by Susan Kyle
There was a tap on the door. Amanda stood just in the doorway, dressed in jeans and a yellow tank top, her hair in a bun. She looked young and defensive.
“Mima’s putting supper on the table, if you’re ready.” She started to move away.
“Come in and close the door,” he said unexpectedly.
She was reluctant to be alone with him after her honesty earlier in the day. Thinking it silly to show her fear, she closed the door and turned to him, her hands behind her as she leaned against the door. “What is it?” she asked.
He perched himself on the edge of the desk. “Johnson faxed me the latest figures on the paper. It looks solvent.”
She smiled wickedly, with a trace of her old humor. “From a distance, a white duck looks like a sea gull. He hasn’t raised job work prices in two years.”
“The figures indicate that he has.”
She shifted. “Then it must be a recent change.”
He nodded. “Very recent. Say, in the past few hours.” He smiled at her stare. “I told you I could read a spreadsheet. I know padded figures when I see them.” He folded his arms over his chest. “You can try your luck at rearranging things, if you like,” he told her. “If push comes to shove, and he threatens to kick you out, remind him who you are. There are ways to get around reactionaries, Amanda, if you use your brain. You don’t have to confront him head on.”
She laughed gently. “Something I’ve learned from you,” she agreed.
“Another thing,” he said with narrowed, threatening eyes. “Has my brother said anything to you about being in hock up to his eyes to a Las Vegas casino owner?”
She frowned. “No. Is he?”
“I think so,” he replied. “He hasn’t asked me for anything. I’m not sure he will. But if he mentions it to you, I’d like to know. I still think he needs counseling, but I'm not going to throw him to the wolves. Whatever his weaknesses, he’s my brother.”
“I know that. So does he, I’m sure.”
“Gambling is a disease,” he said wearily. “If I bail him out, he’ll go right back to it again. I wish I knew the answer.”
“Brad is jealous of you sometimes,” she told him. “He’s smart and he can charm, but he’s not you.”
“We were raised very differently,” he replied. His eyes fell to his cigar. “I had nothing of love. My mother was a gadfly, and my father was just as bad. They stuck me in military school and put Brad in the care of one governess after another.”
“Most of whom he seduced when he was in his teens,” she said dryly.
He didn’t smile. His dark eyes were somber. “Then they sent him to high school. So he could only seduce girls his own age. How did you ever escape?”
“I was off limits,” she said. “Brad told me so once. I’m the only woman he can talk to about his other women,” she said, laughing.
He stuck a hand in his slacks pocket and puffed on the cigar. The air-conditioned room had a huge, expensive filtering system that took out the pungent smell. Josh indulged his habit, but he was very careful not to subject anyone to secondhand smoke.
“Why do you smoke?” she asked abruptly.
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s to keep from overeating.”
“You’ll never be fat. You’re too busy.”
“Wearing out from the inside, I think you said.”
Her pale green eyes scanned his face. “I hope you won’t kill yourself with work. You don’t have anyone around you who would sit up with you if you got sick or collapsed. Brad is very rarely here. Ted is kind, but he lets you intimidate him.”
“Would you sit up with me?” he asked cynically. “Soothe my fevered brow and spoon-feed me?”
Her face closed up. “Isn’t that what friends are for?” She turned and put her hand on the doorknob.
“I’d do it for you, too,” he said curtly. His face hardened. “I’d do anything for you, Amanda.”
Her eyes half closed. “Anything except let me get close to you,” she whispered.
With a rough sigh he turned back to his desk and braced his hands on it. They turned white. He didn’t move. After a minute he heard the door open and close. The finality of it echoed in his ears.
Despite the way they’d parted, Amanda was gay and pleasant over the rather late dinner that Harriet prepared.
Brad showed up midway through dessert, looking smug and weary.
Josh recognized the look, but he didn’t say a word. Brad’s private life, and the way he conducted it, was his own business. He’d been coddling his baby brother too long already. It was time to step back and see if Brad could handle life by himself.
