“It’s all right,” he says. “And thank you.”
“If there’s anything I can do…” I trail off, even though I don’t think there is. I don’t think he’ll want to talk to a stranger about how he’s feeling, and I don’t think baking him something will help.
Shit.
Maybe I should just stop talking.
Chapter Three
Xander
Anything she can do to help?
Images of her lying out bare before me flash through my head.
Fuck, she is a beauty.
A natural beauty.
Midnight black, thick, long hair that I want to run my hands through. Clear, porcelain skin, and wide blue eyes that stare back at you like she can see into your soul. A pouty red mouth that I want to taste and a lush, curvy figure that I wouldn’t mind exploring.
She’s also off limits.
Just my fucking luck.
When I saw her standing at the bar tonight, I was drawn to her. She has a rare natural beauty to her, a much-understated beauty. I knew I had to talk to her. And she’s sweet—soft-spoken, kind and sweet. Every time she blushed, I wanted to push her against the closest wall and have my way with her. Taste her sweetness. Keep it for only me. I don’t remember ever being so instantly attracted to a woman in my life.
And she’s connected to Zach somehow, which changes things.
Although he said she wasn’t his woman, his actions say differently. He also asked her if she is going home with him tonight, and she said yes without hesitation. Are they just casual fuck buddies? For some reason, I don’t like that. This girl, Trillian, deserves more.
Trillian.
An unusual name, but it suits her. It’s pretty and unique.
Fuck, am I going to start writing poetry or some shit soon?
Why did she dance with me, take a ride with me? Especially if she’d never been on the back of a bike before. I don’t understand this girl. Sure, we didn’t kiss or anything like that. Technically, we didn’t do anything friends wouldn’t do, but it felt like more. She doesn’t know me, but she took a chance on me, she trusted me. She wanted to be around me, let me take her around.
Zach stared at her with adoration and genuine affection in his eyes, like he worships the ground she walks on. And he should. A short time in her presence and I can tell that her beauty isn’t only skin deep. She’s a woman that, if you get her, you keep her. A good woman. Wife material.
She obviously has something to do with Zach, so I’m not going to go there. I’m not going to stay here for long, so it isn’t like I have anything to offer her other than a casual fuck or two.
“How old are you?” I ask her.
“Twenty-two,” she replies out of that sensual mouth of hers.
Twenty-two, she’s the same age as Zach and me. Yet she seems younger somehow.
Innocent.
“Have you lived in Channon your whole life?” I find myself asking.
She nods, looking down at her hands again. “Born and bred.”
“Are you happy here?”
She glances up and smiles. “I am. I love it here, although I would like to travel at some point.”
“You haven’t been anywhere?” I ask, my eyes widening.
She grins. “I’ve been around Australia, yes, and I’ve been to Bali. That’s it.”
I chew on a piece of ice from my whiskey as she continues, “I’m still young. I have time.”
She finishes the last of the water and places the bottle on the bar.
“Do you want me to get you another bottle?” I ask her.
“No,” she says. “But thank you, Xander. You’re very sweet, you know that?”
I shrug like it’s no big deal, but really, I like hearing it.
I was so fucked.
“I don’t know about that,” I mumble.
She puts her hand on my shoulder. “I hope we can hang out a bit before you go. I could show you around town if Zach is busy.”
I wonder if she knows Zach is a biker. She has to know. She’s lived in this town her whole life, so she obviously knows who the Wind Dragons MC is.
“I’d like that,” I tell her.
If Zach doesn’t have a problem with it, of course.
I see Grim, Zach’s dad, walking up to us.
“Xander,” he says, slapping me on the back. “Good to see you, son.”
“Good to be here, Grim,” I say, staring into the eyes of one of my dad’s very best friends. Grim is a good man and a tough leader of the Wind Dragons MC. He’s one person you don’t want to cross, but at the same time if he likes you, he is fiercely loyal and a good friend to have in your corner. He looks down at Trillian and smiles. “Look at you, darlin’, you look pretty. Anyone I need to beat the shit out of for not keeping their hands to themselves?”
Trillian laughs and I hang on to the sound. “No, I’m good, but thanks, Grim.”
Grim smiles back and nods. “Where’s that son of mine?”
“Out on the dance floor,” I tell him.
Grim sighs. “When does that boy ever have his dick in his pants?”
I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I heard Trillian mumble, “Whenever he’s at my house.”
I am fucking confused. Is Trillian with him or not?
Grim glances at me, then at Trillian, then back at me.
“Trill’s a good girl,” he suddenly says, eyes narrowing.
I nod. “I know.”
Message received.
“Good,” he replies. “I’ll see you around, Xander. Bye, Trill, darling. Get home safe, you hear me?”
“I will. Bye, Grim,” Trillian says, her eyes going back to the dance floor.
I turn away from her, my eyes scanning the crowd. Zach is dancing with some other girl now, but Trillian doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe they have an open relationship. Zach hasn’t mentioned anyone named Trillian before. Maybe it’s a new thing.
