by Peggy Webb
“How do you plan to get me to the altar, Hawk? By force?”
“If necessary.”
He leaned down and tenderly brushed his lips against hers. “I want more, Elizabeth, much, much more. But I’m willing to wait. I’m willing to wait until you can trust me, can trust in our future together.” He mounted the stallion, taking her with him. “You will come to me, Elizabeth. And until then, you will feel my presence, you will know that you are mine.”
“I won’t come.”
She thought he smiled, but she couldn’t be sure. The dark descended on them as they made their way down the bluff and back toward home. This time, Hawk didn’t take her to the tunnel. He rode boldly up to her door and carried her inside. Before he set her back on her feet, he gripped her chin and forced her to look at him.
“I took the long way home so people would see us together. There will be no doubt in Tombigbee Bluff that you are mine, that the baby you carry is mine. Don’t think I will let you go, Elizabeth. Every time you look up, my stallion will be at your door.”
“But you will never be in my bed.”
She thought he was going to kiss her. He leaned so close, she could see the lights in the center of his dark eyes, could feel his warm breath fanning her cheek. If he kissed her there in the hall where they had shared so much passion, she wasn’t sure she could be strong.
Finally, he released her. Arranging the blanket around her shoulders, he smiled. “Keep this. I want to know my blanket covers you at night. “ He started toward the door.
“Wait.” She jerked the blanket off and held it out, but he kept on going.
Her hand trembled as she released the blanket. It landed on the floor in a rainbow of color. Elizabeth started up the stairs toward her bedroom. She was halfway up before she turned and went back for Hawk’s blanket.
Ten
Elizabeth slept with Hawk’s blanket covering her. When she woke up the next morning, the brightly colored Indian blanket was the first thing she saw. She lifted it to her face. It smelled of wool and saddle oil and pine needles and some indefinable masculine scent that was distinctly Hawk’s.
She got out of bed, folded the blanket, and put it on the top shelf of her closet. Then she shut the door. But she couldn’t shut Hawk out of her mind so easily. What was he doing now? Was he lying in his bed, magnificently naked, or was he already fighting the battle for his Chickasaw tribal lands?
She went outside and got the morning paper. The headlines announced the arrival of the U.S. Secretary of Native American Affairs. “The Chickasaw leader, Black Hawk, will be meeting with Robert Newton today,” Elizabeth read.
She carried the paper inside and sat down at her kitchen table to finish reading about Hawk.
The reporter had done his homework well. He told of Hawk’s long history of clashes with the city government. He outlined the reforms Hawk had brought about. There was a picture layout of the new recycling plant that had been built because of Hawk. There were interviews with various citizens who told how their lives had changed because of him, how they had become aware of the world they lived in and the need to preserve it.
Hawk’s brother Steel dubbed him a “Warrior of the Twenty-first Century.” He called his brother courageous and noble.
Elizabeth folded the paper and set it aside. Hawk was all those things—and more. How easy it would be for her to become star-struck.
She was pouring her second cup of hot tea when her cell phone rang. It was Gladys.
“Hi, I’m planning a big social outing on this wonderful Saturday. Shopping and a sinfully rich treat at JP’s afterward. Want to go?”
Elizabeth started to decline, then thought better of it. She wasn’t going to become a recluse again.
o0o
They spent most of the morning shopping, then settled into a booth at the back of JP’s and ordered banana splits. When Gladys was deep into her whipped cream and chocolate, Elizabeth decided to share her secret.
“Gladys, I have something to tell you.”
“I hope it’s momentous. Life is getting so dull around here, I could use some shaking up.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?”
“I’m going to have a baby.”
“Well, congratulations.” Gladys reached across the table and squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “I guess there will be a wedding real soon, huh?”
“No.”
“No?”
“I’ll raise the baby with a lot of help from my friends.” She laughed. “And Aunt Kathleen, if she ever comes home. Black Hawk has his life and I have mine.”
Gladys settled back into her side of the booth, her mouth pursed. “How does he feel about this?”
“He says he wants marriage.”
“He sounds like a sensible man to me.”
“I won’t trap him this way.”
Gladys caught her hand. “Elizabeth, he loves you.”
“How do you know?”
“I met him when you were in the hospital. Did you know he stayed outside your door round the clock? Did you know that every time you slept, he went inside and sat beside your bed, holding your hand and agonizing over you?”
“No. You didn’t tell me.”
“He forbade me to.”
“He’s good at giving orders.”
Gladys released her and leaned back once more, her forehead wrinkled in deep concentration.
“He asked if you spoke of him, Elizabeth.” Elizabeth didn’t reply. “His heart was breaking. He wanted to be with you openly. He wanted you to need him, to want him.”
“He wanted his child, that’s all.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I know Hawk.”
“What if you’re wrong?” Gladys persisted. “Have you thought about that? You’ll not only be throwing away your own chance for happiness but your child’s chance for a full-time father.”
Gladys tucked a big bite of whipped cream and chocolate into her mouth and swallowed in grim silence. Elizabeth toyed with her fork.
