“I wanted to see you, too, Riku.”
Why had he felt so disgusting when he heard those words?
“Kairi…” Riku turned to look at the mast. He could almost see her sleeping there, like a phantom.
But without her heart…it wasn’t Kairi at all. That’s why I wanted to get her heart back. Except…I wasn’t the one who could.
Worse than that—I was here commanding the Heartless, trying to destroy Sora.
“Heh…”
Riku turned at the sudden intrusion of another voice. “Who’s there?!”
A shadow rose unsteadily up from under his feet until it was standing in front of him.
“Ha-ha!” The shadow attacked.
Right—I controlled Sora’s shadow here and made it fight him. His own pitch-black shadow…
The thing facing Riku now looked like his shadow or that of his former self from when he’d used the powers of darkness.
As he swung at the shadow with Soul Eater, a dark aura came over him.
“Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!” The shadow laughed at Riku, who was cloaked again in darkness, and disappeared.
“Is it…really this hopeless?” Riku stared at his hands, wreathed in dark power. The moon still shone down on him.
In a dark room, he gazed into the crystal ball.
Inside the crystal ball, Riku was staring down at his hands.
“That one is afraid of the dark,” Vexen whispered to him.
From his expression, it was impossible to say what the boy might be feeling.
“But you are different, aren’t you? You have no fear of the dark.”
The boy nodded in reply.
“Now go. Let the darkness into you. And defeat him!”
He nodded once more and left the room.
Riku went through the gently rocking ship. All he found, of course, were Heartless—the same as those Heartless he had once commanded. Up on the quarterdeck, when he saw Sora and Kairi, they were only illusions. He couldn’t find the people he truly wanted to see.
Are there only dark things in the worlds of my memories? …Does that mean I belong to the darkness?
That can’t be right…
Riku’s Soul Eater sliced through the Heartless.
It felt like every time he fought, the stench of darkness clinging to him grew worse.
“Why…why is this happening?!” The harder he tried to run from it, the stronger it became.
Riku stood in the hold next to the captain’s cabin.
“If you have to hurt someone else to get her heart back, that’s just going to make her sad!” The words Sora had shouted to him in this place seemed to echo in his ears.
Is this my punishment? Do I deserve this because I tried to take back Kairi’s heart by using the darkness?
“Just believe. The light’ll never give up on you. You’ll always find it, even in the deepest darkness!”
That’s what the king told me. But I still can’t believe in it.
No one stays with me… Not even the king.
How can I get this darkness out of me…?
Riku ran down the stairs and back out onto the deck. The night wind was cool on his face, so refreshing it was easy to take it in and not think of anything at all.
Carried over the ocean, it felt a little bit like the winds that blew on Destiny Island. That was comforting.
But…
“Well, now, boy, what’s happened to that bold spirit of yours?” The voice rang out over the deck. Riku looked up.
It was Hook—one of those who had worked with Maleficent, and the captain of the ship.
“So there you are.” Riku raised Soul Eater. “If I get rid of you, I’ll be able to leave, is that the deal?”
“You’d turn your sword against an old shipmate?” Hook sneered, with a much more cruel smile even than Riku remembered. “If you greet your friends with the end of a sword, you’ll only end up alone.”
“When were you ever my friend?!” Riku lunged forward. Hook caught the Soul Eater with his namesake, the hook he had in place of one hand.
“I was once, wasn’t I? You belonged to the darkness—like us!”
“I did not!”
“Lying to yourself—bad form!” Hook pushed Riku back and sent him sprawling.
“I’m not lying to anyone! I only went along with you because I was trying to help Kairi!”
“Do you think the reason matters? You were one of us. And now you’d betray your fellows?”
“Shut up!”
Hook was never my friend—and neither was Maleficent. Sora and Kairi are my friends!
“Good—you’ll give more strength to the darkness that way, Riku!”
“I’m not letting it get any stronger!” Riku got to his feet and lifted his sword again.
“Is that so? Take a look at yourself, my boy!”
Prompted, Riku looked. The darkness was spreading around him again—the smell of it!
“No matter where you go, you will never escape the dark.” Hook’s sword drove Riku into a corner.
“You’re wrong…!” Riku whirled, swinging Soul Eater hard, as if trying to shake off the aura of darkness that surrounded him.
“Accept the darkness in yourself, Riku!”
“Stop talking!”
Riku’s strike connected and Hook vanished on the spot.
“I don’t need the darkness…,” Riku said under his breath, lowering Soul Eater.
Why…is this happening…?
I don’t need the darkness. These people aren’t my friends.
More and more, I can’t trust myself.
Is this the truth I’m searching for? That I can’t win without the power of darkness? That I have to just give up and let it take me?
He saw a little door at the corner of the deck.
Now he felt like he didn’t want to know the truth.
The truth about himself…
“Just believe.”
He could hear the king’s voice from somewhere.
“Believe in what?” Riku muttered at the king, who wasn’t even there.
He didn’t know what to believe.
“Even in the deepest darkness, there’s always a little bit of light.”
“I don’t understand…” Riku shook his head.