“Want some dessert?” Amanda offered.
“No thanks. I ate in Jamaica before I flew home. I saw Terri,” he added, glancing at Josh and unaware of the stiffness of Amanda’s face at the news Josh hadn’t mentioned to her. “She said you’d been by to shake a few hands. How’d I do, boss?”
“I’ll slip a bonus into next month’s check,” Josh said, chuckling. “I’m proud of you.”
Brad tried not to look too pleased. “Thanks. I think I’ll have coffee, anyway. Harriet!”
After they ate, Josh was called to the telephone, as was usual in the evenings. Brad and Amanda walked out onto the porch to sit on wicker chairs and listen to the sounds of the night. The surf was muffled here, but pleasant and calming.
“I gather that you closed the deal,” she murmured.
“The original one, and another besides,” he said smugly. “It feels pretty good to have my big brother proud of me once in a while. God knows I hardly ever please him.” He glanced at her. “If you’re still determined to go home tomorrow, I’ll go with you. I can’t leave my department hanging by Frederick Karlan’s fingernails much longer, or he’ll have my job! He’s ambitious that Karlan.”
“You’re irreplaceable. Ask anyone,” she said glibly. He stretched and yawned. He hadn’t had much sleep. He’d promised to phone Barbara the next time he was in Jamaica, and he would. She was a pleasant little diversion.
“Brad, can I ask you something?”
“Sure. What?”
“Are you in some sort of trouble?”
He hesitated, but only for a minute. “Yes,” he said. He folded his hands on his knees and leaned forward. “But that bonus Josh promised will help. And I’ll turn up something,” he added. “It’s nothing I can talk about.”
“You and Josh and your secrets,” she mused sadly. “Everybody’s got a secret.”
“Even you?”
She had, but Josh knew it. He knew exactly how she felt. But he didn’t want her to love him. Her inferiority complex told her that it was her lack of beauty, of sensuality, of talent, that kept him away. It might be the specter of Terri, too. He hadn’t wanted to marry Terri, whatever he’d felt for her. Amanda couldn’t help wondering if Josh had some dark secret that made him afraid of commitment. Perhaps it was something from his childhood.
“Was your father unkind to you and Josh?” she asked.
“He was distant,” he replied. “Not very communicative or very affectionate. Josh had less attention than I did. He was always alone. No one ever did anything for him unless he paid them.”
She winced at the thought. At least he knew she’d never cared about his money.
“Women would love him anyway,” he said dryly.
“He’s very good looking,” she agreed.
“Terri and her new husband are coining to stay at the cay next week,” he said absently. He’d invited them, and Terri had accepted. He hadn’t told Josh yet, and he was totally unaware of what had happened between Josh and Amanda in his absence. “I hope to God Josh doesn’t involve himself in a manage a trois while they’re here and kill a million-dollar deal with that Greek tycoon Terri married. I know he still aches for her, but Greeks are possessive and vengeful. Terri looks sad when she talks about him. Marriage or not, she hasn’t stopped caring about Josh.” He hoped he hadn’t committed a real blun
der by making the invitation without checking with Josh first. He’d have to mention it to his brother later.
Amanda’s ego took a nose-dive. Certainly Josh hadn’t mentioned Tem or her husband or any visit to her. Perhaps that was why he didn’t mind if she went back to San Antonio. Perhaps the reason he had rejected her had nothing to do with her appearance, but everything to do with Terri. Maybe he still loved Terri after all this time.
That would make sense. Amanda couldn’t imagine letting anyone except Josh touch her. If he felt that way about Terri, then his withdrawal from Amanda was terribly understandable.
She felt sick.
“You’re very quiet.”
“I’m thinking about work Monday,” she said, faking pleasure that she didn’t feel. “I’m going to make a few little changes around the old place and see what happens. Brad, my boy, I think I have it in me to become the Lady Astor of the job press set.”
