Finding Solace

by Speak, Barbara

  "Well then I'm sure glad I am or that might have gone to someone else."

  "Nope, that was reserved just for you. So what brings you up here?"

  "You of course, I just wanted to see your face when I tell you I got brought on at a house!"

  For those of you who are wondering what he could possibly be talking about, Ash started at the fire academy when I took my brief break from him. It’s a fire house.

  "That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you!"

  "Thank you. That means a lot. I'm not on payroll until I finish, but I am volunteering which is just as cool to me. Anyway, do you want to go out and celebrate? Or did you already have plans?"

  "I would love to celebrate this with you. What did you have in mind?"

  "We could go up to ‘51’?"

  I could puke at the thought. But then no one works there anymore. Why would it be so bad?

  "That sounds great. Do you want to drive separate or take one car?"

  "Do you have to ask? If it’s about what I want, then you are coming home with me tonight. Which means your car stays where it is."

  "A little presumptuous, aren’t you?"

  "Hopeful is more like it."

  "It’s your night. You can have it any way you want it?"

  "Any way?"

  "Stop being so dirty! I meant about celebrating."

  "Oh princess, that would be all the more reason for me to celebrate."

  "If you’re lucky big boy."

  He grabbed my hand and led me to his car. He opened the door for me and as I was getting in he said, "Glad you think so." He closed the door before I could respond. When he got in himself I said, "Oh, I most certainly do."

  He looked over to me and smiled. "You are a dirty girl, aren’t you?"

  "You might get lucky enough one day to find out."

  "I'm counting on that."

  We pulled in to ‘51’ and the place was packed. We didn’t have to wait in line because I knew the door guy, which was nice. The front bar still looked odd without Dave, Bryan or Geoff. Ash was holding my hand as he led me over to a bar stool that was open. At first I was unsure about what people would think of me openly being here with Ash, but then I realized that I shouldn’t give two shits. This was my life to live and I was with a man that makes me happy.

  "What are you thinking you want to start out with?"

  I looked back at Ash and a huge smile crossed my face. There was the reassurance I needed.

  "I will have whatever you’re having. It’s your night."

  "Well in that case, let’s do a shot."

  "Whatever you want."

  "Then Jagermeister it is."

  "Nooooo! That's the black licorice stuff."

  "You said whatever I wanted."

  "Fine, for you I will, but only one."

  "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

  "Then I really suck."

  "Hopefully well and I hope to get to find out."

  "You’re on a roll tonight."

  "You are just too easy to tease." He tickled me a little under my arm to let me know he was just playing around which made me smile. I already knew that, but it made me feel good to know he cared enough to make sure.

  "So what are we drinking?"

  "You seem to like Alabama slammers. We could do that?"

  "Bring it on."

  After several shots we decided to go dance. On our wa, I spotted Dave. I pointed him out to Ash and so he and I walked over.

  "Dave," I shouted over the noise of the crowd. He spun around and his face lit up.

  "What's up, guys? Didn't think I would see you tonight."

  "Ash and I are celebrating."

  Ash looked embarrassed and said, "It’s really nothing big."

  I looked at him puzzled, but he looked like he wanted me to drop it, so I did.

  "Well big deal or not, congrats on whatever it is. So Sadie, you know graduation is in two weeks. I was thinking about having a party the weekend before, since most of our families will be in town the weekend of it and then we all move back home. Ash, you’re more than welcome to come too."

  "So, next weekend?" I pointed out.

  "Shit. That is next weekend. I have way more to do than I thought. Angie is going to have her work cut out."

  "I can help. Tell her to give me a call if she needs anything."

  "Thanks, Sadie. I gotta get going. I just came up to grab my last paycheck. It was great to see you two again."

  "You too, dude. Glad we ran into you."

  I hugged Dave and said, "Make sure you tell her she can call me."

  "Will do." and then he walked off leaving me to look at Ash with a questionable glare.

  "Why couldn't I tell Dave about the firehouse?"

