Rather Be (A Songbird Novel)

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Rather Be (A Songbird Novel) Page 19

by Melissa Pearl


  “Yep.” She nodded. “Mostly fun, I guess. Except when she gets together with Aunt Ella and Uncle Cole’s kids.” Her eyes bulged. “They’re like the terrible trio.”

  Angel was adorable, and it was hard not to chuckle at her serious sweetness. “And how old are Aunt Ella and Uncle Cole’s kids?”

  “They’re three. Twin boys. You can only imagine.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Lucky you get to go to school and get away from them, huh?”

  “For sure.” She nodded, then beamed and waved at the blonde lady dancing with Sean Jaxon.

  The woman gave me a cautious glare. I reciprocated with a closed-mouth smile, which she accepted, but I had a feeling once the song was done, she’d be coming to collect the little cutie beside me.

  “That’s Aunt Morgan. She’s teaching me how to dance.”

  “Nice.” I nodded. “You like dancing? Why aren’t you up there with your family, then?”

  “I’ll go soon. I just thought you looked a little lonely.” She scratched the side of her nose. “My best friend, Thomas, he looks like that sometimes. That’s how I became his friend.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah, he was sitting by himself one day so I went to say hello because Mommy says that we should always make people try to smile, and he wasn’t smiling.” She brushed at the curl that kept tickling her cheek before continuing with her story. “He’s my best friend now because he’s smart and we like the same stuff.”

  “Well, that’s always a good start. Best friends like the same things.”

  “Yeah, I know.” She grinned. “I wish he was here. It’d be nice to have someone my size to dance with.”

  I glanced up at the floor and noticed Angel’s dad frowning at me. Fair enough. I was the crazy guy who had tried to stop the wedding.

  Pointing at him, I leaned down and spoke to Angel. “I can see a guy over there who’d probably dance with you.”

  She giggled and hopped down from the chair. “You know, Mom thinks what you did was romantic, but Daddy says you’re bloody crazy.”

  I laughed, then winced. “Maybe a little of both?”

  She grinned and waved at me. “Goodbye, crazy man.”

  “Thanks for making me smile, Angel.”

  She stopped at my words, her face like the star on top of a Christmas tree. Running back, she went on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek before racing into her father’s arms.

  He crouched down to collect her and she wrapped her arms and legs around him while they danced on the floor together.

  It was a thing of beauty…and Charlie captured it all.

  Standing up, she gazed at her camera display with a triumphant smile before continuing to snap more precious moments.

  I had no idea how many hundreds of photos she must have taken throughout the day, but she was going all out for this wedding.

  I wanted to see them, to pour over them like we used to. The hours we’d spend at her computer manipulating images while music blasted out of her stereo. Her mom would bustle in to turn it down, but as new songs started we’d slowly increase the volume again.

  I missed those days. The Snickers bars, the movie-a-thons, the photos, the music.

  We could never get those moments back. But I hoped like hell we could make new ones.

  My chest constricted as Chaos started a rock version of “Happy Together.” Charlie and I loved this version. We’d sing it all the time at high school and I’d imagine myself with her forever.

  She glanced across the room and caught my eye. Once again we were transported to that place where we belonged.

  My lips rose with a smile but her sad expression, and the way her gaze hit the floor, threw a noose around my hope. I’d imagined it differently. Thought the fact that I’d busted in on a wedding was enough to prove how much I wanted her.

  But something was holding her back.

  And I was almost too afraid to find out what it was.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Charlie

  Cheers went up as Cassie and Troy drove away for the first night of their honeymoon. Felix was staying with Chaos while they were away, which, according to Kelly, made Cassie kind of nervous. But Fliss promised she’d make sure everyone behaved themselves.

  I rolled my eyes and grinned. Poor Felix was going to get lumped with like seven temporary parents. Just what every teenager wants.

  “You okay?” Kelly’s long arm settled around my shoulders.