“More power to you,” he replied dryly. “Put me on the invitation list when you hold your first presidential primary. I can hardly wait.”
“President Todd. That has a nice ring to it,” she agreed. She leaned toward him. “But if I married, wouldn’t my husband balk at having to wear an evening gown to receptions?”
He laughed lazily. Amanda could always cheer him up. “You have to get married first.”
“Not me,” she said. “Not even to get control of the Gazette.”
“That’s right,” he said to himself. “You would get control immediately if you married, wouldn’t you?”
“Forty-nine percent of it, anyway,” she replied. “I’ll be twenty-five in two years. If I can survive that long.”
Brad didn’t say a word. His eyes narrowed as he looked more closely at Amanda, the girl he had known forever. He had no doubt that she would somehow succeed and one day run the paper and job press more profitably than ever. Whoever married Amanda would not only win a devoted wife, but probably a small fortune as well.
Amanda was on her way up to bed the next time she saw Josh. He and Brad had been closeted in the study for a long time, and then Brad had gone to the living room to watch a movie on a satellite channel.
She paused at the staircase, her eyes fixed accusingly on Josh’s. “You didn’t tell me that Terri was coming here.”
His eyes went cold. So Brad had told her. Why shouldn’t he? Brad had no idea of the undercurrents at work here.
“I didn’t think it concerned you,” he said with quiet hauteur. “I only found out about it minutes ago, and besides, Terri is none of your business.” He waited for the snub to register. When he saw the anger narrow her green eyes, he turned away. “I’ll put the corporate jet at your disposal. You can leave when you like tomorrow.”
That was a definite closed door. She knew that set of his broad shoulders. He was inflexible. He had Terri in his sights. That was why he didn’t want Amanda. If only it didn’t hurt so much to know it!
“I thought Terri was married,” she said through tight lips.
He glanced at her with urbane amusement. “So?” he asked with forced indifference to her pain. His hands balled into fists in his pockets, and he even managed to smile mockingly. Her disgust and contempt at his morals showed on her face, but it got no reaction from him beyond a faint tautening of his jaw.
“I see.”
He turned away with forced nonchalance. “I’ve got some phone calls to make. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Certainly.” She didn’t see the steps as she climbed them. Her father’s death had devastated her. Her father hadn’t loved her or wanted her. Josh didn’t want her. Would anybody ever want her? she wondered. She’d always been a leftover person in the world, but it had never hurt so much before.
He’d done it, he told himself. He’d made her think Terri was back in his life, and now she’d leave without a protest. Her pride would see to that. But he felt no triumph.
She’d go back to San Antonio, and he’d get a grip on himself. His life would go back to normal. So would hers. One day they’d regain their old relationship, and the world would settle back into place. He went into his office and closed the door. He was, he considered, lying through his teeth.
The next morning Amanda changed into a pale blue silk suit. Silk was wonderful for tropical climates, she mused. It kept you cool. But even in a cool climate it was warm, and it seemed to breathe, like skin. If only it didn’t wrinkle so easily!
She put her hair up neatly and fixed her makeup before she took her purse and went downstairs.
“I’m ready to go,” she told Josh.
He turned from where he was standing on the balcony. Brad was putting their bags in the launch. At least, he told himself, Brad would keep up her spirits. He had no one to keep his up. His heart was on the floor at her feet, if she only knew it.
“Have you enough money?” he asked her coldly.
She was puzzled by the ice in his voice. He sounded as if he hated her. “I have enough,” she said. “I have a credit card, too.” She clutched her purse. It felt like a life preserver. She smiled at him forcibly. “Thanks again…”
“It was no hardship,” he replied curtly. He glanced at the door as Brad stuck his head inside for a minute.
“The Learjet’s gassed up and waiting. Get a move on, chicken!” he teased.
“I’ll be right there,” she called.
