the hell are you doing in here?
“Mike’s gotten into the presents.” Lord help Harrison, but Paulo’s smile was beautiful.
“It’s tradition,” Michael explained.
“But no one’s awake, Mike.”
He laughed. “Me and Dad, when he was still alive, we used to sneak pressies together before Mum got up. And then we’d have to wrap them again so she wouldn’t know. But she always worked it out, because we were piss-poor wrappers.” Glancing away from Paulo for a second, he caught Michael’s face as he recounted the memory— watched the transition of bemusement to sadness to amusement. “I still am. I got something for Tom, and I think I might just leave it in the bag so I won’t have to wrap it.”
The remote-controlled car stopped suddenly, reversed, and pivoted as if it were in an action movie and not just underneath the Christmas tree.
“He’s damn good at this,” Paulo said. “It’s pretty entertaining. He gave me a go, but I crashed it hopelessly.”
“Did you?” Harrison whispered, his attention drawn fully back to Paulo, who seemed so at ease. None of the animosity remained, just quiet humor.
“Sit down,” Paulo offered, patting the seat beside him. Harrison nodded and stepped over the toy car as it zoomed past. The love seat was definitely…intimate.
“So why’d you open Dee’s present?” Harrison asked quietly.
Michael looked up, surprised.
“Well, it’s not Dee’s, is it?” he said, winking. “It’s mine.” He really did exert precision control over the car.
“I was reading this book I found. Um.” Even in the glow of the Christmas lights, Harrison could see the red in his cheeks. “Well, it’s a gay romance, so it is. And one of the main characters gets this awesome remote-controlled car, right?”
“Right.”
“I was telling Seamus about it.”
“The book?”
“The book and the car, aye. And then I accidentally saw the box when he brought it home. I swear I didn’t mean to! But I wasn’t sleeping well anyway, so I thought, Mike, it’s what Dad would have wanted. Got to sneak into that box for him!”
Harrison smiled gently at the lovely tradition. His own father had been far too serious, even when Harrison was a child. They never would have snuck around together, getting into trouble.
“So why are you awake, Paulo?” Harrison asked.
“I came to apologize to Michael for being a colossal ass. He was kind enough to make up with me, and then this was too entertaining, I didn’t think I could go back to sleep.”
Harrison’s heart absolutely melted. He’d apologized to Michael? Not in a big showy way where Harrison would have seen and “known” he was working on his anger, but quietly and in private.
Michael laughed, “You did have the totally wrong idea about us, mate. Though you two make a nice pair.”
Harrison flushed and impulsively reached out his pinky, brushing it against the side of Paulo’s hand. The only indication that Paulo felt it was the twitch of his lips.
“Why didn’t you tell me your boyfriend was coming?” Then, quietly, he said, “Well, I guess we weren’t talking there for a while, so…”
Harrison’s heart clenched.
“I’m sorry,” he said without hesitation. “I’m so sorry, Michael. I didn’t mean to abandon our friendship. Especially when you needed me. I just…”
“You want a go?” Michael asked, standing up and stretching. For a minute his belly button peeked out from underneath his shirt, and then he dropped his arms. He handed over the controller. “I figured it was something important, y’know. And I’m not mad. I was just worried for you, so I was.”
Harrison fumbled with the controls, the car starting and stopping like a teenager just learning to drive.
“I had to give testimony in a trial,” he said slowly. It was Christmas Day, and he didn’t want Ashmore with them in front of the tree. Suddenly Paulo’s hand was on his. A gentle squeeze to assure him he was there. “My panic attacks started to flare up.” Lord, was he really about to admit this to them both? He clutched Paulo’s hand for support, trying to work the two-stick controls with one hand. After running into the table leg repeatedly, he set the controller aside. “I had a really bad one recently, and I didn’t handle it well. That’s why I haven’t been online.”
“Did you guys win the trial?”
“Maybe. She’s going to appeal.” With a small intake of breath, he leaned into Paulo’s side. No rage, no threats, he was just quietly sitting, holding Harrison’s hand. “It was Ashmore.”
“The woman who…did that to you?” The shock in Michael’s voice cracked the air. “So they found her guilty, then? For now?”
Harrison carefully chose his words, not for Michael’s sake but for his own. “Facing her was the important part. Make any sense?”
“Of course,” Michael replied so immediately and so forcefully that Harrison wondered if they both didn’t have their secrets.
