Finding Solace

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Finding Solace Page 19

by Speak, Barbara


  "Are you fucking kidding me? Your brothers have the biggest mouths! I'm going to kill them." I got down off my stool and was about to storm off when Tony grabbed me around the waist from the back and held me still.

  "You can take out Mike, but promise not to hurt my littlest brother on his big night, okay?" I spun around.

  "He's really going to do it? Here?"

  "Shhhhhh! It’s a secret. And yes, he is. I thought the same thing though. Demolition ball, really?" We both cracked up.

  "What did I miss?" Colt was back from wherever he went outside.

  "Oh nothing, Sadie was just telling me how Rocky really did shit his pants in Rocky 8."

  "I fucking hate your family."

  "You love us and you know it."

  "True statement."

  "Was there a Rocky 8?"

  "Aw, Colt. You need another drink. Let’s go do a shot together."

  It was time to call it a night. Everyone had a blast and we only had the place rented until two a.m., which meant one half hour more and we were officially kicked out. No one was ready to stop the party yet. Laughing and dancing, it was a memory to hold onto. Another birthday done well. Speaking of which, I was officially twenty two. Heather asked me to go to the bathroom with her and once the door closed, she broke down sobbing.

  "What's the matter, girly? Don't cry."

  "He didn’t ask! I so thought tonight was going to be the night and he didn't ask."

  She was a wreck. I personally had been thinking the same thing, but I couldn’t tell her I knew.

  "It’s going to be okay. He will. He loves you. I'm sure it will happen soon, if not tonight."

  "I know. Oh shit, look at me, I look like hell." She found herself in the mirror. I was afraid of that.

  "No, you don't. Just wipe off the black and you'll be fine." She did the best she could, but she was still a puffy mess. When I convinced her we needed to get out of the bathroom, it took telling her we had been in there long enough for the place to close and keep us locked in there all night. With that she willingly opened the door to let us out. And that’s when the screech of a lifetime left her mouth. Jason was down on one knee right outside the bathroom. He gave the most romantic speech about how they met, everything they went through to get where they are and how he wanted the rest of his life to be filled with more amazing adventures they could take part in together. It was better than I ever expected. Heather of course fell to her knees and hugged him screaming, yes over and over again. Everyone clapped and hollered. They got up and joined all of our friends at the bar, getting hugs from the girls and slapped on the back by the men. It could not have been more perfect.

  Let me recap. I just got to watch my very best friend in the world get engaged from inside a bathroom, at a demolition ball place, with her face blown up like a balloon from crying two minutes before about the fact he didn't ask. Could it have been better? No. It was story book perfection for the two of them.

  CHAPTER 28

  Thanksgiving was coming up and work was once again slammed with everyone trying to get in. I dreaded the long hours, but it did get me away from the crazy Bridezilla that Heather had become. They set their date for two years from now and yet it was still all she talked about. Colt had called me earlier to see if I had time to run by his place and cut his hair before he left to go home for the weekend. My first response was, "Are you crazy? I don’t have time to pee, more or less come give you a haircut."

  But luck fell on his side when a two and a half hour color and foil appointment canceled at the last minute. I grabbed what I needed and drove over to surprise him. When I got there, he of course had to unlock the fifty locks on the door to let me in, but he was so happy that I came, all of the weirdness faded away. I grabbed a kitchen chair while he went to run his head under the tub faucet to get it wet for me to cut. His haircut was the most simplistic one a man could get. It made it easy to know I had enough time to cut it and get a quickie in before I had to go back to work. I had just finished the sides and started cutting the top when we both jumped from the loud crash that came from the outside door. All of a sudden police were rushing in with guns, throwing us to the ground with their foot in the middle of our backs. I was so scared and I didn’t know what was going on. They had Colt positioned with his head facing away from me so I couldn’t even look at him to read his reaction either. I was shocked speechless as the officers combed his apartment. I heard one shout "In here. I got it" and the rest followed his voice. I still couldn’t see anything from the floor, but the officer with his foot in my back proceeded to zip tie my hands together. He stood me up and walked me to Colt’s bedroom, allowing me to pass the area they were all crowding around. It was the closet Colt had started to lock up months ago. They had the door open and inside was pound after pound of marijuana. My heart hit the floor. This explained everything and nothing, all at the same time. I didn’t have any time to process any of this because the officer pushed me into his bedroom and shut the door. I began to cry. I could not hold back my tears, as strong as I was trying to be. Another officer walked into the bedroom with my purse in hand and offered it to the police officer questioning me. As he searched through my belongings all I could think was, I have never been in trouble in my life. When he finished pulling everything out, he asked me what I was doing there. At first I wasn’t sure what I should say, so I just came out with what I was actually doing.

