She gave me the dirtiest look, "Well, you didn't give me much of a choice. For somebody that says it was just casual between you and Colt, you didn't react that way. You are acting like he crushed you."
"I am not!"
"He’s not James. He's Colt. Hear him out. He didn't hurt you. He just simply stopped talking to you. There are always reasons behind actions, Sadie."
"Oh, okay Yoda." I was smiling from ear to ear as she punched me. Heather always was great at giving advice. I just couldn't help teasing her a little. Within a couple minutes we were pulling back up to Dave’s house.
I felt like I was doing the walk of shame. People out front were all staring at me (well, it felt that way anyway) so I powered through it and entered the house. It is the moments like these you have got to love your friends. Bryan walked up with beer, handed it to me smiling and walked away as if nothing had happened. Heather joined the crowd in the dining room to watch a game of beer pong. I decided to sit down on the couch, and try to see where they were in the lineup. Light weight had just finished so we still had awhile. All of a sudden I felt a chill that was all too familiar, creeping up my body. Goose bumps came to life as my hair was swept away and his voice hit me like a brick.
"Sadie, can I please talk to you?"
I didn't turn or answer. I just sat there contemplating what I should do. Then I stood up and walked around the couch to come face to face with the beautiful jerk of a man. He stared into my eyes and it was like I could see the regret in his. His hand started to reach for mine but then like a reflex, it jerked back. He tilted his head toward the front door and I just shrugged my shoulders. He moved his arm as if to say after you and I started to walk. Neither of us obviously wanted to be the one to start this much needed conversation.
We got to the driveway when I turned around to face him. Why should it be me to explain? Explain what, exactly? That he amazed me. That when I was around him all I could do was smile? Which is the very reason why I was acting the way I was. Because I was scared, and did not want that feeling to end.
"There you go over thinking again."
“Really? Is that what I'm doing?"
“Well, I can see it all turning in your head."
"If you’re so wise, then tell me what it is that I'm thinking."
“Well for starters, you are thinking I'm a dick, that I never should have started something that I didn't want to finish and that only a chicken shit would take the way out I took.”
"Keep going."
"That you never gave me reason to believe I needed to run."
"Not that I want to give you any credit, but you’re pretty spot on."
"Sadie," he gasped for air, like it pained him to keep going. I wanted to watch him suffer but if I was honest with myself, really, I just wanted to know why?
"Colt, just talk to me. Since when did you feel you couldn't? "
"You are right. You’re so right. That's part of the reason behind all of this. Sadie, you took me by storm. I know I told you all about Jamie. What I think, is I left the most important part out. When you’re in love it never feels wrong. You hear people tell you you’re too young, that you need to experience life before you settle down. But you think they all are full of shit. If they could feel what you’re feeling, they would know that it would be foolish to give that up. Well, in hind sight, I see now that they were partially right. I wouldn't trade what Jamie and I shared, or made for that matter, for the world. But I didn't get to experience anything other than us or what we had. I met her young. I never dated other people. I never just had me to worry about. I know that really, I will never have that again because I will always have Maddie. But I came here thinking, this is my second chance. This is my opportunity to live my life. I know that sounds so fucking selfish. But when I met you, God Sadie! You have no idea what was happening to me. I was falling. So fast and so hard. I'm not ready to do that again. I don't want to go there yet."
I sat there taking all that he said in. It made sense. He deserved what he was asking life for. So I did the only thing that made sense to me at the time. I lied.
"Did I say I wanted more? Did I give you any reason to think I wanted anything more than for us to hang out and have a good time? Colt, I'm twenty years old. I don't want serious. I just liked spending time with you."
He grabbed me, picked me up and spun me around saying, “Thank God! Thank you!”