  I bobbed my head, but a nervous swallow gave me away. “He’s still here, isn’t he?”

  “Yep.” She accentuated the P. “He’s helping Chaos with the pack-up.”

  “And they don’t mind?”

  “He’s the guy who busted in on a wedding. They think he’s awesome.”

  I snickered and shook my head. “I can’t believe he did that. I thought he was getting married. I’ve been trying to let him go. I’m moving on.” My voice pitched high as I rushed to a finish.

  “I know.” She squeezed me against her and kissed my forehead. She was ridiculously tall in those heels. “Remember, just because he’s here proclaiming his love for you doesn’t mean you have to change all of your plans for him.” Spinning me to face her, she looked me in the eye. “This is your life. And I know you’ll always love him, but don’t give up on this travel dream just because he’s here. See something through, Charlie. I beg you. If your love is real, he’ll be waiting for you when you get back.”

  I bit my lip, then wrinkled my nose. “You’re not just saying that to get me home early, are you?”

  With a soft snort, she pulled me into a tight hug. “I just want you to be happy.”

  “Thanks, Kels.” I squeezed her back, suddenly missing her before I’d even left.

  Letting me go, she kissed my cheek and then propelled me towards the fairy-lit reception hall where things were slowly being packed away.

  I ambled back into the room and spotted Nixon chatting with Ralphie. The bass player said something that made Nixon smile, and then Flick added his own quip that had all three of them chuckling. They all looked to Jace, who was oblivious to whatever they were talking about. He was transfixed by an African-American waitress who was carrying a tray of dirty champagne glasses. She glanced his way, her lips twitching with a grin, before disappearing through the service doors.

  Jace looked down, his full lips fighting a smile.

  Flick said something and Jace’s cheeks bloomed hot red, making all the guys crack up laughing again.

  Except Nixon.

  Because he’d noticed me on the other side of the room.

  Our eyes locked and I suddenly couldn’t breathe.

  This was it. The moment I’d been waiting for.

  And it was the world’s worst timing.

  “Hey,” Nixon said when he finally reached me.

  Over his shoulder, I caught a few curious gazes, so I tipped my head towards the door. We stepped outside and took the path on the right, walking along it until we were completely alone. The reception hall was surrounded by copious gardens. During the day, people paid to walk the different pathways and admire the carefully maintained flowers and sculpted hedges, but late at night it was an empty, moonlit oasis. The warm summer air caressed my skin while crickets and other insects created a soundtrack for our silent walk. I knew I had to speak at some point, but I wasn’t ready until we found a private little nook within a waist-high maze of hedges. Moonlight bathed the patch of grass in the middle and I took a seat, crossing my legs and studying Nixon as he eased to the ground beside me. He propped his elbows onto his knees and looked at me.

  I loved the way the moonlight played off his features, casting shadows, highlighting the angular structure of his face. I was tempted to take a photo, but sometimes even the best photographer can’t capture the beauty of the moment. I pulled my camera off and laid it on the ground beside me.

  “You really knocked it out of the park with the whole Graduate routine.”

  Nixon snick
ered and shook his head. “‘Crashed the Wedding’ was playing in the car as I raced to find you. I guess it kind of inspired me.”

  I grinned. “I love that song.”

  “Me too.” His voice was serious as he turned to face me and gently took my hands. “Just more proof.”

  “Of what?”

  “That we’re meant to be together.”

  “Because we like the same song?”

  “You know it’s not just that.” He pressed his lips together, then gave me a pained look. “Why didn’t you tell me what Dad said to you? Why didn’t you come find me? We could have worked it out together.”

  I pulled my hands from his and tucked them under my legs. “So you found out, then.”

  “Yeah, I found out.”

  “Is that why you dumped her?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “I discovered the truth as I was dumping her.” His sigh was heavy. He propped his elbows back onto his knees. “I just couldn’t keep pretending anymore. I’ve been miserable since the day you left. I tried to find my happy within that, but then you came back into the picture and just reminded me how much better my life was with you.”