“Elizabeth McCade, I’ve never questioned your judgment, but now I have serious doubts about it. Blackie is a good man, a decent and noble man.” Gladys fortified herself with another mouthful of chocolate. “Maybe I’m not the world’s greatest authority on men, but I think I know enough about the male species to recognize a prize when I see one.”
“I’m not denying that.”
Gladys relented and reached over to pat her friend’s hand. “I guess I came on a little strong. What you do is your business.”
“Thank you, Gladys.”
“And you have my full support. I want you to know that. I’ll help you knit some little booties and bonnets. Shoot, I’ll even knit a little christening dress. I want my goddaughter to be the best dressed little girl in Tombigbee Bluff, though I guess if Kathleen ever gets home, she’ll put up an argument about naming the baby Sophie Gladys Hawk.”
“Your first name is Sophie?”
“Yes.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s a boy.”
“How do you know?”
“Hawk said so.”
They looked at each other and cracked up.
o0o
That night Elizabeth dressed for bed and lay down on her cool white sheets, but she couldn’t lie still. She got up and hauled down Hawk’s blanket then returned to her bed and finally fell asleep.
o0o
Hawk found her that way. He stood beside her bed, staring down at her. Her black hair lay like silk against the intricate pattern of blues and reds and yellows.
Quietly he sat down and pushed the blanket aside. Elizabeth was wearing a sheer white teddy that hugged her body. She was already showing signs of her pregnancy. He bent over and kissed her cheek.
“Why must you be so stubborn, Elizabeth?”
Hawk pulled the blanket back over her, then sat on the edge of the bed a while longer, watching her sleep.
She stirred. Stretching languoro
usly, she sighed, then she opened her eyes.
“Hawk?”
“Hello, Elizabeth.”
She looked at the luminous dial on her bedside clock.
“It’s eleven o’clock, and all you say is ‘Hello, Elizabeth.’“
“I can say more.” He sat beside her. “I can do more. It’s up to you, Elizabeth.”
“Why are you here?”
“To check on you. To make sure you are safely tucked in bed and getting your proper rest.”
“I won’t be foolish, Hawk. I want this baby as much or more than you do.” She sat up, pulling the blanket with her. “Why are you out so late? You should be getting your own rest. You look tired.”
“I’ve just come from a meeting with Robert Newton and the city fathers.”
“How did it go?”
“We’ve won, Elizabeth. There is no way Tombigbee Bluff can take Chickasaw lands, no matter how many tax advantages the mayor can think of.”
“I’m glad, Hawk.”
“It’s over, Elizabeth.”
“This battle is; there will be another one.”
“Yes. I don’t deny it.” He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. “But I can handle it, Elizabeth. Tonight I realized that my life has been very one-sided. As I sat in that boardroom with all those officials, my mind drifted. I thought of you, here in this bed, and I wanted to be here with you. I’ve been so caught up in causes that I’ve missed the things that are most important: love, family, friends.”
“You were always good at speeches, Hawk. And very convincing.”
He smiled at her. “I’m going to make some changes. I’m going to create the proper balance of work with play, of causes with family.”
She didn’t say anything, and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head.
“Sweet dreams, Elizabeth.”
“My dreams are never sweet,” she called after him, and then realized that it was no longer true.
Astonished, she snuggled back into her blanket and smiled.
o0o
She didn’t see him again for a week. Although she knew she should have been relieved that at last he was letting her manage her own life, she felt uneasy and restless.
With dust rag in hand, she descended on the room next to her bedroom. It was high time to think about fixing up a nursery. And sooner or later, she was going to have to tell Aunt Kathleen about the baby.
She removed a fine coating of dust that always seemed to collect in empty rooms, then dragged a chair over to the window and climbed up. The first thing to go would be the ratty old curtains.
Suddenly she felt strong hands around her waist. “What are you doing?” Hawk roared as he lifted her out of the chair.
“I was taking down curtains until I was so rudely interrupted.”
“You will not jeopardize my baby by climbing on top of furniture.” He looked at her as if she were out of her mind. If she hadn’t been so mad, she would have laughed.
“I was not climbing on furniture; I was merely standing on a chair.”
“If you want somebody to stand on a chair, call me. I’ll come stand on as many chairs as you want.”
“I won’t be calling you every time I want some little thing done. Turn me loose.”
“Why?”
“So I can take these curtains down. I don’t want the baby to have to look at the drab old things.”
“My baby will be in the crib of his grandfather in his very own room out at the ranch.”
“At the ranch?”
“You can decorate his room any way you like.”
“You don’t have room in that cabin for a baby... and anyway, he won’t be there. He will be with me.”
“Well, at least you’re finally admitting you carry a boy.” Hawk stalked across the room and jerked a blueprint off the chest of drawers. Then he spread it across the floor. “This will be our new house. Construction starts Monday. Both of you will live there, Elizabeth.” His fierce gaze challenged her to deny him.
Elizabeth faced him with her hands on her hips. “I will not take orders from you, Hawk.”