I could not help but laugh at his reaction. Then he set me down slowly, like the whole mood had changed in a second. His hands were on my face and his lips were crashing down on me. He kissed me like he thought he would never get the chance again. I was so confused. But I guessed this was still having fun, so I was going with it. We kissed for what seemed like forever. Well, until a person cleared their throat. I pulled back and saw it was the girl Colt came out of the bedroom with. I wasn't sure exactly what to do with the friend zone I was just placed in. So I looked him in the eye and smiled, then I turned and walked back in the house with my head held high.
CHAPTER 6
When I walked back in, everyone was gathered around the giant flat screen. It was time for the main event. Mike's opponent entered the cage first. He got a decent amount of cheers but when Mike entered just a few minutes later, the applause from the crowd went completely wild, and so did we. It never got old seeing him like this. I know he trains brutally but it always worries me that it is not enough. That one of these times he's not going to come out of the cage, himself. It is not uncommon for fighters to suffer severe brain damage. But he always tells me that if that happens, it was still worth it. His love for the sport means more to him than anything. I have to admire that passion. The cage master starts the fight and a swift kick almost nails Mike in the jaw. But in pure Mike style, he shoots taking the guy to the ground. I know the fight could end now but Mike makes more money the longer it lasts. So with that, he gets up, letting his opponent get back to his feet. Up down, up down. This is getting ridiculous. My heart is in my throat as I stand there watching these two beat the shit out of each other. All of a sudden, hands wrap around my waist and a head rested on my shoulder. I could just smell him and a calm settled over me.
"Breathe, he will be fine."
I would say he was right. That I had not taken a breath since the first round ended, but if I could smell him, I had to be breathing. He was gone as fast as he appeared. That was when I knew I was holding my breath. I just wasn’t sure if it was because of the fight or me never getting to have Colt the way I really wanted.
The fight was lasting too long. I started wondering if Mike was as in control as I thought. Just as that thought left my mind, Mike grabbed the guy’s waist and rammed him into the fence. Blow by blow his opponent was weakening. Mike continued to crouch down until he was able to drop him. Once they were on the ground, it was game over. Mike put him in an arm bar, then the choke hold. Within seconds, Mister kick boxer was tapping out.
We all started screaming and jumping up and down. Jason was calling Heather immediately. You could hear him through the phone. Everyone was so happy that shots started to be poured. Geoff came over and gave me a huge hug. He picked me up by my butt forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist. I was not thinking anything of it, but apparently Colt was. He walked over, grabbed me under the arms, lifted me off Geoff and set me down. I looked up at him and he didn’t look happy. But that look was not directed at me. He was looking at Geoff.
Geoff didn’t look like he was ready to let this go either.
“What the fuck, Jennings? From what I heard her say earlier, you guys are just friends."
"Well just remember this, you grab any of my "friends’" asses again, you will be dealing with me. Sadie isn't one of the whores here. So don't make her look like one. If that's what you want, take your pick in the kitchen."
Geoff stood up tall. He was intimidating, standing at 6'6”. Probably the tallest guy I know. He had blond hair with just enough natural curl to make it look like the messy I just had s
ex look. He had bright blue eyes and was very muscular. He was attractive, but I wouldn’t want to mess with him. Well, maybe the fun kind of mess with him, but none of that seemed to faze Colt, he was ready to act. I walked up to Colt, put my hand over his clinched fist, and forced him to look at me.
"He didn't do anything Dave, Shawn, Mike, Bryan or any of my other friends wouldn't have done. We were celebrating. It had turned into a good night after all. Please, do not ruin it."
Colt looked down at me and then walked away, leaving me to try to figure all this out. I just did not feel like getting in the middle of their cock fight. Mike had won and that was a reason to celebrate.
"Who's up for beer pong? I need a partner!"
Several hours and way too much to drink later, I was on the couch ready to pass out. Most of the people had left already. In fact, I didn’t see Heather anywhere. She wouldn’t have left me here, that was just one of our rules neither one of us would break. I was so drunk that walking to find her, walking in general, was not sounding too appealing, so I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I woke up a little while later feeling someone’s hand rubbing my leg. Higher and higher the hand was going. Normally I would freak out, but I knew those hands. I have felt them before and it is the most euphoric feeling ever.