  "I am a hair stylist. He is one of my clients and had asked me if I could do a huge favor for him and come over here to cut his hair."

  "You mean to tell me you had no idea he was dealing marijuana? We have been watching the house for weeks and have documented your car being here on more than one occasion."

  "Officer, I really did not know. I know he has locks everywhere but I did not know, I swear!" Tears kept falling from my eyes. He just looked at me and then walked out of the room.

  I sat there on Colt’s bed. So many memories came rushing back. The first, being the most prominent. To think, if I had never believed Mike, I wouldn’t have given myself up that night. I may not remember anything from the time we met until the morning, but everything since is in the fore front of my mind. Making love, our talks, being sick, losing time, making up, erotic sex, it’s all there. Who is that man out there on the floor? What in the world could he possibly have been thinking would happen other than all this leading us to being hand cuffed? Well, in this case, zip tied. Speaking of which, they were really starting to hurt.

  The officer came back in the room and started to put my stuff back in my purse. When he was done, he came over to the bed and started to take off the ties when he said, "You’re free to go. Colton Jennings has given a statement that matches your own. It is your lucky day, young lady."

  I stood up, collected my work supplies and walked out of the broken down door to my car. Once I was inside, I lost it. I cried for everything we had. I cried for Colt. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I started my car but I couldn’t imagine driving away. My whole body was shaking. I had to go back to work and work on clients. How was I supposed to do that? When I finally calmed down enough to hold onto the wheel without feeling like I was having a seizure, I pulled out onto the road and thought, lucky day my ass.

  When I got back to work I walked in trying to act like nothing had happened. I contemplated calling Tony, but felt it was Colt’s place to do that, not my own. Working, ironically did help. It allowed my mind a little time to stray from what had to be happening to Colt at that very moment. Was he being prosecuted? Was there bail he could set? How much? This was a nightmare and I just wanted to wake up from it. The end of my work day finally came. I was sweeping up hair when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and almost passed out. Really! I had to grab onto to my styling chair to support my weight. It was someone calling from Colt’s phone. Who could have it? I did not want the call to go to voicemail, so I hurried and answered it.

  "Hello?"

  "Sadie, are you okay?” It was Col
t. I threw up in my mouth. I know that’s disgusting people. How do you think I felt when it happened? I didn’t think I would ever get to hear his voice again. Now it had only been a few hours and he was calling me from his cell. ‘Wait, is this his one phone call thing?’ is what I was thinking. I have seen enough movies to know you get one. In reality, I still couldn’t believe it was him on the phone.

  "Colt, is that really you?"

  "Yes, beautiful, it’s really me. When do you get off work? I need to see you. I need you, Sadie." I think I stopped breathing for a solid minute.

  "I’m done now. Do you want to come to my house or me to come there? Wait, where are you?"

  "I am at home. I just got here. Please, Sadie. Come over." He sounded panicked.

  "I’m on my way now."

  "Okay, I will see you in a couple minutes, and Sadie?”

  "Yes?"

  "Thank you."

  I didn’t know what he was thanking me for, but I could find out in person. Right now, I needed to see him with my own eyes.

  "I will be there before you can blink, Colt. Just wait for me."

  "Always. Bye, beautiful."