  "It’s nothing big, Sadie. I'm a volunteer."

  "Well, I am proud of you regardless."

  Ash spun me around and then set me down, "That's why I like you so much."

  He leaned down to kiss me and then said, "Let’s dance."

  We got out on that dance floor and were putting people to shame. Ash was a man that had rhythm and I loved to watch him move. I did everything in my power to be as seductive as I could without looking trashy. I walked slowly, enticing him around his backside and started to grind on him. He moved with me and I could tell he was enjoying it. I dropped lower and lower circling my hips so he could feel my movements. Unfortunately I got a little too low and between the alcohol and my heels, yep, I fell flat on my ass. I was mortified so I hurried up and was back on my feet by the time Ash turned around. He grabbed me and pulled me to him, rubbing up against me. Damn, that was a close one. He did not even notice. We kept dancing, until this really drunk guy walked up and said "smooth recovery."

  Ash leaned down into me and said, "What did he say?"

  "Oh nothing, he said we look good together."

  "No, he didn’t. That's too many words but I'm glad you think so."

  Shit! How do I change the subject?

  "Ash, I absolutely do."

  That earned a smile and he forgot all about the guy, score! We danced for a good hour more before I was tired and thirsty. I convinced him to give up his Chris Brown imitations and come get a drink with me. When I complained about my feet hurting, he gave me a piggyback ride to the bar. He managed to find another empty barstool to sit me on when I heard, "Well, aren’t you two cute?"

  I turned to find Lindsey and Kaleb standing behind Ash.

  "Hey guys! When did you get here?"

  Kaleb walked over to Ash, put his hand on Ash’s shoulder and said, "Early enough, thank God, that we got to see Sadie fall on her ass and watch you Ash, miss it completely. That was fucking classic guys."

  Ash looked puzzled and right at me. "What is he talking about?" I was as red as a beet. I can’t believe Kaleb outed me.

  I couldn’t say anything and my eyes were bulging out of my head.

  I guess Lindsey decided to answer for me when she said, "When Sadie was dancing with you from behind, she wiped out. It was funny, Sadie. Come on, don't be mad."

  "I hate you both, very much." They were cracking up and so was Ash. This was awful.

  "Why didn't you just tell me? You hid, thinking I wouldn't know?” He couldn’t even speak clearly he was laughing so hard.

  "How would you have known?"

  "Is that what that dude out there said when you lied to me? At this point he was laughing so hard he was holding his stomach. "Oh my God, it is! Hahahahahh.”

  I walked away.

  "Sadie, don't go." I kept walking.

  "Sadie" He was now following me and I was so humiliated, I ducked into the restroom. Why did I just not admit I fell? This is so stupid. I walked back out and Ash was waiting outside the door with both his hands up.

  “I’m sorry I laughed, Sadie.”

  "No you’re not."

  He grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye and said, "You’re right, I'm not. But don't run again. You have to admit it’s funny."
/>
  "It would be hilarious if it wasn't me."

  "It’s still hilarious."

  "You’re not being nice. No sex for you tonight."

  "Were you really planning on having sex with me tonight?"

  "Nope, now let’s go get another drink."

  "Now who's not being nice? That was just mean. You’re on for that drink though, oh and Sadie?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Walk in front of me. Just in case you fall, so I can catch you this time."

  I just threw my hands up and walked back to Kaleb and Lindsay.

  "Were you seriously mad about that? We were just having fun." Lindsey wasn’t going to let this go.

  "No Lindsey, I wasn't mad. Do you guys want a drink?"

  "Sure. What are you having?"

  I was about to answer when I heard, "Ash, did it not work out with Cindy?" It was Kaleb this time.

  "Lindsey, I'm going to have a Red bull and vodka, you?"

  Then Ash answered, "No, it sure didn't."

  "How did you and Sadie end up together though? I don't get it?" I wanted to answer for Ash, but I didn’t want them to know I was listening.

  "I’ll have the same thing as you, girl."

  "What?'

  "To drink, I will have the same thing as you."