Either way, I’m not getting a taste of her. It isn’t happening, so I need to stop thinking about it. I didn’t come here for this, to start something with someone. I came here to try to sort myself out, to work on a few things. To learn how to deal with being here without my dad. The last thing I need is to be hung up on a girl that I can’t have and don’t deserve.
Zach returns with a girl walking behind him. “Xander, this is…”
He looks down at the girl.
“Paulina,” she says.
“Paulina, right, I knew that,” he says, looking amused. “Paulina, why don’t you show my buddy Xander here a good time?”
She’s pretty enough with a nice figure and blonde hair. Her red lips are from a tube, not natural colour like Trillian has. She sits on my lap and rubs herself against me. I glance at Trillian to see her stand up, say something to Zach, and then head for the dance floor. Zach follows her, but not before sending a smirk my way.
I ignore the pang of regret that I feel as she walks away from me.
I don’t get to have everything I want, and I know that.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” she purrs in my ear. “Do you want to leave?”
Do I want to leave?
I glance over and watch Zach pull Trillian in for a dance.
Yeah, I want to leave.
With Trillian.
But that isn’t happening.
Paula—is that her name?—licks the shell of my ear and I think, why not?
I have nothing to lose and a night of pleasure is just what I need.
It’s been a while—about two months. That might not be long for some, but it is for me.
“Come home with me,” she purrs once more. “Trust me, you won’t regret it. No won’t be in my vocabulary tonight.”
My eyes widen at that.
I stand and allow her to lead me out.
Do I have condoms in my wallet? I’m pretty sure I have two. That’s going to have to do for tonight because there is no way in hell I’m going to take her without any protection. If she’s this easy for
me, she’s likely this easy for others. Not a nice thing to say, but it’s the truth.
We get into a taxi because I didn’t want to take her on my bike. I can pick it up tomorrow.
She gives me head on the way home.
Classy, I know, but I’m not complaining.
I come in her mouth, wishing it were another.
Fuck, how has she gotten to me after only meeting her once?
It’s stupid.
I push her out of my mind and allow myself to enjoy the rest of the night. Uncomplicated, meaningless, dirty sex.
That’s just what I need.
Chapter Four
Trillian
After Xander had left last night, I stayed and tried to enjoy the rest of the night. I danced with Zach and April, and two hours later, Zach and I dropped a drunk April off at her house before going back to ours. He didn’t mention Xander and neither did I. He walked me to my door as he usually does and waited for me to get inside safely before heading to his own house.
This morning, I woke up later than I was supposed to. I pressed snooze four times on my alarm, then had a shower and got dressed quickly for work. Walking out my door, a cup of coffee in my hand, already five minutes late for work, I rush to my car. This is definitely a first. I know my boss won’t be mad at me for that reason alone, but still, I hate to be late for anything. I place the cup of coffee on top of my car as I unlock the doors. When a taxi stops in front of Zach’s house and I see Xander slide out, I quickly look away. My chest tightens to the point of pain. I don’t know why it hurts so much that he spent the night with that woman.
Disappointment—that’s what I’m feeling.
Pure, utter disappointment.
He obviously isn’t attracted to me in that way and I have to accept that. Unable to stop myself, I glance up to see his eyes on me. I see him grimace slightly, caught doing the walk of shame.
Is it even called that for a man?
Not wanting it to be awkward, I force myself to say something. “Hey, Xander.”
It isn’t his fault that he doesn’t want me. We can be friends. I can keep the fact that I am attracted to him more than I’ve ever been attracted to anyone before in my life to myself.
“Hey, Trillian,” he says in that husky voice of his. He stares at my house and then looks back at me. “You live next door?”
I nod. “I do. Didn’t Zach mention that?”
He scowls. “No, no, he didn’t. He’s spoken about his neighbour before, but I didn’t realise it was you.”
“Oh,” I say. “Well, yeah, that’s me. Anyway, I’ll see you around. I hope you had fun last night.”
I cringe, covering my face with my hair, using it as a shield.
Yes, I just said that.
Kill me now.
I get into my car and pull out of the driveway, only to see Xander standing there watching me. Forcing myself to look away, I turn right onto the road. I have to get to work. I don’t have time to think about Xander and what he was up to last night. It doesn’t even matter anymore. So I have a little crush on him, big deal. It isn’t like I’m in love with him. I just met him, for Christ’s sake.
When I arrive at work, I realise that I left the coffee on top of my car and drove away with it.
No wonder Xander was staring.
He must think I’m a complete idiot.
Cringing, I cover my face with my hands for a second before getting a wet cloth from work to wipe the coffee from my car. Then, with a heavy sigh, I walk back into Candy Creamery to start my shift.
*****
I’m about to clock out when Richard walks in. I remember what Amanda said about him coming out last night, but I didn’t see him.
“Hey, Richard, what can I get you?” I ask politely.
“The usual, please,” he says, smiling. “I was hoping to see you last night, but apparently, I just missed you.”
Well, that explains it.
I scoop up some chocolate ice cream and put it in a wafer cone. “Yeah, it was a good night.”
Richard shifts on his feet. “Are you seeing anyone, Trillian?”