The harder he tried to fight the darkness inside him, the stronger it seemed to grow… He was afraid.
Afraid of himself. Of the darkness within himself.
And he couldn’t trust himself.
“Just believe, Riku.”
The king’s words again. That voice had strength in it and kindness… Riku still couldn’t believe in himself yet, but he felt like he could believe in what King Mickey told him.
“…Okay. I will, Your Majesty,” he said softly and stepped toward the door.
He waited for Riku in the marble hall.
Silent.
A Nobody created him…so who was he?
There was no need to harbor such doubts.
What filled his heart were dark feelings.
He wasn’t sure whether those were thoughts he’d been given or things that had been inside him all along.
The door opened.
The one who walked through was a boy who looked just like him.
“Huh?! What are you?” the newcomer blurted.
“Surprised?” he said, laughing.
“You’re…” Riku glared at the boy in front of him.
“You should be surprised. After all, I look just like you!” If I were in his place, I’d be shocked, he thought. “I am an exact replica of you that Vexen made from your data.”
The boy who looked exactly like Riku—the Replica—gloated.
“So you’re a fake me.” Riku held up Soul Eater, ready to fight.
“…Not a ‘fake’!” the Replica said through gritted teeth, looking clearly upset. “You think you’re better just because you’re the ‘real’ one? We have the same body and the same talents. But there is one easy way to tell us apart. Un
like you, I fear nothing!”
The Replica raised a sword that looked no different from Riku’s Soul Eater.
“Are you…calling me a coward?” Riku snarled.
“You’re afraid of the dark! You’re so scared of the darkness inside yourself, you don’t even know what to do!”
The Replica saw what was in his heart as if he could read it like a book. This fear of the darkness inside him—his terror. The Replica was a copy of Riku, body and mind, and he knew everything.
But the Replica didn’t know what it was to feel fear. He didn’t need to.
He had no self of his own—so he just had to become Riku.
If he became Riku and used the power of darkness the way it was meant to be used, then he would be better than the original.
“I’m different,” said the Replica. “I embrace the darkness. I can make it do whatever I want.”
He was made to be one with the darkness. That was the whole meaning of his existence…
“So you’ll never win against me!” the Replica crowed and leaped at Riku. The swords met with a clang! that he felt through his body. It was the first thing he’d ever felt—the proof that he was real.
Riku’s eyes flashed as he looked at the Replica and furiously flung him back.
He’s strong…
They should have had the same strength, and yet Riku was this strong.
Is it because I don’t know how to use my power yet? Having fallen to his knees, the Replica got up again and glared at Riku.
“Hey, fake me…” Riku slowly walked toward him. “Thought I heard you say I’d never win against you.”
Riku pointed Soul Eater at the Replica’s throat.
“Hmph. Don’t forget, I’m still new. I’ll get stronger and stronger. It won’t be long before I’m stronger than you,” the Replica retorted, standing up tall. “So the next time we fight, you’re finished!”
There’s no way I’ll lose. Because I’m not afraid of the darkness.
“There won’t be a next time. I’d rather finish this now!” Riku was about to swing Soul Eater, but the Replica raised his sword, too. “Wha—?!”
Something flung Riku back, hard. A dark aura swirled around the Replica.
“Ha-ha! It’s nice having darkness on my side. How can you be so scared of something that feels so thrilling? You really are missing out!” Laughing, he looked down at Riku.
“Enough!” Riku snapped.
“Hmph. So now the coward is playing tough. So long, Real Thing! Don’t miss me too much!”
“Hey, wait!”
The Replica turned away and ran.
Riku was strong.
Much stronger than me, he thought. But I’m him and he’s me…
I was so sure that if I could use the darkness better, I’d be stronger than the original. That was what Vexen told me, too.
The Replica kept running. It was the first time he ever had. It felt good. Everything did.
The fact that he had strength in himself, that he would be able to take the power of darkness…
This was fun.
“So, how was it, fighting the real thing?” said a voice from behind him.
The Replica came to a halt. “He’s spineless. In no time at all, I’ll be better than him,” he replied quietly without turning to look at Vexen. A smile tugged at his mouth.
“In the meantime,” said Vexen, “how would you like the opportunity to meet another hero?”
Another hero… He knew the name. It was in his memories. The hero of light…
“Sora, you mean? I heard he’s somewhere in the castle. You want me to take care of him?”
“We’ll see…but yes. I intend to make good use of you.”
Something in the way Vexen said that irritated him, but it didn’t matter now. He was supposed to be stronger than anyone else, and he wanted to test his power.
“No worries,” he said breezily. “The real Riku was nothing. Sora won’t be any match for me, either.”
“Then we’ll be going…aboveground.” Vexen placed his hand on the Replica’s shoulder. The air around them seemed to tremble, and the Replica closed his eyes.
I’m stronger… I won’t lose.
The voice that echoed in his heart—whose was it?
Is it mine or is it Riku’s?
“It looks as though they’ve made contact with the hero of light as well,” said Vexen.
The Replica looked up to see an enormous door. They must have teleported from the basement to the upper floors of the castle. “What’s through there…?”