“See you back home, Josh,” Brad added, and vanished.
Josh didn’t speak to him. He’d tried to get his brother to talk to him the night before, but Brad had just smiled and said there was nothing to talk about. Josh felt as if everyone were deserting him. It was his choice. But it was no choice.
He stared at Amanda, so quiet and withdrawn. It was like saying good-bye forever. He felt it, as she must, and saw the suggestion of pain in her soft green eyes as they searched his with visible, aching need.
“Do you have to look at me like that?” he asked harshly.
“Like what, Josh?” she asked, knowing it disturbed him and triumphant with the knowledge.
His chest rose and fell quickly. His lips thinned. “Damn it all, Amanda!” he said under his breath.
His willpower was no match for those eyes. In one smooth motion he caught her arm, pulled her unceremoniously into his study, and slammed the door, his dark eyes blazing with emotion he couldn’t control. She smiled with pure delight, and his good intentions vanished like smoke.
He pushed her back into the mahogany panels of the huge door with the weight of his steely body, and while she was thinking that her suit would be wrinkled beyond repair, he bent and his mouth opened on her lips.
The surge of pleasure was instantaneous, incandescent. She moaned with aching abandon and began to move under the aroused crush of him, her hips undulating softly, her breasts flattened under the pressure of his chest.
“Yes, you want me,” she whispered, clinging to his neck. “You know you do!…”
His mouth bit into hers again and probed it with expert skill until she was moaning and trembling, her legs barely able to support her. He had her hips in his hands, and he was tugging her into him rhythmically, making her feel the power and heat of his arousal.
She met him halfway, and time stood still until at last he lifted his head and looked into her dazed eyes. He cursed his own weakness for her. He couldn’t do this. He had no right. His face hardened.
“Can you tell me that you still want Terri, after that?” she asked through swollen lips. “What can you have with her that you couldn’t with me?”
Terri. The name brought him back to cold sanity.
He pulled away from Amanda, and his features froze as he looked down into faintly triumphant green eyes. “Freedom,” he returned. Her eyelids flickered. “Terri won’t expect to marry me for a few heated hours in bed.”
“I’d give you more than that,” she said huskily.
His eyes narrowed. “Bargaining with me, Amanda?” he asked. “Sex in exchange for a wedding band? Or maybe,”
he added mockingly, “for control of a newspaper?”
She flushed angrily. “That was low, Josh.”
He ran his hand through his thick blond hair. “Go ahead. Tell me you’re not like that,” he challenged. “Tell me that it’s my heart you want, not the power and money and prestige that go with it. Tell me you wouldn’t do anything to get control of your mother’s newspaper.”
She threw up her hands. For just a minute she’d thought she was winning. But he was the iron man again.
“Oh, for God’s sake, have you gone daft?” she muttered. “You know I’m not mercenary!”
“Women have bargained their bodies with me for years,” he said with blunt cynicism. “Most of them got diamonds and fur for their favors. But Terri,” he added, lying deliberately, “will settle for my body, since she’s got Mikapoulis’s millions.”
Her eyes flashed. She wanted to swing at him, but that wouldn’t do. “I wish you joy of her,” she said through clenched teeth.
“I’ve already had it,” he mused. “And I will again. She and I have no business dealings together.”
It took every shred of dignity and control she had not to slap that mocking smile off his handsome face.
“And you and I do,” she said.
“That’s right,” he said unpleasantly. “Now we’re business partners, which puts you in a totally different bracket. In two years you’ll have forty-nine percent of the paper. By then you’ll have earned it. Until then,” he added, “Ward Johnson is the man in charge.”
“It isn’t Ward Johnson’s paper, it’s mine! My legacy from my mother!” she raged at him. She realized that her outburst was going to go against her, and she controlled herself. “I don’t know what Johnson told you, but he’s losing money hand over fist. I’ll prove it to you if it’s the last thing I do!”