I hand him the cone and bite my bottom lip. How do you explain to someone that no, you aren’t seeing anyone, but you also aren’t interested, without hurting their feelings? There is nothing wrong with Richard, and I’m sure he would make a woman very lucky, but that woman isn’t going to be me.
“No, I’m not,” I mumble, taking the ten-dollar note from his hand as he reaches out with it.
“Are you free next weekend? I thought maybe I could…” He trails off and I lift my eyes from the cash register to see Zach walking in. He stands next to Richard.
“Trill, gimme some ice cream,” Zach says, grinning.
I shake my head.
He’s standing here, dressed in all black, wearing his cut, demanding ice cream like a little kid.
“Wait your turn, Zach,” I tell him, giving Richard back his change, and then offering him an apologetic smile.
“I guess I’ll talk to you next time,” Richard says. “Have a good day, Trillian.”
Zach eyes him as he leaves, waiting for him to exit before he speaks. “He wants you. Bad.”
“He was about to ask me out,” I admit.
Zach smirks. “Like he has a chance.”
I make him a cookies and cream cone. “And why would you say that? He’s good looking and nice enough.”
He shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets. “Not your type.”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t have a type.”
I don’t have much experience with men. I may not be a virgin, but I haven’t had that much sex, either.
“So, what brings you here? I’m surprised you’re even out of bed.”
I hand him the ice cream cone and put my hand out for the money.
Zach grins and hands me a twenty. “I actually need a favour.”
“Of course you do,” I mutter. “What do you need?”
“I got some club shit going on tonight, so I was wondering if maybe you could keep Xander company?” he asks.
I hand him his change and think about how to answer this. Zach knows I would have no plans tonight, but I don’t want to be alone with Xander. Not only do I turn into a bumbling idiot, but after last night and this morning, it’s going to be extremely awkward.
“Can’t he hang out with that chick from last night?” I ask. He did sleep with her, after all. Surely, he would be more comfortable around her.
Zach chuckles. “She was an easy lay. He’s not going to see her again.”
It’s a small town, but I don’t bother to point that out. I still run into Cain, the guy I lost my virginity to at seventeen. Yeah, not so good times.
“I saw him coming in this morning,” I say. “He didn’t even know I lived next door.”
Zack licks his ice cream, then answers. “I know, he asked me why I didn’t tell him.”
“Why didn’t you?” I ask, curious.
He shrugs. “I saw him staring at you last night. I didn’t want him to make you feel awkward. I know how you get. You freeze up, then try to think of an excuse to turn the guy down without hurting him, but end up saying yes last minute anyway.”
Do I do that?
I think back to Richard only moments ago. Would I have given in and said yes just to avoid hurting his feelings?
Maybe.
Shit, I am a pushover.
“And what if I was interested?” I ask, staring Zach straight in the eye.
“In Xander?” he asks with his mouth dropping open.
“If you repeat this conversation, I will kill you in your sleep,” I growl, leaning over the counter.
Zach rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. “Fuck, Trill. He’s just passing through, and you aren’t a casual kind of girl.”
I’m really not. But I’ve also never wanted someone the way I want Xander. I sigh and lean on my elbows. “It doesn’t matter. Fine, I’ll hang out with Xander tonight.”
&n
bsp; “Wait a minute, you wanted Xander? And then I set him up with that…” he trails off, scowling.
“It’s fine,” I say. “I just thought he was good-looking. No big deal.” I try to play it off.
“Why didn’t you say something, Trill? Shit, I’ve brought so many of my brothers around you and you didn’t even bat an eyelash. How was I supposed to know who would catch your interest?”
I stand up straight. “Doesn’t matter.”
Zach is still staring at me, wide-eyed. “In the years I’ve known you, you’ve never, ever, even fuckin’ once admitted to liking someone even a little bit. It does matter.”
I decide to be blunt. “Like you said, he’s just passing through and he’s already found someone to keep him busy while he’s here, so please, just forget we ever had this conversation.”
“Fine,” he mumbles. “Now I feel like shit.”
“Well, don’t,” I reply. “I’m obviously not his type anyway, and that’s okay.”
I’m his Richard, if that makes sense.
“What the fuck do you mean, you’re his Richard? Are you crazy?” Zach snaps at me.
Shit, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
My boss decides to walk in at that moment. She smiles at Zach and tells me I can clock out. Zach follows me to my car, muttering under his breath the whole way. I unlock the door and open it.
“See you at home.”
“Trill—”
I turn to him. “Please don’t embarrass me with this.”
“Fine,” he says, holding the door open for me to slide in. Before he shuts it, he leans down and says quietly, “You deserve the best, you know that, right?”
I puff out a breath. “See you later, Zach.”
He closes the door and I drive home.
Chapter Five
Xander
“If you’re busy tonight, that’s cool. I didn’t expect you to drop your life when I came here,” I tell Zach, who is playing a video game.
“I have some shit at the clubhouse I need to be there for, but Trillian said she would come over and take you out somewhere,” he replies, staring at the screen.
I clear my throat. I had wanted to ask more about her all day, but was waiting for an opening. “So the two of you never hooked up?” I ask.
Time Will Tell Page 3