  "Oh, okay."

  I was trying to hear Ash’s answer but all I got was, "She's special."

  And that was all I needed to hear. I leaned over the bar and ordered a couple of beers for the guys and Lindsey and my drinks. We sat around talking until it was almost last call. Ash had switched to water after the last beer I gave him so he could drive us back to his place. We all said goodbye and decided that we would get together and go out again soon. When I got in to Ash’s car, I realized how exhausted I was. He promised to give me a massage when we got back to his place. I thought that sounded great and was about to tell him when my phone went off with a notification. It was a text from Tony.

  Tony: JUST THOUGHT U SHOULD KNOW HE LEFT EARLY. HE IS GONE. IF U NEED ME CALL ANYTIME.

  It shocked me a little, but not like I thought it would. I was just going to call Tony back later and went to put my phone away when Ash asked, "Everything alright?"

  I had to think about how to answer that but finally I settled with, "Yeah, I really think it’s going to be."

  He grabbed my hand and we rode that way until I fell asleep.

  When we got to Ash's I was still asleep until I felt him try to lift me out of the car. I started to wake up, so I said, "You don't have to carry me. I can walk."

  "Shhh, I like taking care of you. Let me."

  I grabbed him around the neck and he carried me through the house, up the stairs and into his bedroom, where he softly placed me in bed. Ash slowly took off my shoes trying not to wake me. Then he covered me with the blanket. I did start to fall back asleep until Ash climbed into bed with me. He pulled me close to him and then kissed my forehead.

  "You truly are amazing. Thank you for tonight."

  I didn't move to look at him but I did manage to say," I'm so proud of you" before I did surrender to sleep.

  It was the day of Dave’s party and it felt weird knowing Colt wouldn’t be there. I have not heard from him yet. I say yet because I couldn’t accept that I would never hear his voice again. Tony and I talked the other night and he told me that Colt had met the requirements already to graduate, so there was no need for him to take the finals. He chose to move immediately for reasons no one knew. Maybe there were too many memories he was ready to leave behind. The thought that I might have fallen in that category still hurts. Then add the fact that I haven’t heard a thing from him, it made it feel all the more possible.

  Angie did end up calling me, but only to tell me she had it all covered. I wanted to do something to contribute so I asked if I could at least pick up the keg. She willingly handed that part over to me, of course, since it is heavy as hell.

  Ash finally agreed to come with me after a lot of begging on my part. I understood his point when he explained that he wouldn’t know anyone other than Bryan and Dave. But I told him that the only way he could possibly get to know them was to come today and meet them. I was on my way to his house when my phone rang. It was Tony, so I answered.

  "Hey you."

  "What's up, girly? What are you doing?"

  "I'm on my way to meet Ash, what about you?"

  "I'm sitting at the liquor store waiting on them to bring out the keg you so kindly made my responsibility."

  "I said please and now I can say thank you. Don't act like it's hard. You have bigger muscles than me."

  "That I do. So, are you going to be okay today? I know it is going to be hard saying goodbye, but please don't turn into a cry baby."

  "Why would you say something so mean? I'm not a cry baby."

  "If you say so. Hey, I gotta go. They're finally ready to load this."

  "Alright, see you soon."

  I pulled into Ash's driveway and saw a car I didn’t recognize. I got out and went to the front door for the first time since I met him. We have always gone in through the garage but for some reason, doing it now seemed wrong. I rang the doorbell and waited for Ash to answer. The longer I waited the more uncomfortable I got. After way too long, Ash came to the door in a towel. What a sight to see. His body will never get old. He opened the door and greeted me with a kiss. In His Towel! I wanted to rip it off of him right there on the spot.

  "You look sexy as hell, Sadie."

  "Me? You’re in a damn towel."

  "Well that's because you’re early. You like what you see?"

  "That's a stupid question. I'm not going to say what I would like to do to that towel standing on your front porch."

  "Come in then. I would love to find out what it is you would like to do. Why did you come through the front door anyway?"