"Sadie, wake up"
It sounded like a good idea, but I was so tired.
"Sadie honey, everybody's gone and I don't want to leave you sleeping on a couch."
"Where is Heather?" I said with my voice cracking from dehydration. I glanced up at the clock on the wall, it was already quarter until four in the morning.
"Um, I'm not sure. I thought I saw her in one of the bedrooms with Shawn a little while ago. But I could be wrong."
"There is no way. She would never cheat on Jason." But as I said it, it was still enough to get me off that couch and down the hall. "Which room?"
"Sadie, I don't think this is a good idea."
"Colt, I don't care what you think. Tell me now!" I started opening and closing doors. Each one was flung open harder and slammed louder. The last one I came to, I found Heather. She and Shawn were in bed asleep.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I screamed it over and over again. It was like I was a stuck record player. Heather sat up, grabbing the sheets to cover her. She kept looking around as if she were going to find the answer I was looking for.
"I don't know. Oh my God, I don't know!" Heather started panicking. She grabbed her shirt off the floor and quickly threw it over her head. She slipped on her flip-flops and ran with her head down to the car.
Shawn slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"Why are you all being so loud? And why is Heather freaking out?'
I couldn't believe Shawn was taking this so lightly. He knew about her and Jason. He was friends with Jason, for Christ’s sake. Every one of us knew Shawn was the biggest player of them all, but to fuck with Heather? It would be like picking a fight with the devil if Jason found out.
I ran after Heather and found her in the passenger seat. Smart girl. She was in no shape to drive. She cried so hard the whole way home. I tried asking again, but she was not ready to talk about it yet. I love that girl like a sister and would do anything she wanted, even though it was killing me to know what happened.
I pulled up to the apartment and turned off the car. Heather didn’t get out right away. She just stared out the side window. I pulled the keys from the ignition and turned to look at her. I pushed the hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. God, I felt bad for her. I patted her leg and said, “Come on, chica, time to go inside. Why don’t you go take a long hot shower? You can wash some of that pain off." I opened my door and at the same time, so did she. We got to the front door of the town house we rented and after I unlocked it, I let her go in first. I pretended I left something in the car and told her I would be right back. After she shut the door and I heard her footsteps go up the stairs, I sat down on the porch step and put my head in my hands. What a rollercoaster night! I hope she can forgive herself, because everyone makes mistakes. It is the good ones like her that receive the forgiveness they deserve, but never truly forgive themselves. After a couple minutes I walked back inside and heard her bedroom door close. Then the light went out. I stayed downstairs in the family room and turned on the TV. There really was not much on, so I threw a text to Mike.
Me: SO PROUD OF YOU TONIGHT. SORRY I WASN'T THERE, BUT IN MY HEART I WAS.
A response came almost immediately after I hit send.
Mike: THANK YOU! THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME
I read it and then set my phone down. I let my head fall back on the couch. Just as my eyes started to shut, a pair of headlights was coming through the window behind me. The light was shining on the wall in front of me and man, was it bright. Either that or my eyes were just that ready for some sleep. Whoever it was killed the lights finally. Apartment living at its best, right? That felt like it must have been my cue to go bed. I turned off all the lights in the house and was starting the climb of the stairs when someone knocked on the door.
I jump down to the landing and opened it. The last person I thought I would see was staring back at me, Jason was here.
All I wanted to do was stare at him with my jaw dropped open. But that was exactly what I couldn’t do. I loved Jason. I could not let him know what happened. It would break his heart and it was not my place to say anything. So what did I do? I threw my arms around him and welcomed him inside. He walked in and closed the door behind him.
"What are you doing here? How did you get here so fast?" The words were just spilling from my mouth. "That was the craziest fight yet. I don't know how you do it. Standing there, watching your brother get hit and kicked. I always think you’re going to climb over the fence and start in on the other guy."