“All right.” He tossed the blueprints onto the chest of drawers. “I won’t argue with you about living accommodations. If you prefer to live here, that’s fine with me. I’ll move my things in. I can run my ranch from here.”
“You’ll move in?”
“That’s what I said.”
“I let you move in once and look what happened.”
He smiled. She went to the window and gazed outside. The stray cat was worrying a mockingbird perched in a wild cherry tree. It was funny how everything in her life could be so changed and the outside world still looked the same.
She felt Hawk’s hands on her shoulders. “Look at me, Elizabeth,” he said gently.
She turned to face him. He brushed a strand of hair back from her temples, then slowly took the pins from her hair. It fell in a dark curtain around her shoulders.
“I always picture you like this... with your hair down.” He pressed his lips into the pulse point at the side of her neck. “You taste good, Elizabeth.”
“Oh, Hawk...”
“I’ve waited for you.”
“What we had, Hawk, was temporary insanity that never should have turned to love.”
“But it did.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to compound the mistake.”
“I don’t want to keep waiting.” He raised his head so he could look at her. “We’re missing too much.”
“I lost my head over you once; I won’t do it again. My future is too important. I have two to think about now.”
He took her hands. “Let me care for you, Elizabeth. Let me love you.” He turned her hands over and kissed her palms. “I will never hurt you; I will never desert you,” he whispered. “Trust me.”
Hawk gently reached up and pressed his hand against her lips.
“Don’t worry, Elizabeth. Everything is going to be all right.”
Suddenly the entire fabric of Elizabeth’s life seemed to come apart. She twisted out of Hawk’s reach and planted her fists on her hips. “How can you say that? You’re not the one who is pregnant.”
“It’s my child, Elizabeth. And I will take care of him. I’ll take care of both of you.”
“I haven’t seen you for a week. Hawk.”
“I’ve—”
“Please,” she interrupted, holding up her hand.
“I’m not interested in excuses. At least Mark didn’t give me excuses.”
“Elizabeth...” Hawk’s voice was dangerous.
The floodgates to her emotions were down, and Elizabeth let her feelings come; all the pain, all the fear, all the uncertainty came boiling to the surface.
“At least he never pretended to want anything except my body. ‘Your appetites are as big as mine.’ Isn’t that what you told me in the beginning?”
“I don’t deny that in the beginning we came together because of passion and need.”
“And even now when I’m dirty and pregnant and frumpy...”
“You’re beautiful...”
“...right in the middle of my housecleaning, all you can think about is sex.”
“Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll go.” He caught her face between his hands and tipped it up. “Look into my eyes and deny your passion, Elizabeth.”
She closed her eyes to shut out his face. Even so, it was etched on her memory, the eyes dark and piercing, the face as fierce as if he were challenging his most formidable opponent.
“I don’t deny it,” she whispered. She opened her eyes. “I want you, Hawk. I will always want you. I’m trying to learn to live with that. I can’t always be a slave to my passion.” Two big tears rolled down her cheeks. “I get pregnant every time I do.”
“Elizabeth... Elizabeth...” Hawk pulled her into his arms and rocked back and forth, murmuring soothing words and gently rubbing her back. “We won’t discuss this anymore. I’ll make you some tea, and you can sit in a r
ocking chair and watch while I do... whatever it is that you want done.”
“I don’t need...”
“I’m staying, Elizabeth.” His voice brooked no argument.
Her gloom ended as quickly as it had come. She guessed she’d have to get used to mood swings for the next few months.
“If you think you can stand being around a cranky old pregnant woman.”
“You’re my woman... and I love you.”
She let that pass. She was in no emotional state to deal with declarations of love.
“All right.” She went to the rocking chair and sat down. It did feel good.
“Just unhook those things up there at the top... that’s right. That’s very good, Hawk.” She couldn’t help but laugh at the picture he made, all male, his brow furrowed in concentration at the simple task of taking down curtains. Black Hawk would not be easily domesticated. Although she had to admit that he was trying. It gave her cause for consideration.
Hawk stayed all day, helping her around the house. Late that evening they were in the kitchen together, sharing a simple meal with the setting sun gilding the windowpanes.
“Change your mind, Elizabeth.”
“Hawk, please...”
“I know I promised not to talk about any of this, but I worry about you. I need to be with you, watching over you.”
“No. I have my life; you have yours.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way. Come home with me.”
“No.”
“Then I’ll move my things in here tonight—”
“Don’t.” Elizabeth stood up, came around the table, and ran her fingers through his hair. “We’ve had a lovely day. Let’s not spoil it with another argument.”
“I’m not going to argue. I’m just going to talk sense.”
“We always argue, Hawk.” She smiled. “I guess that’s because we’re so much alike.”
“No.” He stood up, smiling. Then he leaned over and kissed her softly on the mouth. “You are soft and beautiful, lovely to look at and lovely to touch. We’re not alike at all.”
After he left, she stood at the window, looking out at the darkness. Hawk was not a simple man. He would always be a modern-day warrior, eagerly awaiting his next battle.
“Oh, Hawk... how I wish...” Her voice trailed off. She wasn’t sure what she wished anymore.