  I hung up the phone and ran out the door to my car. I didn’t want to get pulled over and have to deal with the police twice in one day, so I stayed under the speed limit, but got there as quick as I could. When I pulled in, I saw Colt fixing the door jamb that was kicked in. I got out of my car and Colt turned when he heard the door close. We ran to each other and I jumped into his open arms. I held on so tight, I thought I might squeeze him to death. When we were both ready to let go, he set me down and grabbed my hand leading me back into the house. It was awful having to walk through the chaos that was once his apartment. He led me back to the only room that stood untouched and that was his bedroom. Colt had never let go of my hand and had a grip on it giving me the impression he had no intention of doing so anytime soon. When we reached the bed and sat down, I couldn’t hold back.

  "What happened and why? You need to start from the beginning."

  He took in a huge breath and started, “I have always smoked pot. I started back in high school and it just seemed to calm my nerves. I had a friend that dealt, so it was always available to me. I had no desire to sell it, it was just something I did recreationally. When I moved up here, I met someone up at the bar that was talking about getting high. I asked him if he could hook me up with somebody to get it from. He told me he sold it and I have been getting it from him ever since. When school, wrestling and work started to be too much for me, I was buying it a lot more. He suggested selling it in small increments. If I did that, it would cover the cost of my own use. It seemed like a smart move with all the money I had been spending, and all the money I have to send Jamie every month. I started to see how much I could make off of big trades. I wouldn’t have to deal with individual sales anymore. I would just buy the big amounts, break them up into smaller amounts and give that off to the smaller dealer. The money was awesome, Sadie. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. Every week I told myself that this was going to be it. That I would walk away from it and be done. Then Jamie would call and need more money. How could I say no to her if it was for Maddie? Then he came that night when you were here. I was done. I never wanted you to know and I never wanted you to be a part of any of this. That is what did it for me. The chain was broken. The guy under me got caught. Then he decided to roll and give my name. And now we are up to present time."

  "Uh, no, we are not. How are you here?"

  "That is where it gets crazy. I now am on the payroll of EIU. The station knows most of the tax dollars that come in to this town are due to the college. Bringing charges against me would be horrible publicly for the school. They came up with the plan that if I could give information on anyone selling much harder drugs on campus, they would pretend none of this ever happened. So I basically said, ‘who’s dick do you want me to suck first?’ I would have done anything they needed me to do, if it meant not going to jail and losing my daughter. What I was doing was fucking stupid, Sadie. The risks that I was taking were so high. Fucking stupid. The only reason I don’t feel awful giving up names is, I told them about the people dealing roofies on campus. Those mother fuckers buy them and then come in to my bar and try slipping them to poor girls that are just there to have a good time. Not to be raped by some prick that bought them on school grounds."

  Holy shit, that was a lot to take in. I want to be mad, but he has suffered so much today. How fucking scary! Colt still had my hand. He still looked scared. I leaned over and grabbed his face, breaking our link of hands to kiss the shit out of him. My broken man. He kissed me back with so much intensity. My face started to feel wet and I knew then, he was crying. I kissed him until he did not want to kiss me anymore. When he finally pulled away, the tears were still falling.

  "I was so scared, Sadie. So scared, scared of losing everything that is important to me, including you. The fact you were here. Oh my God. I looked at you and felt lower than I ever have in my life. I won’t blame you if you can’t forgive me. I would never forgive me."

  "I already have."

  "Why? Why would you want to spend time with someone who would allow you to be handcuffed, Sadie?"

  Now is when I tell him that it is easy because I am in love with him, right? It would all make sense then. But I can’t, so I didn’t.

  "Because, you mean a lot to me. You are my best friend. I know it was a mistake, but you almost had to pay the ultimate price. I know you’re sorry. It’s okay, Colt. Everything is going to be okay." He still had tears falling from his eyes. He grabbed me and pulled me down in bed with him. He made sure to put me right where I belonged and just held me. Every so often his body would shake a little. As if he was trying to catch a breath. I knew he was still crying, so I laid there in his arms until his breathing went shallow and so did mine.