“It took a lot out of me, and I disconnected from the world for a while.”
“Did she hurt you too, Paulo?”
Harrison closed his eyes and listened to Paulo’s heart thudding hard in his chest.
“Only insofar as I let her.” With his free hand, Paulo stroked Harrison’s hair, and for a moment, Harrison could have sworn he’d died.
Dee was suddenly in the doorway, wearing her pajamas, hands on her hips. She whispered, “You guys are opening presents without me? Scoot over! I want in.”
Harrison passed the controller to Dee and took the moment, while the kids were distracted, to touch one of Paulo’s tan, hair-roughed calves. He dragged his eyes upward, trying not to think—and then thinking more—about whether or not Paulo was wearing boxers and a tee under the robe he must have borrowed from Seamus. When they still lived together, Paulo had a habit of throwing on a robe after a shower, but not bothering to put on underwear…or fasten the belt.
“Ari?” Paulo’s low murmur was salve to all the little bruises and nicks in Harrison’s heart. “You’re going to have to stop that unless you want to cause a reaction.”
“Oi, Dee, try not to accidentally break it before I take it out of the box, sis,” Michael was saying.
She’d spun the car out into the wall, though from Harrison’s perspective it looked like she’d been trying to charge it up the wall and get it to flip. Definitely no accident.
She smirked at him. “I’m not gonna break it. And it’s already out of the box.”
“Well, until I take it out of the box in front of Shay. If you scuff the paint, then he’s gonna know!”
“He’s probably gonna know anyway. You wrinkled the paper. Where are we gonna get more? It’s upstairs in Dad and Seamus’s bedroom closet. I am not sneakin’ in there.”
A smile spread slowly across Harrison’s lips. He was so warm, so comfortable. He knew they had so much to say to each other, so much work to do—but he deserved to have this moment. His fingers didn’t stop moving against Paulo’s leg.
“You’re a wicked tease,” Paulo whispered.
God. They could leave the kids to their toy car, take this private party to wherever Paulo had appeared from…
“Do you have a roommate?” Harrison asked, in no way nonchalant. “I…I mean here. Tonight. Pru’s up in my room.”
“I don’t. Here, tonight, or anywhere in my life.”
&nbs
p; Michael and Dee were still arguing over the car, and Harrison was afraid they’d bring the house down on their heads.
Seeing Paulo… Feeling Paulo… Being near Paulo… He just wanted to be alone with the man he loved. To talk, to not talk, he didn’t care which.
He stood up, felt as if he were carrying the weight of Paulo’s stare with him, and then turned to his former boyfriend and held out his hand.
“Where are you lads off to?” Michael asked, and Dee punched him in the arm. “What?”
“Dig out another present. Something for me!”
She pushed Michael forward, headlong into the presents, and he flailed, struggling to get back up.
Meanwhile, Paulo had stood and was tightly gripping Harrison’s hand. Slowly he drew it up to his mouth and placed a kiss on the back of his knuckles.
“Can we talk now?” Paulo asked.
“Please.”
They walked hand and hand toward a room off the living room. Harrison had seen the door, but he hadn’t been inside. They’d just passed the stairs when a creaking stopped them. Guiltily, Harrison turned, almost ripping his hand away from Paulo’s until he realized he had nothing to feel ashamed of. He could hold Paulo’s hand if he wanted. He could press him against the wall and “snog” his face off if he wanted, too. He was a grown man, holding the hand of the person he was in love with.
Pru crept down the stairs, her hair a mess and mascara circles making her look like the undead. As she stopped on the bottom step, she observed the pair of them together, and Harrison tightened his grip on Paulo’s hand.
“Have you made up?” she asked in her I haven’t had enough coffee, previously her I haven’t had enough coke, voice.
He was still a little angry at her—hurt by what she’d done—but he didn’t want to spend Christmas morning fuming at her. They could heal later. Right now his heart and mind were on Paulo.
He stepped toward her, Paulo extending his arm so that Harrison could reach her. He looked up at her on the stair and smiled.
“No,” he said. “But we might.”
Chapter Sixteen:
Absolutamente
Paulo hadn’t been this nervous since he was sixteen and tearing open his first condom wrapper. He took an extralong moment to close the door, inhaling slowly, trying to keep the nerves off his face. When he turned back to Harrison—his beautiful, perfect, amazing Ari—he smiled. “Thank you.”
Seeds of Tyrone Box Set Page 58