  I walked in and said, "There is a car in the driveway. I didn't know if you had company?"

  "No. Just Kate."

  "Your sister is here?"

  "That would be me. Hi, I'm Kate. It's nice to meet you."

  I turned to see a stunning brunette with crystal clear blue eyes. She was taller than me but not by much. Freckles sprinkled over her nose too. Beautiful was an understatement.

  "Hi, I'm Sadie. It’s nice to meet you also."

  "It is nice to put a face to the name I've been hearing a lot of lately. You’re very pretty."

  How embarrassing.

  "Thank you. So are you."

  "Okay, hello? So I'm still standing here in a towel and Sadie, you need to come show me what your plans were?"

  Now I'm mortified! Did he really just say that?

  "What are you taking about?"

  "On that note, I think it's my time to leave."

  "Kate, please don't leave. I have no intention of touching your brother, more or less what he's insinuating."

  "That's not what you said two seconds ago."

  "Ash, shut up!"

  "It’s okay, Sadie. I heard you also. Go have fun you guys and I will call you later Ash."

  "Is that when you want the details?"

  "Oh my God!" I wanted to kill him!!!

  "It’s fine. He's my little brother. I am used to it. See ya later. Sadie, it was very nice meeting you."

  "You too."

  She walked out the door and I turned to Ash fuming mad.

  "Are you fucking kidding me? I meet your sister for the first time and you make me look like some slut you mess around with."

  He dropped his towel. DROPPED THE TOWEL, GUYS.

  "Are you still mad, because I find it sexy as hell?"

  My jaw would not move back in place. He was standing at attention, if you know what I mean. He moved closer to me and I stuck my arms out to stop him but he kept advancing on me. When he moved closer, my hands ended up pressed against his hip bones, right above his protruding member.

  "This doesn't change anything."

  "Sadie, this changes everything."

  He slowl
y dropped his head taking his lips and pressing them to mine. He was being so careful and sensual it had me stunned. Ash slowly started to release one button at a time on my blouse until he could push it off my shoulders, leaving me exposed in my bra only. He never broke his connection with my lips when he reached for my hands and laid them down at my sides. I hated losing my connection but then his arms moved up so his hands could travel to my back to unclasp my bra. They then traveled further up my back, moving to my shoulders, where he placed his fingers under the strap on each side. He slid them back down my arms until they fell from my wrists, leaving me completely exposed. Ash took a step back and said, "Magnificent."

  He took the step forward again this time letting the front of his hands enter my waist band so he could use his thumbs to unbutton my pants. When he pulled them over my hips and began to slide them down my legs, I was enamored by how erotic this felt. I stepped out of the pants and then my panties. Ash stood back up but as he rose his fingertips grazed my legs, then stomach, ending at my neck. He took my lips and kissed me one last time before he spoke again.

  "Sadie, you have no idea how much I want you right now, but you know my conditions."

  Speaking didn’t seem natural at this moment. I had to force the words to come out and even then I could only manage two.

  "I agree."

  The look of shock on his face was priceless but then it was gone and replaced by lust.

  "I have never loved two words as much as I now love those."

  He came at me like a completely different man than before. He was on a mission. We were still standing in his foyer for goodness sake. He was now down on his knees with his arms wrapped around my waist kissing my stomach and climbing higher. I rested my hands on his head and it felt so good to let him guide them with his mouth moving up until it wrapped around one of my nipples. I let my head fall back and a moan came from my soul. This was not like the other times we have been together. Every part felt different, better. When he pulled back from one he moved to the other. This was such a sensitive part of my body and his tongue knew just what to do to bring it to its full potential of sensation. He released me and then came back up to my mouth. I could stand right here until the test of time came but Ash had a different idea in mind.

  "I can't believe this is real. You are really going to be mine and no one else's. Sadie, I would love to stop right here and tell you our first time is going to be so romantic. That I'm going to fly us to a private island and I will have the whole room showered in flowers and candles. But I can't wait that long. Are you sure you’re okay with us being here?"