  His words made my eyes tingle and sheen. I blinked and looked up at the moon. “Maybe I never should have left, but…they were going to make it really hard. Your dad threatened to put a restraining order against me and get people to write horrible things about me in the media. He described the flow-on effect really well. And he also said he was going to cut you off financially.”

  Nixon’s eyes rounded before he dipped his head and softly cursed.

  Okay, so he hadn’t found out everything, then.

  I winced, hoping I hadn’t made it worse. “You know, I don’t know whether he would have gone through with it or not, but it was enough to make me realize that it’d be a battle over you. And I just couldn’t put any of us in that position. My parents have had to deal with family shit their whole lives, and it sucks. I didn’t want that for you. After everything your family already lost…” I sighed and started picking at the grass. “I never realized I’d be taking your heart with me though.”

  He turned to face me, his shadowed expression wrinkled with pain.

  “How could you not know that?” His deep voice sent a shiver down my spine. He said the words with such strength and conviction. It made me feel like a fool for believing his father so easily.

  But then it also made me warm on the inside.

  He loved me.

  He’d never stopped.

  “Charlie.” His voice was husky as he brushed his knuckles across my knee. “Did you honestly not know how much you meant to me?”

  I shrugged. “You were always so much better than I was. I never felt worthy of you in the first place. I just figured you’d get over me and find someone else.” I glanced up and swallowed. “And you did. You found Shayna.”

  “But she’s not you.” He cupped my cheeks and gently turned me to face him. “It’s only ever been you. You’re my best friend. The love of my life.”

  His lips were soft and inviting as they touched mine.

  I sank into the kiss, gripping his wrists when he deepened it. I closed my eyes and the world disappeared. All that existed was Nixon.

  It would have been so easy to stay trapped in that bubble, floating over life like none of it mattered.

  But we couldn’t do that.

  Tents had doors.

  Vacations had endings.

  And life was full of shitty situations that couldn’t be dreamed away.

  As if to prove my point, Nixon pulled back and whispered words that I couldn’t agree to. “Come to New York with me. Make me the happiest man alive.”

  Tears welled in my eyes as I leaned my forehead against his. “I can’t, Nix. I’m leaving.”

  “What?” The sadness in his voice made my heart squeeze.

  “I’m all booked. I’m flying out tomorrow.” I sniffed, keeping my head dipped so he couldn’t see the onset of tears.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Hawaii, and then on to…I’m not sure yet. I’ve got a pretty long list and I’ll book as I go.”

  With his knuckle, he nudged my chin up so he could see my face. His smile was sad yet beautiful. “Finally chasing those dreams, huh?”

  “Trying to,” I whispered. “I can’t pull out last minute.”

  “I know. I wouldn’t want you to.” His voice was soft and deep. Soft and sexy.

  My insides stirred with desire. I could have seriously drowned in those moonlit eyes. They were dark pools of love and longing.

  His thumb was feather light on the tip of my chin. “How long will you be gone?”

  “I don’t know.” My breath hitched as the tears trickled free.

  Nixon clenched his jaw and looked out into the darkness.

  Slashing the tears off my cheeks, I wanted to lighten the moment with a lame joke. But I couldn’t think of a single thing to make him smile.

  Reaching for his face, I traced his cheekbones—so familiar yet new.

  And then I whispered something I didn’t even see coming.

  “But we’ve got tonight.”

  My heart must have wanted to say it, because as the words slipped out, they suddenly felt like the most important ones I’d ever said.

  Nixon and I were obviously destined not to be together for long. But we’d make the most of the moments we were given.

  His brown eyes caught my expression and he smiled at me, one of those tender smiles that always melted my heart. Gently taking my arms, he dragged me off the grass and onto his lap. I straddled him, awed by my overwhelming love for this guy.

  Brushing his lips with my thumb, I murmured, “I love you.”