“A gang of the organization’s underlings. They could stand to see your power, too.”
“…Got it.”
Seeing the Replica nod, Vexen opened the door.
Riku ran up the hall, trying to chase after the Replica. I’m not about to lose to a fake like that…
“Where are you?! Show yourself, fake!” he shouted. But the fake was nowhere to be seen.
Instead, a voice he knew echoed in the marble hall—Ansem. “Fake? No…that’s not exactly the right word.”
Riku stopped and turned to face him. “What would you call it? He’s just a copy of me. He said so himself.”
“In fact, he is more like a model, an example of what you are meant to be. He accepts the darkness—just like you once accepted me.” Ansem stood still in the center of the room. “But now you fear it. Perhaps that makes you the fake.”
“When have I been afraid of the dark?” Riku shot back, holding Soul Eater ready.
I’m not afraid of it, he thought.
“Inside of the worlds created by those cards, you’ve grappled desperately with the darkness. Desperation is fear. You fight the darkness so fiercely because it is what frightens you.”
I wasn’t desperate. And I’m not afraid of the darkness. Riku told himself that and retorted aloud, “Hmph. You’re too obvious. You want me to think that as long as I’m fighting the darkness I’ll be afraid of it, so I should just stop fighting. Well, I’m not falling for it. I’ll only keep fighting harder.”
“Stubborn boy,” Ansem said, unruffled, and tossed a few cards at him. “Continue your fight, then, if you must. Eventually you will learn. You cannot resist the darkness.”
With a smirk, Ansem disappeared.
“…I can, too…resist the darkness,” Riku mumbled, picking up the cards that had scattered on the floor.
If he didn’t keep fighting against the darkness, he would lose his heart to it. To the darkness already within himself…
Riku still couldn’t believe in himself. All that he could believe in was what the king told him.
But the fake—what did he have to believe in when he fought?
Through the door, there were two people dressed the same as Vexen, standing in front of a crystal ball much like the one in the basement.
“How could you let yourself be humbled by someone of such meager significance?” Vexen ranted. “You shame the organization.”
The blonde, Larxene, looked down in a sulk.
“How can we help you, Vexen? It’s not often we see you topside.” It was the red-haired man, Axel, who spoke this time. But he didn’t so much as glance at Vexen, keeping his gaze fixed on the crystal ball.
The Replica could see three silhouettes there. The memories in him told him that the trio was Sora and his friends.
“I came to lend you a hand,” said Vexen. “You obviously believe this Sora has much potential, but I remain unconvinced he is truly worth such coddling. An experiment, I think, would show if he is really of any value to us.”
“Hmph. Well, here we go again,” Larxene remarked. “So it’s an excuse for you to carry out your little experiments. That’s all.”
“I’m a scientist. Experiments are what I do, yes.”
Paying no attention to the banter between Larxene and Vexen, the Replica moved closer to the crystal ball. Axel glanced at him with a faint smile.
“Whatever. You can do what you want,” Axel told Ve
xen. “But you know, I get the feeling that testing Sora is just a way for you to test your valet.”
The Replica looked up. Valet… I’m Vexen’s servant?
“Valet? He’s the product of pure research,” Vexen retorted.
“He’s a toy. That’s what he is,” Larxene shot back, cutting off any further explanation.
I’m…a valet, and a product of research, and a toy…, the Replica thought. But I don’t really care what anyone says. All I have to do is become stronger than the real one and defeat them.
“Hmph. You could stand to keep your mouth shut about things you don’t understand,” Vexen snapped.
“Anyway… Since you came all the way up here, you’re gonna want this. A humble gift for my elder! I hope you use it to put on a good show for us.” With a cocky smile, Axel tossed something to him. “Here—a card.”
“Oh, how very helpful of you. Well, then, I’ll be using that… Come along.”
At Vexen’s order, the Replica went to join him. “It’s just a card. What good is that?”
“That card holds the memories of Sora and Riku’s home,” said Axel.
What could that mean…? The Replica stared at the card in Vexen’s hand.
“With that and a little help from Naminé, you’ll have all the real Riku’s memories. We can even get her to make you forget that you’re nothing but a fake.” Larxene spoke quickly and easily, leaning her face close to the Replica’s. “In other words, we’ll remake your heart so you can be just the same as the real Riku. ’Kay?”
“You want to remake my heart?! The real Riku is a wimp who’s afraid of the dark—afraid of himself!” the Replica shouted. “What do I want with the heart of a loser like that?!”
Even if they’re just faint memories, he thought, I don’t want any more memories from that coward! They’ll just make my heart weaker!
As if she hadn’t heard him at all, Larxene turned back to Vexen. “Any objections, Vexen? You do want to use him to test Sora, don’t you?”
“It must be done.”
“How can you?! Vexen, you’re betraying me?!” the Replica cried. He wanted to stay as he was. He didn’t want to share any more memories with Riku.
“I told you I would make good use of you, didn’t I?”
“Relax, kiddo,” said Larxene. “It probably won’t even hurt that much!”
Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories The Novel (light novel) Page 22