  The next morning I woke still dressed in my clothes from yesterday, still lying with Colt, still wrapped in his arms. Opening my eyes made what I was hoping was a bad dream, bring me back to reality. It all happened. The bust, Colt crying, it all happened. He stirred awake and squeezed me. I think reality just set in for him as well.

  "I'm still here. You don't have to squeeze me to death."

  "That's good to hear." He let go a little as he said it but not completely.

  "Sadie, where do I go from here?"

  "What do you tell me? One day at a time. We can't change our past but we can learn from it, right? Doesn't that sound like something you would spout out?" I was flipped and into some wrestling hold within seconds. I could not get loose.

  "Colt! Let me go! I'm going to pee in my pants. Please!" I was laughing so hard it hurt.

  "I spout shit, huh? Is that really it, Sadie? Or do you love my words of wisdom?"

  He held me so tight I couldn’t get out no matter how hard I tried. I was truly on the verge of peeing myself.

  "Say it. Tell me you love my wisdom."

  I couldn’t talk. I could barely breathe. I was laughing so hard.

  "Say it or you don't get out. Say it."

  "I love your wisdom!"

  "Good girl." he let me go finally. I ran to the bathroom and barely got my pants down in time. I was still laughing. When I finished relieving myself I brushed my teeth. Colt came in and started peeing while I was still brushing. How comfortable we have gotten is disturbing on so many levels. After I was finished, I went in to the kitchen to make breakfast. I know we established a sleep over rule, but today is a good exception. Bacon! Sorry to just blurt that out, but it sounded so good. Eggs, sausage, green peppers and onion were all there for omelets. Yes, I checked the dates this time. I heard the shower running so I went ahead and cooked everything. When he came out, the table had just been set. Perfect timing, if I do say so myself. Colt came over and kissed me.

  "Thanks for making all this, you know it’s my job to feed you, not the other way around."

  "I was too hungry to wait on your old ass. You seem to be mo
ving slower and slower these days."

  He slapped me on the ass hard.

  "Ouch! That hurt."

  "Then I must not be moving too slow to get that kind of momentum, huh?"

  "Sit down and eat before it gets cold."

  "Wow, bossy. I like this side of you."

  "There is plenty more where that came from, smart ass. Now eat."

  After breakfast, we spent the morning cleaning up the mess that the cops made. What we could not clean, we fixed. A trip to Home Depot was needed but we got a new door for outside and the closet. Colt didn't want to have the landlord find out what happened, so we did it all ourselves. When we finished, I told Colt I needed to get going. I hadn’t been home since the morning before. He was reluctant to let me leave, but in the end he understood. He walked me out to my car and hugged me.

  "Thank you for being you, Sadie."

  "I don't know how to be anything else, but you’re welcome."

  We pulled apart and he pecked my lips. I got in my car and went home.

  CHAPTER 29

  I was exhausted after the hell day I had yesterday at work. I swear, the holidays were going to kill me. I glanced over at the clock and it said it was only eight a.m. I rolled over away from the light coming through the window and tried to fall back asleep. At least it was my day off. I planned to stay in bed all day. Well, that was my plan, until Heather threw open my bedroom door causing it to hit the wall and probably made a hole from the handle. I was so startled by her that I jumped a good three feet.

  "Get up!"

  "What the hell is your problem? You knew I was asleep. There isn't a nicer way to do this?"

  Heather turned around and walked back out and then came back in slowly. Then she said, "I just thought you would like to know crazy Liz had the baby."

  I shot straight up.

  "Really? Holy shit! So what are they saying? Is it his? Is Mike the dad? Wait. What is it even?"

  "First, it’s a boy. She named him Talon. She tried to give him the Harrison name without permission but Mike's lawyers put a stop to that. Second, she had the baby two fucking days ago and didn’t tell anyone. Good thing Mike is who he is. His manager has been keeping tabs on Liz because she is a walking PR nightmare. He was notified when she checked into the hospital apparently. The DNA test was run as soon as the baby was cleared of any problems. Mike's lawyer called him this morning to inform him, it is his."

 

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