  He responded by cupping the back of my head and pulling me into a kiss. And it wasn’t just any kiss. It was the kind of kiss I could soak in, like a hot bath at the end of a stressful day.

  It was the kind of kiss that would see me through months of separation.

  It was the kiss that said I’m yours.

  Our lips trembled against each other, heat quickly building as we lost ourselves in the moonlight. Nixon set my hair free of the messy bun and curled his fingers into my wild locks. His other hand trailed from my shoulder and down to my breast.

  He gave it a gentle squeeze and laughed into my mouth.

  I pulled back with a curious grin and he squeezed me again.

  “Still the perfect size,” he murmured.

  I laughed with him, loving him more than anyone ever could. “Still all yours.”

  With a wink, I pulled my shirt off, exposing my bright blue bra.

  “It matches your hair.” He grinned, then kissed me between my collarbones. His lips were warm and delicious. As soon as his tongue hit my soft skin and trailed a line down between my breasts, my entire body started buzzing.

  He unhooked my bra and the warm breeze tickled my sensitive spots, adding to my euphoria when his tongue curled around my nipple. I tipped my neck back with an unchecked moan.

  Nixon’s strong hands supported my back while I gripped his shoulders and melted into a puddle of desire. Heat pooled between my legs as an urgency to have him tore through me.

  But I couldn’t do that.

  Because this was our last time in a while and I wanted to take it slow, draw it out, enjoy every second of it.

  Opening my eyes, I smiled up at the moon before threading my fingers into Nixon’s hair and tipping his head up. I wanted his mouth on mine again.

  He obliged, his warm tongue both a comfort and a turn-on.

  I wanted to memorize the feeling.

  Because I wanted to make this moment last forever.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Nixon

  Charlie’s tongue in my mouth felt so damn right. I never wanted to stop touching her, kissing her. But the reality was, I’d have to.

  I shoved the thought from my mind, not wanting to ruin the moment or get too far ahead of myself. All that mattered
was her, me…us.

  I sank into the kiss, pulling her against me and relishing the feel of her beautiful breasts pressing into my chest. I needed them on my skin, so I quickly pulled out of the kiss and yanked off my shirt. Charlie helped me, throwing the fabric aside before gluing our bodies back together. We groaned in unison, the touch of flesh on flesh stirring old flames that were growing hotter by the second.

  A strong part of me wanted to devour her, to tear the clothes off her body and have her hot and fast. But I also wanted to savor the moment, draw it out and make it last as long as I could.

  It was our last time for who knew how long. It had to be the best time we’d ever had.

  Supporting her back, I flipped her over onto the grass. Her hair splayed out in the moonlight. Paired with the glowing of her skin, she looked like a painting I’d hang on my wall.

  “You are so beautiful,” I whispered.

  She gave me her classic smile, which only enriched her beauty.

  I loved her so much. I’d never stop.

  Trailing kisses down her neck, I sucked her nipples the way she liked it, then slowly stripped the rest of her clothes off her body. Each time a new bit of flesh was exposed, I kissed it, tasted it, memorized the shape. She soon lay naked beneath me and I took my time pleasuring her, caressing, kissing, nibbling every inch of her until she was arching her back beneath me. Her moans of pleasure filled the private garden, sinking into the hedges around us and filling the air like a sweet song.

  Gripping my hair, she dragged me up her body. “I need you…now.”

  Snatching my jeans, I scrambled for protection.

  She giggled. “You figured you’d get lucky tonight, huh?”

  “I was knocking on your door to tell you I love you always and forever. A guy comes prepared for that kind of thing.”

  Her laugh deepened to that adorable chuckle I couldn’t get enough of. I went still, soaking it in before she yanked the condom out of my grasp and helped me wrap myself.

  Then she lay back down and gave me every last inch of her.

  Sliding home was the best feeling I’d had in years. It was familiar yet driven by a new intensity that was powerful and sweet.

 

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