Jason just laughed and said, “Slow down, Sadie. One question at a time. First, I'm here because I missed the hell out of my girl. Second, I drove like a crazy man to get back here, hoping I could see her before she passed out. Must not be my lucky day."
If he only knew the half of it.
"And third, you’re absolutely right. I have to restrain myself. I have to keep telling myself, I know Mike has got this. He doesn't need my help. But, back to the most important part. Where is my girl?"
"She's already asleep. She had a long day. I'm pretty sure she knew that she would be sleeping alone tonight. So why drag it out, ya know?"
"Well, I'm wiped out myself. So I guess it’s time to prove her wrong. She won't be sleeping alone tonight after all." He stood as he said it and started the climb to Heather’s room.
"Good night, Sadie," he called over the banister rail.
"Good night, Jason," I replied.
Boy, oh boy, is tomorrow morning going to be all kinds of fucked up. I climbed the stairs myself, brushed my teeth and was off to bed. When I walked in my room, I went over to the nightstand to plug my phone in to charge. The little light was blinking, indicating I had something pending. I unlocked the screen and a text was waiting for me.
Colt: I'M GLAD WE WERE ABLE TO WORK THROUGH OUR PROBLEMS TONIGHT. THANK YOU FOR HEARING ME OUT. NOW THE ONLY PROBLEM I SEEM TO BE HAVING IS GETTING THE THOUGHT OF HOW GOOD YOU TASTE AND FEEL OUT OF MY HEAD. GOOD NIGHT SADIE. SWEET DREAMS. ALL OF MINE WILL BE OF YOU.
Wow! What a text to get right before bed. Well, I guess he just made sure all of my dreams will be of him too. Asshole!
Morning came and I wasn't sure what I was going to be walking into when I rounded the corner into the kitchen. What I didn't expect was Heather pressed up against the counter, while Jason practically mauled her mouth. I mean, this isn't odd behavior for these two, but after last night? It was a love-hate relationship for me. I loved that they were so wild and happy. Neither cared what anyone thought. But I hated watching them cram their tongues down each other’s throats. Right now, is an exception though. I don’t think I have been happier watching something so gross.
Heather came up for air and lo
oked at me over his shoulder. I am normally pretty good at reading her expressions, but this one was different. It seemed to be a mix between I want to hold onto this moment forever and I can’t do this. It killed me inside to see her like that. Jason stepped back and kissed her one last time before he said he needed to get going. Heather walked him out to his car while I blew him a kiss. Jason is sex on a stick. He stands a powerful 6 feet tall and is ripped to shreds with muscles. Mix all that with the sandy blond colored hair and what you get is perfection. He has olive green eyes. The Harrison brothers are half Italian so the coloring they share is a tan we all would die for. He and Heather are a pair to be reckoned with. She is tall. At least I consider five foot nine for a girl, tall. Her strawberry blond hair is unbelievably thick. Her long layers make it jaw dropping. Out of all my clients, she is hands down the easiest to work with because I could do just about anything to her hair and she would be gorgeous. She can eat whatever she wants and never goes higher on the scale than 125 lbs. And if you thought you were jealous before, she has natural D-cups. Her curves make me sick. I would hate her, if I didn't love her so much. What's so sad is she has never had to work for any guy’s attention the way she has worked for Jason’s. She has wanted him for what felt like forever. I hope she can still hang on to him. More so, I hope the boys don't start yapping at the mouth.
I ate a muffin quickly so I could start getting ready for work. Walking up the stairs, I caught a glimpse of Heather outside. She was just standing there staring at nothing. I wanted to go to her but decided she needed to figure this one out. I jumped in the shower and while I was there, I started thinking about Colt. Why did he send that text? But then again, how can anything that happened last night make sense? Whatever, I was done over analyzing my life. Time to start just living, don’t you think?
After I was ready, I went in search of Heather. I walked into the family room and heard a whistle. I turned my head in the direction it came from and was shocked to shit to see Geoff.
Finding Solace Page 3